


Missy

by SagiDraconis



Category: One Piece
Genre: Fun, Funny, Maybe just friendship, Multi, OC, Potential Spoilers, Reader-Insert, ancient weapon, may change my mind later, maybe not, maybe relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2019-10-16 20:53:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 108,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17553023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SagiDraconis/pseuds/SagiDraconis
Summary: [Female Reader Insert] Being one third of one of the legendary ancient weapons sounds like a dream come true. 'Unlimited' power? The ability to see the future? Think more like having a nagging sibling/weapon in your head, a freaky blood colour and killer headaches. Not to mention being a notorious (ex)assassin. It's just like the world's happy to see you shoved under the rug as a freak of nature. So when the Straw-hat crew shows up in Loguetown, you jump at the chance to prove yourself. Time for the world to see you are more than the sum of your parts!Current arc: Baroque Works





	1. Three-mop technique, a tuna and a clown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did I could buy enough meat to make Luffy full.

The Gold Roger bar was as empty as it had always been. You sat absentmindedly on one of the least damaged barstools near the counter holding a worn bounty poster.

'Wanted-Dead or Alive-Missy Sai-200,000,000 belly'

The picture, however, was what you were most interested in. The young teenage girl in the photo grinned gleefully over her bare shoulder, showing off the prominent black ink etched on her skin. You ran your thumb over the black lines.

A scythe.

Your brow tightened momentarily as you pinged a nail off your glass. "Huh, guess she really does look like me," you mumbled.

"For god's sake, are you still hung up about that, _Missy_ ," Captain Smoker brought down his empty bottle with a slam.

"Oh shut it, _Captain_ ." You let the yellowing paper fall through your fingers to rest among more of its kind on the floor. "Course I am. It's just that no matter what I do, wearing sleeveless tops and whatever, people will always try to arrest me. They just go 'hey, this person hasn't shown up for the last six years and is probably dead in a hole somewhere, but naaah, she must be this random bartender we found who looks vaguely similar'." Raising your glass, you rolled your eyes, "I mean come on, some idiotic marine made a _fantastic_ effort to send me to Impel Down…”

Smoker grimaced, waving a smoke finger over to the shelves of bottles, "We’ve gone over that. It was better for me to be suspicious and you come out innocent than letting that monster escape through my clutches. Everything was solved when you showed me your arm-."

“Okay now excuse me, _I_ showed _you_ ? Now correct me if I’m wrong here, but you _literally_ tore my sleeve off. And I mean literally. You are the reason I started to wear short sleeves in the first place." Drumming your fingers against the bar table, you winked, "Have to say though, you really can be forceful with a woman if you want to be. I’m impressed.”

“It’s my _job_ to be forceful.” He narrowed his eyes as recalled his smoke, bottle in tow, “Gender doesn’t play into the matter.”

"Yeah yeah, all I’m hearing are excuses."

"(y/n)..." Smoker groaned, “ I have enough of that from Tashigi...”

You slumped your head on the bar, “It’s not like it’s my fault half the town are thinking that we’re together or something.”

“Well it _is_ your fault that they’re making such a big deal out of it. The number of times I’ve found you on a roof or in someone else’s tree of all things and have had to chase you off.”

“Okay in my defence trees are comfy. How people can sleep cooped up in buildings is beyond me. Gimme open space any day.”

“...Right. But even Tashigi seems to think of us as a couple.”

You recoiled, “Uuugh. No no no no and no! I’m going to have to have a few words with her, ‘cause this is just not on, no offence Smokey but it just feels _wrong_.”

“None taken, but good luck getting through to her,” Smoker shuddered, “She’s a romantic, and a fool at that. Thinks since you’re the only person I’m ‘remotely polite to’, whatever that means, then I must like you in someway.”

“Well you’ve gotta admit, she has a point. BUT,” You raised a finger to silence his open mouth, “We both know you’re married to your job, so couldn’t possibly have any unnecessary feelings for anyone. So we’re good.”

He pinched his nose, inhaling sharply, “How the hell do I put up with you…”

“Daaw, you love me really.”

Snorting derisively, he uncorked the bottle and raised it to his lips, “Why of course, that’s what the entire town thinks.”

“Hang on a sec,” You leant over eagerly, “Is that a smile?!”

“N-no!”

“Oh my Kruuuh-GOD, it is! It’s a miracle, Captain Smoker is showing actual HAPPINESS!” Bouncing off your seat, you dashed to behind the bar, clapping your hands together, “Now this calls for a party, we need to let the entire town know to set a date.”

“Missy…”

You stretched up to grab a bottle, “Should we have the Navy Rum in honour of your bad taste in alcohol? I could use it in my special daiquiri to try and make it drinkable. Oh, but I also do a mean martini…”

“Just stop.”

“We need to ring up, Sen-goat-ku was it? This needs to be a national holiday. Plus I’m sure that he’d want to know too...”

You bit your lip as Smoker aggressively threw down some money and practically flew past the saloon doors and under the curtain. You waited for a bit, counting to fifty before letting the impending giggles finally spill out.

"You're a wicked woman, (y/n)." The bar owner growled as he shuffled in from the back room with his skull.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about." You skipped over to one of the tables and turned down the two chairs on the table, turning them to face each other across the table. "It’s not my fault he can’t handle some light fun." Sliding over the bar, you gestured to the shelves of your precious alcohol. "What'll it be, sir?"

Raoul gently sat the skull by one chair. His fingers lingered over the large stab wound as he grinned toothily back at you. "I think some of the Clement today. How much did he tip us this time?"

"Some of the '42 Rum? And,” You whistled lowly as you counted the belly notes between your fingers, “It’s a record, 500,000 belly."

"Eh, why not," Raoul chuckled as you retrieved the bottle and poured three glasses, "Now that’s a happy cabbage.”

“A what now?”

“Never you mind brat. You keep the cash, I think you’ll need it more than I will.”

_“A ‘happy cabbage’ is old fashioned slang for a ‘tidy sum’. Typically of money.”_

You raised an eyebrow, deciding to ignore that tiny voice, "Really? If you’re sure, then don’t mind if I do.”

Raoul was staring at you in confusion as you bought over two glasses, placing one in front of him and the other in front of the skull.

Tilting your head, you groaned, "What?"

"I was meaning to ask, when did you bring out the milk from the back to put in the fridge?"

Sauntering back to your barstool where your drink was waiting, you grinned, "Earlier today. One of my gut feelings, so I think we will need it." You had barely sat down when the clock outside struck 11.

"To a happy retirement." The old bartender raised his glass to you and the skull.

"To finding a new place to live 'cause _someone’s_ kicking me out," Grimacing, you raised your own in return and you both downed your glasses.

Giggling, you put down the glass, "Man that’s good booze. Can you handle another one, old man?"

"Mind who you're talking to, brat. But we might as well start using all this up. Bring some of the same over here."

Refilling your glass, you tossed a bottle towards him without turning. A muted clink told you that Raoul actually caught it, "Nice catch old man."

"I still have it in me, y'know."

Back on your stool, you both sat drinking your rum slowly, reminiscing on old times. Occasionally you pinged your nail against the glass or drummed your fingers against the counter in an odd rhythm. Anything to break the suffocating wave of memories. Those, you had far too many of.

This near silence period continued for an hour, until you heard footsteps approach.

The old man’s knuckles whitened as they gripped his glass.

Almost immediately, you cocked your head to the side to listen. Eventually, "Very light, wearing sandals. I'd say about late teens but don't quote me on that. Definitely not the Captain," you murmured, and the old man relaxed a little. But only a little. 

Soon enough a youngish boy pushed past the saloon doors into the bar. You gave him a quick eye-over before returning to your drink. Black hair, a prominent scar under left eye, red top, blue shorts and most noticeably a straw hat with a red ribbon. To your smugness, he was in his late teens.

_‘Ha! Not rusty at all.’_

The ever present voice in your head sniffed in disdain, _“It’s hardly as if we have been sitting around for the past six years doing no training whatsoever.”_

The boy looked around the bar before walking in. It was almost like he didn’t register the dust, eyes sparkling as if he instead had entered a treasure trove. His head whipped between you and the old man before he finally decided on Raoul, "Uh...Excuse me, do you work here? The sign hanging outside says this place is called 'The Gold Roger'. How'd it get that name?"

_“It’s him.”_

You set down your glass, _‘About damn time.’_

Raoul glared at him, unimpressed with the newcomer, "Scram.” He cursed under his breath as the boy merely cocked his head to the side, "You should leave. This isn't a place for unaccompanied children.”

"Besides," You swirled your drink, an absent minded smile on your face, "we're actually just closed up shop for good."

"You're going under?"

Raoul grimaced at the word, "We're not ‘going under’. I've decided to shut it down myself. I'm retiring."

"And kicking me out," You pouted, splaying a hard on your chest and holding a hand above your forehead mockingly, "Oh the humanity! Poor little me!

"Don't try and make us pity you, brat. I've seen you sleep in a damn tree more times than I've seen you sleep in the bar."

Rolling your eyes, you raised your glass, "Still don’t see a problem with that.”

Straw-hat walked hesitantly over to take the seat next to you, "Sorry, I just wanted to know about the name. See, I'm looking for the execution platform, but I'm lost. Could you tell me the way? Wait, what the heck is that?" Abruptly leaning forwards on the stool, his eyes grew to twice their size, "Woah, it's a huge skull! That's so cool!"

You smiled wistfully as Raoul's eyes momentarily regained their old twinkle, "Killer Giant. One of the most feared villains to ever haunt the waters of the Grand Line." He clinked his glass against the one in front of the skull. "He sent hundreds of pirates to their deaths over the course of his life."

Sneaking a glance at the boy, you could tell he was already enraptured.

The old man smirked, "But it only took Gold Roger a single blow to put the behemoth down for good."

"Gold Roger killed him?"

And with that single well timed question Raoul had more life in him than you had ever seen in him before. He animatedly launched off into his precious stories, barely pausing for breath as the excited boy besides you inched over further to the edge of his seat.

But then he stopped. Raoul put down his glass, "Killer Giant was a terrible waste of human flesh anyway, but he proclaimed with his dying breath," the old man leaned over the table, pointing a finger towards the boy, "'Gold Roger, I take my hat off to you. You will forever be...the King...of the pirates'."

You smirked, _‘You have to give it to him, the way he tells them are always entertaining .’_

_“Agreed. A true bartender so to speak. Even if these tales are not be wholly accurate.”_

_‘Mello you’re such a spoilsport.’_

The boy squealed in excitement, "Awesome! Tell me more!"

The old man began listing more pirates, many powerful and ruthless men that had attacked the seas. _'No one had ever equalled them in battle'_ and so on. He topped up his glass and raised it. Straw-hat looked like he was about to explode in anticipation.

"But not Gold Roger."

"Yeah?" The boy clenched his fists in awe.

Raoul gave a satisfied sigh, "Nobody ever wants to hear my stories these days."

You twisted around to face him properly, "Hey, I love your stories."

"You could recite my stories perfectly after I told them to you ONCE, (y/n)," The old man sipped from his glass, "The suspense was never there after that."

Raising your own glass to your lips, you giggled, "I guess you have a point, old man."

The boy looked at both of you in confusion, "But I want to hear them," Bouncing up and down on the stool, he turned to Raoul, "Keep talking."

"Now, don't rush me." Smirking, the bartender swirled his drink, "Now Gold Roger...in those days, I s'pose even now, he's the only man I've known not afraid of entering the Grand Line. Back then the Grand Line was a mysterious place…"

Now this part you had heard far too many times to count. Sipping your drink, you let Raoul's raspy voice wash over you. _'The Grand Line…'_   Your grip on the glass tightened. _'Caspar… Moko… I will see you again.'_  

_“I’ll make sure of it, Missy.”_

You gave a wry smile. 

The old man put down his glass, "There are no true pirates left, that's why I'm closing down."

The boy grinned widely, swinging his legs, "I'm going to the Grand Line."

Raoul stared at him in shock.

"Really kid?" Smirking, you cradled your head in your hands. "You seem pretty sure of yourself there."

"Hell yeah! Gold Roger's so cool! He's exactly how a pirate's supposed to be! That's why I'm here. To go to the Grand Line, get my hands on the one piece and then, be king of the pirates"

You whistled lowly as the old man's eyes widened, "Those are some pretty big words, kid."

Straw-hat shrugged, "I only said what I meant."

Giggling, you flicked him in the forehead. The texture was odd, but you didn't think too much of it, "I don't know why, but I've decided that I like you." You faced Raoul as he shuffled in your direction, "I think you should wait for a bit to close the bar, old man."

"I think you're right. In that case, let's have a drink. I haven't been in this good a mood in quite some time, since someone came here."

You pouted, "Rude," and downed the rest of the glass.

"Um...I don't drink alcohol."

The barkeep snickered, "Typical (y/n). Knowing what people need before they do themselves. Alright, then how about this." He poured three glasses of milk and passed them to both of you, "Let's raise our glasses together. To the eternal king of the pirates."

"Shishi! To the king of the pirates!"

"Yeah I guess. To the king of the pirates or whatever."

The three of you clinked your glasses together and drank deeply.

"You were looking for the execution platform, right?" you asked, hopping off the barstool "I can show you where to go."

"Really?" He sprung down, "That'd be awesome, thanks."

"Yeah you can go, we have no customers anyways so there's no point in hanging around here. Not that you were going to check with me anyway..." The barkeep rubbed his glasses, before mumbling softly as you exited the bar, "...I hope you enjoy yourself out there, Missy."

Glancing over your shoulder, you smirked slightly before ducking under the curtain.

* * *

 "So your name is Monkey D Luffy huh?"

The boy's head whipped back from oogling the barbeque stand on the corner. "Yup. And the old man called you Mis-?"

"Call me (y/n) for now. Might change my mind later."

He looked at you strangely, "Do you change your name often?"

You giggled, "Nah, that name was just an old nickname, that's all." Sighing in relief, you glanced at the boy. He marched forwards next to you, eyes eagerly exploring the bustling main street. Probably for more food, that was clear already. "Are you really going to travel to the Grand Line?"

"Yup!"

You chuckled at his sure answer, "How many people do you have in your pirate crew so far?"

"You know I'm a pirate?!" He seemed shocked, then his eyes sparkled. "Are you a magician?"

"...You're looking for the One Piece. So duh."

"Oh yeah." Luffy merrily  swung his arms as he skipped along. "We only have four other crewmates, but they're super tough," he grinned, "Zoro has cool swords, Usopp tells funny stories and Sanji cooks good meat."

You cocked your head to the side, "That's only three. What about the other one?"

A shadow crossed Luffy's face, "Nami's scary. She won't let me touch her money."

"Sounds like a fun bunch,” you giggled.

_“That definitely accords to your definition of fun.”_

Pouting, you flicked your shoulder out of habit.

Luffy stopped dead in the middle of the street, and you looked up, "One execution platform, as you wished."

"This is where they executed the king of the pirates," he gulped. "The place where the greatest pirate who ever lived, died. And the place where the great pirate age began."

Raising an eyebrow at his dramatic tone, you shoved your hands in your pockets, "Sooo why did you want to come here again?"

"I wanna see exactly what he saw before then, before he died," he swung his arms around in circles. "Well, here goes!"

* * *

 

You raised an eyebrow, "You doing okay up there?"

"Yup just fine," he grinned down as he slowly slid down the metal pole. His lack of climbing ability was starting to draw a crowd.

Luffy flailed a bit and you groaned, "I'm coming up." You scaled the execution platform with ease, and soon enough, you were perched on a girder slightly above Straw-hat. "I swear that you have the wrong surname. You are nothing like a monkey."

He looked up at you in awe, "Woah, that was fast. Awesome!!"

You sweatdropped, "Focus on the climbing, Luffy, instead of me." You looked down as you could hear a hush in the murmuring, and stiffened slightly.

"Hey. You, kid," Smoker's eyes narrowed, "(y/n)."

_‘Shit.’_

_“Agreed. That tone of voice-“_

_‘Mello...just shut up.’_

Luffy continued to climb, "I'm kinda busy right now, can it wait a minute?"

Smoker, who wasn’t the waiting type at best, looked like he was about to burst a vein, "(y/n)," he growled, pointing down.

Wincing, you sighed and leapt  down, rolling when you hit the floor, "What? You need something Captain?”

"Awwww...Is he your Captain?" The boy slowly sliding down the pole looked a little upset.

"Nah, I just call him that."

"Shishishi, good!" He beamed.

Smoker's eyes narrowed to slits as he kept facing Straw-hat, "(y/n), go and wait in my office right now."

"But Smo-"

He glared.

Sucking in a breath to calm your nerves, you scratches the back of your neck, "It was nice to meet you, Luffy.”

"Huh?" The distraught boy flailed his limbs around as he tried to figure out how to get down, "Wait up! I wanna ask you something!"

Sulking off, you waved a hand absentmindedly, "Oh don’t worry. We’re gonna meet again, if I'm not brutally killed by the 'oh so great and powerful one' first."

Another piercing glare bored into your back.

"Yeah, yeah...I'm going already...Don't get your cigars in a twist..."

* * *

 "Stupid Captain, he never lets me have any fun," you pouted. Arms behind your head, you sauntered through the base in the complete opposite direction to Smoker's office. Turning a corner, the two marines on patrol raised their hands in greeting.

"Well if it isn't (y/n)!"

You mock saluted, “Yo, if it isn’t Barr and Jon! How’re you doing, guys?”

Jon snorted derisively, "What did you do to make Captain Smoker mad this time?"

"Need help getting to his office?" Barr raised an eyebrow, "You don't seem to be going the right way..."

Eyes widening, you swiftly marched past them, "Nah, I'm good thanks. I've been here enough times by now. He just asked me to collect something from the someplace, that's all."

“Hold it, (y/n).” Jon quickly clamped a hand down on your shoulder. “Like we really believe you’re not gonna run off after being spotted in the base.”

You giggled nervously. 

Barr groaned, his rifle clunking to the side as he held his head in his hands, “Like seriously, you’ve pulled this on us four times this week alone.”

“And it’s only Wednesday…”

“Bu…uh...but,” you attempted to snatch the words out of the air, “but angry Smoker…”

The two marines exchanged a pitying look.

“Yeah, we know. But he’s going to be even angrier if we just let you go.” Jon smiled apologetically as he steered you towards the dreaded office, “I’m sorry (y/n)... but we’ve got to do this.”

A movement told you that Barr had swiftly grabbed your other side. You were trapped.

You sighed, “Fine…” and reluctantly allowed yourself to be frogmarched by the two marines.

Turning the next corner, you glanced down to see a yellow sign saying 'Caution, cleaning in progress!'. Further down the corridor you could see a green haired man, who in your eyes looked like he should be doing anything other than mopping floors.

"Crap this is going to take the whole damn day. Unless..." he picked up two more mops from the pile in the corner and placed one between his teeth.

Your eyes widened in recognition, _'why is he here?'_.

Pirate hunter Zoro made quick work of the floor as he swiped with all three mops, leaving it spotless. "Three mop technique worked like a charm."

_'He can't be serious, right?'_

_“It appears that he is, Missy.”_

_‘Oh dear Kronos…’_

Jon and Barr gasped and rushed towards the intruder, "Hey you! Just what do you think you're doing?"

As he turned to face them, Barr whimpered, "It's Zoro, the pirate hunter!"

"WHY ARE YOU CLEANING?"

_'Oh dear lord he is!'_

_“I told you.”_

"Intel says you teamed up with Monkey D Luffy's crew."

You raised an eyebrow. So this was the Zoro the kid was talking about. 

The marines reached for their swords, "Drop the mop!"

_'DO THEY REALISE WHAT THEY'RE SAYING?!'_

Mello was too busy cackling to respond. 

The swordsman quickly spun around and incapacitated both Jon and Barr with blows to the backs of their heads. As they lay unmoving on the floor, you couldn't hold it back for much longer. You laughed so hard you had to bend over clutching your sides, "I know Luffy said that you had 'cool swords' or whatever, but your three mop technique is something else."

Zoro glared at you suspiciously as he dropped the mops, "How do you know Luffy?"

"Oh he just burst into our bar saying he was going to be king of the pirate before getting caught climbing the execution platform."

"That sounds like him alright..." He frowned as he scribbled a memo and threw down some belly notes on top of one of the marines, "That idiot…"

Rubbing your head, you giggled nervously, "I should thank you, by the way. Those two weren't going to leave my side until Smoker comes back, and boy I do not want to stay for that," You held out a hand, "(y/n)."

He shook it hesitantly, "Zoro."

"Oh I know," Smirking, you tilted your head to the side, "You know, you could quit piracy and take up cleaning. I'm sure the circus will just _love_ you. You keep the stage clean and provide a good show. It’s a win win.”

He froze, vein twitching, "Think you're something special, do you?"

"Oh you have no idea, Mop-boy," You pointed to his single sword, "You normally have three swords yeah? So you need more?"

The scowl vanished .

"I'll take that as a yes," You started to walk away before you smirked over your shoulder, "Come on, I'll take you to a shop."

He straightened and crossed his arms, "Ph as if that’s gonna happen. I barely know you," Turning on his heel, he stalked off, "and you really expect me to trust you after you just insulted me?"

"Oh lighten up. I thought it was a compliment," you pouted, before counting down off your fingers. "Well first off, you're heading in the wrong direction. That’s the way to Smoker's office. Unless you want an earful, stay well away."

He spun around with a beet red face and marched towards you.

You placed a hand on your chin in mock thought, "Second, from my observations your sense of direction sucks. Majorly. Third, I've lived here for just about 4 years, which is just a teensy weensy bit longer than you have.” Giggling, you smirked at him, "Convinced yet?"

Growling in frustration, he stopped and glared at you over his shoulder, "Ok, you have a point."

You raised an eyebrow nonchalantly.

"Fine...several points." Zoro stretched his arms above his head, "So take me to this swords place you know."

"Sure, and we should be quick about it. I was supposed to be at Smoker's office by now, let alone the fact you wiped out a patrol," you giggled, "...Mop-boy."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

"NOT A CHANCE! It suits you."

"LIKE HELL IT DOES!"

* * *

 

It took just over an hour to get to a shop ten minutes away. As soon as the store was in sight, you rounded on the oblivious swordsman, "How the hell can someone get lost that many times when they are FOLLOWING SOMEONE."

"I was taking a shortcut," he grumbled defensively.

"I'm going back to the Gold Roger. I need a drink."

Zoro's face lit up, "I might join you. I'm always up for booze."

You stared at him, "...what about the swords?"

"I-I meant later!” he spluttered.

"Oh suuure. My mistake…" You turned away from the shop and started to walk off before you felt a familiar twinge in your temple. You frowned, "Actually you should probably head to the plaza after this. Someone should be able to point it out to you, Mop-boy. I'm planning to head there after I sort this last little thing out"

Zoro bristled at the nickname, but the expression swiftly faded, "Why do you say that?"

You waved briskly over your shoulder without looking back, "Call it a gut feeling."

* * *

 

On the way back to the Gold Roger, you reached a commotion in the middle of the street. Feeling curious, you effortlessly scrambled up to perch on a shop awning. There seemed to be some flamenco dancers in the eye of the storm if people; two men with strange heads and a woman. 

You winced. She could have been pretty, but boy did she need to sort out her hair.

Caught in the centre of their ‘act’, stood a dumbfounded blond with his back to you. His head whipped back and forth as the other three pranced back and forth before him. Then...

"You are beauty itself!" 

Groaning, you face palmed as the blond smoothly dropped to one knee.

_‘I didn’t think people like that actually existed…’_

_“He could at least raise his standards.”_

He got up and started to walk towards the startled woman, who evidently had not expected this change in events, "It is my greatest dream come true! Yes, beauty has come searching for meee~."

You winced in horror as what seemed to be like one of the cringiest transponder radio sitcoms played out before your eyes. It was painful to watch. You did pick up some useful bits of information, such as Flirty was known as one of the best cooks in the East Blue.

As well as the destructive power of frying pans.

The woman, Carmen, pointed a finger at Eyebrows,"Now I challenge yooouuu, Sanji."

Flirty took a tentative step back. You couldn't blame him.

 _“Missy,”_ Mello hummed, _“I believe Sanji was the name of a member of Straw-hat’s crew.”_

You grimaced, _‘Well that’s just great…’_

"If you dare bring your spices to the marketplace cooking competition at one this afternoon, you will be minced! Like garlic before heated oil! In a pan! HOhohohoho~" Carmen started spinning on one leg at such an amazing speed that to the casual observer, it probably looked like she was actually taking off from the ground like a tornado. That is, to the casual observer. You merely grimaced as the idiotic woman instead got dizzy and fainted. Squeaking, her two minions continued cream out her pathetic challenge as they carried her away.

The crowd blinked a couple of times incredulously, shrugged, and then went about their daily lives. 

You sweatdropped as you swung down just behind the motionless blond, "Talk about anticlimactic..."

Sanji ogled in the direction that they left in with (you did a double take) hearts in his eyes, "Ah...finally. A woman with a passion like mine."

Noting the impressively curly eyebrows, you tapped him on the shoulder, "So, it’s Sanji right?"

"Yeah…" He didn’t even turn, a line of smoke puffing out of his cigarette.

Your brow tightened momentarily, _‘He can’t be one of the-‘_

_“He is. Bone structure and distinctive eyebrows, along with a similar name. It’s almost certain.”_

You grimaced, before schooling your features into a wide smile, "Are you going to compete in that competition or what?"

"Huh?” He smirked, finally moving to glance over his shoulder, “Oh, nah. I don't participate in conte..."

You groaned as he stared at you, eyes once again morphing into hearts. 

_“Such a curious phenomenon. I wonder if it's an unusual disease or something…”_

_‘Shut it.’_

"Waaah! Yet another beautif-"

Holding out a hand, you glared at him, "Not a chance. You need to improve your flirt-game before you can try that with me."

"Okaaaaaaaaaaay~"

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose in disdain, "Look, you’re a part of Luffy's crew, right? You ‘cook good meat’ or something?"

At once the hearts disappeared, and a suspicious but curious look appeared on Sanji's face as he began appraising you differently, “What do you know about Luffy."

You paraphrased what happened earlier. 

"So you met Moss-head, huh? And that sure does sound like the captain." He puffed out a line of smoke, "Yeah I'm in his crew, so what do you want?”

"Just to say that firstly you should probably compete in that cooking contest if you’re a cook. The prize is usually a rare fish that should be found in other Blues. And even if you don't enter, the fish market down there is quite a sight. Well worth a-" You paused and poked your head as your temple throbbed. _'Well Mello...it appears that you really are right. We haven’t been this active for years.'_

_“No need to sound so surprised, I am always correct.”_

"What the hell is an Elephant Blue-fin Tuna Fish anyways..."

The cook's eyes widened, "What did you just say?”

Wincing from the headache, you shrugged, "Elephant Blue-fin Tuna, I think." The pain quickly faded and you sweatdropped at the dumbfounded Sanji. "That's a special fish, judging on your reaction, right?"

Nodding, he enthusiastically grasped your hands, "It's sometimes called the Gem of the Ocean, and is often known as a miracle food, but it's found in the South Blue so many cooks here have never seen it."

"Then it's probably the grand prize in the cooking contest,” you mumbled as you gingerly detached yourself. 

He laughed almost too quickly, "Didn't you hear me? It's found in the South Blue, it can't be here," Still smiling, his eyes narrowed, "It can't."

“I don’t see why not.” You shrugged, "We're in Loguetown, you realise. Because we're so close to the entrance to the Grand Line, the currents round here get messed up so we get lots of fish from other Blues. Ask the fishermen down at the market, they'll probably explain it better."

Sanji stood there in shock.

Sighing, you raised an eyebrow, "Look, if you don't believe me, and I think you really should, then let's go. I'll take you to the market, it isn't far." You giggled slightly, "I guess I'll play tour guide just for today."

He frowned, "I'm not really sure if I believe you or not yet. It's...a little much to take in so I will gladly take up your offer uh…" Sanji cocked his head to the side, "I've just realised that you haven't given me your name, mademoiselle." Bowing elegantly, he smiled up at you, "It seems a little unfair considering that you know mine, chérie."

Rolling your eyes, you braced yourself for what was to come, "(y/n)."

"Aaaaah (y/n)-chwan! The name of an angel~" The cook had hearts in his eyes again, and was so agitated that he looked like he was a tornado.

 _'Definitely an unusual disease_.' You grimaced as you sauntered towards the market while Sanji babbled aimlessly about your 'beauty' or something next to you.

_“At least he is harmless.”_

You snorted. 

"Hey is that what I think it is?" You were raised out of your thoughts with a cry from the docks.

Smirking, you raised up an arm in front of Sanji. He ceased his complimenting, raising an eyebrow. You just held a finger to your lips and motioned to the docks. 

"No way! Is that…"

"IT'S AN ELEPHANT BLUE-FIN TUNA!"

The cook's cigarette slowly fell from his mouth, "No way…"

"Well this is going to be the grand prize in the cooking contest, for sure."

Eyes widening mockingly, you clapped your hands to your face, "Oh wooow! No waaay! It looks like I was right. Who'd have thought, huh?" You turned to Sanji, "So you entering that contest now or what?"

_“That was a tad excessive.”_

You stuck out your tongue. 

Sanji slowly span around to gape at you, "How did you…"

Raising a hand to shield yourself, you glanced up at the sun. It was almost one o’clock, "If you want to enter, you should probably get a move on. Entry closes soon."

He nodded as if dazed and started to sprint towards the market place with a childlike grin on his face.

"Oh," your eyes widened and you cupped your hands to yell after him, "forgot to say, if you compete in the cooking contest or not, at some point you should head over to the plaza. I have a feeling that something's about to go down at some point after the contest."

He waved without looking back, "Got it. I do hope to see you again soon, (y/n)-chwan!"

You grinned until he was out of sight, before letting your face darken. _'What was a Vinsmoke of all people doing here?’_

_“In addition, he is on that boy’s crew.”_

You dipped your head before smiling, _‘That smile though...He really doesn’t act like one of them, does he.’_

 _“I suppose not…”_ Mello sighed, or at least a sigh echoed through your thoughts, _“The world would be in a far better state of his entire family acted the same.”_

Finally turning back towards the Gold Roger, you dipped your head in agreement. You look at the cloudless sky and your temple throbbed again, _'Damn, not again.'_ You grinned, _'I guess that just means today's the day you finally come back, huh Mello?'_  

He hummed, _“About time too. I hope you do not take offence, Missy, but I really miss being a physical object.”_

You stretched your arms above your head and giggled loudly, "Anyhow, I guess there's going to be one hell of a storm today."

* * *

 

After you sorted out everything with Raoul and stowed your belongings into what you thought was Luffy’s ship, you started to walk quickly to the plaza. Hurrying down the main high street, you threw on your brown bomber jacket and strapped two leather pouches to your belt. You were late. 

Your suspicions were answered as hordes of people scrambled towards you screaming about pirates in the plaza. "Hell yeah!" You giggled, and started to dash through them, dodging the occasional flailing limb. Finally emerging from the throng, you stood staring up at the execution platform once more and took in the chaos that surrounded it.

Luffy, it seemed, had finally made his way to the top of the platform. However, he didn’t seem as joyful as you would have expected. A fact possibly caused by the stocks that encircled his neck and wrists.

 _‘Ah.’_  

Ignoring the circus rejects that we’re currently ‘threatening’ the stragglers of the civilian stampede, you instead focused on those in command. By your deductions, there were two: a man with a large red nose, and a slim woman who had evidently taken good care of her skin. You wracked your brains for old bounty posters that carpeted the Roger. Identifying Buggy was easy, but it took quite a bit of time to put your finger on Alvida. 

 _'Had she gone on a diet?'_ You whistled in low respect. _‘I need to get in on that food plan.’_

Instinct taking over, you slowly made your way through the hostages and towards the platform. All the while, you kept an ear out to take in the situation.

"To all of my followers,” Buggy stretched out his arms and laughed maniacally, “the hundreds of billions of them around the world. We will now super flashily begin the public execution."

_‘Oh he’s a monologuer. That makes our job easier.’_

_“Precisely. That enables us to listen, and then consider a plan to get the boy ou-.”_

“Yo, Luffy!"

_“MISSY ARE YOU INSANE!? I SAID LISTEN!”_

_‘Eh,’_ you shrugged, _‘I got bored.’_

"Huh," Luffy snapped his head towards you as you sauntered our onto the open, "Oh hey it's you, (y/n)!" He grinned, "See, I got up to the top. Told you I could!"

You opened your mouth to reply only to be halted by cold metal being rammed against your head. 

"Not another step, missy."

Cracking your neck, you sighed wistfully, "Man it’s been a while since I heard someone other than Smokey or the old man call me that. It’s gonna have to take some getting used to." Quickly you whipped out your daggers from their hip pouches and jammed a hilt between the eyes of the pirate behind you. You watched satisfied as he collapsed on the floor, tossing a dagger in the air and deftly catching it, "But I’ll manage somehow."

The pirates openly gaped. Luffy was the first to react, "Awesome! You're really strong!"

"Well duh.” Tilting your head up at him, you placed a hand on your hip “So how about you just ask me already. It's written all over your face."

He sniggered, "You really are magic! So cool!" He closed his eyes, in a fake deliberation. "I have decided," he cried, "you're going to be a part of my crew."

_“Well that is a declarative statement…”_

_‘As if we were going to say no,’_ you pointed a dagger at him, "Count me in, Cap!"

Luffy looked ecstatic for someone in his situation, "Wahoooooooooo! We got a new crewmate!"

"If you are _quite_ finished," Buggy growled, reappearing on top of the platform in...bits…

_‘Devil fruit?’_

_“Devil fruit.”_

 "I will _flashily_ execute Straw-Hat Luffy after my men are done with you, you shameless woman." The madman cackled maniacally. "Today is the day that the world learns to fear Buggy the Clown."

"Oh I’m not so sure about that,” you hummed, foot slinking back into a familiar stance, “You don’t know who you’re up against. I guess it wouldn’t really matter if you did. You’re all gonna get owned, _flashily_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it starts!! Please comment and tell me how I'm doing, I love to hear from you guys as I write-it's so so useful as criticism.
> 
> Edit: 18.08.19
> 
> That feels a lot better...Smoker isn't so out of character anymore...And Mello is as fabulously scathing as normal. Gah I missed this.


	2. Pain Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own One Piece. If I did I would have enough booze to get Zoro drunk.

"Oh I’m not so sure about that,” you hummed, foot slinking back into a familiar stance, “You don’t know who you’re up against. I guess it wouldn’t really matter if you did. You’re all gonna get owned, _flashily_.”

Buggy glared at you, “HEY! THA-THAT’S MY CATCHPHRASE! I AM THE FLASHY ONE HERE!” Coughing gently into his palm, he swiftly gestured to the pirates below him, “Men-”

“Hang on a minute, Buggy. I think I’ll handle this,” Alvida sauntered forward, “If I want Luffy to be mine and mine alone, no pretty female crewmates allowed.”

Luffy raised an eyebrow, “Uuuuh...What’s that supposed to mean?”

Giggling, you span a dagger round a finger, “Daaw, I wanted a challenge…”

Alvida merely smiled sweetly, “I don’t really know what you could do against me, girly, but you’re welcome to try.”

_“Missy, her skin is reflecting light in a peculiar manner.”_

You gritted your teeth, “You have a devil fruit, don’t you.”

She giggled, “Why yes, I ate the smooth-smooth fruit.” She posed provocatively, making her pirate companions as well as some members of the crowd catcall with glee, “It makes my skin gloriously smooth, so smooth that anything just slips off.” Alvida placed a hand on her face, “And most importantly, it made me perfect! It got rid of my freckles!”

You whistled lowly, “And I thought I was clueless sometimes. You were practically a pig on your wanted poster.”

_‘Plan?’_

_“Not yet, I require more information. Make her continue to talk.”_

“Now’s not the time to zone out, little girl,” Alvida purred, gripping her mace, “Someone could get hurt.” She quickly swung her mace down. You calmly took a step to the side and it missed you completely. 

“And who would that be?”

“That remains to be said,” She swung her mace again and you moved out of the way in the same manner. Again. 

“Well, for the record, all you’re doing is a whole lot of missing.” An arched horizontal stroke followed, which you ducked without trouble.

A vein bulged, “Just...keep...still…” she grunted in between swings.

“How about no.”

_“Ahem.”_

_‘Oh right, sorry.’_

You cocked your head questioningly to the side, “Sooo, I’ve been wondering something. How can you hold that mace of yours? If you’re entire body is as delightfully smooth as you say it is surely it should slip out of your grasp.”

Alvida grinned as she smashed down with her mace once more, “The palms of my hands are different to the rest of my gorgeous body. They are still silky smooth, but not so much that I can’t hold things.”

_‘I think I have a plan.’_

Mello thought it over, _“Excellent, that was going to be my suggestion as well. But I need to tell you somethi-“_

“Ooooooh, that makes sense,” you mused from the other side of the crater, “Plus you have that weird circular thing on the end of the mace I suppose.” 

_“Missy…”_

Giggling, you crouched down, “Devil fruits are so weird.” In almost a blur, you cut through the straps of Alvida’s sandals and snatched them up.

_“Please just listen…”_

She collapsed onto the floor, aggravated, “And what exactly did that accomplish?” Her question was soon answered as she attempted to stand. “You clever bitch,” she growled, as she slid back down to the floor, no traction between her ‘gloriously smooth’ skin and the paving. 

_“Missy!”_

“As I said,” you shrugged, dangling her sandals in front of her nose, “devil fruits are weird. But hey, I’ll take the compliment for the moment.” 

_“Excuse me…”_

“(y/n)...” Luffy was looking down at you with stars in his eyes, “That was… so cool!”

_“MISSY!”_

_‘Okay, what is it?’_ Grimacing, you felt the wind whip your loose strands of hair with an increased vigour. _‘Looks like that storm’s here.’_

It was then that the first shockwave of pain hit you.

You gasped, clutching a hand to your chest, _‘Already?!’_

Mello sighed, _“I tried to warn you. Your adrenaline levels dramatically increased, meaning-“_

 _‘You’re coming back early.’_ Your vision went out of focus momentarily. _Is this going to be as bad as getting rid of it?’_

_“...”_

_‘Shit.’_

Buggy cursed, “So you weren’t all talk. I seriously didn’t expect you to beat Alvida...This changes things.”

“It changes nothing,” you giggled, but even to you it sounded breathless and weak, “Imma still gonna...kick your ass.”

_‘When the floor stops swimming.’_

You slashed almost drunkenly at the person who had come up behind you. It was sloppy, and you were inwardly appalled at yourself, but at least you hit him.

“Oh?” Buggy sneered, disconnecting his head to leer right in your face, “It looks like someone’s getting tired.”

Quickly wiping your sweaty forehead with the back of your hand, you moved to slice the very convenient red target. Aiming was getting harder, so something as large as the scarlet nose was appreciated. 

The head somersaulted to the side, “Uh uh uh,” it jeered, “That’s a little rude.”

You snickered, “I try my best.”

“Hmm…” The garish red lips curled into a smile, “I like you. You’ve got spunk, kid. So I, the ever benevolent Buggy, am willing to give you a second chance. All you have to-“

“Not a chance.”

He blinked at you, “I...I’m sorry?”

You raised a weakened eyebrow, “I said ‘not a chance’, you dumbass. I’m not gonna join your crew.”

“I...but...how...HOW DID YOU KNOW?!”

“Oi!” Luffy yelled, “You can’t take my crew mates. I found her first!”

Buggy gritted his teeth, “You see…he’s a complete moron. You’ll do a lot better with me as your captain…”

“Thanks but no thanks.” Leaning forwards, you flicked his large red nose, “Circus-freak-in-drag has never been a good look for me. I have my pride after all.”

“Oh,” Buggy growled, “So that’s how it is, is it?” His head flew back and rejoined his neck, “Just remember that I gave you an out.”

Two goons tossed your daggers out of your grasp and quickly wrestled you to the ground. You tried to resist, but just could not find the strength.

_‘This is so humiliating.’_

Unsheathing a cutlass, the enraged clown brandished it menacingly by Luffy’s neck, “I think after I flashily execute Monkey D Luffy for the crime of being stuck up and making me angry, I will execute you as well for your insolence.”

“Waaaah!!!” Luffy wailed, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M GETTING EXECUTED?!”

“YOU JUST REALISED THAT?”

You would have laughed, but by now you had most of your energy focused on breathing properly. Your entire left side spontaneously ignited into metaphorical flames. 

“I’m so sorry. Really I am. Please spare my life,” Straw-hat deadpanned.

“WHY WOULD I SPARE YOUR LIFE?” Checking his composure once more, Buggy quickly exchanged any surprise for his preferred mocking, “Any last words to your crewmate before you die? She won’t have long left herself, but it’s the thought that counts.”

Luffy’s eyes met yours. You grinned with clenched teeth, beads of sweat trailing down your forehead. His jaw twitched.

“Oh, cat got your tongue?” The clown slammed his foot on Luffy’s head, “That’s alright. Stay quiet or say a few words it doesn’t matter, you’re both still gonna die.”

“LISTEN!” the boy yelled.

And you did. You listened with baited breath. Everyone was.

“I’M THE MAN WHO WILL BE KING OF THE PIRATES!”

At first there was silence, then murmurs rippled around the plaza. You giggled, even though each laugh was a stab to the gut. _‘Oh it’s definitely him.’_

Mello groaned.

Buggy, to your surprise, didn’t seem at all worried at the outburst, “We’re finally getting to the best part of the show,” he sniggered, “Bye bye now!”

“Stop the execution!”

Even though you had met them once, you still recognised their voices.

“NOW!”

_‘Took them long enough.’_

“Sanji! Zoro!”

Zoro smirked, “Luffy you idiot. Guess all that fooling around caught up with ya.”

“Hey guys! Shishi!”

You heard a smack, and at once the force pinning you down vanished.

Sanji offered out his hand to pull you up, “Are you alright, mademoiselle?”

“Peachy,” you mumbled as you used all of your strength to stand yourself on your feet once more.

“Hang on...” You recoiled as a cool hand touched your forehead. “You’re burning up! And you’re really clammy too!”

You grimaced. “I’m fine.” Shoving him away, you slowly shuffled to where your daggers had been discarded. Or at least tried to. Your legs quickly gave out after only one step, which you were secretly relieved about.

It wasn’t fun to walk on flaming knives.

“Like hell you're fine!”

_“He is correct, Missy. If we attempt to fight in this state it is not guaranteed your body will hold out.”_

“I’m not important right now!” You snarled, not really certain who you were answering. “We need to get Luffy down from there.”

“She’s got a point.” Zoro muttered, stepping behind the cook. He frowned up at the platform, “Our captain’s about to get executed. We don’t have time for anything else.”

“But-“

You glared at him, “Go. I’m fine, it’s not anything I can’t deal with. He needs you.”

Sanji reluctantly chomped down on his cigarette, “Fine. But I’m moving you out of the way first.”

Zoro shook his head, “No time. She’s gonna have to fend for herself.”

Buggy’s grin doubled in size, “So you made it Zoro, but you’re just a little bit too late.” He raised his cutlass above his head, preparing to swing.

The two male straw-hats stiffened, “We’ve gotta bring down the platform.”

Alvida sat herself up as best as she could from on the floor, “Ok boys, gettem!”

Zoro and Sanji instantly sprang into action, sprinting towards the oncoming hordes of badly dressed circus performers and meeting them head on. Anyone who attempted to attack the duo were decimated instantly. And yet more of Buggy’s underlings swept to take their place. 

“Hey look, this one’s still here.”

_‘Shit.’_

A cluster of goons wisely decided that fighting either Zoro or Sanji was generally a ‘bad idea’, and so had focused on the enemy who offered the least resistance. 

You.

Sucking in a ragged breath, you considered your options. Could you fight? You tried twitching a finger and instantly bit your tongue to stop the onslaught of curses. Probably not. Could you escape? See above answer. Could you talk your way out-?

_“Not in the slightest.”_

_‘Oi!’_

_“It’s true. You lack any ability of fabricating the truth.”_

Conceding his point, you gulped. What else could you do? The goons were fast approaching, brandishing their weapons gleefully. 

You couldn’t think of anything else. 

 _‘We’re screwed.’_  

A tendril of smoke swiftly wrapped around the ankles of your attackers. With a single fluid movement, and many cries of alarm, you watched them flail around upside down in midair.

_‘I know that technique…’_

Some of the smoke trailed towards you, lilting to the side as if asking for invitation. 

Pausing momentarily, you thought about it. It wasn’t like you had much of a choice. You dipped your head. 

The smoke cautiously wove around your body, slowing or changing direction whenever it felt you flinch. Which, to your chagrin, was quite often. Eventually, you felt yourself get raised from the ground and carried to the side of the plaza. After setting you down as gently as it could, the smoke vanished as swiftly as it had appeared, confident it had left you safely out of harm's way.

You stared blankly at the ongoing violence, _‘Smoker...He’s not going to take the fact that I'm now a pirate well, is he...’_

Mello didn’t reply, knowing it wasn’t really a question. 

A maniacal laugh drew your attention, “Not even the great Zoro can stop me now. There’s nothing you three can do. It’s the end for your captain!”

“BASTARD!”

Using the nearby walls as a prop, you hobbled to your feet, grimacing at Buggy.

“Zoro! Sanji! (y/n)! Usopp! Nami! Sorry,” Monkey D Luffy grinned, “but I’m dead.”

Buggy swung down the cutlass.

And it all seemed to go in slow motion from there.

You could only stand still as a literal pillar of lightning struck the execution platform. All the sounds of combat vanished, but you didn’t know if that was because you tuned them out in order to catch the fizzle of tiny sparks as they pinged off the metal structure… _‘OH SHIT METAL?!’_ As if to prove your point, a once sturdy beam snapped, echoing clangs around the entire city as it ricocheted off the rest of the platform. As it rocked with the wind on the ground, you became immediately more aware with the rhythm of your heart beat, your breathing, your throbbing in your side. And the sudden rush of blue heat as the execution platform of Gold Roger became engulfed in flames. You sank to your knees, the image of a figure silhouetted at the top of the pyre burned into your memory for good.

_‘He can’t be…’_

_“He isn’t… Most likely...We are unable to tell…”_

A sudden scalding wetness fell on your cheeks, but you weren’t at all surprised. You had predicted a storm after all, and it was finally there. Without so much as a rumble of thunder the rain intensified, a drizzle morphing into a torrential downpour within a matter of seconds.

_‘Hot!’_

The additional force of the rain drops proved too much for the execution platform. Wheezing its last breath, it slowly collapsed in on itself in a cloud of dust and sand.

A flash of yellow and red caught your eye. The straw hat was easy to pick out against the dark clouds as it gently floated through the air. Only to be caught in a tanned hand.

“I’m still alive.” Luffy grinned, placing his hat back onto his head, “That’s nice.”

The rain drummed against the stone cobbles.

You slumped backwards, only wincing as your back relaxed against the wall behind you. Sitting like that for a moment, you found that you too were grinning. Chest heaving with suppressed giggles, you shook your head limply, “I dunno what we were expecting really...Why were we so worried…”

 _“Missy…”_ Mello smiled weakly, or at least as much as a voice can smile, _“I...have no answer to that.”_

“-stop talking nonsense.”

Your ears perked up at the approaching noise.

Zoro had grabbed Luffy’s arm, dragging him towards the exit next to you, “We gotta get out of this town.”

“Are you alright mademoiselle?” Sanji knelt down next to you. Somewhere in the chaos he had lost his cigarette, and he didn’t really feel the same without it, “You didn’t strain yourself getting here, did you?”

Wiggling your fingers experimentally, you shrugged, “Well I don’t feel like I’m being crushed by a building, dipped in acid and skewered by billions of red hot pokers anymore. I think I’m good to go.”

His face fell.

“I was being sarcastic,” you rolled your eyes as you got to your feet.

_“No! We genui-”_

You threatened to flick your shoulder.

Mello silenced himself.

Zoro grunted, “Good. Thanks for your help around town, but...” His eyes narrowed as the white uniform of the marines filled the plaza, “we need to get going.” 

“Right,” You smirked, getting to your feet, “It’d suck if we got caught now, being pirates and all.”

Sanji and Zoro blinked at you.

“Uh...Is something wrong?”

“(y/n)’s coming too!” Luffy grinned, wriggling out of Zoro’s grasp. “She’s our new crew mate!”

Sanji’s smile doubled in size, “SHE IS?!”

Zoro smacked him over the head without turning, “Fine. Welcome to the crew. We need to get outta here.” He eyed you suspiciously, “You can’t run.”

You bristled, “Of course I ca-”

“No. You can’t.” Sanji declared, gently wrapping his arms around the small of your back and under your knees. Before almost tossing you into the air as he attempted to lift you into a lift. Thankfully, he managed to catch hold of you before you went flying, but in your state you really didn’t appreciate being thrown at all. “My apologies…” He mumbled incredulously as you glared at him, “But how much do you weigh?”

“Not the time.” Zoro growled, giving the cook a slap across the back, making you wince, “Unless you want to deal with them.”

Glancing over Sanji’s shoulder, you privately agreed. It didn’t really matter how many of Buggy’s men survived the attack; most of the survivors were heading your way. And boy did they look pissed.

“Ah. Shit.”

Your three new crew mates shared the sentiment, and promptly sprinted in the opposite direction...into a line of marines, gun barrels raised. Your eyes flicked up and down the row. The combination of the uniform peaked caps and the heavy rain made it hard to identify anyone in the masses. Your heart sank.

“Stop right there, pirates,” one of them yelled, “and release the hostage!”

Sanji’s arms tightened around you, “If you think for a second that I am _willingly_ going to let go of a sexy woman in my arms,” the speaker found his jaw being stuck with an elegant black shoe, “YOU HAVE A SCREW LOOSE!”

You groaned.

Wordlessly, Zoro sliced through half of the remaining marines as if they were butter. Luffy snickered, throwing his arms behind and stretching…

_‘HANG ON A SECOND, STRETCHING?!’_

The boy’s arms snapped back and forth in rapid succession, creating an impression of multiple limbs that quickly decimated the remaining men in the barricade.

Ignoring the yells of marine reinforcements as your crew mates continued on their way, you giggled at Luffy, “So that’s what’s up with your skin! You’re a devil fruit user.”

He grinned, stretching out his jaw to the side an inhuman amount, “Yup, I ate the gum-gum fruit. Imma rubber man!” Letting go, it snapped to its regular position.

“They called you a hostage and not a pirate...” Zoro mused as his foot entered yet another puddle.

“I guess they hadn’t arrived at the plaza early enough.” You shuddered, “For now I think we’d better keep it that way. Oh take a left here, you’ll get to where you moored your ship faster.”

They all gaped. Sanji flicked his only visible eye down at you, his fringe long since plastered to his skin by the rain, “You know where we left the Merry?”

You deadpanned, “What other ship in the harbour has a pirate flag with a straw hat?”

“OOOOOOOH you’re magic!” Luffy decidedly thumped his fist onto his palm, “You will be our magician.”

“Not magic, Cap. Just observant. Oh, right here.”

Sanji frowned as they rounded the corner, “For once I will have to agree with the moron. You predicted the Elephant Blue-fin Tuna…”

“Plus you seemed to know that something was going to happen in the plaza, way before we did.” Zoro hummed in agreement, before narrowing his eyes at you, “You’re hiding something, aren’t you?”

“Well,” you giggled nervously, eyes flicking to your left shoulder, “I’ll tell you on the Merry. Some secrets...are best left unsaid.”

The swordsman raised an eyebrow, before turning back and giving a curt nod of agreement.

Sanji out of nowhere skipped into the air, “Oh wow, who is that!?”

You grimaced at the figure ahead, heart sinking, “Someone who we really don’t need to run into right now.”

Tashigi had evidently been waiting for some time. Her deep blue hair stuck to her face almost at random, some strands even being glued to her dripping glasses. She didn’t seem to mind though. Her eyes focused on nothing else but the green haired swordsman at your side.

He tensed.

“I didn’t know you were Zoro,” A dead voice murmured amidst the rain, causing you to try and lean forwards to catch what she was actually saying, “and a pirate as well.” Her knuckles tightened around her sword hilt, “You lied. You’re just another liar!”

Sanji made to say something. You elbowed him in the chest.

Walking forwards, the swordsman ignored your interaction, “You never asked me what my name was, so I never lied, did I.”

She gritted her teeth, “You know there is no way I’d let you leave town with such a legendary sword. Give it to me! The Wado Ichimonji! Right now!”

“Come and get it.”

You didn’t even need to see his face to know that he was smirking.

Tapping Sanji’s shoulder, you motioned to the docks, “We need to get going.”

“B-but he can’t fight a woma-”

“I would think very carefully before answering that question if I were you.”

Luffy nodded blankly.

Tashigi growled in agreement, “This is a fight between the two of us. I don’t need any help, so back off.”

“You heard her.” Zoro turned, slowly unsheathing his swords, “Get outta here.”

“If we don’t keep moving they’ll catch us before we get to the Grand Line, Cap.”

That snapped Luffy out of it. “Really? Then let’s go!” He dashed off, Sanji soon following behind.

“Oh, (y/n).” Tashigi grabbed your arm as Sanji passed her. “Don’t worry. Captain Smoker’s going to get you back. He really isn’t happy that you were taken, so just hang on a little longer.” She smiled kindly, but with a sparkle in her eye that made your skin crawl as she let you go, “He’s the angriest I’ve ever seen him. He cares about you a lot, so take good care of him.”

A vein bulged, “FOR THE LAST TIME, WE’RE NOT DATING!” You screamed as Sanji continued to catch up with Luffy.

And then she was out of earshot. You groaned, “Why does no one ever believe me…”

“So you’re not seeing anyone?”

“No. But don’t sound so hopeful.”

Sanji wilted, before running straight into Luffy’s back, “What is it now?!”

“What?” Wiggling out of Sanji’s hold, you sat up and lent around Luffy’s jacket, “I can’t see…” Your jaw tensed.

 _‘What do we do?’_ You groaned, as Captain Smoker got off his Billower Bike.

Mello was silent for a bit, _“You know we had to face him eventually.”_

“Straw-hat Luffy. You’re finally here.” His eyes flicked towards you, “(y/n).”

Oh that tone of voice did not sound good.

“Release her.”

You blinked, _‘Hang on, what?’_

“There’s no way I’m letting go of (y/n)-chwan, you bastard.” Sanji snarled, feet sliding into a combat stance.

Smoker frowned, “Taking advantage of an injured woman as a hostage. Typical pirates.”

“Oh she’s not a hostage,” Luffy said, tilting his head, “She’s our crew mate and friend.”

“As if I believe you.”

You quickly wiggled out of Sanji’s grip and moved to stand beside them.

“(y/n)-chan…”

“It’s cool,” You rolled out the cricks in your neck experimentally, “I’m a lot better than I was earlier.”

Some of the tension left Smoker’s shoulders, “Right, (y/n), now if you just come over here-”

“Sorry, but no.” Your hands made for your side pouches. Empty. Cursing under your breath, you remembered the underlings from earlier. _‘Guess that leaves us no choice.’_

His eyes narrowed, “You don’t mean to tell me...” He trailed off, biting harder on his cigars. “You _can’t_ be a pirate, (y/n).”

“Huh? Whaddya mean she can’t be a pirate?” Luffy glared at the marine captain, “No one ‘can’t’ be a pirate if they really want to be one.”

Sanji grimaced, “That’s for sure.”

“And I already decided she’s on my crew! And she said yeah! So she’s a pirate now whether you like it or not. It’s her choice!”

“You guys make a break for it,” you muttered, “I’ll hold him off.”

Luffy’s eyes flared, “He’s pissed me off! I wanna fight him!” He punched his hand, “Anyone who says someone can’t be a pirate deserves to get his ass beaten!”

“You really don’t expect me to just sit to the side when a lady is about to get harmed _again_ , do you? Because if so I’m offended.”

You bit your lip, “I ne...I need to do this.”

 _“I think the ideal question is_ can _we do this.”_

Sucking in a breath, you gripped the sleeve of your jacket, _‘We have to. He deserves an answer.’_ Before you could change your mind, you slid your bomber jacket off your shoulders and balled it up in your hands. This left the majority of your torso bare to the elements, with only a black tank top for any kind of protection. Not that you needed it anyways.

Sanji gulped, “I...I see. This...changes things...”

You twitched, but not from the sensation of the raindrops on your bare skin. You gripped the rain slickened leather tighter, knowing there was no going back.

_“It’s alright to be sca-”_

“I’m _not_ scared.” You gritted your teeth, “Like hell I’m _scared_.” Sucking in a breath, you tossed your jacket to Sanji. Without looking to see if he caught it, you took a shaky but determined step towards Smoker.

“I don’t understand.” The cook called out from behind, “It’s a tattoo, it’s meant to be permanent. And I swear you didn’t have that...that...THING earlier.”

You rolled your eyes, “So it turns out having a tattoo is a pretty big no-go for trying to hide your identity. Especially one as distinctive as mine. So I just...put it away for a while.” Wincing, you glared at your shoulder, “Hurt like a bitch bringing it back though.”

“I don’t follow...”

A giggle escaped your lips, “Yeah, I guess I wasn’t expecting you to anyways. So do you trust me now when I say I can handle this myself?”

A pause, “Fine. But if he so much as harms a hair on your head, he’s got hell to pay!” Shoving your jacket under his arm, Sanji shot the Marine Captain one final glare before dashing away once more into the rain.

Smoker’s brow tightened momentarily as the blond head was quickly swallowed up by the darkness.

“I take it you’re not leaving, Cap?”

Luffy said nothing, letting the stream of rain falling from his hat be your answer.

“I see.”

“Missy Sai.” Smoker growled, “That’s who you are.”

Your jaw clenched, before you forced a smile onto your face, “Tell me, Smoker. As someone who prides themselves on capturing every criminal who passes through Loguetown, how does it feel to have one of the worst of all sitting right under your nose for three years.”

He grimaced.

“Is it humiliating? Shameful? Humbling?” You took a step forwards, slowly raising your left arm, “Or are you angry instead? I guess I would be, if I were you.”

Smoker clenched his fists.

You giggled, “I don’t really know what I was expecting anyways. I...was always an odd one.” Breathing out, you closed your eyes, “Come forth...Mellontas.”

Although you were expecting it, you still were surprised when your arm convulsed. Using your right arm to stop the shaking, you grimaced as a metallic taste filled your mouth. You’d bit your tongue. A flash of light and a nostalgic weight in your hand told you that you had succeeded. You flickered open your eyes.

A long black handle stretched almost the length of your entire body, before curving seamlessly into a simple blade. You ran your hands over the smooth metal. Plain, but practical. Like he ever was.

The metal hummed, _“Aaaah...Freedom at last!”_

Doing a couple of strikes experimentally, your lips curled into a smile, “It’s been a while...”

“So. You’ve made your choice.”

Cocking your head to the side, you swung Mello onto your shoulders, “Well what do you think? It’s kinda obvious.”

Smoker grimaced, drawing his jitte, “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

“Oh I do.” You sauntered forwards and smiled your most sickening smile, “That is why I need to fight you...right?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 18.08.19
> 
> GAH! So. Much. Better. It's more believable now!! Yaaaaaaaaas! That's a massive thing off my chest.


	3. What's in a dream?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did I would have a large enough army that Usopp wouldn't need to lie.

“So. You’ve made your choice.”

Cocking your head to the side, you swung Mello onto your shoulders, “Well what do you think? It’s kinda obvious.”

Smoker grimaced, drawing his jitte, “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

“Oh I do.” You sauntered forwards and smiled your most sickening smile, “That is why I need to fight you...right?”

His eyes narrowed, “If that’s what it’ll take to knock some sense into you.”

“Woooh!” An arm stretched over to poke the scythe, “That’s so coooool! What sorta sword is that?”

Flicking your captain’s fingers off Mello, you shot him an inquiring glance, “Mind if I take first shot? I need to wrap up this last loose end before I can properly join the crew.”

Luffy snapped back his arm, “Sure! As long as I can beat his ass after.”

“I think I can leave some for you.”

“(y-)...(y/n).” Smoker motioned with his jitte, “Think about this for a moment…”

“Oh c’mon!” You snickered, cocking your head towards him, Did you really think I was your _friend_.” You barked out a coarse laugh, “That’s adorable.”

 _“Missy...What are you trying to achieve, riling him up like that?”_ Mello scoffed, _“You cannot possibly…”_ He groaned, _“Oh what am I saying, of course you think it’s a good idea...”_

Gritting his teeth as best he could around the cigar, Smoker grip tightened around his weapon.

“Well,” You waved your hand vaguely in the air, “Friends, acquaintances, what’s the difference really. Either way you look at it I was using you. And what a convenient tool you were...” Stretching your lips up in what you hoped was a smirk, you kept moving forwards until you stood right in front of him, “Because who would possibly expect the friend of a marine to be one of the world’s biggest monsters.”

Smoker said nothing.

“I’m an assassin, darling.” You stretched up and bopped him on the nose, “Manipulation is part of the game.”

He inclined his head, “Is that really how you feel?”

You didn’t want to answer that. Swinging Mello off your shoulders, you swiped upwards towards his jaw.

“I see.” He stepped back, leaving you to counterbalance your own attack.

_“That was sloppy.”_

Sucking in a breath, you tried to focus, _‘Four years remember? Cut me some slack.’_ This time you attempted an under-leg sweep.

_“That wasn’t what I meant, and you know it.”_

Smoker used his jitte to spin the blade over him.

_“You plagiarised that speech word for word from a transponder sitcom.”_

You gritted your teeth as you used the new leverage to aim a kick to his gut, _‘So what if I did? It’s a good speech.’_

 _“It’s clichéd.”_ The kick connected with a solid thunk.

Smoker remained unphased. Grabbing your leg, he tossed you gently aside.

Using your free hand, you nimbly righted yourself into a flip, “You’re not taking me seriously, Smoker.”

 _“Let’s be honest, who would after_ that _speech.”_

“SHUDDUP!”

Smoker raised an eyebrow, “I haven’t even said my piece yet.”

“Oh.” You’d said that out loud. Your face flushed, turning away.

Giving Smoker a large opening to trap Mello’s handle in his jitte. The two weapons met with a clang, the spurs of Smoker’s either side of your own.

You grimaced, struggling against the hold feebly, even though deep down you knew you were no match in strength for a 6 foot 10 marine.

 _“But yes, that was sloppy.”_ Mello tsked, _“What’s gotten into you? You’re not focusing on this fight like you normally would. Snap out of it!”_

Smoker stormed forwards, driving you backwards until your back hit something solid. You were trapped.

You bit your lip, _‘I could never get anything past you.’_

The metal heated up in your hands, _“No! Do you have any idea how foolish you’re be-”_

Smoker twisted his wrist, emptying your hands in one smooth action.

Your oldest friend, no, your oldest _companion_ clattered to the ground to rest in a dingy puddle.

 _‘It’s quiet.’_ You blinked, not quite registering anything else, _‘Why’s it quiet? Mello?’_

He wasn’t there. The usual hum or sarcastic remark just wasn’t there anymore. You trembled, and would have collapsed if Smoker hadn’t pinned you to the wall. Although this was what you’d planned, you had forgotten how uncomfortable this void was.

Forgotten...or blocked out…

Something trickled down your cheek. Something that wasn’t rain water.

“Now, I’m going to have you try something you’ve never done before,” Smoker growled, “Listen.”

Your eyebrow twitched, but you said nothing.

He took this as an opportunity to continue on, “I came to this town three years ago.”

“Uuuh...Already knew that…”

Smoker glared at you.

“Fine...shutting up now.”

“As I was saying, I came to this town three years ago. I had just finished training, and it was my first assignment as a Captain. Needless to say, I was expected to do a satisfactory job. Therefore,” he glowered, “when I saw a young girl sleeping in a tree almost as soon as I set foot into the harbour, I thought that perhaps some form of correction should be in order.”

“For the last time, _what the hell is wrong with trees_?!”

“ _What the hell is wrong with YOU_?!” He sighed. “Just let me finish…”

You pouted, “But listening is boring.” You couldn’t see out of your left eye now; something murky and black covered it all.

“How old are you?”

“Uuuuh...21, you know that.”

“Then try and act like it, instead of like a child!”

“But _that’s_ boring.”

Shaking his head, Smoker chuckled, “Of course it is...But please, I need to say this.”

Your ears were filling up with something goopy, and a thin line escaped your nose.

_‘I wonder why he hasn’t commented on it, right Mello?’_

Oh, right. Mello was lying in a puddle a couple of meters away.

Watching black rivulets dribble down your face. You wondered why Smoker hadn’t noticed, before noticing the bright lamp behind you. Shadow enveloped your whole face. He must think it was just the rain.

You guessed you had about 15 minutes left, so you gave in, “Fine. I’ll listen.”

“Thank you.” He closed his eyes, and sucked in a breath, “So I try and go up to this girl, to tell her that those trees were the property of the state and were not for...sleeping in. But as I got closer, I got a good look at her face, her hair. It was outdated, but she looked just like the bounty poster for one of the most famous assassins to have ever existed.”

It was so, so hard to not wisecrack back at him. _‘He’s practically asking for it.’_

“I went to grab her, but she slipped away in the crowd.”

_‘I mean...why’s he telling me all this…? I was there for Kronos’ sake.’_

“I chased after her for a week, but she always managed to _barely_ escape my grasp. Always. Just like an assassin.”

You stiffened. Mello had told you not to try and make it subtle…but it was as Smoker said. Your listening skills left something to be desired.

“So the day I finally caught her, I was overjoyed. I had apprehended one of the biggest murderers of all time. I just needed to check for the tattoo on her arm. But she was wearing a long sleeved shirt...”

“It was my favourite shirt you jerk!” You hissed, “And you completely ruined it!”

He coughed, “Yes. Uhh...my apologies for that.”

You tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a huffed shrug, “‘s fine. You bought me a drink, so we’re even.”

“Yeah, you showed me the Gold Roger. It still had customers back then, if I remember correctly.” Smoker shook his head, “But I was impressed by this girl. If she wasn’t an assassin, like I thought, she could make a good marine.”

“Sorry, but being a Marine dog isn’t for me.”

He snorted, “You said that back then too.”

The black liquid filled your mouth as you smiled. The lovely taste of iron. “Yeah...I remember.”

10 minutes.

“Do you remember what you said when I asked you why?”

It was impossible to forget. You grimaced, “‘I don’t like being on a leash’.”

Smoker sighed, and the hands digging into your shoulders weakened slightly. “I’m still not sure quite what you mean, but I know you definitely believe what you’re saying. You hate marines, that much was clear. But there lay the inconsistency.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“You hated marines, but you carried yourself like one. No one else goes through that sort of training, and no one else moves to a fighting stance like that apart from someone trained in the marines. I once accidentally saw you practice some marine drills as well, which cemented the doubt. There you were. An existing oxymoron.”

Grimacing, you tried to raise your head, “So what? I could’ve been an ex-marine.”

“I checked the databases. No marine with your name and appearance has ever been enrolled.”

You fell silent.

“So,” Smoker growled, “I wanted to figure out why. So I kept going to that dingy bar just so I could try and figure this girl out.” He moved closer, and lifted you higher off the ground so the two of you were at eye level. “I never managed my mission, but I found something else. A friend.”

Jaw hanging open, you ignored the trails of viscous liquid dripping from each corner. A friend. He really considered you as a friend.

“And I found out that she couldn’t lie to save her life.”

Oh.

He groaned, taking a hand off you to pinch his nose. Your shoulder slumped down without the support keeping it up, “And seriously? Did you expect me to buy that ridiculous speech earlier.”

You could practically hear Mello cackling.

“I’m not an idiot…(y-)...(y/n). I know why you’re trying to do here. Why you’re deliberately trying to make me angry.”

That was the second time he’d stumbled over your name.

“Assassins, apart from you it seems, are known for their cunning. It would make sense that they could deceive even me to hide their identities. But again, we have an anomaly. How are you an assassin? And more importantly, why?”

You didn’t answer him, letting the rain wash down your face and soak into your skin. It felt like all your secrets were being washed to the surface in that very moment, and you weren’t sure you liked it.

Scratch that, you hated it.

But it needed to be done.

“My life was never mine to begin with.”

Smoker took a step back, and you slid down the wall to rest in a puddle. You were wet enough as it was; you didn’t mind.

“In this world...people get used. Toyed with. That’s how I became an assassin, I wasn’t shown another option.” You sighed wistfully, “I honestly can’t give more than that. If I did, well, you might have half a mind to become a pirate yourself.”

Aggravated teeth gnawed deeper into two cigars, “The hell…?”

“Ohara.” You raised to stare right at him, light finally falling on your face, “Find the truth behind Ohara. And Nico Robin. Then you might have a small glimpse of what your precious World Government is like. And why they hate me.”

Smoker recoiled as you coughed up more of the black liquid. Liquid dribbled out of your right eye.

That meant 5 minutes left, and you were already a little light headed. But you’d get through this. Mello needed to nag you afterwards, after all.

“(y/n)!” Luffy shrieked, clenching his fists. You’d almost forgotten he was there, “What’s happened to your face?!”

“Can I just say thank you Smoker,” You smiled, and instantly regretted it, “For being my first real friend. That meant a lot. Like, _a lot_ a lot. Especially in the early days. The day you showed up, actually, I was so... _so_ close to shutting down completely. But you stayed and actually _talked_ to me. You asked if I wanted to be a marine. You actually wanted to know about what I _wanted_. And when I told you how I felt, you wanted to know why.”

He said nothing, just a dark blur at this point.

You barked out a small laugh, “Kronos that sounds terrible, me making my first friend at 19, but it’s true. You were the first person to ask any of those things. To ask me how I felt. What I liked, what I hated. Hell, at one point you even asked what I thought about the weather. You wanted to know me for _me_. Sure, it might have been for your ‘investigation’, but I…” Your voice hitched as you coughed up more black liquid, “I don’t think I can ever repay you for that.”

“(y/n)! What’s happening, are you sick?!”

You ignored him, “I owe you so much, Smoker. These past 3 years I can confidently say were some of the best in my life. And without that time, I...I...might not be here right now.” You grinned weakly, “So thank you. Thank you so much Smokey, for everything. You’re one of the only decent marine. It was because of you that my dream kept going.”

You sucked in a breath. Lips curling into a smile, you tilted your head back to let the rain fall on your face.

“Y’know...I’ve found after being a barhand for 4 years, I quite liked it. So that’s my dream,” your eyes sparkled dimly, “to open my own bar. But it’s bigger than that. I want to prove to the world that I don’t belong in the box it’s put me in. I want to show that I can do whatever _I_ want. And if anyone has a problem with that, then _screw them_!” You giggled, “I don’t care what they think anymore.”

The rain plinked into the puddle beside you. It was hard to distinguish between puddle and pavement at this point. How long had it been since it had started raining?

Speaking of time…

“Right,” you finally looked down at yourself and the abundance of black liquid on and around you, “It’s about time I stop bleeding out. Cap, can you pass Mello over here please.”

Smoker did a double take, “That black stuff is _your blood_?!”

“Yup. One of the pros of being a literal monster is that your blood is a funky colour.” You tried to move, but just slumped over. “Caaap...the scythe”

“You mean this?” Luffy cocked his head to the side looking slightly guilty. While you were monologuing, he had walked over to Mellontas, and was poking it suspiciously. 

You sighed, but with a smile, “Just give it here.” The blade smashed into the building just to the side of your head. “Thanks.” You placed a hand on the shaft, and Mellontas became black lines once more on your skin. You cricked your neck, the only movement you could manage, “Man, that feels better. I almost died...”

_“Missy…”_

Giggling, you slumped back against the wall, _‘Man it’s good to hear you again…’_

 _“Oh really?”_ He growled, _“Because I am not certain you won’t after I’m through with you.”_

_‘Ah...Shit…’_

_“BECAUSE WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! I MEAN, YOU ADMITTED IT YOURSELF, YOU ALMOST_ DIED _!? SO WHAT IF-”_

“So.” You tried your hardest to ignore the mental screaming going on as Smoker pinched his nose, “you conveniently forgot that you bleed _black_ blood,” he pointedly remarked, “and also that you bleed this much when you let go of your scythe…Which you could have bought up as soon as I knocked it-.”

“Him. Mello gets a bit tetchy whenever anyone calls him an it.”

_“TETCHY?! I’LL SHOW YOU TETCHY!”_

“Knocked...him...away from you. But instead of bringing it up and not losing all this blood, you just...stay quiet?”

You pouted, “I was in a dramatic moment, and kinda...went with it.”

“IT WAS FOR A DRAMATIC EFFECT?!” Smoker grabbed you by the shoulders, shaking you rapidly, “YOU COULD HAVE DIED OF BLOOD LOSS AND YOU WERE HAVING ‘A DRAMATIC MOMENT’?!”

_“I CONCUR!”_

“Smoker...can’t breathe...Cigar smoke...”

He let go.

Dropping to the floor, you sucked in mouthfuls of fresh, clean air.  “Look, I’m not dead, so it’s fine. Even if I can’t move for about 20 minutes.”

“Even if you can’t move…” Groaning, he turned his back to you before sighing, “Well, I honestly can’t say I’m all that surprised come to think of it. You’ve been known to lack brain cells.

You stuck your tongue out.

Smoker shrugged it off, “Just...one last thing. Is (y/n)-”

Nodding, you smiled up at him, “That’s my real name. I think you can understand why I’m done with fake names by this point.”

“I can understand that.” He sighed, “I’m glad you’ve managed to live a,” he coughed, “ _relatively_ crime free life so far.”

You smirked.

“However I cannot condone piracy. Since you’re conveniently unable to move, I just have to deal with Straw-hat to stop you.”

It would be a lie to say you didn’t see this coming, but you’d thought you’d be able to actually _do_ something about it. Like being able to move.

_“AND WHO’S FAULT IS THAT?!”_

_‘Look I’m sorry! You’re giving me a headache!’_

_“A RIGHTLY DESERVED HEADACHE! YOU TRY WATCHING YOUR CHARGE BLEED OUT WHEN YOU’RE SITTING USELESS IN A PUDDLE!”_

_‘Fine, fine I get it.”_

Luffy slowly got to his feet, rainwater dripping down the brim of his hat, “Sorry, but I’m going to enter the grand line. And (y/n)’s coming with me.” He turned to face Smoker, grinning confidently, “Then I’ll become king of the pirates with her and our friends at my side.”

“Enough talk,” Smoker now had a goal he could seriously work towards-and he evidently relished it. Letting his arms dissolve into smoke, he completely enveloped Luffy and thrust him into the air.

Luffy snatched at his bindings aggressively, but the smoke dissipated in his hands. He blinked, surprised, “What’s...what’s happening?”

Smoker, the pillar of politeness, briefly explained the basic mechanics of the plume-plume fruit. Before slamming Luffy to the ground.

“Cap!” You gritted your teeth, very _very_ frustrated that you couldn’t do anything. You felt very useless.

“I am obligated by my position to turn Missy Sai in. I hope you realise that (y/n). I don’t want to, but I have to. But I’m sure that if you’re reasonable then you can get an acquittal-”

“You kidding?!” You snarled, “If you turn me in, I’m _dead_. And you know it! They’re not gonna let me leave Impel Down alive. Oh scratch that, they’d have a party when my execution’s the main event!”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“GUM-GUM GATLING!” Many elongated fists shot towards Smoker.

You would have face-palmed if you could just raise your arms. Mello mentally did.

“Aw crap that’s really gross,” Luffy complained as his arm got stuck halfway through the marine’s face.

He turned to the boy impassively, managing to glare with only one eye. Damn, logia types were annoying, “My turn now. Smoke screen.” The hazy white deftly smashed Luffy into the wall above your head.

“Ok...Gum-gum pistol?” Luffy gulped as his punch, instead of connecting with Smoker’s chest, parted him completely in two.

The marine’s eyes narrowed as the rest of his face filled in, “Don’t you see? You’ve gotta go _through_ me to get to the Grand Line.”

That was a line you’d suggested. You found it hilarious.

But it wasn’t so funny now as Smoker grabbed onto your new captain, “I told you...” he soared into the air, taking Luffy with him, before diving rapidly into the ground on top of him. He sniffed, “You’re not _worth_ 30 million bellies.”

Luffy squirmed, his face getting a very good view of cobblestones and dirt.

“Heh,” Smoker reached for his jitte, “It seems your luck’s run out.” But as his hand gripped the handle, something held him back.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” the cloaked figure rasped.

Your eyes widened as you saw a glimpse of his face during a flash of lightning, “T-target number one!”

He’d appeared out of nowhere. You’d blinked and there he was.

“Hey, what’s going on? Who’s that?” Luffy squirmed, completely unaware of the situation. Smoker dug his head further into the ground.

“How nice,” Smoker glared at Dragon, “now the government can have your head.”

The cloaked head inclined towards you, “I take it you’re (y/n). Moko told me you were residing here.”

“Moko?!” You sagged in relief, “So he’s with you…”

He chuckled grimly, before turning back to Smoker, “As for you, the world is still waiting for our answer.”

_‘Well that’s ominous.’_

As if waiting for the command, the sky turned an eerie shade of pea green.

_“Yes. Ominous is definitely the appropriate word.”_

Out of nowhere, a massive gust of wind picked up. And picked _you_ up. Judging by the sound of screaming to your right and the cursing to your left you weren’t the only one. It was impossible to tell where you were being taken, the streets rocketed by too fast for you to get your bearings, but your journey halted with a sudden collision with a wall to your face. Your nose crunched.

“Ow.”

The fast air pinned you suspended in midair momentarily, but as suddenly as the wind started, it vanished into the torrential rain. Groaning, you slid down the wall onto a pile of debris, wiggling your nose experimentally.

Yup, that was broken.

Luffy sat up instantly. Stupid rubber abilities. “Uuuuh...Can someone tell me what happened?”

A blond head of hair emerged under some smashed up wood, and a green smashed through some solid stone. Sanji and Zoro grimaced with the effort, but were otherwise unscathed.

Smoker was nowhere to be seen.

Something shifted from underneath you, and you found yourself thrown to the side as another person came up for air.

_‘That’s an impressive nose.’_

_“Agreed. Judging by the fact he knows these people, we can safely assume this is Usopp.”_ Mello was still angry with you it seemed. He deliberately kept your head full of an uncomfortable hum that made it difficult to concentrate.

“-uffy!”

That came from the sea. If you squinted, you could just about make out the Merry (you thought they called it the Merry anyway) being tossed by some monstrous waves.

Luffy snapped to attention, “Nami!”

Sanji cursed frantically, “We gotta go-the ship will be gone soon.”

“Uuuuuh...bit of help here please…”

Usopp finally realised that he’d dislodged a person, and glanced towards you. He promptly gave a high pitched screech worthy of a soprano.

You raised an eyebrow, “What?”

Mello sighed _“You do realise that you still have blood dripping out of every facial orifice?”_

_‘Oh yeah I’d forgotten about that…’_

_“And that your nose is broken.”_

_‘...yup.’_

_“And that your blood is a different colour to that of humans.”_

_‘Yeah yeah, rub it in.’_

A pair of arms scooped underneath you, “I’ll ask what in hell’s name happened to you later.” Sanji growled, turning towards their ship, “But right now, we need to get moving.”

“Right.”

At once everyone took off along the shore, following the Merry in it’s manic journey.

Everyone...apart from Luffy.

Glancing over Sanji’s shoulder, you watched him wind up both arms experimentally. Your temple thrummed. Grin stretching from ear to ear, you giggled, “This looks fun!”

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Sanji turned to see what had got you so excited. He stopped in his tracks, “Luffy don’t you dare! We have an injured lady here!”

Luffy leapt up to grab hold of an iron railing, letting his momentum stretch out his body. His very rubber body. “GUM-GUM…”

“WHAT! NO! HE CAN’T!”

A sigh. “I’m not gonna like this.”

Your giggles intensified.

“Oi...you guys...what’s this woman doing he-?”

“ROCKEEET!”

Sanji’s grip on you tightened as a red and yellow blur fired towards you, knocking everyone over the waves and towards the little boat. Various shrieks and yells filled the air as the ground vanished from underneath, until you were stopped by the red and white striped sail and collapsed to the deck. You were stuck underneath all the groaning men, with Luffy’s foot on your face, Zoro’s chest on your legs and Sanji’s head on your back.

“You’re here!” A young girl with brown eyes and orange hair (Nami probably) scrambled forwards, relieved to see the rest of her crew. As you stirred, she raised an eyebrow, “Uh...who are you?”

Still giggling, you instantly shoved off all the groaning males and stuck out a hand. “Oh I’m (y/n).” You grinned, “And I guess I’m a part of the crew now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 18.08.19
> 
> This pleases me. It's not cringy anymore, and gah! I love sassy characters, they're way too much fun to write.
> 
> The problem now is that I've cut out the barrel scene, which is pretty darn big. I couldn't fit it in here, the chapter ended so naturally that I had to just remove it. I'm going to squeeze it into the next chapter once I edit, since that one was a pretty boring one if you ask me. So any new readers out there, sorry about that. It will be fixed...when I have the time.


	4. Explanations and recollections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, I would get fabulous eyebrows like Sanji's.

 The storm had now passed, and everyone had finally recovered from all the crazy running around doing the rigging.

"So your name is Saioney (y/n), huh," Usopp placed his hand on his chin in seriousness. "It is very strange that you have never heard of the great captain Usopp." He nodded, "Yes very strange indeed."

An elongated arm hit him on the head, "I'm the captain, stupid!"

You laughed from where you were sitting on the white railing. "Is it always this fun here?"

Nami placed her head in her hands, "If this is what you call fun, then sure it's fun."

You stiffened as Zoro suddenly walked up to you with a dark look on his face.

Luffy got off Merry's head, "Uuuh, Zoro? What are you doing?"

"As much as I hate to hurt a lady," Sanjo puffed on his cigarette, "this is necessary."

You looked at Zoro's new swords, "That's Yubashiri, right? I'm impressed you got that filthy salesman to part with it. Along with Kitetsu III. Very nice."

"You've got some explaining to do, Missy," he growled.

"Wait…um…when you say Missy…uh… you don't mean..." Usopp started to stammer.

Nami paled, "I thought you were joking earlier..."

"Right," you smiled at Usopp, "you were unconscious when I properly introduced myself earlier." You sighed, "It was kinda obvious though. I look just like my wanted poster. Also, seriously Nami, do I seem the joking type?"

"YES YOU REALLY DO!"

"Oh yeah," Luffy sat down on the deck and started picking his nose, "that smoke-guy called you that. So who is this Missy person?."

You all stared at your captain.

Nami huffed, "Missy Sai was a famous freelance assassin from the Grand Line with a bounty of 200 million bellies when she was just 15. She killed whoever, and whenever she wanted, seemingly at random. Entire islands of people were killed because of her. She disappeared years ago though, everyone thought she had died." She looked at you, "I seriously thought you were joking earlier. It sounded like one massive lie. Does that mean the rest is true?"

You nodded, "Yeah. Everything was true"

Usopp's eyes widened, "Wait, even the seeing into the future stuff?"

"What part of 'everything' don't you understand?"

"NO FREAKING WAY!" He and Luffy leaned towards your face, "THAT'S SO COOL!"

Nami pounded both of them on the head. "Then you really have some explaining to do."

You nodded in resignation, "I'm the assassin known as Missy Sai. However," you looked at the expressions of horror in their faces, "I was not a freelance one. The world government used me to get rid of people they thought would revolt against them. They made it seem like I was killing on my own accord so that people would not ask questions."

"Hang on for a moment, the world government used a 15 year old girl to do their dirty work." Usopp sat down, "That makes no sense. Surely someone older would be better at doing that sorta thing."

"Yeah," Nami chipped in, "Plus that doesn't really explain why you left. If the government was paying you, then why did you decide to vanish?"

"That's the other thing…" you paused for a moment.

_'Should I tell them?'_

_"It would be wise, Missy."_

_'They could become targets…'_

_"You need people you can trust explicitly. Missy, you really should tell them."_

They looked at you expectantly.

"Now you must realise that me telling you this next bit could make you a government target." Your face was serious, "Are you willing to accept that."

Everyone's face looked twelve shades whiter apart from Luffy's, "Shishishi, who cares about the world government anyways? We're pirates. They already hate us."

Zoro stepped back, smirking, "He has a point."

Sanji blew out a line of smoke, "I would do anything for a beautiful mademoiselle, even take on hell itself."

Nami and Usopp gulped.

Usopp puffed out his chest, legs shaking manically, "I am a brave warrior of the sea. I can take the puny world government any day."

Nami laughed weakly, "Luffy seems to have already decided that you are a good person." She walked over and placed a hand on your shoulder, "I guess that means that we should trust you. It's fine…" she sweated, "...we can take on the world government…maybe... "

You smiled broadly, "That really means a lot. Thanks guys." You got off the railing and sat on the deck. "This is information no one other than the government, me and my brothers know. Unless my brothers told other people, but that's unlikely."

"Have you heard about the ancient weapons?"

They all shook their heads.

"This is gonna be tough," you sighed. "I actually don't know much about them myself. All I really know is that they are a series of weapons will incredible destructive power built in the blank century, a period of time where we know nothing about."

"If you don't know much about them, why bring them up?" Zoro frowned.

"Because...I am one..." You tapped your back, "Me and Mellontas make up one third of the ancient weapon Kronos, an ancient weapon only known about by the government."

Sanji's eyes widened, "You're a weapon?"

"Weapon is a bit subjective anyway." You looked at him, "Your legs could be called weapons just as easily. It's more recently that people associate weapons with swords and guns. Mello has a personality and a consciousness just like us and people still tend to call him a weapon."

"But if those weapons were made in the blank century as you say," Nami scratched her head, "doesn't that make you well over 900 years old?"

You laughed, "Nah, I'm only 21. I'll need to ask Mello how old he is. I never really thought about asking…"

_"I'm 21 like you."_

"Aaand he says he's also 21."

Usopp looked confused, "So how are you an ancient weapon if you're only slightly older than us."

You reached for one of your daggers, and pressed the tip of your finger against it. You showed them your bleeding finger, "This stuff. It only activates once every few hundred years of the blood line in a set of triplets born with tattoos of three weapons on their backs. Parelthon the blowgun of past, Enestos the crossbow of present and Mellontas the scythe of future. No prizes for guessing which one I got, but it seems that each weapon gets reborn along with the bearers."

"I think I get it," Nami tapped her fist down in realisation, "Because you were born with Mellontas on your back, you got the third of Kronos that is allocated to the future. So you can see what is going to happen."

"Bingo." You grinned as the cut quickly healed over, "Apart from I can't actively control what I see, unless I meditate for an entire day. Most of the time a word just pops into my head, but sometimes I get an image. I always get a killer headache, though, even just for a single word or image. I also can't tell how far into the future something happens, or necessarily where." You tapped your chin, "Subconsciously I can see what happens to me two or three seconds into the future, but that rises to about ten seconds when my adrenaline goes up."

"YOU'RE SO SMART NAMI-SWAN~<3"

Luffy gasped in realisation, "So you're a mystery woman." Nami hit him.

"So what does this have to do with the world government?" Zoro tilted his head.

You looked down at the deck, "Kronos for some reason is the only ancient weapon the world government knew the location of. The people on my island knew that, and sent my two brothers away as soon as we were born." You hugged yourself. "If someone gathered the three components, we could wipe out the entire Grand Line. Mello thinks that's why Kronos is an organic weapon, so that we can decide what we do for ourselves."

You sniffed, "They were going to send me away too, but the government had found out that Kronos had been reborn. They sent three vice admirals to my island. They ordered the islanders to give me to them. When my people refused…"

Your voice hitched. "They burnt it. They burnt down the entire island, and took me to join the government. I don't think anyone survived."

Zoro looked like he regretted asking. Luffy's face darkened. Nami gasped. Usopp and Sanji just stared at you in horror.

You smiled as tears ran down your face, "One of the joys of Kronos...it gives you a near photographic memory. I can still hear the screaming, even though I was a baby when it happened."

"What did they do with you?" Luffy stared at you darkly.

You wiped your eyes, "They locked me up in a dark room somewhere. I would have gone mad if I didn't have Mello to talk to. When I turned 3, and was able to walk and talk and stuff, they sent me to join one of their intelligence branches where I was told that I was born to kill for the government. I was on 'the side of justice'," you laughed sarcastically.

"I was also told that the people on my home island were evil for hiding us for so long, and that they deserved to die. Even as young as I was, it didn't feel right, but I was 3, how was I supposed to know what justice was. I only found out for certain that I was being used when I was 15. I somehow managed to run away, and then wound up in Loguetown and well, here I am," you smiled broadly.

They stared at you. Luffy stood up.

"I'LL KILL THOSE BASTARDS!" he screamed to the sky, raising his arms.

"I knew that there were some corrupt members of the navy," Sanji gripped his cigarette, eyes narrowed, "but treating a lady like that is despicable."

"And I thought 8 years of Arlong was bad," Nami shivered. "12 years of being forced to kill people...And they burnt down your island in front of you."

Zoro grimaced, "I'm impressed you managed to remain as bright and mischievous as you are, with a past like that." Usopp nodded in a daze.

You giggled, "I probably ended up more than a little bit psycho, but thanks to Mello I remained sane. If I didn't have him, I would have become the government's little puppet ages ago."

_"I want to talk to them."_

Your eyes widened, "Speak of the Devil. Mello wants to talk to you guys."

Usopp's jaw dropped, "I know you said he has a consciousness and all, which I find very hard to believe… BUT HE CAN TALK?"

"Only through me. He can speak to me in my head all the time, but he needs a body to talk to anyone else. Gimme a mo." You shut your eyes and breathed deeply for a moment.

When your eyes flickered open, instead of being (e/c), the irises were completely black. The first thing 'you' did was punch yourself in the face, hard. "You really are an idiot, Missy. That was for almost bleeding out right in front of me." The voice coming out of 'your' mouth was male and gritty.

_'Yeah, my bad. Sorry.'_

The black eyes looked at the crew, "So you are the fools that decided to take Missy on your little adventure. I am Mellontas, or Mello if you prefer. I don't particularly mind." Mello pointed your finger at Luffy, "Boy, this woman has just poured her heart and soul out to you as her Captain. She wants nothing more than to return to the Grand Line and show the world that she is not the monster fate told her to be." The black eyes narrowed, "If you ever decide to use her and hurt her because of her status as an ancient weapon, I will not hesitate to hunt you down and make you suffer."

Luffy laughed, "Now why would I do that? (y/n)'s funny. Plus she's super awesome." His eyes darkened, "If anyone tries to hurt my nakama, I will make them pay."

"You said it!" Sanji clenched his fist in the air, "If anyone so much as touches Nami-swan or (y/n)-swan, they're gonna have to go through me first!"

"I am the brave captain Usopp! I will let them fear my wrath!" His legs shook violently.

Zoro nodded, a hand on his swords.

Nami gave a thumbs up, "She's my fellow girl on this crew. I'll make sure these boys take good care of her."

You choked up inside.

Mello smiled in satisfaction, "Excellent. I can leave her in good hands. But make no mistake, I will be keeping an eye on her after all."

He closed your eyes, and when they reopened they were (e/c) once more. "Thanks you guys!"

Nami laughed, "No worries."

You stood up, "I bought my things onto the ship way before we left, so don't worry about clothing and stuff." You pointed at the tangerine trees, "Who's are those by the way?"

"They're mine. It's 400 belly per tangerine."

"Jeez that's expensive..." you jumped into a tree, quickly untying the box of your things that you had put in there earlier that day. "I was actually wondering if I could sleep in them, if you don't mind. I prefer to be outside, plus I can act on watch because of Mello, who doesn't need sleep."

Nami thought about it.

"I will guard those trees from the rubber idiot with my life."

"You have a deal."

"HEY!"

You grinned, and tossed a bottle to Zoro, "Since you couldn't drink with me at the Roger, Mop-boy, I bought some with me. There's more where that came from, I practically stole most of the store from under Raoul's nose."

He smirked as he caught it one handed and read the label, "You have good taste. Maybe I can finally have a decent drink with someone on this boat."

He moved his arm out the way as Sanji kicked where it used to be, "YOU ARE NOT CORRUPTING (y/n)-CHWAN WITH YOUR FILTHY DRINKING METHODS, MOSS-HEAD!"

"I seem to have been upgraded to 'chwan'. What an honour," you laughed before handing the cook another bottle, "I'm afraid when it comes to cooking spirits, I'm not the best. This was very highly recommended though."

"AW (y/n)-CHWAN YOU WERE THINKING OF ME~<3"

"That kind of flirting does nothing for me, Flirty."

Nami elbowed you and winked, "Better get used to it, 'cause you're here to stay."

You laughed, "That's what I hope!"

* * *

"Nami, shouldn't we reach the Grand Line soon?"

"Well what did you think? We just left Loguetown two days ago," The navigator sighed, "It'll take some time before we get there. Just be patient."

"Kay! Shishishi"

It was a nice balmy temperature, and you seemed to have slotted right into life as a straw-hat pirate. You were lying on one of the branches of the tangerine trees with the sun on your face, "This is nice…"

Suddenly a shout came from Usopp in the crow's nest, "Hey, I see a flock of birds starboard."

"Are you sure?" Luffy looked up from his seat on Merry's head. You had learnt the hard way not to sit on that.

"Yeah, and they're surrounding something. I can't quite make it out, but it's big. I wonder what it is?"

You hopped down and joined everyone on the deck.

"Maybe a fish?"

"Maybe..." Usopp adjusted his goggles, "or...a small boat, a fish, I dunno."

Sanji looked up, "I've heard that it's common for sea birds to flock above fish and even trail them."

"It is?"

"That's right," Sanji smiled, "sounds like lunch to me."

"You said it!" Luffy stretched back his arm, "Gum-gum grab!" His arm shot off towards the flock,

You laughed, "Now that's a stretch."

Sanji smirked, "It never gets old, mademoiselle."

"I caught it!" Luffy grinned, "Now come here!" His arm started to retract. "It feels pretty big!"

You pointed at Zoro, "Does Mop-boy always sleep so long?"

Sanji puffed out a line of smoke, "That Moss-head is always sleeping. Pay him no head, (y/n) my love."

You sighed, "Your flirting still needs work. I just vomited on the inside."

He look pained, "(y/n)-chwan, how could you..." Suddenly he looked up to see Luffy's arm return, "You're reeling in too fast you're gonna-" he dove to the deck.

Out of instinct you lean back enough for the rubber arm to pass right over you, "God I freaking love you, Mello."

_"Don't mention it."_

Zoro wasn't so lucky, and he woke up to see himself fly off the Merry and into the ocean, with a large bruise on his head.

Luffy retracted his arm, "Oh. I'm sorry."

"DUMBASS!" Sanji screamed.

"I'll get Mop-boy," you offered, "it's a nice day for a swim." Since you were in your usual tube top, you just dove off the Merry, and quickly returned with an unconscious swordsman.

"So what was it?" you asked as you climbed over the railing, squeezing out some of the excess water from your hair.

The others were all crowding round Luffy's catch. "It's a little girl," Nami called out.

"Damn, I was starting to get hungry."

"I CAN COOK YOU SOMETHING (y/n)-CHWAN~<3"

"Ooooh Sanji, cook some meat!"

"JUST FOR (y/n)-CHWAN, YOU GLUTTON!"

Nami put a hand on her chin, "Why would someone leave a child out in the middle of the ocean like that...makes no sense..."

* * *

"Wait what is this." Your eyes were sparkling as you took a bite out of the dish Sanji put in front of you.

"That, mademoiselle, is a key-lime tart. For you I used the finest limes, and sweetened it with my never ending love."

"Sanji, where's mine?"

"Shut up and wait, you idiot."

 _'What is this flavour?'_ you asked internally.

_"...It's sugar, Missy…"_

"I love sugar," you said in revelation.

Sanji raised a curly eyebrow as he was stirring the pot, "Wait...have you never had sugar before?"

You shook your head as you shovelled down the rest of the tart, "I was always told that things with sugar in like sweets and puddings tasted disgusting."

Usopp looked horrified, "You have had a monsterous childhood."

"Tell me about it."

Nami placed her head in her hands, "Well who told you that, (y/n)?"

You looked at your left shoulder in anger.

_"Traitor"_

_'You deprived me of sugar until I was 21, you deserve this."_

_"But it truly tastes terrible…"_

_'You're weird, Mello."_

"Mello apparently has an acquired taste…"

The young girl in the holy-looking clothes suddenly sat up and by doing so she headbutted Usopp, who had been watching over her. He fell to the floor.

The girl held her head, "That hurt!"

Nami smiled, "You're awake." The girl turned to her. "That was quicker than I expected. Don't worry, you're alright now."

"Nothing that some grub won't cure. I'm cooking some soup if you're hungry."

She grinned, "Lucky!"

You walked over to the sink and started washing your plate, "I'm guessing you were shipwrecked? In that case, you really are lucky." You grin over your shoulder, "What's your name, kid?"

She bristled, "Before asking a stranger questions, it's polite to give them your name first."

You laughed, "I like her! She'll go far."

Nami winked, "Good point! I'm Nami. The one having a laughing fit is (y/n)."

You waved, "Yo!"

"The chef cooking that delicious smelling soup is Sanji"

"Hi."

Nami gestured to the angry looking swordsman. He had not taken being fished out of the sea well. "That's Zoro. Despite his scowl, he's a good guy."

"Shut up!"

You laughed as you sat down next to him with a bottle of rum and a glass. He perked up as you poured yourself a glass and handed him the rest of the bottle.

"You know me too well for just two days."

"You're an easy read."

"Stop flirting with (y/n)-chwan, you stupid marimo!"

"She's the one flirting with me, pervy cook!"

You giggled. "Can you make me another pudding, Flirty"

"OKAY (y/n)-CHWAN~<3 JUST AFTER THIS~<3"

Nami continued as if nothing happened, "And you've already met the one lying unconscious on the floor, that's Usopp." He twitched, and the girl winced.

"And I'm Luffy," He grinned, "and I'm the captain of this pirate ship."

"Oh well that lasted long," you sighed, swirling your drink.

_"It's to be expected."_

_'I hear you there…'_

The girl looked horrified, "WHAT! PIRATES?!"

"That's right and we're on our way to the Grand Line."

Nami looked confused, "What's wrong?"

Luffy raised an eyebrow, "She isn't moving."

You took a sip, "Well what did you expect. Pirates are normally scary, unlike you brainless idiots." Zoro tried to punch your head, but you dodged with ease.

"So what are we supposed to do with her?" He took a swig from the bottle.

Luffy looked confused, "I dunno. I'll have to think it over. I can deal with this tomorrow."

"Wait...Luffy? Thinking? What has this world come too." You dodged a rubber fist, as Nami and Sanji laughed.

You looked at the little girl, who was still in shock, and noticed the pendent around her neck.

_'Any idea what that is?'_

_"I'm afraid not, Missy."_

You dodged Luffy's second punch absentmindedly.

_'Not sure...but I have a funny feeling about this…'_

_"Me too, Missy...Me too…"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I understand that the first couple of chapters must have been a little on the confusing side, so I really hope this has cleared most of that up. Thank you to those who have already, but please comment, I would love to know how I'm doing so far :)


	5. Hate to say you told them so...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own one piece. If I did, I would be king of the pirates.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

You opened an eye and turned her head towards the direction of the screaming.

' _My guess is that Luffy got caught in the mousetrap right in front of that girl again.'_

" _Agreed. Sanji can handle it, so just go back to sleep, Missy."_

' _Nah, I'm awake now.'_

You hopped out of the tree, and slumped towards the galley. Peering round the door, you smirked as the girl happily slurped down a bowl of soup, a happy smile on her face.

"You're finally smiling," Nami walked in and leant on the door.

"Nami-swan, (y/n)-chwan."

You looked behind you to see Usopp, who was finally conscious, and Zoro, "Okay so there actually is something that can wake you up. I'm impressed." You dodged his punch.

"Luffy are you eating again?" Nami had her angry smile on her face.

"What's wrong, I didn't have much lunch."

"Ha! Are you kidding! You emptied two pots!" Usopp laughed.

Luffy pouted, "I don't remember."

Nami walked over to the girl, in mother-mode once more, and started to talk to her. From what the others had told you, she had a soft spot for motherless girls. You didn't want to ask why.

"Y'know, she does kinda have an evil look…" Zoro tilted his head in mock surprise.

"Well I guess it takes one to know one," you giggled as you pulled his cheek.

"OH TRY ME YOU BI-" Nami glared at him from over the top of the girl's head, and Zoro sweated, "...you bi...scuit?"

You mock pouted, "Sanji, he's flirting with me again."

"YOU FILTHY MOSS-HEAD! GET YOUR PAWS OF MY (y/n)-CHWAN!"

"I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS, MISSY!"

"ONLY IF YOU GET PAST ME, STUPID MARIMO!"

You laughed, proud of your handiwork, as the two of them decked it out in a corner of the room. Nami muttered something about idiots. The girl chuckled nervously.

"If you stick around, you'll see that these pirates are more friendly and fun than scary!" Nami grinned, "I promise."

The girl smiled, evidently relieved, and held out her empty plate, "More please!"

* * *

"Seriously though, what did Apis do here to do this much damage?" Usopp scratched his head as he looked at the ruined galley. The young girl had been taken outside by Nami, and Sanji immediately slumped in the corner grieving over the loss of his kitchen.

"She cooked us lunch," you deadpanned.

The sniper baulked, "I still have no idea how you and Luffy managed to eat that with a straight face."

"I switched my consciousness over to Mello, he likes spicy food."

" _It was really very delicious."_

' _Have I ever told you that you're strange.'_

" _You're one to talk, Missy…"_

"That was more than spicy…" Usopp bought out his tool kit and started to rummage. "I should have put that stuff into my tabasco star…"

You shifted your weight, "So what exactly do you need me here for?"

He jerked his thumb at the cook, "You're worse with kids."

You facepalmed. "I should have seen this coming."

You sat down next to Sanji. He hadn't even lit a cigarette, which was worrying.

"My beautiful kitchen…my pans..." he chewed his unlit cigarette aggressively.

You awkwardly patted him on the back, "Don't worry, Nosey is fixing it up right now."

Black smoke started to billow out of the oven, "SHIT!"

Sanji started to scream in fury and it took all the strength you had to stop him from flying at poor Usopp. Eventually you got him to calm down by telling him that attacking the person who was fixing his beloved kitchen would not fix it sooner.

The cook grumbled as he lit his cigarette, "If you make it worse, Nose-brain…"

Usopp gulped, "Got it."

You walked back outside with Sanji, who said he needed some air. Nami was looking at her map, and Luffy was excitedly asking Apis if her home island really did look like a warship. You focused on her pendent again. It looked like some sort of claw from something. Your temple throbbed, and a word entered your head. Your eyes widened.

"Are you feeling okay, (y/n)?" Sanji looked at you strangely.

You nodded, "Yeah…"

' _I thought Dragonite was a myth.'_

" _I thought so too, Missy."_

"Hey," Zoro roused you from your thoughts, "we've got company!"

You looked out to sea grateful for the distraction, "Ooooh, it seems to be a fleet of marines from branch 8...What does that fatso want?"

He tuned to you, "You know the marine branches."

"Sure do," you squinted hard, but you couldn't see much, "Smokey taught me a bit about the marine hierarchy. Branch 8 is commanded by Commodore Nelson Royale, an obese bastard who apparently only cares about his own sick needs."

Nami looked confused, "But why would the marines dispatch an entire fleet to this area?"

Apis paled, and started to shake.

You facepalmed, "Oh dear lord… Apis when you said you escaped from marines, did you mean from this branch?"

She nodded and started to sob, "I'm sorry..."

Cannonballs started to splash into the water around the Merry.

Usopp came out of the galley screaming, "SOMEONE'S FIRING AT US!"

Apis screamed as the ship rocked from side to side, and Sanji caught her before she fell over.

"Attention pirates!" A marine yelled, "You have trespassed into restricted waters, and are hearby ordered to stop and surrender!"

Usopp sat up, "There's no way we're gonna stop for marines."

"How'd you want to handle this?" Zoro turned to Luffy, "cause I wanna fight 'em."

"Then I say let's fight"

Usopp started to frantically panic.

Suddenly Apis turned to look at some seagulls perched on the railing.

"Apis, what is it?" Sanji knelt by her.

"A wind's coming..."

Nami turned to her in surprise.

The little girl continued, "He says it's a strong one."

The navigator looked up at the sky, "Zoro, lean the sail pointing south. Usopp and Sanji, right rudder full." They started. "GET GOING!"

"Right!"

Luffy stared at Nami, confused, "What's happening?"

You cut in before she could answer, "Nami, are you sure? We're dangerously close to the calm belt. If we get caught there..."

"I know," she shut her eyes, "but it's a risk we'll have to take. As strong as these idiots are, we can't take an entire fleet of marines head on. We'll end up losing no matter how well we fight."

Luffy pouted.

You nodded slowly, "I have a bad feeling about this..."

You clung onto the rigging as a massive gust caught Merry's main sail. Immediately, the boat sped away from the marines.

Usopp and Luffy started to celebrate, thinking that we had gotten away, "HA! I'VE SEEN DEAD SNAILS MOVE FASTER!"

" _It's lucky this ship is so small,"_  Mello mused. " _It means that we have the advantage on speed and mobility."_

You nodded absently, noticing the wind drop to nothing, "Hate to say I told you so…"

Zoro looked at you, "You know something about this, Missy?"

Smirking, you turned to him, "We've entered the calm belt. I hope you're ready to paddle..."

"Why?"

Nami screamed, "We're screwed. THE CALM BELT!"

"I warned you. This is what you get for not taking the advice of someone who can see the future." You spun a dagger on your finger and whistled.

"What's wrong Nami-swan?"

"The clam belt?" Usopp scratched his head.

"What's that?" Luffy tilted his head.

"Not clam, CALM!" you look at the waters below. "It's a band around the Grand Line that never gets wind. But that's not what she's freaking out about. Who wants to get dinner by the way?"

"YOU'RE GOING TO KILL A SEA KING?" Nami fainted into Sanji's outstretched arms.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAA! SEA KINGS?" Usopp jumped into the air waving his arms.

You scratched your head, "Uh yeah? The calm belt is a breeding ground for them. How do you not know this stuff? But as long as there aren't more than, say, two of them, I think I can take 'em."

The boat shook as a shadow appeared underneath. Everyone apart from you looked terrified. You giggled.

' _I've jinxed it haven't I?'_

" _Definitely."_

The Going Merry got lifted by a massive black and white snout. You looked down and whistled, "There seems to be more than two of them down here. This seems fun!"

"Again, I think your definition of fun is warped…" Nami had tears streaming down her face as she clung onto the mast.

"THEY'RE GIGANTIC!" Luffy yelled, looking at a pair of bulging eyes on an odd lizzardish one that were bigger than the Merry.

Zoro and Sanji were shocked into silence. Usopp keeled over.

"Oh yeah...definitely more than two. More like ten."

"HOW ARE YOU SO CALM?" Nami and Apis screamed.

"I come from the Grand Line remember? Stranger things than this happen each day. Besides, do you think screaming was really a good idea in our position"

"A GIANT FROG IS ATTACKING US!" The fact that Luffy of all people was screaming was a little worrying.

The sea king the Merry was resting on shifted slightly, and Apis tumbled towards the gaping mouth.

Luffy stretched out his arm and swung her away towards the top of the ship.

"YOUR ARM! IT'S STRETCHING!"

You facepalmed.

Apis suddenly asked if she could be swung to the nostril of the black and white sea king.

The little girl somehow managed to grab the nose hair of the sea king before Luffy's arm retracted and she crashed into Zoro on the deck. The ship started to rock.

"IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GONNA SNEEZE!" Sanji yelled.

You laughed as Apis gave a thumbs up from where she was sitting in Zoro's lap, "Kid, you rock!"

"GET READY! WE'RE GOING FOR A RIDE!"

Suddenly the deck disappeared from under your feet as the massive sea king sneezed the ship off its snout.

"Oh wow! It feels like we're flying!" Luffy smiled.

"In case you haven't noticed Cap, we are!" you laughed. "Now this is what I've been missing!"

Usopp sobbed in terror as the ship crashed back into the sea. You were squashed to the deck as someone fell on top of you.

Nami sighed in relief, "We're back where we started."

"And there's no sign of the marines either."

"Zoro…get off me…"

"YES GET OFF HER YOU STUPID MARIMO!"

"WHAT WAS THAT YOU PERVY COOK?"

"Quite frankly, you are the perv considering you haven't actually moved off of me yet."

He jumped off in shock.

"Thank you."

"Okay!" Luffy grinned, "Let's set the sails to Warship island!"

* * *

"I can't see a thing."

"Well we can see the fog..."

"Relax, I'm sure we'll come across it any moment now."

"You're so confident, Nami-swan~<3"

"I sure wouldn't side against you." Luffy looked over his shoulder at the navigator.

Sure enough, Warship Island appeared out of the fog. It was no surprise that it reminded you of one of the boats that Smoker showed you. You shrugged on your jacket as the Merry sailed into the port. Not to your surprise, the inhabitants looked hostile towards pirates and gathered round the ship with weapons.

Apis didn't seem phased, "I'm home! Hi everyone!"

The villagers seemed confused as you and the rest of the straw-hats climbed down the rope ladder.

"Hey you, I have a question." Luffy looked menacingly at one of the villagers.

The one in question raised his weapon protectively, "Yeah? What do ya want?"

"You know of any good barbeque restaurants here?"

The villagers stared at him.

Sanji sighed, "At least he's actually asking for once."

You nodded.

Apis was excitedly telling her people how she had escaped from the marines and found us.

"Apis, why were you taken from us in the first place?"

"Yeah, the reason the marines came after you was a mystery."

You muttered softly from behind Apis, "Kid, at some point I think we need to talk."

She looked at you and smiled weakly.

* * *

"How long will they take?" Luffy grinned. Somehow you all had ended in up in Apis' grandpa's house. Bokunen was making pork buns for everyone.

He placed down the wicker basket, "Only about 4 or 5 hours."

"What! I'm so hungry!"

"Bokunen," Nami asked, "Why are the marines after Apis?"

"Apis, do you know why?" The old man turned to his granddaughter.

The girl said she had no idea, a cold sweat running down her face.

"Well then I don't know." He frowned, "Nothing about this old island is special apart from an old legend."

"A legend?" Zoro asked, slumped in a corner.

"Some say the people of this island are descendants of those from Lost Island which sank into the sea thousands of ago. It was also home to the millennial dragons." Your eyes suddenly widened and you stared at Apis. "The bones of these dragons are called Dragonite, or the elixir of immortality."

' _No way…'_

The rest of the crew immediately denounced this theory. You were about to say mention your 'vision', when Apis tugged your sleeve and shook her head.

"There must be something we're overlooking. Maybe the legend holds a clue." Zoro's eyes narrowed.

"Well then we should start at the beginning…"

"Here we go again," Apis groaned quietly as her grandfather droned on about the very first king of lost island. "Let's go."

"Huh?"

"Shhh! Once grandpa starts that story, he goes on forever."

You nodded, and quickly but quietly slipped out of the house with the young girl. Luffy noticed you leave, but he seemed to be more worried about his rumbling stomach.

Apis started to lead you up the mountains, "There was something you wanted to talk about."

"That pendant of yours," your eyes sparkled, "am I right in thinking that it's a claw from a millennial dragon?"

She froze, "How do you know about Grandpa Ryu?"

"No way," you grinned, "they actually exist? Can I meet him?"

Apis nodded slowly, and turned down a small path, "But how…"

"Oh right!" You giggled, "I can see parts of the future!"

She gaped, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

You winked, "Sorry, but the rest is a secret." The girl had stopped at the entrance of a small tunnel. "I'm guessing he's through here. Just to be sure, it is a he right?"

"Yup." Apis crawled through, and you followed her. Eventually it opened up into a massive cave system.

"Woah…" You looked up in awe at the massive beast in front of you. Ryu was mostly grey, with faded green feathers. He opened a yellow eye. "He's beautiful…"

Apis hugged him, "Grandpa Ryu, I'm back, and I bought someone with me." She pointed at you, "This is (y/n). Your secret is safe with her."

He dipped his head, and the little girl smiled, "He says that it is a pleasure to meet you."

You bowed, "It is an honour to meet you" You smiled at Apis, "This makes so much more sense now. You ate a devil fruit."

She nodded, "The whisper-whisper fruit. It lets me talk to animals." She stood up. "Can you take care of him for me? I need to get him some pork buns, but they take a while."

"Wait what."

She dashed out of the cave, "Thanks so much I'll be back soon."

You looked at the dragon, "So I'm on dragon-sitting duty? Sounds dull..." You patted his snout.

Ryu promptly ate your head.

* * *

You giggled as you dodged the dragon's mouth yet again, "This is actually way more fun than I thought it would be."

" _Missy, I do wonder about you sometimes…"_

You ducked under his neck, "You are one senile dragon if you think I'm food."

"Oh good, you're playing with him." Apis wiggled back through the hole with a large bag on her back.

"Playing?"

"Yeah, he says this is the most fun he's had in years." She bought out a pork bun and threw it into Ryu's mouth. He hummed happily.

You leant back on a rock and laughed, "Well the feeling's mutual, buddy. That was an awesome game of tag."

"He resents the senile statement though…" She turned to you and whispered, "despite the fact it's totally true."

You laughed harder.

"Hey Apis. And (y/n) too, so that's where you went." Luffy sauntered into the cave with an angry Nami following.

"Luffy, you're an idiot!"

Apis turned to you, "Why didn't you tell me they were coming?"

You shrugged, "I can only see glimpses of the future, not the entire thing."

"So where did you put all the pork buns?" He stopped and looked at the massive dragon behind you.

"Luffy, what are you gawking at?" Nami walked forwards.

You sighed, "Here we go…"

She stopped as she saw Ryu. Her mouth dropped open.

"AWESOME! IT'S A DRAGON!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love dragons, dragons are awesome...


	6. To Lost Island!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own one piece. If I did, I would have my own millennial dragon.

Usopp's jaw hit the floor. Sanji and Zoro were yet again lost for words.

"Hey you're all here," Apis climbed over Ryu's head.

"Yo!" You raised a hand from where you leant back against Ryu's feathers. You leant down to avoid him from eating you. "You took your sweet time getting the others, Nami."

She ignored you, "Guys, this is one of those millennial dragons that Bokunen was talking about."

"Hey! Let's see if he can fetch!"

"HE'S A DRAGON NOT A PUPPY!"

Sanji dashed over to you, "So this is where you went, my lovely (y/n)-chwan~<3 I panicked when I saw you were no longer by my side; I thought something had happened to you~<3"

""You insult me." You looked into the dragon's massive yellow eye. "It really is a shame Caspar isn't here... He would be more able to tell where Lost Island will re-emerge than us."

Zoro sweatdropped as you absentmindedly dodged Ryu's gaping mouth yet again, "I'm guessing he's the one who can see the past."

You nodded, "In the grand scheme of things, I would be the weakest out of my siblings because of the lack of clarity in my gift. Caspar can see the past of anything he touches, and Moko can see whatever is happening at that moment, no matter where." You tapped your back, "According to Mello that is…"

"H...hang on for a moment," Usopp held up a hand, "what was that about Lost Island?"

Apis slid down Ryu's back, "Grandpa Ryu's certain that it will resurface any day now, but he can no longer remember where." She stroked his head, "It's not his fault, Grandpa's just gotten old and lost the energy to fly. But I have to make sure Grandpa Ryu gets back to his home, no matter what it takes. It's the only way to save him."

The dragon's eye softened, twinkling slightly.

"Anyways this dragon is the reason why the marines have been chasing after Apis." Nami said authoritatively.

You tilted your head, "From what I've heard about Nelson, that sounds about right. He would leap at any chance to become immortal, however slim those chances are."

She nodded, "I bought the rest of you here because Apis needs our help to take him back to his home on Lost Island."

"Are you nuts? In case you forgot, Nami, the marines are after us too! With that blockade we are going to have enough trouble escaping ourselves, let alone with a ginormous dragon!"

"Long-nose is right," you jumped up to avoid Ryu's head, "Especially now, because I have joined your crew after being in hiding for so long. Sorry bout that."

"NOT HELPING!"

"PLEASE LISTEN!" Apis looked imploringly at him, "Grandpa Ryu just wants to go home. Luffy said…"

"Oh no-"

Nami slapped him on the back of the head, "Be quiet. We are helping Apis, no matter what. The problem is that we have no idea where Lost Island is, but the dragon should have migratory instincts which will help us find it."

"Yeah!" Luffy grinned from where he was sitting on top of a rock. "What are we waiting for, let's get going!"

"But Luffy…"

"Don't worry, we'll work it out."

"Zoro!"

"It seems fun!"

"(y/n)!"

Sanji lit his cigarette, "I agree, but first thing's first. How are we supposed to bring our big friend down the mountain and onto the Going Merry?"

Nami smirked, "Easy, we're going to build a cart. One big enough for Grandpa Ryu to ride in."

* * *

You stretched in satisfaction, "Phew...It's been a while." You turned to Zoro, "Fancy some sparring after this whole thing is over?"

He smirked, "Only if you want to get your ass handed to you."

"You're going down, Mop-boy."

"IF YOU SO MUCH AS TOUCH A HAIR ON HER HEAD, FILTHY MARIMO…"

"SHE ASKED FOR IT, YOU SHITTY COOK!"

Luffy and you laughed as the two of them started to fight.

Usopp sweatdropped, "The four of you literally leveled almost an entire forest and you still have energy."

Apis was jumping up and down on the finished cart, "It's so sturdy even Grandpa Ryu couldn't break it!"

Sanji quickly stepped out of his fight, "Speaking of breaking, how are we supposed to get through that marine blockade and back to the ship?"

"I think a little distraction would be in order, right Nami?" You held a hand over your eyes and looked down the slope. "We can't exactly fight with a massive dragon in tow, no offence Ryu."

"You said it." She smirked, "One of us has to go to the harbour, sneak aboard the Going Merry and sail it towards the rear of the island."

"Well…" A brown boot stepped down, "since my good friend Kaya gave us the ship, I should be the one to go."

" _That was way out of character."_

"However, Zoro and (y/n) is coming with me!"

" _I retract that statement."_

The swordsman started, "Me? Why?"

"Damn it Usopp!" You pouted, "You're meaner than Mop-boy…"

"Missy..."

"That's fine by me." Nami declared.

"Great! Nightfall is when we should move out…"

' _What was it you were saying, Mello?'_

" _Be quiet."_

"NO NOW! We're running out of time!" She pointed down the mountain, "Get the ship and bring it to the edge of that cape. The one that looks like your nose."

"Shishishi! Oh that's funny! It does look like his nose!"

Usopp scratched the long nose in question, "Okay, but that still doesn't explain how you're…"

"Leave that to me!" The navigator grinned, "Now get going you three!"

* * *

"GWAH! YOU SEE, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I WANTED TO COME AT NIGHT!"

You made a shushing motion as you looked around the building. A group of marines were patrolling the ground around the Merry. You moved back out of sight and dragged Usopp by his nose.

"We could take them out…" Zoro murmured.

"...but that would raise the alarm before we're even on the Merry," you finished.

He nodded before unsheathing his swords and slicing a drainpipe into three pieces.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

You smirked, "I like your thinking, Mop-boy."

He grimaced as he stuffed one of them into Usopp's open mouth, "Don't call me that…"

"But it suits you," You winked as you picked up the last piece and placed it into your mouth.

His eyes narrowed.

It was easy enough to find a place to swim from, and the pieces of drainpipe allowed you to keep breathing without being seen. Eventually the three of you were behind the Merry. You and Zoro spat out the pipe easily, but the swordsman seemed to have wedged Usopp's pipe firmly down his throat.

"Meet me on the deck," Zoro swam off to where the anchor was.

You used your daggers between the boards on the Merry to lever your way up. You had barely gotten onto the deck when you heard a loud thwack by the anchor.

"Halt!"

Garbled screaming told you that Usopp still hadn't got the pipe out of his mouth. You facepalmed as the marines started to fire.

Zoro winced, "That idiot…"

"The sails!" You pointed.

"On it!"

You sliced away the rope ladder with your dagger, making sure you couldn't be seen. Zoro did the same for the bindings for the mainsail. As it caught the wind, the Merry began to sail away.

"What?"

"There must be another one on board!"

As soon as Usopp climbed the anchor line, you pulled it in and secured it. "This seems to be getting more exciting," you smirked.

"Hoa ca u fi dih ehi-ing!"

" _I translate that to: 'How can you find this exciting?', Missy."_

The sniper turned to see the Merry heading straight for a marine ship, "ZO-HOOOOO!"

You ran below deck to see Zoro pulling the rudder hard to stop the Merry from colliding with the marine ship. It took the both of you to actually make the ship turn, and even then it smashed into the side of the marine vessel. The Going Merry slid alongside the marine ship and sped past the blockade, with the rest of the marines stumbling to pursue you. You and Zoro dashed onto the deck, to check for updates.

You giggled as Usopp finally yanked the pipe out of his mouth, "Oh man, this is fun!"

"YOU ARE CRAZY, (y/n)!"

"Good!" Zoro wiped the sweat off his brow, "Because there will be more of that to come. Now then," he raised his hand above his eyes, "where is that cape?"

"Right in front of you." You pointed to the Usopp-nosed cape Nami mentioned.

"So we turn right…."

"Then we would crash into the island, Mop-boy…"

"Call me that one more time and I swear-"

"All of that aside," Usopp looked from the back of the ship, "in case you haven't noticed we have A MARINE WARSHIP ON OUR TAIL!"

You laughed.

"But seriously, I've been wondering…" The sniper scratched his chin, "Why do you call him Mop-boy. Marimo and Moss-head I can understand, but Mop-boy."

"Oh funny story that." You smirked devilishly at Zoro, "But I think someone would rather keep that story unsaid."

He raised an eyebrow suspiciously, "That is...quite considerate…for you..."

You grinned, "But you know that I have a near-photographic memory, so perhaps some day in the future when you forget, Mop-boy, I can kindly remind you!"

Zoro facepalmed, "I thought as much…"

"You know me well."

"You're an easy read."

"Smooth bastard."

"Psycho bitch."

" _Oh for the love of Kronos stop flirting both of you."_

"I WASN'T FLIRTING THAT TIME YOU STUPID SCYTHE!" you roared out loud, and slapped your back, "YEEEEEEOOOOOOOW THAT HURT!"

Zoro snickered.

Usopp sweatdropped, "Guys...the marines…"

"Right, right." You looked at the marine ship that was suddenly right next to the Merry, "I'm on sails!"

"I'll man the rudder!"

"USOPP PLEASE STOP HIM FROM TOUCHING THAT RUDDER!"

"SHIT! WHO'D KNOW WHERE WE'D END UP!"

"SHUDDUP!"

"Just do what you do best and get rid any cannonballs that come our way."

He seemed to settle for that and the little boat managed to pull ahead of the marine ship. You looked out from the rigging, "That big thing can really move!" You frowned, "But we are right where Nami told us to be, and I don't think she wanted us to invite guests. Nami told us not to, but it looks like we're gonna have to fight."

A cloud of dust coming down the mountain caught your eye. You groaned as you looked closer, and Zoro looked up at you after slicing a stray cannon ball.

"What's wrong?" He followed your line of sight, and his jaw dropped, "Is that witch insane?"

"What is it you guys?" Usopp poked his head out of the cabin, and looked up at the mountain, "GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"DAMN IT NAMI!" you screamed, "I WANTED TO SKATE DOWN THE MOUNTAIN! AND YOU'RE DOING IT WITH A FREAKING DRAGON!"

" _You're being a child, Missy!"_

' _But it looks like so much fun,'_ You pouted.

"THAT MASSIVE CART IS INCOMING AND FAST! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!" Usopp was running in circles crying.

You slid down the rigging, "We'll be fine."

"HOW'RE YOU SO SURE!"

You tapped your back, "That chase raised my adrenaline levels slightly." You turned to look at the pursuing boat, "Now this may sound weird, but I have a hunch that just by chasing us, that warship has done us a favour."

"Makes no sense, but sure." Zoro braced for impact, "I really hope this hunch of yours is right, Missy, because that thing is coming in fast."

The cart with Luffy, Nami, Sanji, Apis and dragon onboard flew over the edge of the cape and over the marine ship below. The unsuspecting marines looked up in panic to see a black shadow break through their main mast and fall onto the water next to the Merry.

Apis and Luffy were laughing hard, and you pouted, "Looks like you guys had an awesome ride..."

Zoro and Usopp just stared at them, "THAT was their plan?"

Apis gave a thumbs up, grinning from ear to ear.

As Usopp ran to secure the cart to the Merry, Zoro looked at the marine ship and smirked. "Looks like your hunch was right, Missy."

You shrugged, "I can't help it if I'm psychic."

Luffy laughed loudly as he stretched himself over to where you were, "YEAH THAT SOUNDS COOL! I HEREBY NAME (y/n) THE SHIP PSYCHO!"

Sanji kicked him with a fiery passion, "(y/n)-CHWAN IS NOT A PSYCHO YOU MORON!"

"Ship psychic…" You smirked, "Sounds a bit pretentious, but hey I'll take it. 'Ship psycho' also would work I guess..."

"You can say that again..."

"Mop-boy, who is it that gives you good booze again? Remind me."

"I'M SHUTTING UP! SHUTTING UP NOW!"

"Luffy!" Nami walked over from the back of the ship, "We're all set and are ready to leave when you want!"

"WHOOP!" He grinned, "On to Lost Island!"

Usopp raised an eyebrow from down on the cart-now-raft, "Oh yeah? And where is that exactly?"

"Hmmm…" Luffy frowned and started to frantically point. "That way. Oooor that way. Maybe it's behind us"

"Are we really going to be okay?" The sniper sweatdropped.

"Guess we have to pick a direction and try it."

"Mop-boy, you of all people are the last person we should ask for navigational advice."

"...shuddup Missy!"

Nami winked, "It's not on any of the charts."

"NAMI-SWAN IS LOVELY EVEN WHEN SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING~<3"

"...that wink was really unnecessary."

Eventually, to everyone's surprise, you all took Zoro's advice and raised the mainsail in a reasonable direction. Grandpa Ryu seemed very comfortable as the makeshift raft rocked side to side above the waves.

Luffy grinned, "We're headed to Lost Island!"

* * *

You nestled into Ryu's feathers and watched the flying fish go by. Surprisingly, Luffy had joined you, saying he wanted to talk more with the dragon. On the ship you could vaguely hear the voices of Nami and Usopp.

"Looking at the maps, there doesn't seem to be any other islands within the vicinity of Warship Island…"

"Oi! Grandpa dragon! Where are we supposed to go?"

You chuckled softly, "You really can pick good nakama, Cap."

"Shishishi, of course!" He slumped himself down next to you.

Ryu shook slightly as he watched the flying fish.

Luffy looked at him directly in the eye, "Hey!"

The dragon closed his eye.

"Looks like he's dozed off again." The rubber man pouted as he stood, before looking up at the Merry.

Nami, Usopp and Zoro frowned.

"Sorry to keep you waiting guys!" Apis ran over to the back of the ship, "Lunch is ready!"

' _Mello, are you ready to switch over?'_

" _Of course I am, I can't let you waste that gloriously spicy food!"_

Everyone apart from Luffy looked worried.

"More of her cooking?"

"I wasn't 'waiting' for this…"

"Hehehe…"

Thankfully for the sake of your tastebuds, Sanji had made the lunch and not the little girl.

"Grandpa Ryu!" Apis carried a heavy pot over to the back railing, "Eat up!"

"Ah! Food!" Luffy stretched out his arms.

"Careful, Cap. It's really hot." You stood.

He ignored you and grabbed the pot, "HOT!"

"I told you…"

The cook glared at Luffy as the pot flew through the air, "YOU DUMBASS!"

The pot landed upside down on the balding patch on Ryu's head. He turned bright red and his eyes opened quickly.

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Apis panicked, "Grandpa Ryu!" She slid down the ropes and onto the raft, running up to the dragon and cleaning off the food from his head.

His yellow eyes were wide open, as if he seemed to be remembering something.

"Are you alright, Grandpa Ryu?" The little girl looked at him worriedly, before her own eyes widening slightly.

"Good grief, you wasted the food I made specially for him."

"You can just make more, right?"

"What have I told you about wasting food?"

Apis stood.

Luffy looked at her, holding the still hot pot with his sandals, "What's up?"

"Lost Island…" She looked up to the deck, "The dragon's nest...is east of Warship Island."

He grinned, "So that's where Lost Island is?"

"Grandpa Ryu just remembered!"

They laughed.

You smirked up to the deck, "Yo guys! We know where Lost Island is!"

"It's to the east of Warship Island!"

"Grandpa Ryu just said so!"

"Just like that!"

Nami grinned and started to bark orders at Usopp.

"Now this is exciting and all, but one thing is more important…" You looked up to the cook, "Flirty! You mentioned lunch a while back. Do I get anything?"

"Of course (y/n)-chwan! I specially made you and Nami-swan some tangerine dumplings sweetened by my love~<3!"

"SWEET!" You climbed up the ropes connecting the raft to the Merry like a monkey. Happily taking a dumpling, you ate it while hanging upside down, "So good!"

" _Would you do anything to satisfy your sweet tooth, Missy?"_

' _Yes.'_

"You'd better eat all of that, Luffy!"

"Sure!" He gobbled it all down in one bite, before stretching over to the Merry. Apis grabbed hold of him after hugging the dragon tightly, and together they zipped onto the deck.

You quickly finished your dumplings and handed back the plate, "Those were so good, thanks so much, Sanji!"

"(y/n)-CHWAN CALLED ME BY MY NAME! IT SOUNDS SO SEXY WHEN SHE SAYS IT~<3"

"Hey pervy cook, where's mine?"

"In the toilet where it belongs, stupid marimo!"

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

You slid back down the rope onto the raft.

Luffy looked down at you and tilted his head, "You sure you're okay down there by yourself, (y/n)?"

You smirked as you snuggled back against Ryu's feathers. _'Man, these are comfy.'_ "I'm fine, Cap. Besides, someone needs to guard Gramps here." You dodged the large snout that had been aiming for your head.

Luffy smiled, "Well if you're sure." He zipped off to his seat at the front of the ship. Apis waved goodbye as she ran off to help Sanji in the kitchen.

When everyone was out of sight, you frowned. "Hey Gramps…"

He turned his large yellow eye to look at you.

"Why haven't you told Apis."

His eye widened.

"Yeah, I know." You sighed, "you're going to die soon, aren't you. I can tell your future stops pretty soon, so you can't deny it. One of the many perks of being a living time weapon."

He sniffed.

You looked at him, "I haven't told anyone yet because they would want to tell Apis, and you don't want her to worry, right?" You moved your hands behind your head, "But I really don't like hiding things from my crew. I think you should tell her."

Ryu stiffened.

You chuckled softly, "Yeah...on second thought don't do that. She would completely freak out."

He snorted.

The girl in question skipped out and started to animatedly talk to Ryu about how they were almost there. You eyed the dragon warningly, before tuning out of their conversation.

Apis stopped suddenly and tilted her head, "That's silly, saying thanks already! We're not even there yet!"

The dragon narrowed his eyes.

A shadow on the horizon caught your eye, and you stood up, "So the marines caught up to us, huh." You raised your left arm, "Mellontas."

" _On it."_

He appeared in a flash. You gripped him tightly.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Nami's scream made you look down to the front of the ship. Your eyes widened.

"NO FREAKING WAY!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm just going to leave it there...


	7. Sicko-sicko Whirlwind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, I would hug Chopper for a very, very long time.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Nami's scream made you look down to the front of the ship. Your eyes widened.

"NO FREAKING WAY!"

It looked as if the Going Merry was being reflected in a mirror. But a mirror that wasn't really there, so the ship was sailing into itself.

Your jaw dropped, "THAT'S AWESOME!"

You could feel Mello wince in your hand, " _Really Missy. You're missing the point here."_

Eventually the entire ship had passed through, and you were left with a reflection of yourself and Ryu on the raft. Even the dragon looked shocked. You did what any sane person would do and waved at yourself.

" _Missy, you look like an idiot."_

After you passed through the 'mirror', you were met with thick white fog. Sanji called out from inside the galley, "(y/n)-chan, what happened? From the way even you were screaming, I thought it was something important."

"Big. Ass. Mirror."

"Huh?"

You looked at Mello, ' _Do you have a bad feeling about this, or is it just me?'_

" _It's not just you Missy."_

Suddenly storm clouds formed from almost nothing overhead. It started to rain heavily, and the boat rocked from side to side. You heard screaming and curses from on the Merry. A large wave hit, and you could see the ropes holding the raft to the boat start to unwind.

' _I hate it when I'm right.'_

You pointed Mello's blade towards the Merry, "Mellontas, Grapple!"

" _On it."_

Mello's shaft extended until it was long enough for the blade to hook over the Merry's railing. The blade became blunt, and slightly curved itself under the railing. You took out one of your daggers and stabbed it hard into the raft to make sure you wouldn't be separated.

"Gramps! Keep a hold on me!"

The old dragon bit your torso, hard.

You giggled, "Well I guess that's one way…"

"GRANDPA RYU!" Apis stumbled over to the bow and saw the ropes start to unravel. She tried to hold on to one, but it cut right through her hands, "NO!"

"Apis, I've got this!" You groaned as you used most of your strength to keep both Mello and your dagger from slipping out of your hands. A lightning bolt hit the water nearby, "Shit…"

Zoro took hold the rope from behind Apis and managed to slow the slipping. He then side stepped in an arc and grabbed the second rope. He winced with the effort.

"GRANDPA RYU! NO DON'T SAY THAT!" Apis wailed, "WE'LL BEAT THIS YET! YOU CAN'T GIVE UP NOW!"

"Yeah!" You laughed, "I'm stuffed if I let go now."

"You...ugh...really are a...psycho..."

"And a very happy one too!"

" _MISSY…."_

"GUM GUM...LASSO!"

"It took you long enough, Cap." You giggled as a rubber arm took hold of the back of the raft. The strain in your upper arms started to decrease.

"Luffy…"

"I'm fine! Leave it to me!" He wrapped his other arm many times around the mast, "I promised to take you to the dragon's nest, didn't I?"

Apis smiled, "Right."

* * *

"So that storm surrounds the whole island, huh?" Nami put her hand on her chin, "almost like it's to prevent people from entering."

"I'll say…" You recalled Mello onto your back with another flash of light. Stretching your arms you giggled, "I almost died! That was fun!"

"HOW COULD YOU LET (y/n)-CHWAN GET THAT CLOSE TO DEATH, FILTHY MOSS-HEAD!"

"DO YOU HEAR HER LAUGHING, DEAD-BEAT COOK? I THINK SHE'S FINE!"

Nami hit both of them on the head before continuing as if nothing happened, "Until now, no one has ever been able to find this place. Must have been because of that storm."

"Ya know what?" Luffy tilted his head, "instead of an island, it looks like a castle sitting on the sea."

"Hey! Look at that," Usopp pointed to some sinking stonework, "doesn't that look like the shape of a dragon?" He laughed, "This really must be the island of the Millennial Dragons."

Luffy grinned, "Those dragons were pretty slick!"

Sanji hit him, "You idiot, obviously humans built this."

"Well, whoever built it," Zoro yawned, "they sure aren't here now."

"It's not here," you say decisively.

Apis turned to you, "It must be here." A bird landed on her arm and she listened attentively, "You see. He says there's a building at the top of the mountain with a dragon mark on it. IT MUST BE HERE!"

"This is not the dragon's nest."

Zoro turned to you, "Another hunch?"

You nodded, "I really don't think this island is the place." You looked at Ryu out of the corner of your eyes.

The dragon snorted.

"I mean look at the size of Gramps here. We can only see some of the buildings, but the general layout of the town seems too small for dragons of his size to have lived here." You hopped to the shore, "I don't know what this place is, but my gut is telling me that this isn't the dragon's nest." You turned to Nami, "I can do a quick recon of the place if you want to be certain."

"That would be great." She looked up to the building Apis mentioned, "It would suck if we had to go all the way up there for nothing."

You nodded, and turned to Zoro, Sanji and Luffy, "Do two of you want to come with me? We have no idea who or what is out there, but someone should stay with these guys."

"OF COURSE (y/n)-CHWAN! I'LL PROTECT YOU!"

"WAHOOOO! ADVENTURE!"

Zoro shrugged, "Yeah, I'll stay. I could use a nap after that storm." And with that he sat down on the deck and fell asleep.

"Excellent," Nami turned to Usopp as Luffy and Sanji joined you on the shore, "We should move the Merry to somewhere less conspicuous. We have no idea if the marines followed us through that storm."

"But won't that make it harder for the others to find us?"

"Don't worry about that." You summoned Mello, and looked at Luffy and Sanji, "You two need to hold on to me...not there Flirty you perv...and Cap I can't see if you hold onto my head...And there we go! Now keep still." You placed the base of Mello's shaft on the ground, "Mellontas, Extend!"

To everyone's amazement, Mello's shaft started to get longer and he carried the three of you up into the air.

"Wooooooah!" Luffy held onto his hat, "That's so cool!"

Sanji's eyes widened as the crew started to shrink underneath you, "How high can...he... go?"

You thought for a moment, "Well, I don't weigh that much so when it's just me he can extend about 1500 feet or 500 meters. Since he's got the two of you as well, it would only be, I'd say, a quarter of that." You winced, "If I try to push it, I start bleeding all over the place."

"So that's why you were so light when I carried you in Loguetown," Sanji seemed to be trying to ignore the last part, "So how are we going to get to that building from up here?"

"Shishishi, like this!" Luffy leaned forwards and the three of you started to fall towards the ground.

"Haha! Bingo!" You giggled at the look on Sanji's face, "Mellontas, Retract and Extend!" The end of the shaft did just that, and you started to rise above the ground in an arc before you reached the top and started to fall again. After several cycles of this, you were at the front of the building outside an ornately decorated door.

"You see, that didn't take long now did it!" You laughed.

Sanji hastily lit his cigarette, "I'm never thought I'd say this, but I almost preferred the rubber slingshot…."

Luffy walked up to the door, "So, how do we get in?"

You pointed to hole, "Isn't that shaped like Apis' pendent?"

Sanji groaned, "Please don't say we have to go back…"

The floor underneath you suddenly collapsed, and the three of you started to fall.

"Shit not again!"

"Mello, HELP!"

" _I'm on it!"_

The scythe extended until he touched something solid, and then retracted, giving you a gentle descent.

Sanji rubbed his back as your feet touched the floor, "As much as I am glad you are alright, (y/n)-chan, could you have helped the rest of us instead."

"Well, I did literally scream for help." You hugged Mello, "He was focusing on keeping me safe, so he couldn't really help anyone else. Besides, you and Cap seem fine, so it doesn't really matter. MELLO I FREAKING LOVE YOU!"

" _Any time Missy."_

"I never thought that I would be jealous of a weapon, but many views of mine have already been changed today so what the heck." He dusted himself off.

Luffy was obviously fine because of his devil fruit powers. He was looking at the ceiling in awe, "What's that?"

You looked up. Above you was a painting. You squinted, and could just about make out the outlines of dragons, "I'm gonna take a look. Mellontas…" He extended to the ceiling before you could finish and you balanced on the top of the blade.

Luffy stretched his arm around your waist and zipped up beside you, "Your weird sword is so cool!"

" _I'm a scythe, imbecile."_

He grinned, "Ooh!" He pointed to one, "That one looks like Warship Island!"

You followed his finger, "Oh yeah. And...is that a dragon painted on top of it?"

"Seems so," Sanji yelled from below you, "LUFFY IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO (y/n)-CHWAN I WILL NOT MAKE YOU ANY MEAT FOR A WEEK!"

"Awwwwww…..wait what sort of things would I do to (y/n)?"

"Let's concentrate please!"

"(y/n)-CHWAN IS SO SEXY WHEN SHE'S AUTHORITATIVE~<3"

You shook your head in disbelief, before you saw a painting which looked like the building you had just fallen into, "I've got it!" You retracted Mello, and you and Luffy walked over to Sanji.

"Well?" Luffy grinned, "Do you know where the dragon's nest is?"

"Yeah...Nami's not going to like this…" You shuddered at the thought, "It's back towards Warship Island. That's what the map says, anyways."

He scratched his head, "I didn't see a map anywhere."

You pointed up.

"So the ceiling's a map…" Sanji smirked, "Very smart, mademoiselle."

"Thank you." You pointed to the painting that looked like a building, "That island that has a dome shaped building on it, that's this island. And this building is that dome."

"It certainly does look that way."

"Therefore, the people surrounding the island are probably Apis' ancestors who lived here long ago."

"Luffy," Sanji's eyes widened in realisation, "Do you remember what Grandpa Bokunen said?"

"Nope. I was asleep."

"Right...well he said that the people of Warship Island came from a different island, remember?"

"Yeah, I think that's probably here. We saw statues and drawings here and there when we docked. So... I think the people on this island worshipped the Millennial Dragons as gods."

"Long ago, the Millennial Dragons probably flew round here." Sanji seemed to know where you were getting at.

Luffy tilted his head, "Then why did you say that the dragon's nest is near Warship Island?"

"That's simple," Sanji smirked as he puffed out a line of smoke, "there's a painting of Warship Island with a dragon on it. It's drawn ahead of the people who are worshipping, right (y/n)-chwan?"

You gave a thumbs up, "I think we make a great team, Flirty."

"You had done most of the work for me, (y/n)-chwan. You're so smart~<3"

" _Someone's coming."_

You gripped Mello tightly, and Luffy stiffened, "Up there."

A man with ridiculous blue-purple hair and shades stared down at you, "Many thanks for the explanation. For now I know where the dragon's nest is." He grinned, "I had hoped to find the dragonite here, but I will just have to settle for your corpses."

"Oh you again!" Luffy gritted his teeth.

"Be careful," Sanji warned, "His name is Eric, and he said something about having the sickle-sickle fruit."

"Thanks for the info." You got into a combat position with Mello, "I'll hold him off, you guys warn the others." You turn around and smirk, "I'll be back later."

He grinned, "Gotcha."

"No way!" Sanji growled, "I AM NOT LETTING YOU HURT (y/n)-CHWAN!"

"No exit...Time to make one" Luffy grabbed the babbling cook and ran at the wall. To your shock it broke. Luffy stopped to look at a bit of ceiling that had collapsed on the floor.

"You're not getting away that easily," Eric jumped down, and you blocked him with Mello's shaft.

"Move it you two!"

Luffy grinned, "See ya back on the ship!" and he jumped off the ledge with a still struggling Sanji.

"Was it really wise to leave me to a mere woman." Eric smirked, "Sickle-sickle whirlwind!"

You dodged so that the attack was no longer lethal, but you could feel your cheek sting slightly. Eric came at you again with his fingernails, which you blocked with Mello.

"I see...black blood," he tilted his head, "so you must be one of the Saioney triplets." He smirked, "Selling you off to the government will fetch me billions!"

"Shit!" You span out of the way of his fingernails, and slashed him across the back of his right arm.

" _You don't have much time, cut a leg next"_

' _Right!'_

"You bitch!" He sent another whirlwind in your direction, which you avoided completely. You sliced along the back of his knee. He cried out in pain and dropped to one knee.

"A mere woman, really?" You smirked and took this chance to make your escape, jumping out of the hole Luffy had created.

You landed on a thick vine, and had to wave your arms to keep your balance. You laughed as you started to pick up speed, "Now this is fun!" You looked around for a bit to try and find the Merry.

" _To the left!"_

' _I see it, thanks.'_

You jumped on and off vines as you made your way over, finally using Mello's extended form to land on the deck.

"(y/n)-CHWAN!" You had barely recalled Mello when you were rugby tackled to the ground by a curly browed cook, "I was so worried, I'm really glad you're al-" He stopped as he noticed the cut on your cheek, "THAT BASTARD IS GOING TO PAY!" The flames of fiery passion had been lit in his eyes.

"Chill out, I'm fine. Let's get moving," You looked up at Nami from on the floor, "Did they tell you what we found?"

She nodded, "Thanks for doing that by the way. You saved us a lot of trouble"

"Nah it was fine. That bastard is going to have a little bit more trouble chasing after us, and I would have done worse if that storm hadn't hit us. Now if you don't mind," you leant up against a wall, "I haven't used Mello for 6 years, and I'm exhausted." A fact you proved by promptly falling asleep.

* * *

You woke up to hear the sounds of cannons firing. "What's going on?"

" _It seems Commodore Nelson has appeared and deployed his Crane Wing Formation."_

' _What? Why didn't you wake me?'_

" _You needed your sleep."_

' _MY CREW NEEDS MY HELP!'_

A loud crash made you run to the stern of the Merry. Usopp had spectacularly destroyed the main cannon on Nelson's flag ship. "Woah, nice one!"

"Well that's what they get when the great Usopp gets serious!"

"This is perfect, (y/n)'s awake and we have the perfect opportunity," Nami walked up with her hands on her hips, "We'll attack quickly while they're distracted, cut the chains, and make ourselves an escape route."

"Aye, Nami-swan."

Zoro grimaced, "You do realise I can't cut steel, right?"

"It's fine," you smirked, "As much as Nelson wants those chains to be solid steel, they're nowhere near. Even my daggers can cut through them if I concentrate, and I'm no swordsman. This is the East Blue after all, most of the resources get diverted to the Grand Line where they're needed. As long as people believe these chains are solid steel, they serve their purpose."

He grinned, "Nice…Luffy!"

"Right!" He stretched back his arm, "Gum-gum bridge!" His arm grabbed hold of a marine ship, and you, Zoro and Sanji ran over.

As soon as your feet touched the ship, you were slammed to the wall by the arrival of your captain.

"Shishishi! Sorry (y/n)"

"Watch your aim next time," you rubbed your head as you walked over to one of the four chains strung between the neighbouring marine ships.

"Shall we, Mop-boy?"

"When you've finished taking your sweet time, Missy," he smirked.

Sanji puffed on his cigarette, "We'll make sure you don't get disturbed, (y/n)-chwan."

"Shishishi!"

They ran of to deal with the large numbers of marines that were pouring onto the deck.

You span your daggers and breathed deeply as you closed your left eye. When it reopened, your eye was black, "Time Stealer!" You cut with both daggers in quick succession, and the chain fell away from the ship. A crash next to you told you Zoro had managed his just fine.

You laughed, "So much for 'solid steel', eh?"

He shook his head, "You were right, that was nothing. What's with the eye?"

"Just, y'know, Kronos stuff. Onto the next two."

He smirked, "Of course."

The next two were cut as easily as the first, and soon all the chains were cut. The Merry was just about to pass through when a whirlwind hit the boat. "Shit!" you started to slice the remaining marines with your dagger. Sanji and Luffy had done a really good job, but there were still a lot of grunts left. When you had a moment, you took a quick glance at the Merry.

Eric was standing in a little row boat, "Shut up and hand him over!" You were pleased to see that he was limping a little and favouring his left hand.

Apis stood in front of Ryu, "NO!"

"What's up?" You, Sanji and Zoro had finished already. Luffy walked over to the three you.

"Him again," Sanji frowned. "I'll kill the bastard for harming (y/n)-chan!"

You decided not to mention that the small cut had healed a while ago.

"Huh? What's he doing?"

Zoro grimaced, "Looks like he's holding Apis hostage to steal the dragon."

"That's bad!"

"But if punch him now, Cap, he'll use his devil fruit power to kill Apis and the others." You twirled a dagger on your finger, "I have plenty of energy now to deal with the bastard…"

"I see. I got it."

You raised an eyebrow.

"Then I'll kick him."

Zoro hit him on the head.

There was very little the four of you could do as you watched Ryu and Apis get towed away by Eric. What you were not expecting, was for him to betray Commodore Nelson, who promptly started firing cannons at the rowboat and raft. This angered Apis, who bit Eric's hand. He slapped her, and she fell into the boat.

You winced, "Not a wise move, considering who's right behind him."

Luffy nodded, "Yeah, he's angry."

The Millennial Dragon stood up, and you watched the marines who were manning the boat jump into the sea.

"Cowards…" Zoro smirked.

Sanji kicked a marine that was cowering behind you, "I think anyone would be scared of that thing when it's pissed."

The dragon sent Eric flying with just a single hit. Cannon balls kept falling into the water surrounding the raft. The dragon looked down at the unconscious girl. His eyes narrowed, he stood on his hind legs, and roared.

"Sweet mother of Kronos!" You clapped your hands over your ears.

Zoro and Sanji both groaned their agreement as they did the same.

Luffy stuck his fingers in his ears, "Grandpa Ryu sure can roar…"

The marine boats trembled, and waves spread out from the raft. Even the chains started to vibrate from the sheer force of the sound.

"I think that's an understatement, Cap!"

Eventually, Ryu fell silent, and looked down at Apis, who had regained consciousness. He nuzzled her as she hugged him excitedly.

You looked at Luffy, "We need to get rid of the cannons on the other ships ASAP! We can't let them hit Ryu!"

"Right!" He stretched his arm over to the other ship and grabbed your waist with the other, "Let's gooooo!"

"Mop-boy, Flirty! I wonder which of you can destroy the most cannons in a minute?" You laughed at their competitive expressions as Luffy retracted his arm and the two of you flew into the other ship.

"What was that for, (y/n)? I think I can destroy more cannons then both of them!" He pouted stupidly.

You smirked, "I was just increasing the number of cannons that get destroyed...I hope. It could backfire terribly…" You looked at your captain, "I think we can beat them though!"

"Shishishi!"

Many Time Stealers and destroyed cannons later, and you were breathing deeply, blood dribbling down from your left eye.

You giggled, "Now this is what I've been missing!"

" _I really worry about you sometimes, Missy…"_

The marines cowered before you, "She's bleeding...b...buh...BLACK BLOOD! SHE'S A MONSTER!"

"A...UH...AND SHE HAS...A SCYTHE TATTOO!"

"BUT I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD!"

Pouting, you sauntered towards them, giggling a little, "A monster you say? Tell me something I don't know!" You leered at them, "I am the ghost of Missy Sai after all."

They all screamed like little girls and jumped overboard. You huffed, "I can't believe they bought that. What sort of people become marines nowadays?"

" _Nicely done Missy. I think you can leave the rest to the boys. You can't really catch up with them at this rate. "_

' _My thoughts exactly, Mello.'_

You watched as Ryu took a few flaps of his wings. Your jaw dropped, "No way…"

" _He's preparing to die… I can see it in his eyes..."_  Even Mello was awestruck.

You nodded absentmindedly as the great beast managed to take off from the raft. He hovered in the air for a bit, before turning to Nelson's flagship.

You raised your left arm, "Mellontas…" The scythe appeared, and you pointed the blade towards the Merry.

' _Think you can get me back?'_

" _What do you take me for, Missy?"_

"Mellontas, Grapple and Retract!" Mello looped his blade around the railing of the Merry and pulled you towards it.

"Are you two ok?" Recalling Mello, you walked over to Nami and Usopp.

The sniper sweatdropped, "Bleeding from one eye is creepy enough, but bleeding black blood-"

Nami held up her hand to silence him, "Nice thinking to destroy the cannons. We're fine thankfully, but this would have been a lot worse if those marines had kept firing at us."

You nodded absentmindedly, and turned to watch Ryu. He was closer to Nelson's flagship then before. Suddenly something shot out from the massive ship and stuck the dragon in the side.

"No…" The three of you looked on horrified as Grandpa Ryu fell from the sky. Soon after he touched the water, you could see a rubber arm stretch over with Luffy zooming towards the dragon as fast as he could.

Apis had tears dripping down her cheeks as she looked at the unmoving figure, "GRANDPA RYU!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could have used the 'Kama-kama no mi'/'Okama' joke. But since I've already started to use the translated devil fruit names, I thought I should stick with them and should avoid the gag entirely. I may change that later in a rewrite...


	8. 1000 years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, I would know what each of the Poneglyphs say and tell Robin everything.

"GRANDPA RYU!" Apis looked like she was going to run directly into the sea to rescue the slowly sinking dragon.

"She can't swim!" Nami screamed, "she's eaten a devil fruit!"

"I'm on it!" Usopp jumped into the sea and swam to the small boat.

You watched as Luffy talked to Ryu. He was too far away from the Merry for you or Nami to hear what he was actually saying.

Nami's eyes narrowed, "Those bastards…"

"Well," you looked towards the flagship, "From what Smoker told me, this is something Nelson would pull." You gritted your teeth as the obnoxious flagship fired a harpoon at the dragon, "Selfish obese bastard."

Luffy caught the weapon easily, and threw it back towards the flagship, "BASTARD!"

Nami whooped, "I hope it hit that fat-ass!"

"Well it is a very large target according to my sources. I would be surprised if he misses."

"LET ME GO! GRANDPA RYU NEEDS ME!"

"GUYS, COULD USE A BIT OF HELP HERE!" Usopp was in the little rowboat trying to restrain a struggling Apis.

With your help he brought the resisting girl onto the deck. Nami tied her tightly to his back.

"GRANDPA RYU NEEDS MY HELP!"

You jerked a thumb at your captain, who seemed to be talking to the dragon again, "Cap's with him, so you can be certain that Gramps will be safe. No offence, but what would you be able to do?"

"She's right," Nami smiled, "You and Ryu are our friends, and Luffy wouldn't let anything happen to a friend."

You rubbed your temple absentmindedly, "Besides, I think his wish has been fulfilled…"

"What?" The three of them turned to you, well Apis turned as much as she could considering she was facing the other way.

A mild tremor ran through the ocean, shaking the Merry.

"GYAA! THE ENTIRE OCEAN IS SHAKING! WHAT'S WITH THIS SEA?"

Turning to Nami, you tapped your chin, "Well Mello has a theory that seems pretty convincing. Don't you think the name 'Millennial Dragon' is a little odd?"

"I guess…" She tilted her head and crossed her arms, "I thought it referred to their life-span or something…"

"GRANDPA RYU! HE'S ALIVE!"

You looked over your shoulder as the dragon arched his neck and roared again. The sound wasn't as loud or as aggressive as when he roared before; you thought it sounded slightly melancholy.

Apis paled, "Grandpa ryu…"

"What's he crying for?" Usopp stood with his back to the railing so Apis could get a good view.

You smiled sadly, "It really does sound like he's crying this time, doesn't it?"

"He's calling them," Apis' eyes widened.

Nami and Usopp looked confusedly at each other.

"The Millennial Dragons scattered around the world," Apis tilted her head, 'The time has come,' that's what he's calling."

' _That was nice deduction, Mello. It seems you were right'_ You could feel his smug satisfaction.

"I'm sorry Nami, but maybe they weren't named after their life-span." You grinned as dark shapes started to form on the horizon, "What if, they were named after their migratory period."

A flicker of realisation appeared in Nami's eyes, "No way…"

"O-oi, what're those?" Usopp pointed at the approaching shapes.

"They're," Nami's eyes widened, "Millennial Dragons!"

"So many…" The sniper's jaw dropped, "The sky's full of them!"

Your smile widened as many majestic green dragons flew over the Merry, each one at least twice the size of the little boat. They cried out in high pitched screams and squeaks, their shadows blotting out the sun above.

"I bet they're Grandpa Ryu's nakama!" Nami smiled in awe.

Apis smiled amidst the tears, "Yeah!"

Ryu collapsed, his final call answered. You could see Luffy rush to his side, and the two looked at each other before the rubber man nodded. He stood up, and faced the flagship.

"Gum-gum…" His arm stretched into the air, until it took hold of the neck of one of the Millennial Dragons, "ROCKET!" Luffy disappeared into the air, and you could vaguely see his leg elongate, "AND AXE!" The massive limb smashed the flagship cleanly in two, and Luffy's torso quickly followed behind.

"Grandpa...hurck...Ryu…" Apis was sobbing inconsolably. Nami hugged her as best as she could. You wanted to comfort the little girl, but hesitated.

' _Nami's probably better than me at this sorta thing.'_

" _That is...very astute of you, Missy."_

"NAMI-SWAN! I'M BAAAAAAAAACK~<3"

"Shut up and get on already!"

"Good work you two," Grinning, you waved from the deck as Zoro and Sanji boarded the Going Merry. Suddenly, a shiver went down your spine. You had barely any time to react when Luffy slammed on top of you hard enough to rock the entire boat.

"Yo!"

"Uuuugh….Cap…you're gonna really need to work on your aim a bit...and your landings..."

"GET OF (y/n)-CHAN, YOU BASTARD!"

"(y/n)? Why're you on the floor? You having a nap or something?"

"Do I look like Mop-boy to you?"

Another tremor, even bigger than the one before, started to make the Merry tremble.

Sanji fell on his side, "An earthquake?"

"Again?" Nami huddled near Usopp into a corner.

"Grandpa Ryu…" Apis was looking out at the spot where the dragon had been. He had sunk completely. She bowed her head, "My promise to Grandpa Ryu...I couldn't keep it…"

Luffy finally got off your back, and started to walk over to Apis. You rolled into a cross-legged position.

"I couldn't take him to the dragon's nest…" She slumped, fully defeated.

"Grandpa Ryu's wish came true."

Apis turned in shock to your captain.

"The dragons are calling. Can't you hear them?"

Her eyes widened as a large shockwave spread out from where Ryu had died. You braced yourself against the railing, eyes widening as you saw the land rising towards you from under the ocean.

" _I do so love it when I am correct!"_

' _I really, really wish that I wasn't though...'_

" _You couldn't have stopped his death, Missy."_

"When Mello thought that the name 'Millennial' could be related to their migratory period," Nami yelled over to you from where she was hanging on from on the other side of the Merry, "was he thinking about how often that their nest appeared from? Such as...every millenia!"

You smiled weakly as rocky outcrops erupted from beneath the sea, "The dragon's nest was right here all along! This flock couldn't all have appeared by chance if they were scattered across the entire world!"

"Lost Island...what a perfect name!" She grinned in awe, "If it only surfaces once every 1000 years, there is no way any living human would remember it surfacing! We are lucky enough to witness it resurface!"

The entire crew looked out upon the beautiful choral landscape as the circling dragons started to swoop down and crow in happiness. Even though you didn't really believe in chance, you were mildly surprised that the Merry had not been impaled by a large rock like some of the marine ships.

The noise was amazing, it sounded like you had entered some sort of tropical paradise. Screeching and crowing filled the air, as the crew and Apis disembarked the Merry.

"Amazing…" Usopp didn't know which way to look first. You couldn't really blame him, every direction was as spectacular as the last, with vibrant colours and little rock pools.

"Could this be…" Apis looked up at Luffy.

"Yup," he beamed, "This is the dragon's nest that Grandpa Ryu wanted to go return to."

The small girl suddenly saw a large body in the distance, and started to run in that direction.

"Oi! Oi, Apis!"

"APIS!"

Shaking your head at them, you pointed at the body of Grandpa Ryu. They stiffened. Nami clapped a hand to her mouth. Luffy began to walk with uncharacteristic seriousness towards the body, you and the rest of the crew following close behind.

Apis was up to her waist in water when you finally caught up, crying her eyes out.

Usopp bowed his head, "It feels like some strange twist of fate. The place Grandpa Ryu fell turned out to be the dragon's nest. I...I hope that he can feel at peace now."

"He's fine," Luffy declared confidently, "Before he sank, he said his wish had come true."

You walked over to one of the rock formations, "These sure are interesting shapes."

"I bet...these are Millennial Dragons." Sanji stepped behind you, "Look at this rock here, looks like a dragon, don't you think mademoiselle?"

Nami moved over beside you, "They do...and I think it's because during those 1000 years, they were under the ocean. Their bodies became calcified."

"I see…"

Zoro smirked at Usopp, "Did you understand a word of that?"

"Nope, not a bit."

"It does mean that neither Nelson or Eric will get a bit of dragonite out of them," you smiled weakly, before looking back at Apis.

She was bawling in front of your captain, "Grandpa Ryu, you liar…hic...this is the dragon's nest...hurk...If we've found the dragon's nest...then open your eyes! Talk to me! Get better again!"

"Silly gramps…" you muttered as her sobs echoed around the island, "this is why you should have told her."

Zoro looked at you in shock, "You knew…"

"I can see the future...why so surprised…" You looked down, "Believe me, I wanted to tell you guys...but he didn't want Apis to worry…"

" _You're beating yourself up about something you couldn't have prevented."_

' _I hate this ability sometimes. He didn't deserve to die.'_

You heard the swordsman hesitate, "...how much haven't you told us."

"There are things that I don't know about myself, and many others I'm still figuring out how they work. In this case I can only really see the lifespans of people who are definitely going to die if there is no intervention. And I only know about it if I make contact with them, so it's quite temperamental. Anyways," you raised your head to look at him, "everyone has things they want to keep to themselves."

Zoro paused before nodding.

"Have you been harassing (y/n)-chan, Moss head?" Sanji dashed over. "Are you alright, mademoiselle, is this green bastard annoying you?"

You giggled at Zoro's expression, "Thanks, Sanji, but I'm fine."

"(y/n)-CHWAN SAID MY NAME SO SEXILY AGAIN~<3"

" _Missy...look over the other side of the lake."_

Doing as Mello suggested, you watched as a round boulder shaped object cracked. Your eyes widened as a baby dragon emerged, and was quickly surrounded by adults crooning over it. The young dragon made eye contact with Apis, and to you it almost seemed to smile. It chirped happily.

' _Is that who I think it is…'_

" _Judging by the look on the girl's face, I think so. She can talk to animals after all…"_

She smiled determinedly as she walked away from the happy scene, "Thank you everyone. When Grandpa Ryu said, 'Return me to the dragon's nest', I think I understood what kind of place this might be, and why he wanted to return so badly."

"Apis…"

"It's incredible here," She grinned, "Now, let's go back to the village! I bet the villagers are scared out of their wits!"

Everyone smiled.

"You've got a strong will, kid," You tilted your head, "The village and the dragons are in safe hands!"

Luffy grinned from ear to ear, "Alright! Let's grab our ship and get off this island! Man I am hungry..."

As everyone started to walk back to the Merry, Luffy babbling to Sanji about what sort of meat he wanted, you started to feel a sense of unease, "Something's off..."

"You too?" Zoro grimaced.

Sanji puffed on his cigarette, "If that's coming from you of all people, this is not looking good."

A loud scream came from behind you.

Usopp, Nami and Apis turned around with various looks of panic on their faces. The man on the rock combed his wet blue hair back into its trademark quiff.

Luffy tilted his head, "Man...you're still here?"

Eric smirked, "Indeed...any longer and I would have drowned." He spread his arms and started babbling about the beauty of the dragonite or something. You had quickly zoned out.

"How is it he survived again?" Sanji placed a hand on his chin, "I thought he had a devil fruit."

"WHAAAAA! A DEVIL FRUIT?!"

"Right, Usopp's never met him…" Nami paused in thought. She suddenly tapped her fist down, "Oh right, Ryu threw him into the air after he attacked Apis."

You looked up and whistled softly, "That was some air time…"

"WOULD YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME!" Eric didn't take being ignored well.

"Not interested." Luffy picked his nose.

"WHAT!" He collected himself, "...fine. Then you can watch, while I claim the live dragonite for myself!"

"Don't you dare!" Apis ran forward.

Usopp dashed forwards to grab her, and dove under the attack Eric sent their way.

She sat up, "Even if I have to risk my life, I have to protect them. This is a sacred place for the Millennial Dragons! I will protect this place...FOREVER!"

Luffy nodded in understanding.

"You still intend to stop me?" The man frowned, "Then you all shall die here. Sickle-sickle whirlwind!" He swiped at Usopp and Apis.

They were about to be it by the attack when Luffy moved in front. An X sliced its way across his chest, ruining his top, and he fell to his knees.

The two cowering behind stopped shaking, "Luffy!"

Zoro and you took a step forward, your hands inching towards the weapons at your hip.

"He's mine." Luffy stood back up as if nothing had even happened. His eyes darkened, "I made a promise."

"If you're sure, Cap." You giggled as you leant back, "Give him hell."

Zoro smirked.

It really didn't take him long. Although the rubber man got many minor cuts, Eric's already injured leg meant that he was no match for Luffy's sheer willpower. The blue haired man was sent flying for the second time that day thanks to a gum-gum bazooka.

Luffy grinned, "I win!"

Zoro finally relaxed his grip on his swords.

Apis beamed, "We did it!"

* * *

"ALRIGHT!" Luffy punched the air from where he was sitting on the Merry's railing, "Let's set sail to the Grand Line! Apis, you wanna come?"

She shook her head as she stood on the shore with the rest of the villagers, "I've had so much fun being with you guys, I'd like to, but I'm going to stay here on the island. I want to learn more about our customs from Grandpa Bokunen, and just as our ancestors protected the Millennial Dragons, I will protect the dragon's nest. I will wait for the day when the baby dragons will return to this island."

Usopp tilted his head, "Wait a minute...the next time they'll come back…" He started hastily counting on his fingers.

Apis giggled, as she explained how her descendants will carry on and protect the island forever. "It's crazy," she finished, "but you guys do crazy things every day, don't you?"

"We do?" Luffy pouted in confusion as the rest of the crew silently screamed at him.

"I sure hope so!" You grinned, "That's what I signed up for after all!"

You sailed away from Warship Island, waving your goodbyes to Apis and the dragons until they were little dots on the horizon.

* * *

"So how much do you know about this...Reverse Mountain, (y/n)? You came from the Grand Line, right?"

You tilted your head slightly as you watched the rain dash against the portholes, "Not much I'm afraid, Nami. The rumours that went through Loguetown were vague at best. I think that you're supposed to sail up the mountain…"

"Up the mountain? That's impossible."

"We met dragons who are at least 1000 years old and have a living weapon with a tattoo that has a mind of his own and a rubber man on our crew."

"Shishishi!"

"I'll believe it when I see it, that's all" Zoro scoffed as he leant back against the wall.

Nami sighed, "But that's what the map says, so I guess we've no choice but to go with it."

She turned back to you, "I thought you came from the Grand Line, but you don't seem to know about it that well?"

"I was born there, so I never had to enter in this sorta way. And the way I left was...unconventional." You shuddered as you remembered flying right over the Red Line in a massive paw print. That had hurt.

"...I'm not even going to ask."

Nami looked at the map before talking about how she thought Reverse Mountain would work, which was something about strong currents.

"...In other words," she finished, "if we can't make it into the canal...the Going Merry will slam straight into the Red Line, and the ship will be destroyed."

"So…" Luffy put a hand on his chin, "it's a mystery mountain."

"Now this is getting good!" You pumped your arm in the air enthusiastically.

"IF YOU THINK THIS IS FUN, THEN YOU CAN GO AND DO THE SAILS!"

"...yes ma'am."

* * *

Looking up at the big red wall, you felt dwarfed, "To think I flew over that monster…I can't even see the top..."

"You can fly, (y/n)? SHISHISHI! THAT'S SO AWESOME! CAN YOU TEACH ME?"

Zoro's expression faltered, and he looked like he was going to say something before deciding otherwise.

"Hate to say we told you so Zoro." You clapped his back.

"I don't believe it...The water really IS climbing up the mountain…"

"Make sure we go straight between those water gates, okay? If we don't-"

"The ship will be smashed, we know already." Usopp groaned with the strain of pulling the rudder to the side. Sanji decided to help, and soon both of them were pushing the helm harshly to the side with all their strength.

CRACK!

They both stared with wide eyes at the broken piece of wood that used to be the rudder.

"WE'RE GOING TO HIT THAT ROCK!" Nami screamed as she cowered in the corner, "MAKE US TURN STARBOARD!"

"They broke the rudder," you said calmly, "Cap!"

"THEY DID WHAT!?"

"Yeah!" He quickly sprinted to the edge of the ship and jumped off, "Gum-gum...BALLOON!"

The massively inflated Luffy managed to bounce the Merry off of him, and into the middle of the channel safely.

You saw him fall behind, "Shit...Mellontas, appear and grapple!"

" _You could show some panic for once!"_

As soon as he appeared in your hands, you aimed him at Luffy. The scythe extended and managed to blunt the blade before he wrapped it about the rubber man.

"Shishishi...Thanks (y/n)!" Luffy grinned as he stepped back onto the deck as you retracted and recalled Mello.

You were giggling profusely as you held onto a railing. The incline had increased dramatically and you were having the time of your life as the ship rocketed to the top. The little ship passed through the cloud layer, and suddenly the sun hit your beaming face.

Suddenly the ship reached the top of the mountain, and without warning shot forwards. You watched as even the very spray from the sea started to freeze around you. With a shock of excitement, you noticed that your feet had departed from the deck and you were in free fall. You and Luffy laughed heartily as gravity tugged you and the ship down, landing in the descending side of Reverse Mountain. You ran towards the front of the ship and leant forwards, grinning ear to ear.

' _Caspar, Moko, I'm going to show you that I'm not like the murderous psychopath the government made me be!'_

Ruining the moment, you felt a throb from your temple.

"...a whale?"


	9. Ok now that's a whale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, then I would be SUPEEEEEEEEEEER like Franky.

You made a face of begrudging respect, "So that's what I meant by a whale. That's nice."

"YOU THINK!" Everyone, including Luffy to your surprise, screamed at you.

"THAT'S MORE LIKE A MOUNTAIN THAN A WHALE!" Usopp shook his head in desperation as he clung to the mast as a lifeline.

"Well I think it's an island whale, and a small one at that from what I've heard."

"A SMALL ONE?" His eyes rolled backwards and he started to froth at the mouth.

Nami held up her hand her , "Now this is all well and good, BUT WE ARE HEADING TOWARDS THAT THING FAST! WE NEED TO MOVE OUTTA THE WAY!"

"Well the helm's broken and all, so I think we're pretty screwed."

"MISSY I SWEAR IF WE SURVIVE THIS I'M GONNA PUMMEL YOUR ASS INTO THE GROUND!"

"NOW THAT IS NO WAY TO SPEAK TO (y/n)-CHWAN, FILTHY MARIMO!"

"Oh chill already. As far as I can tell, none of us are going to die." You giggled, "Live a little."

" _Missy…please just stop talking. You're making it worse."_

"I just got a good idea!"

Nami looked at him incredulously as he ran inside the ship, "Luffy? What do you mean?"

"It won't tuuuuuuurn!" Usopp, Sanji and Zoro were unsuccessfully attempting to grasp what little was left of the helm and shove it to the side.

Frozen in place, Nami's eyes widened and her arms fell limply to her sides as she looked up at the quickly approaching black mass. You silently agreed with her, words alone could not possibly attempt to describe the titanic size of this anima. Even its eyes alone were at least ten times the size of the ship you were standing on.

Suddenly, the cannon at the front of the Merry fired at the whale. You were thrown off the mast and into the sea due to the sheer force of the ship's deceleration.

" _I'm quite surprised at the level of thought that rubber boy put into this, that was quite a sophisticated way to slow the ship down. Using conservation of momentum-"_

You surfaced and spat out a mouthful of salty water, ' _Shut up Mello. Not really in the mood for a physics lecture.'_

You ignored him as he started to protest about the value of science, and instead started to swim after the Merry. The ship had travelled a little further than you had, and was now touching the whale's side. The sheep head had snapped off completely, and you had no doubt that Luffy was going to be pissed.

To your shock, oars dropped into the water either side of the Merry and they started to paddle off.

"HEY ASSHOLES! I KNOW AT LEAST MOP-BOY WANTS ME DEAD, BUT THIS IS JUST CRUEL!" You started to swim faster through the choppy waves in a fruitless effort to catch up.

" _They probably haven't realised that you're not there…"_

' _That hurts even more…'_

"BWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaGGGGGGGGGGHhhhhhhh!" You treaded water as you clasped your ears. The aggressive waves produced by the whale's cry made it even harder to catch up to the fleeing ship.

" _That thing really is loud…"_

' _YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE EARS MELLONTAS, FANCY SWITCHING FOR A BIT?'_

" _I think not."_

' _TRAITOR!'_

After the whale finished screaming, you floated on your back for a bit to regain your breath.

' _Now what? They've left me behind after they've taken me back to the Grand Line, so I can't go back…Am I going to be taken back...'_

" _Missy, I realise that it's hard for you to see this after working in the government underworld for so long, but if you have learnt anything about this crew it's that no one gets left behind. "_

You smiled internally, ' _Yeah...I guess you're right.'_

" _Of course I am. I'm always right."_

"...WHAT THE HELL DID YOU BREAK MY FAVOURITE SEAT FOR? AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH (y/n)!"

You turned towards the direction of Luffy's scream, and were met with the sight of an elongated arm punching the large bulbous eye of the massive whale.

You sweatdropped and could feel the scythe under your skin do the same.

" _Now, I think we should not tell the rubber boy that it was technically his fault that you got knocked off the ship..."_

' _Agreed…'_

"YOU IDIOT!" The Merry shook with the force of the terrified screams of your crewmates.

The gigantic pupil seemed to not register the hit, until it suddenly looked down at the insignificant little boat.

The whale groaned, before opening its mouth wide to reveal a row of pointed teeth and roaring once more.

You paled, "Well shit."

The Merry quickly got tugged inside the gaping void that was the whale's mouth. You were also getting sucked in at an alarming pace, until Mello appeared in your hands and grappled you to one of the whale's teeth.

" _I haven't waited for a wielder for centuries just to be eaten by a whale."_  You felt him grumble as he reeled you in and then vanished into your skin once more.

' _Again, have I told you how much I freaking love you?'_

" _Only every other day, Missy."_

"Huh, (y/n)?" Luffy's head stretched over to you from where he was holding onto the tooth next to you. "You're alright!" He grinned, "That's good!" His elongated arm coiled around your waist, and he determinedly looked upwards, "We're not dying here you stupid whale!" Together you shot upwards and Luffy started to climb up the gigantic head using the jagged scars that were scattered across the front of the whale's face, with you dangling uselessly from his right arm.

"Cap...as much as I am glad to see you again, can you let me go?" You tried to break free, but with no luck, "I can climb, y'know…"

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHH!"

You sighed in amusement as the whale simply closed its mouth in response to Luffy's cry. He panted as the two of you finally reached the top of the massive creature. He recoiled his arm, sending you spinning in the process. You lay sprawled on the ground, trying to stop your eyes from spinning.

"What do I do? Everyone was eaten."

Eyes finally steady, you looked over towards your captain. The look of utter fear and desperation on his face was heartbreaking. It reminded you that however strong he was, Luffy was only a 17 year old boy who relied heavily on his friends.

You stood up shakily and held out your hand, "Not everyone, Cap. You saved me from getting eater, and together we'll get the rest back no problem." You grinned broadly.

" _Actually I saved you-"_

' _Shush.'_

Luffy perked up a little as he took your hand, "So they're alright then?"

You scratched your chin, "I think so. I must admit, not completely certain about that, but my gut's telling me that they're fine."

"Right then!" He started to punch the whale, "Oi, stupid! Spit everyone up! You gave (y/n) back, now gimme back the others! You damn-WOAH!"

"I really hope this isn't what I think it is…" You looked at the quickly approaching waterline, "Okay it is. This thing's about to dive." You turned to Luffy who had continued to stamp insults onto the oblivious whale's head, "We need to get off of here and fast!"

"GIMME BACK MY NAKAMA NOW! WE'RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE TOGETHER! THEY'RE IMPORTANT TO ME! GIVE 'EM BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

Your heart went out to him, it really did. That's why you hit him on the head, "As much as I agree with you Cap, you're not going to be much help if you're at the bottom of the sea."

" _Missy, sorry to ruin this moment, but there seems to be a metal door behind you."_

' _Right, Mello...As if I would believe that…We're on a whale after-'_  You turned around to look behind you, and your eyes widened. Luffy looked equally perplexed as he turned towards the direction you were now facing.

" _You were saying?"_

* * *

"What's this?"

"Okay I've seen weird things before, but this is weirdness on a whole other level."

You and Luffy had gone through the metal hatch from the top of the whale, and were now standing in...a metal passageway.

"We are still inside a whale, right?" You gaped.

" _It appears so."_

' _Mello...please just stop talking. You're making it worse.'_

" _Don't you mimic my words back at me, Missy."_

You punched your shoulder, a move you instantly regretted, before turning to Luffy. "So...where to next, Cap?"

Your answer was the sudden lurching of the passageway under your feet.

"Oh shit…"

"GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The two of you bounced from wall to wall as you descended the now near vertical passageway, Luffy ricocheting all over the place like, well, a rubber ball. You, since you were made of skin and bone, were obtaining a lovely collection of bruises as you hit each wall.

"Spinning, spinning, my eyes are spinning!"

" _Well I don't think he is going to help us…"_

An opening was quickly approaching and you instinctively shielded your face with your arms. Being tossed through the air onto a metal floor was bad enough, without your captain landing squarely on your back.

"Oh this is going to be a thing isn't it…"

" _It appears so."_

You wanted to punch that smug tone off of Mellontas' non existent face, but were stopped by the sloping of the floor underneath you.

"Is it bad I'm almost enjoying this..."

" _Yes."_

This time, Luffy had the foresight (you inwardly giggled at that) to grab onto you, and together you took off again down the tunnel as it turned vertical. Eventually the tunnel sloped down into a gentle curve. Luffy had no idea how to deal with this and started to run along the resulting corridor to try and slow down with you hanging onto his torso for dear life. This backfired spectacularly.

"SLOW DOWN YOU IDIOT! YOU'LL GET US KILLED!"

"I CAN'T STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

You could vaguely see two figures with bazookas up ahead of you, a female with blue hair and a man with nines painted on his face with a crown on his head. As soon as they saw the horrific sight that was you and Luffy running towards them at full speed, they pretty much started screaming their eyes out. Luffy barreled through them and knocked them into the air through a door that the pair were standing by.

As you flew off Luffy's back, you took in the sight of a blue sky with clouds and seagulls, two

islands with a house on and a suspiciously green sea.

" _Okay, now I'm confused. Is this still a whale?"_

The man in the crown threw up his hands, "Oh no, Miss Wednesday! Below us is a huge sea of digestive juices!"

She was too busy screaming to answer.

"Well that explains the colour…" Looking down, you were relieved to see the Merry fully intact, minus the figure head.

Zoro's eyebrow twitched, "Luffy…? Missy…?"

"Yo! You guys are all okay!" The rubber boy switched grimaced, "By the way...SAVE US!"

You burst into a massive fit of giggles as the four of you splashed into the green-blue liquid.

* * *

"(y/n)-CHWAN! I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE ALRIGHT, MY LOVE!" Sanji's face darkened and his eyes flamed, "Who gave you those injuries, I'll beat them to a bloody pulp!"

"Go ahead and beat up some metal walls then, Flirty." You stretched out your aching limbs. Your bruises had blossomed into flowers of yellow, blue and purple, which meant that you were more than a little stiff.

Zoro smirked a little, before glaring at the two strange people that you had bought up onto the ship, "We saved your asses. Now who are you?"

The two looked shiftily around. Luffy sat behind them, unknowingly cutting off their escape route. Sanji, after you asserted that you were fine, crouched down right next to the so called 'Miss Wednesday' and started drooling. She visibly recoiled, "Mr Nine. These are pirates."

He shuffled towards her, "I can see that, Miss Wednesday." The ginger man smiled weakly, "But I think we can convince them. Probably..."

"Are you two scoundrels still here." Everyone turned to see what appeared to be an old flower man emerge from the door you, Luffy and the two weirdos came from. His eyes narrowed, "Don't make me repeat myself! As long as I'm alive, you won't lay a finger on Laboon!"

"So he's back…" Usopp sighed.

You turned to him, "So who is that exactly?"

Miss Wednesday laughed ominously as she stood, "You may say that, but we cannot retreat."

"Killing this whale is our mission," Mr Nine agreed, as he reached for his bazooka, "We won't let you interfere with our whaling anymore!" Together they raised their massive guns, "We'll rip a hole in its stomach! Let 'er rip, baby!"

"Roger!"

Two cannonballs fired off towards the whale's...stomach wall. It still was a little ambiguous to you.

Before you could do anything, the old man jumped in front of the two projectiles and they exploded in his face.

"Mellontas! Reverse Grapple!"

" _I understand!"_

He appeared in your hand and at once wrapped his blade around the railing surrounding the Merry. The shaft pointed towards the falling man. Quickly you crouched on the end, making sure that you made contact with Mello at all times. The end with you on extended until you were right underneath the old man. You caught him gently and then retracted the shaft, bringing both of you back onto the deck of the little ship.

"Are you alright sir?"

He looked at you with wide eyes, "Y...uh..you are…"

You winced slightly, knowing where this was going. You set him down before he could finish and then quickly recalled Mello, "Yeah..."

The look he gave you was one of pure disgust, "You should have remained dead, you monster!"

Sanji stood up and glared at him. Zoro glowered and his hand reached for his swords. Nami and Usopp both stood behind you, placing reassuring hands on your shoulders. You could even feel Mello's rage in your skin.

Luffy's face was shadowed by his hat, "(y/n) is my nakama. If you keep talking about my nakama that way," he looked furious as he tilted his hat back, "then I'll never forgive you."

"Oh, she's your nakama is she? My mistake." He sat down, pulled out a newspaper from Kronos knows where, and started to read. "My name's Crocus, by the way."

"Eh?" You and Luffy gaped. The rest of the strawhat crew facepalmed.

"Just checking, you do know who she is don't you."

Luffy nodded. "She's our ship's psycho," he stated bluntly.

Miss Wednesday and Mr Nine speedily huddled as far away from you as they could.

You giggled, "Ship psychic, not psycho."

They relaxed a little.

Turning to Crocus, you smiled sadly. "These guys know everything, don't worry. Besides, I've left that monster behind me for a long time now. I'm never going back to that hell."

He turned the page of his paper, and a piece of brown parchment fell out. He studied it for a bit, looking at you occasionally in a perplexed manner. Eventually he folded it up and put it in a pocket. He stood and smiled warmly at you, "I believe you, Miss. Sorry about before."

You beamed and the rest of the crew relaxed.

"Um, I feel that we have been left out of the loop a little, Miss Wednesday."

"Just a little, Mr Nine."

Luffy slapped their faces together, and they fell unconscious to the floor.

Usopp sweatdropped, "Uh...Luffy?"

The rubber boy looked up with a look of thunder on his face, "I just had to hit something."

Zoro and Sanji nodded in agreement.

* * *

On the 'island', you wrapped Crocus' wounds to the best of your abilities. Luffy for some unknown reason was trying to climb the palm tree, and Usopp was being very unsuccessful in bringing him down.

The old man stared at the rest of the crew, "You helped me immensely. But why?"

Luffy pouted from halfway up the tree, "I didn't help you. Just didn't want to see that."

Nami stood over the two weirdos, "So what's the deal with these guys." She kicked them for good measure. "And what are you doing inside this whale?"

"So this really is still a whale," you sighed in relief, "I thought I was going crazy."

"You went crazy a long time ago, Missy."

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO THE MADEMOISELLE LIKE THAT, YOU PEA BRAIN!"

"Oooooh Pea brain's new. Not sure it fits Mop-boy though."

"You're right, (y/n)-chwan. His brain's smaller than a pea."

"WHAT WAS THAT YOU STUPID LOVE COOK!"

Crocus continued during their brawl as if nothing was happening, explaining how the two were hunting the whale Laboon for his meat.

You thought about the whale, and felt a twinge of sadness.

" _Nothing this majestic should ever be turned into food."_

You silently nodded your agreement.

"But there's a reason why Laboon continues to bash his head against the Red Line, and why he faces Reverse Mountain and bellows." The old man frowned as he turned to look right at you, "For you see, he's a whale with a heart like a person. And he's been earnestly waiting for a certain group of pirates...for 50 years."

The whale moaned.

The entire crew looked at Crocus incredulously.

"50 years?" You sighed.

He sighed as he recalled the tale of the pirates who bought Laboon with them to the Grand Line, and left the whale with him to keep safe.

You massage your temple as you got a twinge of a vision whilst he was talking. You paled, "Did one of these pirates have a black afro by any chance? With a violin?"

The old man looked shocked, "Why yes, that would be Brook. Laboon was very fond of him."

"An image of a skeleton with a black afro," you shivered a little, "He was holding a violin…"

Crocus recoiled, before looking down resignedly, "I would expect nothing less from a Saioney. I expected as much after they never came back."

" _But we see the future, not the past."_

' _That's what's worrying me. This means that we must come across their ship at some point…'_  You frowned. ' _But there's a gut feeling about this that I can't really put my finger on. Something about this situation isn't right.'_

The old man talked over your musings, "But that is why Laboon bashes his head against the Red Line. He is angry about the thing that took his friends from him."

Sanji puffed out a cloud of smoke, "But he must realise that they aren't coming back. Haven't you told him?"

"I did tell him," The old man stood up and shuffled over to the other island, "All of it. But he refused to listen."

You sighed, "The truth is hard to take, isn't it."

Crocus pulled a hidden lever, "Now, you people probably should get out of here before your ship gets digested."

"Ah." You had forgotten that you were still inside a stomach.

* * *

You looked up at the massive whale from the Merry. Being inside a whale was cool and all, but you would be lying if you said you weren't glad to be breathing fresh air.

Zoro came over to stand next to you, "What a whale, huh."

"Even when there's no point in waiting…" Usopp sniffled.

"If there was a reason to wait, he would have listened to me," Crocus got up from his little island-ship, "More than anything else, he is afraid of losing his reason to wait. His home's in the West Blue. And yet, there is no way home for him now. All he ever wanted, was to continue being nakama with the men he followed here…"

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

You turned to see your captain run up the whale's head with…

"That's our mast isn't it." Zoro stared up at Luffy.

"Yup," Sanji grimaced, "Right off our ship."

You giggled weakly, "That was our main mast."

"QUIT BREAKING THE SHIP!" Usopp uncharacteristically resembled a demon for a moment, in your opinion.

"GUM-GUM, FLOWER ARRANGEMENT!" Luffy rammed the mast into Laboon's head. The whale bellowed and what followed was one of the most bizarre fights that you had ever witnessed. Quite frankly, the whale was winning, but barely.

"Well, it seems that Cap really does have a brain," You giggled.

Nami shook you vigorously as tears streamed down from her eyes, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA ABOUT THE STUPIDITY OF THAT IDIOT!"

"It's a draw!" Luffy stood up from where he had been knocked onto the shore. He put his hat back on his head, "Pretty strong, ain't I? You wanna beat me, don't you?" He pointed at Laboon, "Our battle isn't over, so we're going to have to fight again someday. Your nakma may be dead, but from now on, I'm your rival! We'll fight again some day to decide which of us is the strongest!"

Nami released you in shock as she realised what Luffy was trying to do. Zoro and Sanji smirked.

"Once we've finished sailing the Grand Line, I'll be back!" Luffy grinned, "Then we'll finish our fight!"

Large tears welled up in the whale's eyes and splashed down his face. Crocus smiled with relief as Laboon gave a joyous cry in declaration to Luffy's challenge.


	10. Miss Hallows Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, I would be so happy my heart would burst. That is, if I even had a heart. YOOOOhohoho~

Laboon whooped with joy, showing off his new mark which was painted onto him by Luffy.

" _I suppose it looks like the Straw-hat Jolly Roger…"_

' _If you squint it might…'_

" _And that poor whale can't even see that monstrosity on his face…"_

You stood by Crocus as he watched the excited whale with the eyes of a proud father. Turning over your shoulder, you raised your eyebrows at the flustered navigator, "Nami, you mean to tell me that you've never even heard of a log pose?"

She shook her head.

You tapped the old man's shoulder, "You wouldn't happen to have a book on Grand Line navigation would you?"

He pointed inside the lighthouse, never taking his eyes off Laboon, "You can take it with you if you want, it's the least I could do." His eyes crinkled, "I haven't seen him this happy for 50 years."

"Thanks." It was easy enough to find, and you slammed down the thick book in front of your navigator, "Read it. Memorise it. Worship it. And fast." You squeezed the bridge of your nose, "Otherwise I'm not sure we'd be able to survive before you get to the first island. I only survived by travelling on a tiny raft and only worrying about myself; something the size of the Merry is harder for me to work with."

Nami recoiled, "We still don't have a-"

You tossed the log pose you had stolen from Mr Nine at her. She caught it blankly.

"Make sure you keep it safe, those are fragile. I also have a hunch that Luffy and Sanji might break it soon, so if they start arguing keep away."

She ran over to you and hugged you, and started to rub her cheek all over you, "I LOVE YOU BIG SIS!"

"CAREFUL WITH THAT POSE!"

"Food is ready Nami-swan, (y/n)-chwan~<3" Sanji was doing a very good job balancing four massive dishes and climbing up a rope ladder.

" _So this is the power of lust. Very impressive."_

You smiled, "I see you won that cooking contest!"

He grinned, "Well of course!" He handed you a plate with a large cake on, "This is for you, after all you were the one who encouraged me to enter!"

"Hell yeah!" You glowered at Luffy whose arm was inching ever closer to your food, "If you so much as touch this...I swear to Kronos that I will tie you in knots so tight you could never dream of undoing them."

He gulped and retracted his arm.

Sanji stared at you with hearts in his eyes, "I've made that threat to him multiple times and he never listened. YOU'RE AMAZING, (y/n)-CHWAN~<3"

"Mmmmmm…" You took another bite of the tuna meat, "This is good!"

Crocus walked over, "At least you have one person on this crew who knows what they're doing. You would have been stuck without a pose." The old man started to explain about the log poses and about Raftel to the enraptured crew minus Zoro.

You already knew about logs, so you took the time to enjoy the meal. Just as well, because after Crocus had explained everything, one very satisfied rubber boy had eaten it all.

You smiled broadly as you took another mouthful of cake.

Usopp sighed as he looked at the empty plates, "That monster even ate all the bones…" He looked slyly at your cake.

"Do you want to be on the receiving end of that." You pointed at the enraged cook who was kicking Luffy all over the place.

"Point taken."

Nami gave you a thumbs up from where she was cowering in the corner far away from the chaos. You winked, and took another bite of cake whilst wiggling your toes. That cake was really tasty.

' _I could eat this all day!'_

" _You have a mental age of about 5, Missy."_

' _Well considering I had no real childhood, is that surprising at all?'_

Laboon out of nowhere tossed up the disgruntled Miss Wednesday and Mr Nine onto the shore. Almost immediately they knelt down in front of Luffy and begged him to take them back to their home on Whiskey Peak. You frowned as you put the fork in your mouth.

" _You're thinking about talking with the swordsman."_

' _Yeah. He is the most likely person to have heard of Baroque Works in the crew.'_

" _Agreed. The rubber boy's obviously going to accept their request, and I have a suspicion that this is a trap. Allies who know what we're dealing with are crucial."_

Finishing the cake as quickly as you could, you made your way over to the Merry. As you had suspected, Zoro was fast asleep on the deck. You thought for a moment on the best way to wake him, before fetching a bottle of sake. You opened it and wafted it under his nose.

"Wh...ugh...where's...booze?" He opened one sleep-filled eye to see at you crouching in front of him. "Missy? What the hell're you doing?"

"Be grateful that I know you well enough by now. It was this or throwing you into the sea" You sat next to him, making sure that your voice was low enough to not be overheard, "I'm just wondering, did you recognise those code names as well?"

His eyes widened as he turned to you. Then he smirked, "Shouldn't really be surprised that they also tried to recruit you, I suppose."

"So you know about Baroque Works?" You poured yourself a glass and handed him the rest of the bottle.

"Yeah. Not really much of a secret for people like us." He gratefully accepted it, and the two of you clinked your drinks together.

You chuckled, "That's true. Which one found you?"

"A Mr Seven, I think. He had a seven painted on his face at least." His brow furrowed, "That fool tried to kill me five years ago when he didn't agree with my conditions for joining."

"Oh?" You nudged him slightly, "I'm curious. Tell."

The swordsman took a swig, "I wanted to run the whole organisation."

"PPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!" You fell into a fit of laughter, "Oh that is perfect! Just perfect!"

He looked very uncomfortable as he chugged from the bottle, "Is there a problem with that?"

"Of course not!" You wiped your eyes, before swirling your drink, "Did you get offered a position?"

"I did, but can't remember which one." He studied you inquisitively, "I'm guessing you did?"

"Miss Hallows Eve." You snickered, "Which sounds awful."

"Yeah it does," Zoro chuckled, "It'd suit you though."

You pouted. "But it was for the position of Mr Two's partner."

He almost spat out his drink, "That high up?"

"Well I'm sure that Mr Zero would love to have me under his thumb. Being the freak that I am." You giggled, "Kinda backfired on him, though. Because I was a freak working in secret for the world government I had to politely decline."

"Yeah, you really are a freak aren't you, Missy?"

You lightly punched him in the shoulder.

He smirked and started counting off on his fingers, "You stay calm through any weird stuff that we go through, and you giggle way too often. Although you're the oldest in the crew, you often act like Luffy." His face darkened, "and Luffy is Luffy..."

You smiled at that, "As much as both of us really love Cap, going back to the original topic, what are we going to tell the rest of the crew."

"Why does it matter?" Zoro took another swig from the bottle, "You really can pick the good stuff, Missy."

"Because Miss Wednesday and Mr Nine are currently begging our captain to take them 'home'."

He facepalmed, "Dammit Luffy…"

Draining your glass, you thought for a moment, "I think we should tell them as soon as those two are off the ship. Might be risky, but we can't let those agents realise that we know." You tapped your chin, "They didn't seem to recognise either of us earlier, so we should be fine for the time being."

He nodded.

"Hey...Marimo...What are you doing with (y/n)-chan!" Sanji was glaring at both of you and pointing at how close you were sitting to each other.

Nami, Usopp and Luffy soon followed him onboard. As soon as the two agents climbed onto the Merry, you felt Zoro stiffen next to you

"Flirty, it's fine. I was talking to Mop-boy about how nice your sweets were! He was curious about how they would taste, considering that he's never going to get any." You beamed, "I really love your cooking after all."

He mellowed instantly, "Of course you do, (y/n)-chwan! I prepare nothing but the finest delicacies for you and Nami-swan!"

"Suck up."

You held in your giggles as Zoro muttered the insult under his breath, before blinking your eyelashes at the cook, "You really are a real gentleman, Sanji."

" _Aaaaand he's gone. Nicely done, Missy"_

"OH (y/n)-CHWAN, MY NAME SOUNDS SO LOVELY OUT OF YOUR GORGEOUS LIPS, SAY IT AGAIN~<3" The tornado of love made a reappearance.

"And that is why I call him by a nickname all the time," you whispered out of the corner of your mouth as you stood up.

Zoro snickered before coming to a moment of realisation, "But you also call me by a nickname…"

"I could say the same to you." You stuck out your tongue as you walked away, "Do you have a soft spot for the cook too?"

"HELL NO!"

You yawned as you walked over to Nami, "If you don't mind, I'm probably going to sleep until we get to Whiskey Peak or whatever. My body took a beating whilst inside Laboon, and that drained me. Besides," you smirked tiredly, "you guys need the experience of dealing with the slight weather changes. It's alright reading it from a book, but natural instinct is necessary."

The navigator nodded, "That seems fair." She beamed and hugged the book, "This has been so useful, thanks for getting it for us."

"Eh it was nothing." You sauntered over to the tangerine trees, climbed into your favourite one, did up your jacket and put up the hood. After you had fully prepared, you snuggled back and started to doze off.

" _You just did this so you didn't have to deal with the crazy weather in this section of the Grand Line."_

' _Oh no, would I of all people ever do such an awful thing?'_

" _She is going to be so mad at you, Missy."_

' _Bring it on.'_

* * *

"MISSY YOU BITCH!"

"Mop-boy, trying to sleep here…Stop shaking me please…" The furious swordsman was in your tree and had grabbed hold of your jacket.

"Because of you," He leaned in towards you, "Nami made sure that I was awake the whole time! She kept rambling on about how we were all supposed to experience the Grand Line for ourselves! AND THAT YOU HAD TOLD HER SO!"

"I don't remember..."

"YOU HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY!"

"Near-photographic." You pouted and flicked his head, "Now please get off me. If Flirty sees us this time, I'm not sure I can explain it away like last time."

"Huh?" He suddenly realised that he was sitting straddling your legs in the tangerine tree. He fell out in shock, landing on his head.

You jumped gracefully down and landed on his back. Stretching, you yawned, "That was a good nap. I'm all better now."

" _Not who I expected would chew you out, but you did deserve it, Missy."_

' _I know.'_

You grinned as you crouched down to meet Zoro's eyes, "Look, I'm sorry. Really I am. You can take it out on me in our upcoming duel, okay."

Fire blazed in his eyes, "You're a dead woman, Missy."

Waving your hand at him, you turned on your heel and walked off to find the rest of the crew, "People have been saying that for a very long time, but look I'm still alive and kicking."

Nami was standing at the bow, looking at the approaching island. You clapped her on the shoulder, "You've done well, Mop-boy's just filled me in."

She smiled weakly, "Oh we would have been screwed without that book." Tears fell from her eyes as she turned to look at you, "Did you know it was going to be that bad?"

Wincing slightly, you nodded. After Smoker had pointed out how bad of a lier you were, you thought it would be best to tell the truth.

She deflated, and you deftly supported her.

"Land ho!" Luffy giggled from his special seat on the Merry's repaired figure head.

Sanji puffed on his cigarette, "So this is Whiskey Peak, sure is a weird looking island."

You silently agreed with him. The entire place was filled with large bulbous hills, some stacked on top of eachother. As you squinted through the onsetting fog, you could vaguely see that there were many short, spikey outcrops on every inch of the green hills.

' _Do I want to know what those are?'_

" _Considering we are possibly about to enter a town full of Baroque Works agents, I think not."_

Miss Wednesday and Mr Nine jumped onto the railing, "This is our stop."

The blue haired woman smiled dangerously, "Thank you for the ride, my honeys."

"We'll meet again, if it is to be!" Shivers went down your spine as the ginger man winked at you.

"Bye-bye baby!" The two backflipped off the Merry and started to quickly swim to shore.

"There they go…" Nami looked bemused.

Usopp scratched his head, "Who were those guys anyway?"

Seeing Zoro finally make his way to the bow, you were about to explain the whole situation when Luffy interrupted you, "Who cares? We're here!"

"But Cap…" you trailed off weakly as you quickly realised that he wasn't going to listen. "Oh well...Flirty?"

"I HAVE AN ICE CREAM RIGHT HERE FOR YOU, (y/n)-CHWAN! I HOPE IT DOESN'T MELT BECAUSE OF MY BURNING LOVE FOR YOU~<3"

You put a spoonful into your mouth, "One day, I'm going to teach you how to flirt, Flirty. Because that, was painful."

"YES TEACH ME PLEASE SESEI~<3"

"No."

"HOW ABOUT SENPAI THEN~<3"

"That's even worse…"

Nami hit him in the back of his head, "We need to focus. We have no idea what sort of danger that we're sailing into."

You and Zoro shared a resigned look.

Luffy grinned, "Well if there are monsters, we'll worry about it then! Let's just go!"

"Cap's right. Let's go. Just thinking about it isn't going to get us anywhere, plus we need to reset the log." You leant back on the railing, "But everyone needs to be on their guard. This screams trap."

Zoro winced, "Those two were more than a little shifty…"

"No matter what happens, I'll protect Nami-san." The cook determinedly straightened, before shooting you a sideways glance, "I think you don't really need my protection as much, mademoiselle. Hope you don't mind."

"Nah I'm good. You'd just get in the way."

"Hey...everyone," Usopp clutched his throat and started to make retching noises, "I've suddenly contracted I-can't-get-on-this-island disease…"

"Alright, let's gooooooo!"

"HEY!"

The fog suddenly descended upon the Merry as she sailed down an open channel, and you instinctively zipped up your jacket. With any luck, they wouldn't be aiming for you if they didn't know who you were. Usopp continued to quiver, and he slowly stepped behind you. Occasionally you caught glimpses of figures moving around in the shore either side of the ship, but they were too vague for you to be certain.

You weren't the only one who had noticed. "Something's moving." Luffy tilted his head.

"People…" Sanji puffed on his cigarette, "There are people on shore."

"Everyone, on your guard," Nami muttered.

Usopp started shaking even more behind you as he brought out his slingshot, "Ah...shit...I guess I'll have to brace for the worst..."

Ignoring him, your hands inched towards your side pouches where your daggers were.

All at once the fog lifted and, you were met by the sight of hundreds of cheering people.

" _Okay...not what I was expecting."_

You raised an eyebrow as they chanted on about how brave we were to go to the Grand Line, and that we were welcome here.

"Trap?"

"Oh yeah." Nami and Zoro subtly nodded back. The others had been completely won over by the act.

"Hehehe! Yes, bask in the glory of the great Usopp!"

"There are so many cute girls~<3"

"FOOOOOOOOOD!"

You grimaced.

* * *

' _I can't help but feel a little sorry for them, even if they are Baroque Works agents…'_

" _How much can that rubber boy eat? Is there going to be any food left on this island?"_   You could feel Mello's incredulity ripple through your skin.

The party thrown for your arrival was in full swing. Luffy, was being Luffy and devouring any item of food he could lay his hands on. He had already gone through one cook, and his second was looking as if he would pass out at any moment. Standing on a tall pile of tables, people waited on Usopp's every word as he 'recounted' our adventures. Nami forced Zoro to enter a drinking contest as soon as she had found out that there would be a money based prize, and would have forced you as well if the island's young men hadn't swept you into a corner and started waiting on your every command. Sanji would have decked them all, if every pretty girl hadn't done the same to him, they were now crooning about how manly he was.

' _Although, if they say that this is the best liquor on the island, then they deserve it.'_ You took another sip, ' _And if they think I'm not noticing the increasing amount of alcohol they're putting in, then I'm insulted.'_

"So Miss, how did a sexy thing like you end up in an unruly pirate crew?" One of the men leaned in next to you and put an arm over your left shoulder.

You felt Mello growl and you internally chuckled.

"Well…" You tapped your chin in mock thought, "At first I thought that the guys were cute..."

Sanji gave a large creepy smile and started to preen to his new harem a little more. Zoro glared daggers at you as he downed another tankard.

' _Okay…'_

You pouted as if you hadn't noticed them, "...but you guys are way cuter, so I was wondering if I should leave the crew and stay with you guys instead."

" _That was overkill…"_  Mello grumbled as the men surrounding you fell over with nosebleeds. The cook slumped over himself in a depressive cloud. Zoro just nodded as if that's what he had expected to begin with.

Taking another sip of the island liquor, you faked being a bit drowsy and collapsed on the couch you were sitting on, ' _Meheheheheh.'_

" _You are really evil sometimes, Missy."_

' _Only if it's fun.'_

* * *

" _Okay, no more agents are left in the room."_

You snapped open your eyes. Dirty plates and empty tankards were strewn all over the place. Stepping gingerly over Luffy's gigantic stomach, you walked over to where Zoro snored on a table, "You getting up or what?"

His eyes flickered open, and he sat up without so much as a yawn, "I'm guessing we're gonna kick their asses now." He grinned as he grabbed his swords.

"Well who else is," you gestured to the passed out crew, "I bet Nami's gonna sit tight until we wreak havoc, and the other three are oblivious."

The navigator gave a thumbs up from where she was feigning sleep on a .

Taking off your jacket to reveal your usual tube top, you summoned Mello.

"We going dramatic?" Zoro stalked off towards the back door.

Your eyes sparkled as you sauntered behind, "Is that even a question?"

He smirked.

The two of you worked your way on top of a building, before sitting down to listen to the four people in the square. As Mello had suspected, the 'mayor' of whiskey peak was really Baroque Works' Mr Eight, and the stocky nun who had challenged Nami to the drinking contest, was Miss Monday his partner. Miss Wednesday and Mr Nine had made an appearance as well.

"Makes you wonder what happened to Miss Tuesday." You grinned.

Zoro cocked his head, "Maybe she got demoted. Why are we up here again?"

"There's good backlighting from the moon, we'll look scarier."

"Nice."

You pointed down as you caught a bit of the conversation, "They seem to be talking about capturing our nakama…" Tilting your head, you made eye contact with the swordsman, "Shall we?"

He grunted as he unsheathed a sword, before raising his voice, "Hey. Sorry to interrupt."

Together, you raised your weapons in the air until they clashed. The four agents looked up in shock, finally noticing the two of you.

"We'd appreciate it if you'd let them sleep a little longer?" You winked, "First day on the Grand Line after all, really drains your energy"

"Mr Eight! Miss Monday!" Grunts started pouring out from the building where you just were, "The swordsman and one the women escaped."

Miss Wednesday to her credit didn't even flinch, "They're up there."

Mr Eight frowned. It was hard for you to take him seriously with his hair done in massive curls like that. "Fiends! You should have been completely unconscious!"

Zoro gave a trademark smirk, "No true swordsman, no matter what the circumstance, allows himself to be overwhelmed by drink."

"And you think you can keep me of all people down with a mere drink," you tilted your head. Both of you stood. "We can recognise our own kind after all."

"This is a nest of bounty hunters. You deceive merry pirates just as they've made it into the Grand Line and take them for all their worth."

You did a quick head count before swinging Mello onto your shoulders, "I'd say there's about 100 bounty hunters. How about it, Baroque Works? Fancy getting annihilated?"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT NAME?"

' _Pfffffffff, their faces are amazing!'_

" _Try and be serious, Missy."_

"A while back when I was still in this line of work, your organisation sent a Mr Seven to talk with me…I refused of course."

The agents paled as they suddenly realised what had happened.

"And I would be surprised if your Boss didn't try to recruit me," You leant forwards, "I'm quite notorious after all."

"The members know nothing about each other and call each other by codenames. And of course, the Boss' location and identity are a secret even to the members." Zoro tilted his head, "A criminal organisation that faithfully carries out its orders."

"That's Baroque Works for you."

The two of you leered down at them, "Why, was it supposed to be a secret?"

"This is...surprising," Mr Eight growled, "Since you know our little secret, we have no choice but to eliminate you." He smiled grimly, "And then, we will add another gravestone to the Cactus Rocks."

' _Oh so that's what they were.'_

" _It is a town full of bounty hunters after all."_

He grinned before raising his head and pointing at the rooftop you were on, "KILL THEM!" His jaw dropped.

Well, everyone's jaws dropped.

"T-they disappeared!" Miss Wednesday took a step back.

In reality, you and Zoro had nimbly scattered to either side of the square whilst Mr Eight had been talking. You made eye contact with him on the opposite side.

He grinned childishly.

You did the same back

' _Time for some real fun!'_


	11. Playtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, I would wield THE FIST OF LOVE!

"Th-they're gone!" Mr Nine looked around frantically, trying to catch any glimpse of you or Zoro.

"W-where the hell did they go?" Mr Eight narrowed his eyes as he surveyed the rooftop where you just were. The rest of the bounty hunters were doing much of the same thing, each with a panicked expression of their face.

You resisted the urge to giggle at their discomfort.

' _I now realise how appropriate being called the ship's psycho is.'_

The scythe in your hand tutted disdainfully, " _Honestly Missy, I'm surprised that it's taken you this long to realise that."_

You sighed at yourself before holding a hand above your eyes, "Look Zoro, where did we go?"

"I'm not really sure Missy." He mimicked your action.

Everyone gaped to see both of you calmly standing side by side in the middle of the crowd of armed bounty hunters, as if you had always been standing there. Their eyes pretty much popped out of their sockets as they quickly stepped away from the two of you.

Smirking, Zoro lowered his arm. You did the same, letting out a little giggle.

"Okay…" He tilted his head towards you, "Shall we?"

You grinned, "Why not?"

"Bastards...making fun of us!" A mercenary raised his gun, and the rest followed suit, "FIRE!"

You and Zoro scattered the instant the sound of gunfire echoed around the square. After the dust has settled, the two of you had vanished once more.

"Those idiots," Mr Eight looked disgusted as he looked at the collapsed bounty hunters, "They shot each other!"

Mr Nine cowered behind him, "Th-uh-they disappeared again!"

"Aw, and here I thought that you wanted to see me again," You positioned Mello's blade across his neck. You leant over his shoulder so you were speaking into the quivering man's ear, "That's the message you were putting across when you left our ship, isn't it?"

He screamed. Mr Eight looked around in shock towards you, and the blade of Wado Ichimonji sliced through his curls very close to his head.

Zoro chuckled from somewhere behind Mr Eight, "Let me ask you something. Will adding two graves be enough?"

Your eyes widened slightly, ' _Now that I think about it, Mr Eight only said something about adding only one grave…'_

" _You're right. I think he might have recognised you."_

' _Even so, he should still want me dead. It makes no sense.'_

You giggled as if nothing had happened, "You cocky bastard."

You could hear him smirk.

"There they are! Right here!"

You looked over your shoulder, "Oh it's you from the party. And here I thought we were getting along."

He ignored you and motioned for the others to raise their guns.

As soon as they heard the sound of rifles cocking, Misters Eight and Nine paled.

The latter bawled like a baby, but the blond haired man almost turned blue from fear, "Y-you fools! Are you trying to shoot me too!?" He suddenly pulled out a saxophone from out of nowhere and aimed it over his head, "IGARAPPA!"

Bullets shot out of the saxophone at the gun men, incapacitating them instantly. You and Zoro took advantage of the confusion to dash into a nearby alleyway.

He sighed with relief before looking back at Mr Eight's saxophone, "That thing's a shotgun? It nearly got me."

"It is an odd choice of weapon," You wiped your forehead.

"Have to say," he smirked, "that was a lot of fun."

You nodded, with a large grin on your face. Holding out a hand to him, you tilted your head, "Team up and duel after?"

He shook it firmly, "You're on. I've been meaning to get back at you for ages."

"Oh you're assuming that you're gonna win, Mop-boy? " You shoved him backwards through a door as a rain of bullets descended upon you both, "No chance."

"You're never going to let me forget that aren't you," Even so, he grins at you as he kicks a nearby table up to shield both of you the many oncoming bullets.

"You really should have seen yourself." You jumped out from behind the table and whilst dodging the oncoming bullets managed to cut every gun in two.

Zoro smirked, "Time to finally try you out, Yubashiri!" He cut through the table and together you cut down the the bounty hunters. The swordsman looked appraisingly at his new weapon, "It's light! Nice katana!"

"Quit fangirling over your swords and get over here." You tapped the base of Mello's shaft on the ground, "Going up!"

He grumbled as he put an arm around your shoulders.

"Extend!" The two of you were raised into the air. Once you were the correct height, you leant forwards so you fell towards a nearby rooftop. Zoro jumped off, and you started to retract Mello.

"They're on the roof!"

You noticed the projectile coming when you were still retracting Mello, and had to resort to sliding onto the building on your side to avoid the blast, "Too close!"

" _I didn't register it. Your adrenaline level is too low."_

You huffed in disdain.

"End of the line!" The man who had just shot at you raised his bazooka.

Miss Monday threw a barrel of the island wine at you from a neighbouring building. Zoro quickly cut it into four and each segment hit a bounty hunter in the face.

"Although it's not the best I've ever tasted," You straightened your back with a sigh, "But wasting any sort of liquor is a disgrace."

"I thought it was a good wine."

"It was decent. Time stealer!" You cut through the cement mallet of the bounty hunter sneaking up behind you. Before you could do anything else, you had to jerk your head aside to avoid the blade that cut the bounty hunter in the face.

Zoro glared furiously at Kitetsu III, "What kind of response was that!? What an overwhelming bloodlust! A meitou is only supposed to cut when its master commands..."

"Well," You arced Mello in the air and dispatched another set of bounty hunters, "It seems you have a problem child, then."

"Is this what it means to own a cursed blade?"

A child with a dagger ran up. When he couldn't hit either of you, he fell and shuffled backwards. A nun embraced him and started mumbling for forgiveness. She clasped her cross.

You slammed them unconscious with Mello's shaft, "No offence sister, but you guys are really underestimating us if you think that sorta thing would work." You smirked, "Besides…"

"You're supposed to use the innocent act against kind-hearted people," Zoro tossed the booby-trapped cross away. "We're using the ladders this time." He smirked, "I have a plan."

You quickly scaled the ladders to the top of the tallest building, a huge crowd of bounty hunters hot on your tail.

"Okay, top of the building." You looked down at the swarm of people, "Now what?"

He put a foot against the ladder and grinned.

Smirking as you realised his aim, you mirrored his action., "Oh you're good…"

As soon as the first bounty hunter poked his head over the top of the ladder, you and Zoro pushed it away slightly with your feet.

"No! Please don't…!" Sweat dripped down the poor man's brow as the two of you kicked the ladder backwards, throwing off all of the bounty hunters riding onto the hordes of men below.

You giggled, "Oh did you see his face? Priceless!"

Zoro smirked at you as he ran off the roof, using the falling ladder to jump to the adjacent building into a throng of new fighters. "Two sword style...Hawk Wave!" You saw a cloud of smoke appear.

"Show off...Mello, Grapple and Retract!" You quickly joined him and you sliced the floor in a circle under your feet as soon as you landed. Some bounty hunters jumped down as if to ambush you, and you walked towards Zoro, "Now I wouldn't land there if I were you." They fell through the roof.

Zoro ducked as Miss Monday swiped across with the ladder. She huffed as she shot a glance in your direction, "You're lucky Boss still wants you to join. They're going to be very happy that you're not dead like the rumours say."

Your eyes narrowed, ' _So we were right…I really hate it when this happens.'_

Zoro had evidently realised the same, and frowned slightly.

"Sorry, but I didn't like the code name," You tilted your head and tapped your chin in mock thought, "But I suppose it's better than being named after Monday. Such an awful day of the week."

She slid on an iron knuckle duster, "Don't get too cocky! No man can defeat me with strength alone."

"This is the moment where I should say, 'But what about a woman's strength' or something and beat your ass," You shrugged, "But I can honestly say that Zoro would be a better match. I'm not one for brute strength." Smirking over your shoulder, you hopped off the building, "You'd better not die before our duel, you hear."

You heard him laugh mockingly as you descended.

Rolling as you hit the ground, you picked yourself up and sauntered over to where Misters Eight and Nine and Miss Wednesday were watching Zoro's battle.

"What a wagh-" Mr Eight cleared his throat, "Ma~ma~What a waste of time. But it looks like they're finally finished."

"It's the end."

"Precis-WHAAAAAAAAAA!" They turned to see you leaning casually on Mello.

You pointed at the raising cloud of smoke, "Make sure you pay attention now."

The high pitched scream made the agents eyes widen further. Zoro, with blood trickling down his head, had Miss Monday's head in his hand. She screamed louder as the swordsman muttered something. You were too far away to hear what, but you assumed that he was being as cocky as normal. The muscular woman collapsed unconscious.

The swordsman turned towards you and the agents as he licked away the blood near his mouth, "Wanna keep going, Baroque Works. This fight's a joke."

You giggled at their horrified faces.

"He defeated Miss Monday in a battle of strength!" The minions you hadn't defeated started to inch away, "This can't be happening."

You dashed behind them in an instant, "Where do you think you're going, huh?" You giggled harder, "After all, I can't let Mop-boy steal all the fun, now can I?" You quickly incapacitated the final bounty hunters before they could run. Turning to the agents again, you smirked, "Only three left."

Mr Eight shook, "I've got it! The marines must have made a mistake on the wanted poster! This man must be the real captain!"

You shrugged, "Nah they got it right." Thinking of Luffy, you smiled, "That boy's going to do great things someday, I can tell."

Me Eight grimaced, "But even so, this is a disgrace! Losing to a pirate swordsman and...a woman."

You raised an eyebrow, "Now that was a cover up if I ever saw one. I take it you haven't told those two newbies who I am yet."

They looked curiously at Mr Eight who started sweating.

"Surely it doesn't matter," Miss Wednesday turned to Mr Nine, "Now it seems we finally get our chance to debut."

Mr Nine looked less certain, "Don't be too hasty, Miss Wednesday." Shakily he turned to look at you, "So...who are you."

"The person who would have been Miss Hallows Eve," You smirked as you leant forwards on Mello, "Mr Two's partner."

Their jaws dropped, and they fell over sideways.

You pouted, "I thought you guys would have a little bit of backbone at least."

Zoro crouched down on the rooftop, resting a sword on his shoulder, "Normally I would say there's no point bragging in the middle of a battle." He smirked, "But you, Missy, are an exception."

"As well as yourself evidently."

He shrugged with a satisfied smile on his face.

"H-hang on!" Mr Nine got back to his feet and pointed at you, "HE CALLED YOU MISSY!"

"Yeah," You rubbed the back of your head with your free hand, "It's a little annoying, but I guess I deserve it."

"YOU'RE MISSY SAI!"

Miss Wednesday shuffled away in horror. Mr Eight frowned.

Deadpanning, you stared at him, "You really hadn't noticed already. Who else fights with a black scythe?"

"BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!"

"Missing actually, I never died. Just took an extended holiday."

Mr Eight grimaced before putting his saxophone to his lips and aiming the bell at Zoro, "IGARAPPA!"

The swordsman dodged effortlessly.

The Agent glared at Miss Wednesday and Mr Nine, "You two have already failed once, and we know what happens to people who fail now don't we." His eyes narrowed, "Now get to work."

Mr Nine grimaced and started to hop up the building to attack Zoro. Miss Wednesday stood and nodded a little shakily, before whistling, "Come, Carue!"

"Quaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"NOT SHAKE! I SAID GET OVER HERE!"

" _That's a Super Spot-Billed Duck if I'm not mistaken."_ Mello mused as Miss Wenesday screamed at the poor creature, " _How strange, I thought that they only guard the royal family of Alabasta..."_

' _Huh, really?'_

" _If you were actually awake when we were forced on guard duty for the Council of Kings, you would know. Those ducks accompanied them."_

' _It was so dull though.'_

Mello was silent for a bit, " _But that implies that Miss Wednesday is in fact Princess Nefertari Vivi of Alabasta, if she can call the creature. Their hair is the same colour..."_

' _Even if that's true, why is she here?'_  You tapped your chin, before pointing at the woman. She was riding the duck as if it was a horse.

"Now, let's show that woman your faster-than-leopard speed!"

"Quaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" The duck promptly sat down, much to the dismay of the rider.

Seizing the opportunity, you crouched down next to the woman and muttered softly, "In all seriousness, can I ask something, Vivi?"

"If you think that you will distract me in battle by asking me…" She paled as she realised what you actually said.

You smirked, "So you really are the princess from Alabasta, huh."

"What?" Sweat dripped down her forehead, "No...I don't know what you're talking about. I...uh...just have the same name as her. Yes that's it. Same name!" She chuckled nervously.

Holding eye contact, you deadpanned whilst pointing at the duck, "It's a little obvious if you keep that around. Mello figured it out relatively easily."

You felt the scythe beam with pride.

She glanced a defeated look at Mr Eight, "She knows, Igaram."

He recoiled, before marching over to you and whispering menacingly in your ear, "If you tell anyone about our princess…"

You raised your hands, and recalled Mello, "I'm not going to tell anyone. See," You tapped your back, "No weapon!"

"Missy, what the hell're you doing!" Zoro quickly jumped down off the rooftop with an unconscious Mr Nine, a look of panic on his face as he ran over.

"It's fine, Mop-boy." You sighed, "I just uncovered a little secret, that's all."

He stopped dead once he noticed the expressions of the two agents, before walking over to a barrel of wine and starting to drink.

" _Mind if I talk to them? I want to figure out what's going on."_

You nodded, before turning to the two in front of you, "Is it alright if my scythe talks to you for a bit. He's better at this detective stuff than I am."

Miss Wednesday and Mr Eight, or rather Vivi and Igaram, shared a curious look before nodding their agreement.

Closing your eyes, you let Mello take over.

"Please, I realise that this is a little overwhelming, but may I ask you both some questions." As the black eyes opened and your body spoke with a male voice, Vivi and Igaram recoiled.

Mello chuckled softly, "My apologies, where are my manners." He held out a hand, "I am Mellontas, Missy's scythe. I merely exchanged places with her consciousness, an ability which she neglected to mention."

' _Hehehe...Sorry.'_

Igaram shook it dumbfoundedly.

"Now, back to the original question," He sat on a nearby crate, cradling his head in his palms, "I'm assuming that Alabasta has not allied themselves with Baroque Works..."

Vivi adamantly shook her head.

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, "As expected. It didn't seem like the sort of nation which would condone behaviour like this. So," He tilted his head, "why are you here, Princess Vivi?"

The dark eyes widened just before an explosion blew you through a building.

"Oww...my ears!" You sat up groggily. ' _You okay, Mello?'_

" _I'm fine, our consciousnesses just got thrown back to where they normally would be. I would be worrying about yourself, we have company."_

Dabbing under your eyes, you notice that your fingers come away dipped in black, ' _Oh no...'_

"Black blood, huh? So it seems you really are Missy Sai."

"KYAHAHAHAHA! Or we say, Saioney (y/n), right? Well, don't you look frightful!"

The blond woman laughed again, twirling her lime green umbrella over her shoulder. Her partner tilted his head as you stumbled out of the gaping hole, the moonlight reflecting off his shades.

You gestured at his brown trench coat, "Mr Five I presume."

He raised an eyebrow, "How did you know my code name?"

You facepalmed.

" _The number. Is printed. ON HIS TRENCH COAT!"_

' _Calm down…'_

" _If they are number agents, they should at least have some brains."_ He huffed.

"Well, she is a Saioney after all," The blond woman smiled humorlessly at you, "I wonder if you can guess who I am?"

"Miss...Lemon?"

"KYAHAHAHAHA! You're funny." Her eyes clearly told you that you weren't.

"Miss Valentine…" Igaram took a protective step towards Vivi.

Mr Five grimaced, "And you two…" Mr Nine crawled out of an alleyway with Miss Monday and collapsed, "...four. Are you guys kidding or what?"

Miss Valentine laughed again. That laugh was quickly getting on your nerves. "You let two people walk all over you." Her eyes narrowed, "But it does make our mission easier."

Vivi and Igaram flinched. Your shared a look with Zoro, who nonchalantly continued to drink from the barrel.

The dark man grinned, "It seems you know what we're talkin' about. The Boss' exact words were: 'Someone knows my secret.' Just what that secret is of course, even I don't know. But our organization's primary directive is 'Secrecy'. Therefore we do not tolerate any kind of investigation into the identity of our members."

"Um…" You pointed to yourself, "But you all know who I am, right?"

He grimaced, "You're untrustworthy, Missy Sai. Boss wants to recruit you, but he needs us to keep you in check. He only told agents Eight and below to keep an eye out for you, just in case you…" His shades gleamed, "Resist."

You winced.

"But you being here is just a piece of good luck, KYAHAHAHAHA!" The blond woman leant over, "We're really here for those two," She pointed at Igaram and Vivi, "But Boss offered a promotion to whoever bought you in."

"If you think we're gonna let go of our ship's psycho that easily, be prepared for an ass kicking."

You grinned at him, wiping the blood off your face, "Thanks Mop-boy, but I can take care of myself."

Zoro smirked as he moved to stand next to you, "Believe me, I know." He partially unsheathed one of his swords, "But what sort of friend would I be if I just let you get taken."

You beamed.

"This is touchin' an all..." Mr Five picked his nose, "But we need to finish our mission. Captain of the Alabasta Royal Guard, Igaram, and Princess Nefertari Vivi. Prepare to be eliminated." He tilted his head at you, "And Saioney (y/n), you're coming with us. Willingly or otherwise."

Miss Valentine laughed.


	12. Well that was anticlimactic...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, I would be a part of Whitebeard's family.

"Saioney (y/n), you're coming with us. Willingly or otherwise."

You grimaced, ' _I really, REALLY hate being me sometimes…'_

Zoro muttered softly so you could barely hear him, "Any ideas?"

" _I suspect that at least one of them is a devil fruit user. That explosion earlier...there's no smell of gunpowder or any other explosive, and they don't seem to be carrying anything other than that umbrella. However...it is difficult to tell with that trench coat."_

You relayed the information, and the swordsman nodded in understanding, "What about that woman? She must have a devil fruit, right? She's only carrying an umbrella…"

"I agree about the devil fruit, but never underestimate the combat capability of an umbrella," you shivered, "Especially if it's been reinforced…"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Don't ask." Looking at the building where the rest of the crew, without Nami, were still sleeping, you crossed your arms, "As soon as we split, go get the rest and get ready to leave, and fast."

"But what about-"

"KYAHAHAHAHAHA!" Miss Valentine took a step forward, "What are you two mumbling about?" Her grin froze on her face, "I hope you're not thinking about resisting us, KYAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"IGARAPPAPPA!" Igaram pulled down on his bow tie and guns fired from out of the massive curls in his hair. A massive explosion formed around the two five agents.

You and Zoro gaped at the man.

" _Now that is resourceful…"_

"You won't lay a finger on the princess! On my name as Captain of the Alabasta Royal Guard."

"Igaram!" Vivi recoiled from behind him.

As the smoke cleared, it was obvious that both of them were just fine. Mr Five continued to pick his nose, "Oh, you shouldn't have done that." He flicked his finger at Igaram, "NOSE FANCY!"

Your eyes widened, "Everyone, get down!"

Vivi stared blankly at you until you ran over and slammed her to the ground. Thankfully, Zoro had actually taken your advice, and had dove to the side as soon as the words had left your mouth.

Unfortunately you were unable to get to Igaram, who was lit up for a moment, before crashing to the ground in a sequence of explosions. He collapsed.

"Igaram!"

"That's some powerful snot!" Zoro stuck up his head from behind some barrels and grimaced.

You nodded, before turning to the curly haired man, "You alright?"

Igaram grimaced, "The princess...is fine...which is all that matters."

She shakily stood up, and you smiled, "We're in the same boat...sorta. It's fine."

"So that's why the Boss wants you. I'm almost impressed. KYAHAHAHAHA!" You looked up in horror. Miss Valentine was floating in the air under her umbrella. Suddenly she dropped down and performed a high kick at Vivi. The bangle that held up her hair snapped, and the blue locks fell down around her furious face. Out of a hidden pocket, she whipped out two small blades on strings and started to spin them around her finger.

Miss Valentine dropped down next to Mr Five wordlessly.

" _Interesting...I've never seen a devil fruit like that one before. Most likely a Paramecia, since there didn't seem to be disturbances to the air… "_

' _We'll find out soon enough. She seems the bragging type.'_

"So you really are a princess, Miss Wednesday!" Mr Nine had regained consciousness and was prostrating himself before Vivi.

She did not seem amused, "STOP BEING RIDICULOUS, MR NINE!"

' _If she met Nami, they'd get along like a house on fire...Many houses on fire...'_

You looked over to Zoro and inclined your head slightly. He grimaced before returning the nod and running off.

"KYAHAHAHAHA! Resigning to your fate already!" She laughed, "Just as well!"

"Sorry," You summoned Mello once more, "But I'm not a firm believer in fate."

' _I'm guessing that we should move somewhere where I can fight for real.'_

" _That is the ideal situation. We may not get that opportunity."_

Mr Five grimaced, "Wrong choice, Missy Sai."

"Princess...Vivi!" Igaram straightened, "Please...get as far away from here as you can."

You turned to the four other people and the duck, "All of you should run. You two," You pointed at Igaram and Vivi, "need to get out of here. I'm assuming you have something planned."

They nodded blankly.

You pointed to Mr Nine and and a recovered Miss Monday, "Oh hey, you're awake. Sorry bout that. Anyhow, you guys protect them if I fail here. From what I know about Baroque Works, chances are you're going to be killed anyways for failing your mission. Might as well make it for something that counts."

"Of course." Mr Nine grinned, "We can't even begin to understand the circumstances...but because of me and Miss Wednesday's long term relationship as partners, I'll make sure to buy them some time."

Vivi teared up, "Mr...Nine…"

"It's just as you said," Miss Monday slid on her knuckle duster, "For losing to you two superhumans, we'll be punished for failing. I'd gladly suffer to be a shield for a friend."

"Miss...Monday..."

"Excellent," You got into a combat pose, "I'm also a target, so I'll stay here to hold them off."

The large woman frowned, "Is that wise? You said that you couldn't beat me, and these two are far stronger."

You smirked, "Oh I never said I couldn't beat you, only that without any help from Mello I didn't have your physical strength and our swordsman did. Remember who I am after all. I wiped out the populations of islands." Your smirk took a darker note, "If I had seriously fought anyone here for real, you all probably would be either dead, or nearing death right now."

The entire group behind you recoiled.

"So get moving already."

They spirited away, the wounded Igaram riding Carue and the others on foot.

"KYAHAHAHA! As if I'd let you get away that easily." Miss Valentine hopped into the air and started to float towards the retreating figures.

"I could say the same to you! Mello, Restrain!" He extended and his blade curled its way around her entire body. She gasped as the sharp blade drew blood wherever it touched.

"What the-"

You threw her down into the ground as hard as you could, a little surprised when it was relatively light for an adult woman.

" _I think I know her devil fruit!"_

' _Would it be something about weight by any chance…'_

" _It is. I suspect it's the kilo-kilo fruit, which allows the user to change their mass to anything between one and ten thousand kilograms. I also think that this Mr Five has eaten the bomb-bomb fruit…"_

' _Original names as always…Thanks for the heads up.'_

Miss Valentine sat up relatively unharmed, her smile wiped from her face, "You brat…TEN THOUSAND KILOGRAMS!" The ground underneath her suddenly cracked.

" _I was right."_

' _Oh goody…'_

Mr Five held out a finger with...something...on and prepared to flick it towards you, "Allow me, Miss Valentine. NOSE FANCY CANNON!"

"Mello, Strengthen!"

Suddenly your arms and back turned black and you used Mello to pick up the now immensely heavy Miss Valentine. Smirking, you turned and held her directly in the path of the oncoming projectile.

"NO! PLEASE DON'T! I'LL DO ANYTHI-" She screamed in panic, as she faced the 'nose fancy'.

Mr Five's mouth dropped as his partner exploded in a cloud of black smoke and shrieks. After the smoke cleared, a blackened and bloodied Miss Valentine hung limply from the end of Mello's blade. Your arms returned back to their normal colour.

You rested Mello on your shoulder, and giggled, "Not quite my idea of fun, but I suppose this is a bit like justice, huh." You released Miss Valentine, and she fell to the ground unconscious, "Count yourself lucky I vowed to myself not to needlessly kill anymore.

Mr Five fumbled inside his coat for a moment, before bringing out a gun. Shaking slightly, he unclicked the cylinder and breathed inside before clicking the it back.

" _If I'm not mistaken, that's a flintlock right Missy. You know weapons better than me."_

' _It is, a .44 caliber 6 shot revolver with rapid fire capabilities to boot. Must've cost a ton.'_

" _And since he's breathing into it...I have a hunch that…"_

Instinctively, you dodged six times in different directions as the man fired the gun. Behind you, the building became riddled with six explosions.

' _Guess what, you're right like usual.'_

You shuffled forwards as the smoke cleared, "Not really that impressed if I'm honest. You would be dead if you weren't in this part of the Grand Line…" You pouted, "So much for getting serious…I could do this with my eyes closed"

He winced slightly, "I don't think so...If you so much as touch any part of my body you're gonna explode. You may have taken down my partner, but I'm a different story."

"Really?" You raised an eyebrow, "I'd like to test that theory. Mellontas, Guillotine!" You swung Mello in an arc, and his blade changed shape into something rectangular. You twisted the shaft, and hit Mr Five in the back of the neck with the blunted side.

As he said, there was an explosion, and you winced as blood trailed out of your left eye. You

sighed as the man fell to the ground limply and recalled Mello, "Well that was dull...I think even Eric was better than those two…"

" _I'm inclined to agree."_

' _This guy had so much potential as well. Explosive body, which he can turn on and off at will. Even explosive breath...which means explosive invisible bullets. That's some devil fruit...'_

" _It would be if he was using it to its full potential...so many more things he could do than flicking snot like a child. Evidently a new user, who has let his new ability get to his head."_

' _Definitely.'_ You sauntered off to try and find your crewmates, ' _The explosions weren't even that powerful. I've seen Apis create bigger ones in Sanji's kitchen. All the buildings here are still intact."_

" _Again, that is very true."_

' _Sorry about the explosion by the way. I felt that one.'_

" _It was nothing too problematic, as you said."_

"Huh, (y/n)?" You looked up to see Nami, Vivi, Luffy and Zoro crouching in a back alley. Luffy was back to his normal physique, and he and Zoro were both sporting impressive bruises.

"Oh hey guys," You slumped down next to Vivi and sighed..

She stared at your dripping eye, "So did you escape from Mr Five and Miss Valentine easily?"

You groaned, "Oh gimme a break. Those losers weren't even worth my time."

"So wait," Her eyes widened, "They're…"

"Having a nice little nap." You grimaced as you turned to Luffy and Zoro, ignoring the incredulous Vivi, "You two could defeat them in one hit," You pointed at their injured faces, "But what happened here? Did another set of agents show up?"

Luffy giggled, "Oh I thought that you and Zoro beat everyone up because they didn't have your favourite sorts of meat. So I attacked him."

The swordsman grumbled under his breath, and you facepalmed.

"Anyhow, we still need to sort out a contract." Nami grinned at Vivi in anticipation, "We want one billion Bellies to escort you to Alabasta safely. You saw how strong these guys are, right? Quite a bargain, don't you think?" She raised an eyebrow at the poor girl.

Vivi slumped, "Impossible…You have my gratitude for saving my life, thank you."

"Why not?" Nami put her hands on her hips indignantly, "You're a princess, aren't you? It's just a measly billion..."

" _A measly billion she says...a measly billion…As if it's nothing..."_

Vivi frowned before telling you all about Alabasta. How it used to be a great pillar of civilization and a land of peace, but now was on the verge of civil war. And how she had discovered that this civil war was being spurred on by Baroque Works.

"So I decided to infiltrate Baroque Works with Igaram, who had looked after me since I was a girl." She clenched her hands, "I thought that if I did, I could find out who was pulling the strings, and what his plans were."

"Pretty gutsy for a princess," Zoro smirked.

You grinned, "That's for sure. And you found out didn't you." Your face fell, "About what he was planning."

Nami frowned, "The establishment of an Ideal Nation." At the bermused expressions, she shrugged, "Igaram told me earlier. Could it be that…"

"Yes," Her head drooped, "He claims that establishing this 'Ideal Nation' is their purpose. But that is a complete lie." Vivi furrowed her brows, "His true intention is to seize the throne of Alabasta!"

Everyone's eyes widened, and Luffy leant forwards slightly.

"I must return to my country to tell the people the truth, and prevent them from joining the insurrection. If this continues...if this...continues…" She started to sniffle.

Shuffling over slightly, you reached round and hugged her, "You don't need to say it. We know."

She melted into your embrace, and tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I see, so that's what's going on." Nami tsked disdainfully, "It finally makes sense now, if you're on the verge of civil war money must be scarce." She sighed.

"Oi!" Luffy grinned impishly, "So who's the mastermind?"

Vivi sat upright, "The B-Boss' true identity!? You can't ask me that!"

Nami panicked as Luffy looked blankly at Vivi, "But you know, don't you." Zoro grinned.

"Don't ask that! I can't tell you! If I told you, they would hunt you down too!"

Groaning, you massaged your temple, "You just made both those idiots want to know even more. And now, thanks to you, I know exactly who he is…"

She paled and slowly turned to face you, "But...how?"

"If you had kept going just then, you were about to blurt out his name for everyone to hear." You sighed, "I'll explain later, but if you me want to verify who I'm thinking of, nose scar and gold hook?"

"Yeah...that's an accurate description of Crocodile alright."

"Oh my…" You facepalmed as the two women screamed silently, "I tried people! I tried!"

"Who's that?" Luffy cocked his head.

Zoro slumped, "After all that...you said it…"

Suddenly, you realised that you were not alone. On the roof to the side, a vulture and an otter sat side by side, watching you silently before flying off.

Nami flew into a rage, shaking a sobbing Vivi vigorously.

"So," Luffy turned to you, "Who is he?"

You moved away from the scuffle to sit next to him, "He's one of the warlords with a previous bounty of 80,000,000. Don't actually know anything else about him apart from his basic appearance. Most of the warlords are secretive after all."

"A warlord!" His eyes sparkled.

"Not bad bounty either." The swordsman grinned.

You shrugged, "He was after me to begin with, so you guys would've been on the hit list no matter what. I say let's just go and make his life hell."

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAH!"

"YOU GUYS ARE BEING TOO CALM ABOUT THIS!" Nami stormed out of the alleyway, "Though it wasn't for long, it's been nice knowing you all!"

The otter sat in front of her with a sketchpad. He turned it round to show you the perfect renditions of you, Nami, Luffy and Zoro before hopping once more on the vulture and soaring off.

"Ha! Neat!" You giggled, "Can you do one for me?"

"NOW I CAN'T EVEN RUN AWAY!"

"Where were you going to run to anyway?" Zoro raised an eyebrow, before smirking, "In any case, us three have been added to the Baroque Works Death List!"

"Huh," Luffy turned to you, "but what 'bout (y/n)?"

"It seems that croccy bastard wants me alive." You grimaced, "He still wants me to join…"

He huffed, "Well he's not gonna! You're our nakama, so you stay with us!"

You grinned, "That's my plan, Cap."

"Do not worry."

Turning around, you almost did a spit take. Igaram had done his best to dress like Vivi, but unfortunately for him his long face and large body made that nearly impossible.

"Fr-huhurm..Ma~ma~maaaaaaa. Fear not, for I have a plan!"

"Haha! Old man, you'll fool anyone wearing that!"

" _Perhaps someone dropped that boy on his head as a child…"_

' _We'll get Caspar to look into it once we find him.'_

"Princess Vivi, please listen carefully." She stood up and faced him, "Baroque Works' information network will soon receive that report. Once they learn we are the ones that know the Boss' true identity, you know what will happen, don't you?"

Vivi's face hardened, "As many as a thousand hunters could be coming after us."

Nami fainted.

Igaram explained his basic decoy plan, and he along with four dummies got into a small boat. Vivi would be coming with you guys on a less roundabout route to Alabasta.

"Ma~ma~maaaa!" The man's voice took on a falsetto tone, "Well then, I, Vivi, shall be leaving now..."

"Old man! You're just like her!"

"Like WHO?" You and Zoro both muttered incredulously.

The two Alabastians looked at each other. Igaram held out his hand, "Now then, princess, please hand me the Eternal Pose."

She flinched, but did as he asked.

You turned to Nami who seemed to understand perfectly, "I see you've been doing a bit of reading."

She winked.

"And with that, I leave the princess in your care."

"Sure," Luffy grinned.

"Igaram…" Vivi looked on the verge of tears once more. You really could sympathise with her, to go through what she had at so young was tough to anyone.

He smiled down warmly, "I think the journey will be dangerous. Please be careful along the way."

Her face was full of many conflicting emotions, until she smiled sadly and held out a hand, "You too…"

He clasped it briefly, before setting sail in the small boat.

_Flames._

You winced, "Oh shit…"

"What's up?" Zoro looked at you curiously.

"I saw-"

You were cut short as a massive ball of flames engulfed the small boat. The explosion was so big, you could feel the warmth on your skin and you raised your arm to block out the blinding light. Your hair whipped past your face and you heard everyone gasp. The very sea was on fire.

"That…" You finished weakly.

" _Someone else is here, we need to get moving, now!"_

Luffy stomped over to his hat, which had blown off, before putting it on, "HE WAS A GREAT MAN!"

"Nami! The Log!"

"It's already set!"

"Grab her and get to the ship!" Zoro grimaced.

She nodded and turned to the princess, muttering something before hugging her tightly

"Mop-boy, did you wake the others?"

He nodded, "Usopp and the cook are on the Merry. They complained a lot, but they're on the Merry."

"Excellent, now everyone," you summoned Mello, "Hold on!"

Luffy's arm snaked around your waist, shoving Zoro, Nami and Vivi into you. Quickly turning towards the general direction of the Merry, you held Mello near the blade

"Mellontas, CANNON!"

" _This really isn't a good idea…"_

' _JUST DO IT!'_

The scythe's shaft retracted a little before rapidly extending and propelling all five of you off the ground and into the air.

Vivi and Nami screamed, "WHAT THE HELL?!"

"It's the fastest route back to the Merry, and we need to get back as soon as possible." Normally you would be enjoying the rush of wind in your face, but the current situation made all enjoyment go out the window. As you started to descend towards the familiar ship, you turned to Luffy.

"So Cap...I...haven't quite figured out the next part." You grinned sweetly, and sweated slightly. "You're all too heavy for Mello to properly decelerate."

The other three stared furiously at you with open mouths.

"DAMN IT MISSY!"

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US?!"

"WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING ABOUT MY WEIGHT?!"

"Huh? Nami...? Priorities…?"

"Shishishi!" Luffy held onto his hat as he let go, "I've got this. Gum-gum, BALLOON!"

You sighed in relief as you collapsed onto the large rubber cushion on the docks next to the Merry and recalled Mello. You felt more blood trickle out of your other eye, "Welp, that's me done for the day. Man, I need to work on my stamina more…"

" _Be grateful you're still alive…"_

Sanji waved from the rigging, "NAMI-SWAN! (y/n)-CHWAN! I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE ALRIGHT! AND IS THAT MISS WEDNESDAY TOO! What are you other assholes doing back so soon?"

"Shut...up...you pervy cook." Zoro groaned as your captain deflated, dropping everyone onto the ground.

Vivi sat up worriedly, "Carue's missing! He should have come when I whistled earlier, but it's not working."

"Is Carue a duck by any chance?" Usopp leant on the railing.

She nodded.

"You mean him?" He pointed at the large creature next to him.

"Quaaaaaa!"

"YOU WERE HERE THE WHOLE TIME?"

"He was already onboard before we got here."

You clapped your hands together before climbing up the rope ladder, "Right that's sorted, now let's get a move on."

The others quickly followed you.

"Alright! Let's goooooo!"

The sail unfurled, and Vivi directed you down the small river.

"So...why are we leaving exactly?" Usopp shuddered slightly as he looked at your blood streaked face, "It was awesome here, but Zoro said that they were all going to kill us."

Sanji lit a cigarette, "Normally I wouldn't trust that filthy marimo, but he told us that (y/n)-chan wanted us on the ship so I had no choice but to obey."

"Nami...care to explain?" You wiped off the blood from your face.

She hit both of them on the head, "Done."

"We're about to clear the island," Vivi muttered.

"Cool! Fog!"

"It'll be morning soon," Nami dusted off her hands.

"Well, it's a good thing you got away from your pursuers!"

You spun around at the unfamiliar voice. Noticing the movement, the rest of the crew did the same and gasped.

"Nice ship…"

The dark haired woman calmly sat on the higher railing, cradling her head in her hand. A purple cowboy hat sat on her head.

Your eyes sparkled as you recognised her, "No way!" Jumping up beside her, you surprised the woman by giving her a massive hug, "You're really Nico Robin, right? I've wanted to meet you for so long!"

Her cool demeanor slipped at the sudden contact, "You're...Missy Sai..."

Below, your crew just stared.

"Eh?"


	13. The joys of Kronos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a heads up, this chapter gets dark quite quickly. It's not over described, but still is a little gorey. For those with vivid imaginations, skip the section with repeated words and capitals.
> 
> I don't own one piece. If I did, I would own a supersonic duck.

"Why the hell are you on my ship?" Luffy pointed furiously up at the woman on the railing.

"Be careful!" Vivi growled from below, "That's Miss All-Sunday! Mr Zero's partner!"

Nami screamed and Zoro's hand inched towards his blades.

Much to their surprise, you laughed, "That seems like something I'd expect from Nico Robin. After all," you broke the embrace and instead moved to sit next to her, "from what I've heard there's a poneglyph in Alabasta, isn't there."

The dark haired woman stared at you, "You know about the poneglyphs?"

"How could I not." You smiled sadly, "Mello told me as much as he could about my heritage and my siblings, biological or not.."

"Mello...You're part of Kronos…" Robin gazed at you curiously, tapping her chin, "So that's why he wants you so badly…"

Your crewmates stared at the two of you in shock.

You turned to them, "It's alright. She's kinda like me, apart from forced into a life of crime rather than with the World Government."

"So she's a good guy then?" Luffy scratched his hat.

Vivi glared at him.

Robin tilted back her head, "So you were forced to work for the World Government...That actually makes a surprising amount of sense. I did find it curious that islands who defied the World Government suddenly disappearing off the map thanks to a young assassin with no clear motivations, not even enjoyment. Especially since you seem to know so much about me…"

"They showed me your criminal files once I turned 15." You smirked, "I suppose that they thought that I was completely loyal to them after all that time. They had no idea that Mello told me as much as he could about Poneglyphs and the descendants of Ohara."

She winced.

"That was when I realised the true 'justice' of what I was doing, and decided to go off the map." You leant forwards, mumbling so only the two of you could hear, "You had it far worse than I did. My home burned when I had just been born, so I had no real emotional attachment. You had to deal with that pain when you were only 8, losing your family, friends and home in one fell swoop. Even then, I would have gone insane without Mello, but you...had no one." You scratched the back of your neck in embarrassment, "You were so similar to me, but you had gone through so much pain, and pain that  _I_  was now inflicting on other people. I am so, so sorry for what you have experienced, and I'm so very grateful that you stopped me when you did."

Robin stiffened, before chuckling softly, "I'm honoured, Missy. Although I don't quite think I deserve such thanks, or such a genuine apology." She crossed her legs, "I have done nothing noteworthy after all."

" _NOTEWORTHY?!_ SHE'S ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO IS HELPING TO TEAR MY COUNTRY APART!" Vivi snapped, waving her hands frantically.

Robin at once readopted her enigmatic smile, "Why hello, Princess Nefertari Vivi. I was enjoying my little conversation with Missy so much, I completely forgot about the rest of you."

Vivi glared daggers, "You were the one who we followed to Mr Zero, and I'm absolutely certain that you knew that you were being tailed. Just what exactly are your intentions?"

Robin sighed, "Who knows? Let's say I found you a curiosity, miss princess. You were so serious about finding the Boss' identity, I just  _had_  to cooperate."

"But you were the one who informed him about his exposed identity!"

"Correct."

"So she  _is_  the bad guy…" You stifled your giggles at the impressive expression on Luffy's face. Oh the joys of being made of rubber.

Zoro sweatdropped, "Just stay out of it."

Robin frowned for a moment, before tossing something to Vivi. She caught it deftly, a look of shock appearing as she realised what it was.

"Really, don't be un such a rush. I'm not under any orders at the moment. I already was intending to give you this, but now I am far more inclined to do so. This is an eternal pose to Nanimonai, an island just short of Alabasta. With this you can avoid the next island without any risk of Baroque Works following; none of the members know the route." She turned to you, "You have heard of Little Garden, yes?"

"I don't actually. Never got sent there on a job." You shrugged, "I only really researched places that I had to go to."

"That seems reasonable."

Nami stared at the woman incredulously, "You're helping us?"

"Why are you doing this?" Vivi pleaded as she clutched the eternal pose.

"I guess you could say it is merely to sate my own curiosity," Robin draped an arm over your shoulder.

"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF (y/n)-CHAN!" Sanji appeared to your right with a gun aimed at Robin's head.

Usopp had his slingshot raised on your other side, "Oi Sanji. Any idea what's going on?"

The cook's eyes were bloodshot, "Not a clue, BUT THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ALLOWED TO DO THAT TO THE SWEET MADEMOISELLE IS ME!"

"Not a chance, Flirty!" You stuck out your tongue, "Up your flirting game first, and then I'll consider it."

"AS YOU WISH, (y/n)-CHWAN~!"

"...You really have a long way to go."

"Would you mind not pointing such dangerous things at me?" Robin sighed, irked.

Your eyebrows shot up your head in wonder as Usopp and Sanji were thrown into the air and over the railing seemingly without being touched.

The cook's anger immediately dissipated as he lay face up on the deck, "Oh! Looking from here, that's one beautiful lady! Nothing on (y/n)-chan's sexyness, but still beautiful."

You grimaced.

Luffy's face had been shaded by his hat for some time. He stomped over to Vivi and crushed the eternal pose, "Who the hell gives a crap!?"

"YOU IDIOT!" Nami kicked him squarely in the jaw and he collapsed backwards, "She just told us the best way to go! She was trying to help us!"

Sprawled on the floor, Luffy shot an angry look up at Robin, "You don't decide the route for this ship!"

She maintained eye contact before tilting her head, "Oh. How unfortunate." She smiled as she turned to you, "I hope you don't mind this, little Missy."

"Nah, I was already expecting him to do that." You smirked, "This way is funner anyways."

"Oh?" Something unknown glinted in her eyes as Robin swung her legs off the railing, "I suppose to people like us, some form of enjoyment can be obtained." Walking over to the side of the Merry, she paused to face Vivi, "Out of decency, I shall mention that although I met with Mr Eight earlier he somehow managed to survive."

Vivi's shoulders relaxed, and she smiled in relief.

"Well, I don't hate those with high spirits. If you survive," Robin looked over her shoulder at Luffy, "Let's meet again."

"No!"

" _He's acting like a child…"_

A glimmer of amusement appeared on Robin's face before she nimbly jumped over the port side of the Merry, "Let's go, Banchi."

"W-what's that?" Zoro leant over the side to see a massive cigar smoking beast sail off into the sunset with Robin sitting under an unfurled canopy.

"Is that thing a sea king?" Usopp spluttered.

You grinned as you dashed to the stern, "Nah, that's a turtle! Now that is how you travel in style!"

"EEEEEEH? IT'S A TURTLE!"

A rubber arm snaked around your waist and Luffy quickly zoomed over to stand next to you, "That is one HUGE turtle!"

Behind you, Vivi collapsed to her knees with a sigh, "That woman…! I can't understand what she's thinking!"

"Then trying to understand is a waste of time." Nami raised her eyebrows in sympathy.

"Yeah, we got people like that on the ship already."

"Mop-boy...I swear if you're talking about me…" You karate chopped him on the head, and instantly regretted it. "OW! What the heck is that thing made of? Solid bone?"

"Oi!" Usopp shook looking from side to side, "Someone please explain all this? I have no idea what's going on!"

"Oh~! Miss Wednesday, are you one of our nakama now?"

"OI! Will someone explain… WOAH! We've got an OSTRICH now!?"

"QUAAAAAAAA!"

"Oi...what's going on?"

"Would you like something to eat?"

"Quaaaa!"

"Something with sugar, Flirty."

"Oooh, that sounds nice, same for me please."

"As you wish Miss Wednesday~!"

"SOMEONE EXPLAIN ALL THIS!"

* * *

"I see. I have done something inexcusable, but I still have yet to show my abilities. It's all right now. Your sleeping knight has awakened, and I will make it my duty to ensure your safety."

"I dunno, Flirty," You held out the thoroughly scraped plate, "I think your cooking abilities have been demonstrated well enough. Seconds please."

"OF COURSE (y/n)-CHWAN! I'LL WHIP SOMETHING UP JUST FOR YOOOOU~!"

The swordsman next you made a gagging motion and you giggled.

Usopp's face was drenched in sweat, "Damn…! I'm glad I was asleep!"

"I got to test out my new swords, and Missy probably needed the warm-up." Zoro smirked as he slumped back, "It was easy."

"You can say that again...What a let down," you pouted.

"I wonder..."

You glanced over to Vivi by the figurehead. After changing out of her 'Miss Wednesday' get up, there was nothing of the bitchy persona there. You really had to commend her acting skills.

She looked down as she fiddled with her shirt button, "...is it really alright for me to be aboard your ship? I don't want to be a burden..."

"What are you talking about," Nami stormed over and poked her in the forehead, "Thanks to you, we're all marked for death."

"Actually as soon as I became a part of your crew, that had already happened!" You grinned broadly, "At least it's only a small-ish criminal organization rather than the World Government, right?"

Nami slumped to the deck as a dark shadow fell over her, "Right...how could I forget that...But this time they know what I look like..."

"I'm sorry!" The princess squeaked.

"In any case, we know our next stop."

"Well aren't you changing the subject, Mop-boy."

"Oh you shuddup!"

Sanji puffed out a line of smoke, "Little Garden, eh?" He turned to you, "That lovely woman seemed to think that you would know about it. Do you have any idea why?"

"Not really," You sighed as you shifted your weight back, "I suppose there might have been some targets that are on there or something…Nothing my department was interested in."

"Huuuuuh?" Luffy raised an eyebrow from where he was precariously balancing on the railing, "Your department?"

"There were more of you?" Usopp tilted his head in thought.

You chuckled softly, "I am a freak of nature after all. They couldn't exactly let me run around on my own, so they obviously put me with the rest of the assassins."

Vivi started, "Hang on. The World Government has a department...of assassins?"

"Ah…forgot that was highly classified information. Oopsy."

" _Missy, you idiot."_

"Oopsy? OOPSY?! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Nami dashed over to you and shook your shoulders violently,

Usopp jumped three feet into the air, "YOU JUST LET SLIP ONE OF THE WORLD GOVERNMENT'S GREATEST SECRETS AS IF IT'S NOTHING!"

"I  _AM_ ONE OF THE WORLD GOVERNMENT'S GREATEST SECRETS!"

"...alright." Nami suddenly stopped shaking you and let the tears cascade down her cheeks, "I guess they already wanted us dead anyway."

You huffed, "Besides, most people in the Grand Line have actually heard of CP9, even if just a story to scare kids, so I wouldn't really call it one of the world's greatest secrets."

Vivi slumped down on the deck, "Those monsters...are actually real?" Her eyes hollowed, "No...way…"

Carue just stood in the same place he had been, sweat dripping down his entire body.

Luffy's head stretched over, an excited grin plastered on his face, "So they're really strong huh?"

"Now that's an understatement if ever I heard one. They wouldn't leave me with people who couldn't instantly incapacitate me if I ever decided to betray them." You shivered, "If we faced them now, we would be wiped out in seconds."

Zoro's eyes narrowed, "That bad?"

You nodded, "They're the World Governments hitmen, trained from childhood to become the perfect little killing machines." You shot a sideways glance at the swordsman, "I grew up with them, so believe me I  _know_ just how powerful they can be." You stared up at the blue sky and let out a tired laugh, "I'm screwed if I see them again, locked up or worse."

Luffy's body shot over and barreled into you. You opened your mouth to complain until you noticed the dark look on his face, "Does that mean that they might come and take you back."

"Probab-AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" You clasped your head in agony. Images, sounds and words were forming in your head one after the other in quick succession. A stone bridge. BLOOD. Elephant-sword. Unmoving bodies. A woman crying. BLOOD. Curly eyebrows matted with blood. Bubbles. BLACK BLOOD. Familiar brown but lifeless eyes.

"MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

Gates of Justice. Pigeon. Building collapsing. Usopp with a shattered mask on his face. BLOOD. Rust-man. Limbs twisted where they shouldn't be. A roaring monster. Wado Ichimonji shattering. Pink hair. BLOOD. Yourself running. Mello being knocked into the sea. A tattered straw hat flying away in the wind.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Nami’s pole through her stomach. BLOOD. Sanji with no legs. BLOOD. Usopp’s neck at an impossible angle. BLOOD. Zoro with a hole through his head. BLOOD. Luffy screaming. BLACK BLOOD. Luffy collapsing. BLOOD. You screaming. BLOOD. A silhouette standing over you. BLACK BLOOD. Arm raised to strike. BLACK BLOOD. Predatory grin. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD. BLACK BLOOD.

Then eventually nothing.

" _M...sy…! Are...ou...alrig...? Ever...ne's...w...ried...yo…!"_

The faces of your crew slowly came into focus. You finally felt the tears trickling down your face, and the roughness of your throat. Glancing at your hands, wads of your blood and hair were wedged under your fingernails. You had been clawing at your head.

"...(y/n)?" Nami peered at you curiously. The entire crew, Vivi and Carue huddled around you, each one with a worried expression on their faces. "Are you okay? You were...screaming our names..."

You gave a pained smile, "I'm alright." You grimaced as the images of their bodies flashed before your eyes once more, before standing, "Just...gimme a minute." You quickly walked off towards the tangerine orchard.

" _Missy...I'm sorry."_

You sighed as you climbed into your usual tree, "It's not your fault, Mello."

" _It really is…"_ You felt him hesitate, " _If it wasn't for Kronos, if it wasn't for ME, you wouldn't see possible futures like that…"_

"I used to be an assassin." Hugging your legs, you curled into a ball, "I... _did_...things like that. But no matter what it always hurts…Especially if it's people I care about."

" _Missy-"_

"Maybe I shouldn't be here Mello. I could be sitting in Loguetown as Missy Sai simply fades into history, but no I had to and stick out my stupid neck. I thought that we could possibly...avoid CP9…" You chuckled, "God, I'm an idiot."

" _Although I may protest otherwise on occasion...you're not an idiot, Missy."_

"No. I really am." You gestured back to where the rest of the crew was, "They could die because of me.  _Die_ , Mello, and it would be because of me." You smiled as tears started to drip down your face, "How selfish could I get? I was just thinking about myself. I thought, hell, I never really got what I wanted, so could I possibly get a chance now? Can I do something just for me for once?" You clasped your head and slowly started to laugh, "What was I thinking? I'm a murderer, and a monster to boot. Of course I can't think about what  _I_  want. Why do I never. Think. Things. Through!" The last sentence was punctuated with your fist hitting your head.

"You shouldn't be doing that to yourself, mademoiselle."

You sniffled, "Shuddup Flirty."

The cook hopped up to the branch next to you, "You mentioned something about us dying...Was that...what... _that_ was?"

You pinched your nose, "I said all that out loud, didn't I..." Glancing down at the soil below, you slowly nodded, "It wasn't cohesive...but when Luffy was talking about CP9 taking me back...I saw...well...and me, I…"

"You don't have to say a word, mademoiselle." He puffed out a line of smoke, "We will discuss that later..." He glared at you, "What I'm far more upset about is that you thought you were being selfish."

"But I a-"

"Everyone's selfish." He pointed at himself, "I'm selfish for wishing you spent far less time with that filthy marimo. That particular idiot is selfish for sleeping all the time. Selfish is the only way we can describe Luffy eat!"

You giggled despite the state you were in.

Sanji softly grinned at the sound, "And the whole crew's selfish for wanting you to stay with us."

You stopped and stared at him.

"Trust me on this, once Luffy's decided that you're a part of the crew there's no way in hell you're getting out of it." He shuddered in recollection, "however hard you protest. Even so, I would have wanted you on the crew no matter what, mademoiselle." He winked, "You're too sexy to pass up."

"Uh huh…" You rolled your eyes.

"I'm certain that everyone here feels the same way." He parted the branches of the tree he was in to show everyone down on the deck.

"Us girls have to stick together, don't we? Besides, we're pirates. We can be as selfish as we want!"

"What about our duel, huh? You can't have forgotten about that. And I'm already used to having a drinking buddy..."

"You...uh...really didn't see us die, did you?"

SLAP

"Oh, I mean, (y/n), PLEASE STAY SO YOU CAN TELL ME HOW TO NOT DIE!"

SLAP

"OI! NAMI!"

"Miss (y/n), I'm afraid I don't fully understand what is going on, but I want you to know that I feel that you are one of the most incredible individuals that I have ever met! You really shouldn't worry about being selfish."

Luffy grinned, "I chose  _you_ as our ship psycho, because you're really awesome and funny!" He crossed his arms, "No one else can be our psycho! You're our nakama, so you're gonna stay!"

"IT'S A PSYCHIC, YOU IDIOT!"

SLAP

"Hey!"

"QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

You smiled, "You guys…"

"In our eyes you haven't nearly been selfish enough, and I have a feeling that you still don't really understand that." Sanji smirked, "So how starting to indulge a little more by having some sweets I prepared carefully with my love for you."

You wiped your eyes as you beamed, "That would be great!"

* * *

"A possible future?"

You nodded as you absentmindedly took another spoonful of ice cream, "When it comes to far off events there are too many unknown factors so if I get a vision, it's one of many futures. Thankfully, that one seemed like a worst case scenario, and is probably quite unlikely."

"Phew," Usopp deflated, "We might not die…"

"Normally, I'd panic if that was predicted as my future, unlikely or otherwise," Nami frowned, "But since it's so far off, we really can't afford to worry about it right now. We need to focus on getting Vivi home."

She smiled to the side, "Sorry."

Pushing away the empty bowl, you waved your hand at the princess, "I'm the one who should be apologising, I was the one who had a mini-breakdown. Getting you to Alabasta is the priority."

"Even so," Zoro frowned, "we need to get stronger. If there is even a slight chance that I could be beaten that badly, I haven't trained enough."

Luffy nodded seriously, "I'm not letting anyone die."

Sanji bought you another bowl laden with ice cream, "I agree. There's no way I'm letting (y/n)-chwan go through that kind of hell ever again. We need to get stronger to protect all these lovely ladies."

"If you want to get stronger... since I've already told you about CP9," You tapped your chin teasingly, "I could tell you about their secret techniques, the six powers."

Everyone's eyes snapped to you.

"I can't actually use them myself, I was too much of a liability so they never taught me, but I did watch my associates practice them." You smirked, "With a near photographic memory, I should be able to teach them."

Luffy narrowed his eyes determinedly as he punched his palm, "Tell us everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one pretty much wrote itself, I was really not expecting the chapter to end this way after I started writing. Any comments about people's thoughts on reading this would be great.


	14. Little Garden of Horrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own one piece. If I did, I would do my best to punch Crocodile in the face (and probably fail).

"Just to make sure you know what you're getting into," You slowly walked down the line of seated people, "The members of CP9 have trained since childhood to master the Six Powers, and very few of them master them all. They all honed their skills to the max to serve the world government and they overcame the very limits of the human body."

You turned on your heel to face the seven individuals.

"From what I've heard from my ex-associates, the Powers seem to focus on certain aspects of physical perfection in martial arts," You held up one finger, "Iron Body for endurance and durability."

Zoro smirked.

You held up a second finger, "Tempest Kick for kicking strength."

Puffing out a line of smoke, Sanji grinned devilishly.

"Shave for speed."

Usopp and Carue gulped.

A fourth finger, "Moonwalk for jumping agility."

Nami grimaced, and hastily checked the log in an effort to excuse herself.

"Paper Art for flexibility." You splayed out all your fingers on the hand.

Sweat dripped down Vivi's brow.

You narrowed your eyes, "And Finger Pistol for arm strength."

Grimacing, you waved the final finger, "The only techniques I'm willing to teach at the moment are the passive ones, so not Tempest Kick or Finger Pistol. Although Tempest Kick sounds slightly tamer than the others, an insane amount of power can be amassed just by using compressed air. I've seen an entire town completely leveled with a single kick. If any of you somehow manage to master the other four, I  _might_  change my mind about teaching it. We just need to make sure we don't practice on the Merry."

"Mhm!" Usopp dipped his head seriously, "We are not letting the Merry get damaged without a good reason."

You nodded, before pressing your lips into a firm line, "And the last one, I'm not going to even attempt to teach. It does what the name says, you shove your finger into a target with immense force, leaving a wound like a bullet hole."

"We're not using that." Luffy's brows knitted.

You nodded agreement, "It is a horrible move, but one you should be aware of. Even if we probably aren't going to die," you shivered, "one thing that my vision is certain of, is that we will definitely come across CP9 in the future." Turning to Vivi and Carue, "You two didn't seem to be present from what I could tell, but it will be just as useful for you to learn too. A princess needs to be able to hold her own after all."

Vivi bit her lip for a moment before nodding determinedly.

You grinned, "That's the spirit." Letting the expression remain, you rubbed the back of your neck, "I have said this before, but I'm only going off my memory. It may be good, but it's not infallible. Not to mention I'm going to teach you from how I saw my ex-associates deal with them, which means there's a chance that we won't even get anywhere."

"That's fine," Zoro's grin widened into something darker, "The training will still strengthen our bodies."

You recoiled slightly, "Ok...Again I've said this before, but I don't know how to actually use the techniques, and I'm not planning on teaching myself." You patted your left shoulder, "I've got enough on my plate getting used to Mello again."

Nami nodded stiffly.

You briefly outlined the rest of the techniques, before wagging a finger, "There's one thing that my ex-associates mentioned a lot, which is that everyone tends to specialise in one particular power, and that particular art is a reflection of a mix of their personality, fighting style and body type." You grimaced in recollection, "My bodyguard was so well suited to Finger Pistol that he developed a far more powerful variation off it.  _That_ was a terrifying day when he decided to test that one out..."

Sanji raised an eyebrow, "I've learnt by now not to really question anything, but a bodyguard? Isn't that a bit much?"

"It makes sense..." Zoro grinned, "As much as I hate to say it, Missy's quite powerful despite taking a training break for six years."

"Finally someone understands…" You chuckled, "But going back to the main point, I'll teach you all how to obtain the powers at the start. But everyone focusing on the same power at the same time is pointless, because you will all pick them up at different speeds. So," You smirked, "each one of you guys are going to choose which power they want to start with."

"(y/n)-CHWAN IS GOING TO BE MY PERSONAL TEACHER~! SHE'S SO SEXY WHEN SHE'S TAKING CONTROL~!"

You shivered, "That's...disturbing on so many levels…Mop-boy, do the honours."

THWACK

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YOU FILTHY MARIMO?"

" _SHE_  ASKED ME TO HIT YOU, YOU SHITTY COOK! DON'T BLAME ME!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"

"Ah this never gets old…"

"DAMN IT MISSY!"

You clapped your hands together to dispel the glares, "So you all can choose which one you feel most comfortable with, but if you don't mind I'll give my recommendations. Mop-boy and Flirty, it's pretty clear. I'd choose Iron Body and Moonwalk respectively. Was that what you were thinking?"

"A good swordsman should be able to take any hit without fear."

Sanji frowned, "I was also expecting to learn Iron Body. But I'll do whatever you'll say, (y/n)-chan. As in most situations, you know best."

You grinned as you stepped in front of him, "You definitely are the best suited here to learn Moonwalk. Just to do it once requires immense leg strength, and although I haven't really seen you fight, it's clear that you're more of an agile fighter than Mop-boy. You wouldn't be able to keep still for long enough to use Iron Body technique."

The cook sat in thought for a moment, before nodding his agreement.

Nami shakily raised her hand, "The rest of us, not including Luffy, aren't really fighters. What should we…?"

Usopp, Vivi and Carue nodded hastily.

You stroked your chin, "That's actually a difficult one. It's a close call between Shave and Paper Art, so I think it's up to you." Gesturing at Carue, you shrugged, "Because you're not really built for most of the powers, I'd recommend that you'd stick to Shave."

"Quaaaaaaa!" He saluted with his wing.

"I think I'm going with that too!" Usopp gave a thumbs up, sweating profusely.

You deadpanned, "Not to say I didn't see this coming, but you're not using it to run away from fights, got it?"

"Damn it."

Nami and Vivi exchanged a look. Eventually the princess raised her hand, "I'd like to try the Paper Art. I'm not an excellent fighter, but what little fighting I can do is close combat based, so avoiding attacks would be beneficial."

"That makes sense. Nami, do you want to join her? You fight with a staff, right?"

"I do." The navigator drummed her fingers against her knees. "And I agree with what she just said. I'm just wondering about getting to Alabasta as soon as possible."

" _Not to doubt her kind sentiment, but how certain are we that she's not just hurrying to get her money faster?"_

Vivi let out a brief sigh, "As much as relaxing all day sounds enjoyable, I'm really worried about what's happening at home. If I don't so  _something_ , I think that I will probably do something I'll regret. Besides," She shifted from side to side, "I don't want to be to helpless. I do not wish to be a burden on you kind people."

You watched amused as Nami's face was filled with many conflicting emotions, including more than a flicker of guilt. ' _Well that answers that question.'_

"What 'bout me? Which cool move do I get?"

You watched your captain bounce up and down on the spot.

" _Is that really the boy from earlier? His personality has done a complete reversal!"_

You chuckled softly, ' _Well I would be too if I was being taught new moves, especially if I could use them to help someone.'_

" _You have a point."_

Scratching your head, you turned to Luffy, "Iron Body is useless to you and I'm not really sure about how useful Paper Art or Moonwalk will be, all because of your devil fruit. So I guess that leaves Shave. Being made of rubber is really useful come to think of it..."

Luffy punches his fists together, "Then that's what I'll start with! Shishishi!"

Usopp and Carue held onto each other for dear life as they looked at the monster that they were going to be training with.

"So now that you've all made up your minds," you grinned devilishly, "how about we get started?"

~0O0~

"Whooooooo…" You slumped against the railing, wiping the trails of blood dripping from both your eyes, "That was just what I needed…"

Zoro collapsed next to you, before slapping you on the back of the head, "Your attacks were weak. If you're gonna hit me, hit me hard."

"Roger that Mop-boy." Recalling Mello back onto your skin, you flicked him, "But I think you made good headway for a first try."

"Hell yeah!"

"You two...are monsters…" Usopp inched his way along the floor towards you, sweat dripping out of every pore, "you just beat...gauh...each other up...for three hours straight..."

"Yeah…? So what?"

"...well duh." You raised an eyebrow, "I did say that this was the best way to improve Iron Body. Plus it's a good stamina workout for me with Mello, so it's a win win." Eying his limp body, you sweatdropped, "I did warn you…but this is worse than what I was expecting"

He groaned and his long nose made a horrible crunching noise as he smashed his head into the deck.

"Shishishi!" Luffy rolled his shoulder round and round, grinning, "That was fun!"

"FUN? I'M PRACTICALLY A PRETZEL!"

"I agree with Nami on this one...guuuuuuuh…I didn't even know my body could bend that way..."

"QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

You giggled at their discomfort, "Well you should just keep training then if it wasn't fun. You'll get there eventually."

" _Missy. You only found training fun because you forced yourself to enjoy it. It was that or go mad."_

' _But this stuff's easy peasy compared to what Cipher Pol made me do.'_

" _You should be considerate to your crewmates."_

Pouting a little, you sighed, We were going to plan a break now anyways. Flirty, do you have enough energy left in your legs to make us something?"

Sanji zipped over to you, and bowed with a tray balancing on his hand, "As it so happens, I made some of my Special Drink whilst I was training, mademoiselle."

Zoro glanced at Sanji's legs and grimaced, "Those better not be my training weights, you second rate cook…"

"So what if they are." Sanji deftly raised one leg to display the impressive array of weights he had strapped to his calves. "(y/n)-chwan recommended them specially, so I'm not taking them off until I've mastered Moonwalk." The cook puffed out a satisfied line of smoke as he handed you a glass of a worryingly blue liquid.

Zoro sighed, "If Missy said so, then that's fine. It just would've been nice if you'd asked, that's all." He leant back, "You better not damage them, you hear?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Raising a suspicious eyebrow, you took a small sip of the blue drink. Despite the colour, it was very refreshing and just the right balance of tartness and sweetness. You let out a small delighted squeal.

The swordsman glanced at you with a reluctant expression, "That good huh? The shitty cook probably didn't make me any."

"Oh!" You smiled deviously and held out the glass, "Then have some of mine, I don't mind."

A second drink was thrust into Zoro's hand. "Actually I did make you some, you filthy marimo! There is no need to deprive (y/n)-chwan of her beverage." The aggravated Sanji quickly stomped off towards where the two other women were fanning themselves on the deck

You exchanged an amused look with the swordsman.

"Thanks for that one."

"No problemo."

Clinking your glasses, you both took a swig of the cool liquid. After tasting it a second time, you paused for a moment before getting up. You returned with a bottle from the stores.

"Nice!"

~0O0~

The next couple of days passed away a lot like the first. As you watched the crew train from the upper railing (Sanji had very kindly volunteered to take your place in beating up Zoro), you felt a swell of pride. Despite some complaints, the crew was slowly getting used to the rigorous training. Even Nami was calmly doing her yoga, holding another complex pose for several minutes before relaxing out of it and breathing slowly. You sweatdropped.

' _Yoga really is no joke huh…'_

" _This is why I was telling you to-"_

' _NOPE!'_

"Ooooh! A dolphin! Sanji, can we eat it?"

Tilting your head, you walked over to the side Luffy was pointing from. Sure enough, a dolphin happily splashing about in the waves. "I guess we can call it a day," you grinned.

Usopp whooped, and Sanji instantly produced another tray of his Special Drink, handing you a glass.

Vivi sighed, "It's so cute…"

You sipped the blue liquid gently, "Not to jinx things, but I've got a bad feeling about this."

At once, the dolphin dove out of the water towards the Merry. You craned your neck up as it kept rising. Up...And up...And up...And up...

A shadow fell over the small ship.

Everyone's faces fell.

Grinning widely, you giggled, "Awesome!"

"IT'S HUUUUUUUUUUUGE!"

Luffy beamed next to you as the massive dolphin jumped clean over the Merry and entered the water on the other side with a splash. Sure enough, a tidal wave big enough to engulf the ship was produced.

Stretching his arm in the air, your captain laughed, "RUN AWAY!"

Several glasses smashed to the ground as the Straw-hat crew sprang into action. You clambered up to the crow's nest to keep look out, securing various ropes on your way. Glancing behind, you giggled, "You guys! It's coming back, and looks hungry!"

A familiar arm wrapped around your waist and Luffy zipped up next to you, "Alright! We'll catch the wave and ride it out of here!"

"Aye aye, Cap! HERE IT COMES EVERYONE!"

The two of you held on for dear life as the Merry surfed the second wave at a tremendous speed. You and Luffy whooped in excitement.

After the wave subsided, Luffy jumped down to the deck, "Nami! How's our course?"

"Just a sec. Turn us hard to port!"

"AYE-AYE!"

Something in the distance caught your eye as the ship turned. You beamed, "I see an island ahead, and I think it's Little Garden!"

"No doubt about it." Nami lined her eye up with the pose, "We're directly lined up with Cactus Island. That's Little Garden alright!"

"So that's it! The second island of the Grand Line!" Luffy stretched over to his 'special seat', "LET'S GOOOOOOO!"

"Wait...d...uh...do you think there will be monsters?"

"Who knows!"

"WHAAAA! Let's just fo the next island without stopping here!"

Nami sighed as she turned to the quivering boy, "We need time to set the Log."

"That, and it's about time we picked up some provisions." Sanji sighed, "We didn't get to stock up at the last town."

"Yo, guys!" You smiled down at them, "There's a river mouth up ahead!"

Usopp stopped his grumbling to direct the Merry into the little channel.

"I hope there's a barbeque restaurant here~!"

"What the hell would one be doing here!?"

"But didn't you say we needed provisions?"

"I meant we need to get ingredients! I don't know what goes through that tiny brain of yours!"

Surveying the banks of the island on either side, you frowned, "I think landing's going to be dangerous. These plants look like nothing I've ever seen before, and that's saying something."

A coarse screech filled the air. Jumping down to the deck, you winced at the sound.

"Gya!" Nami recoiled.

Sanji's face grew disgustingly perverted, "Cuuute~!"

"You mean me?" Usopp winked, batting his eyes.

"I MEAN NAMI-SAN, OBVIOUSLY!"

Her eyes widened in horror, "That was that?"

The cook grinned, "Don't worry. It's just a little old bird. And this is just your normal jungle. Nothing to worry about"

You quickly unsheathed a dagger, and sliced the massive bird-like creature's neck inches before it sliced Sanji's back, "Now then everyone," you pulled the...thing… onto the deck with a thump, "what have we learnt about jinxing?"

They gaped at you.

You raised an eyebrow, "Seriously though, you should be on your guard more. We have no idea what could be out there."

"Oooooh!" Luffy prodded the feathered creature. "Can we eat it?"

"I dunno what it even is." You turned the head to the side with your foot. Uncharacteristically sharp teeth protruded from the 'beak' of the animal, and vicious talons protruded from the legs.

Nami and Vivi paled.

Glancing at them out of the corner of your eye, you crossed your arms, "Well don't leave us in suspense here."

Shakily raising a finger, Nami gulped, "I had read about them in that navigation book, but I didn't think we would come across one of them." She pointed weakly at the large animal, "If I'm correct...that's a dinosaur!"

"This must be one of the Prehistoric Islands," Vivi said with wide eyes, "This island is still back in the Age of the Dinosaurs!"

The male straw-hats blinked.

Noticing their blank faces, she sighed and elaborated for them.

Tilting your head, you turned to look at your left side, ' _Uuuuh...what's a dinosaur?'_

" _Essentially gigantic lizards. Excluding the Prehistoric Islands, they have been wiped out all over the globe."_

' _But this isn't a lizard. It has feathers.'_

" _That's because it's a species called the Archaeopteryx. Surprisingly many dinosaurs have feathers."_

"You okay Missy?" Zoro waved a hand in front of your face.

You rubbed the back of your neck, "Yeah, Mello was just explaining what a dinosaur was."

You were met with seven gaping faces.

"...What?"

Usopp dashed over and shook you, "How the hell have you not heard about dinosaurs until now? Did you have no childhood?"

"Well no, I didn't."

"OhgeezI'msosorry," He recoiled, bowing profusely.

Sanji slapped him over the head, "HOW COULD YOU REMIND (y/n)-CHWAN ABOUT HER TRAUMATIC PAST!"

Lazily waving a hand, you sighed, "Meh it's fine. My past was not really traumatic, more like disappointing. And I've got used to it by now."

A loud boom echoed through the air.

Usopp clasped his head, "That sounded like a volcano erupting!"

"Prehistoric Islands often have multiple volcanoes, so that isn't surprising," Nami trembled as she clutched onto the railing.

He shrieked.

"RIGHT!" Nami punched the air, "We'll just sit on the ship and quietly wait for the Log to set."

"Yes!" The sniper squeaked.

"Then we'll get out of here as fast as possible."

"Yes!"

"We do have to hurry to Alabasta, right?"

"YES!"

~0O0~

After finally finding a suitable place to land the boat, you looked at the dark tropical forest.

"Shishishi!" You recoiled from the terrifying expression on Luffy's face, "Sanji! Lunchbox!"

The cook puffed out a line of smoke, "Lunchbox?"

"Yeah, to recharge my power!" He grinned excitedly, "A TON of mean and NO vegetables! A pirate's lunchbox! I smell an adventure!"

"Can you do one for me too, Flirty!" You giggled.

"N-now hold on a second, you two!" Nami dashed over. "Where do you think you're going?"

You and Luffy practically sparkled with excitement.

"On an adventure!"

"I wanna see more of these dinosaur-things!"

The two of you linked arms and began to chant, "Adventure! Adventure! Adventure!"

Nami realised it was pointless to stop you and turned away dramatically as tears rolled down her cheeks. Usopp looked at you, and for a moment it looked like Carue was not the only duck on the crew.

Sanji walked over towards the galley, "Right then, I heard you. Just gimme a minute."

"Make mine separately, please!"

"Does a Sweet Love Lunchbox sound good, (y/n)-chwan?"

"WHOOOP!"

Vivi tapped her chin, then smiled at Luffy, "Is it okay if I go with you?"

Usopp, Nami and Carue shrieked.

"Yea, c'mon! Let's go!"

"Don't tell me you're going along with this!?" Nami looked betrayed as Vivi slowly walked towards the monkey faced boy.

She looked off into the distance, "Well, if I sit around here, I'll only get depressed. I might as well relax while we wait for the Log to set."

You giggled, "I like your definition of relaxation!"

Nami wasn't convinced, "Luffy does this all the time, but it's far too dangerous for you!"

"Oh I'll be alright. Carue will be with me!"

The duck's 'jaw' dropped in horror.

Sanji called from the galley that he was making another lunchbox and a Special Drink for Carue. This cheered the duck up a little, but he continued to tremble vigorously.

You snatched your lunch as soon as it was ready and vaulted over onto the bank. You secured it inside one of your side pouches, and instantly summoned Mello. Turning over your shoulder, you waved back to the crew, "I'll be back before sunset, and I'll bring some meat back as well!"

"SUNSET'S TOO LATE! OI (y/n)!"

You giggled as you sped off into the jungle before the others could stop you.

' _You ready for some exploring, Mello?'_

" _Surprisingly, I am."_

' _Then how about we go take a bird's eye look at this place?'_

" _Excellent suggestion."_

Mello extended, carrying you high up above the trees. You loved the feeling of being on top of the world, and especially in a place with all these awesome flying lizards. To your left you could see a massive dinosaur with a long neck. Mello called that one a 'Brontosaurus'. There was so much to see, you almost missed a lime umbrella rising above the trees.

You frowned as you made the connection, ' _Baroque Works is here.'_

" _We should alert the others."_

You nodded, about to descend when a shadow loomed over you.

"It is strange to see a human who can be as tall as us. Gegyagyagyagya!"

You froze. ' _Mello. I don't suppose dinosaurs can talk by any chance?'_

" _Unfortunately not. That leaves one possible scenario…"_

You slowly looked up over your shoulder at the large humanoid. You gulped.

" _Giant."_


	15. An explosive situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, I would live on Whole Cake Island.

"Gegyagyagyagya!"

"Shishishishishi!"

You giggled at Vivi's horrified expression as she sat timidly before the giant, before taking another bite of the dinosaur meat, "Y'know Cap, if you'd wanted a good view, you should have just called me. Although playing around on dinosaurs sounds pretty fun."

"Gegyagyagyagya! She's right ya know!" Dorry's laugh boomed around the island. "When I found her, she was almost at the same height as myself!"

Luffy pouted, "But you ran off without us. And you said we were going to go exploring together. Meany!"

"I SAID NOTHING LIKE THAT!"

"DID TOO!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

"DID NOT!"

"BOTH OF YOU BE QUIET!"

"QUAAAAA!"

The giant tilted back his head and roared with laughter, slapping his leg hard, "What a funny little crew!"

You smirked.

Luffy tore off another piece from the large hunk of meat he was sitting on, "Anyway, old man, why are you living alone out here? Don't you have a village or something?"

Dorry's grin dropped, "Yeah I have a village. Elbaf the Village of Warriors. Somewhere out on the Grand Line."

"The why aren't you there?" You frowned as you chewed on a particularly large hunk of meat.

"Our village has laws." Dorry peered down at you, grimacing.

"Laws?"

"For example: to settle a fight, the opponents must leave the village and accept the judgement of our god, Elbaf. Elbaf grants divine protection unto the rightful victor. That rightful victor is allowed to live."

Luffy frowned, "Your god Elbaf?"

The giant calmly gestured to his battered sword and shield, "Well, I started a feud. And to this day, another man and I have used this island as our dueling ground. The rightful victor shall triumph and survive." He laughed his strange laugh, "But it's been 100 years, and we still haven't settled it!"

"You guys have been fighting for 100 years!?" Luffy's eyes widened dramatically.

Dorry tilted his head questioningly, "Surprised? It's nothing to be surprised about."

" _Giants supposedly live about three times longer than humans."_

' _Really? That's awesome. Why didn't you tell me this cool stuff earlier?'_

" _It wasn't necessary."_

' _NECESSARY MY ASS!'_

You slapped your left shoulder, before crying out in pain.

" _You idiot."_

Dorry glanced at you with a raised eyebrow.

Vivi shot a panicked glance at you as you continued to glare at your shoulder, before turning to the giant, "Fighting for 100 years? Shouldn't you be tired of it? Is there still a reason to keep fighting?" She frowned as the giant started to laugh, "You could die, right!?"

You grinned at her, "Since when did that matter?"

Suddenly, one of the volcanoes in the distance exploded with a loud boom.

"Wow!" Luffy gaped, "That's a HUGE eruption!"

"Time to go," Dorry smiled with quiet anticipation as he stood, collecting his weapons.

Another three explosions were heard from the volcano, but you barely registered them. You just stared transfixed at the dangerous blue light in Dorry's eyes.

" _That's some determination."_

You nodded blankly.

The giant clenched his fist, "I forgot when we decided, the eruption of the centre mountain signals the start of our battle."

Vivi rushed forwards in panic, "But that's…! To hate someone so much that you could fight to the death for 100 years! What reasons could you possibly be fighting about?"

"Don't interrupt," Luffy raised his arm in front of her face. "That's not what it's about."

The entire forest started to tremble as the silhouette of the other fighter loomed over the horizon.

Dorry grinned, "Exactly. It's about HONOUR!"

As soon as he spoke, the other giant started to run towards him with his axe raised, trampling every tree in his path.

"THE REASON!?" Dorry raised his shield, "I FORGOT YEARS AGO!"

He sprinted forwards and met the other giant head on. As soon as they collided, a massive shockwave echoed over the entire island.

You gaped in awe, before slumping to the ground. The sight of the two giants exchanging blows was more than impressive, especially as both of them looked like they were having the time of their lives.

Luffy collapsed next to you, sweating slightly.

Vivi ran over to the two of you, "W-what's wrong?"

"Incredible," he gasped out.

"You said it." You sat forwards, and your captain soon did the same.

"They're so HUGE!"

"That wasn't quite what I was thinking, but yes." You grinned weakly, "Yes they are."

After that you both sat in silent excitement as you watched the battle rage in front of you. You completely tuned out the others and had full focus on the two giants. You were vaguely aware of Vivi shaking you, but ignored it.

' _This. Is awesome.'_

" _Agreed. I never expected to witness such an amazing fight."_

' _I bet Usopp would love to see this.'_

" _He would be ecstatic."_

Dorry stabbed forwards with his sword. The other giant jumped into the air and the blade slid harmlessly into a stone, cracking it into pieces. The other giant had jumped a lot higher than what you would have expected for someone of his size, and he used this height to his advantage as he heavily swung down with his axe. Dorry's sword was still stuck in the rock and he had no way to dodge, so he tilted his head forwards. The axe struck his helmet. Another shockwave ruffled through your hair. Dorry lunged forwards with his helmet, driving the other giant through a massive rock.

Your eyes sparkled. ' _That was a dangerous gamble.'_

" _Indeed. If Mr Dorry had mispredicted the trajectory of the axe, it would have meant certain death."_

' _Almost reminds me of how we operate together.'_

" _I can see what you mean."_

The two giants stood once more. The axe giant sliced towards Dorry. He leant back. Regaining his stance, Dorry replied to the attack with one of his own. The sword met an awaiting shield. The axe followed, and Dorry's shield rose up to meet it. The two giants slammed together in a deadlock.

" _For all the brawn they muster, each and every one of their attacks are poised to aim for their opponent's weak spots. Most impressive."_

You nodded.

The fight continued in this way, ending in deadlock after deadlock. Eventually, both their weapons flew out of their hands, and each giant was left with just a shield. You saw them exchange a few words, before smacking their shields into eachothers face. The two giants fell towards the ground, the battle evidently over. Another shockwave ran through the entire island as the massive bodies hit the ground.

Suddenly two very distinct laughs rose up from the place where both giants fell.

"Gegyagyagyagya!"

"Gababababababa!"

You smiled broadly, giggling a little yourself.

~0O0~

You eyed the barrels that Dorry had bought back with disdain, "Of course Nami and Usopp chose the worst sort of liquor we have. Those idiots know nothing about good drink."

"Shishishi!" Luffy tilted his head at you, "It's fiiiiiiine."

Glaring at him, you marched over to the three barrels and awkwardly shoved them under your arms, "No it's not. These guys deserve the best liquor we can offer. I'm going back to the Merry to get some."

"Gegyagyagyagya! It's fine," Dorry tried to take a barrel, "I haven't had booze in so long, any sort is good."

You dodged the large hand effortlessly, "No way am I letting you drink this."

"Aw c'mon (y/n). Let him have the booze."

"NO!"

" _Now you're just being stubborn, Missy."_

' _Am I really? My gut is screaming at me that no one should drink this stuff. Can you not feel it?'_

" _Of course I can. But it would be a lot easier if you just told them."_

' _Vivi's got enough to worry about as it is. And I think Dorry will probably take it the wrong way.'_

" _You do have a point…"_

Vivi frowned, "By the way Mr Dorry, does it really take a whole year for the Log to set?"

He grinned as he continued to try and swat you, "You guys didn't notice all those puny human bones over there?"

She stiffened.

"Most humans that land here usually die before their Logs set. Some become dinosaur food, others succumb to the heat, and some try to attack us. But they all die." He sighed, "It seems that spending a year on this island is too much or humans."

Vivi clenched her fists, eyes staring blankly ahead, "What now? Even if I can survive here for a year, who knows what will happen to my country in that time!" She cradled her head in her hands and started to sob.

"You're right about that. A year's way too long," Luffy drawled lazily.

You took this time to attempt to sneak away, however a large arm soon blocked your path.

"Not so fast human. Gimme my booze."

Gritting your teeth, you smiled, "Have to say, that's something I'm not called often." You promptly sat down, with the barrels in front of you. "You have left me no choice." Quickly, you opened a barrel and drained the contents.

" _Missy what are you doing! You have no idea what's in there or what it will do to you!"_

"Hey!"

"Oi, (y/n)! Why did you do that?"

Vivi glared aggressively, "How can you be thinking about booze right now!"

You clenched your eyes shut, waiting for something to happen. After a while, you relaxed with a happy sigh.

' _Well it seems like I was incorrect afte-'_  The ground started to wobble under your feet. Looking about, your vision slipped in and out of focus.

' _Shit.'_

An explosion rang through your ears, and you spat out a glob of blood. Collapsing on the floor, you clasped your stomach in agony.

Wincing, you felt your body being shaken. You realised a blurry Vivi and Luffy were yelling at you, but the high pitched ringing in your ears made it impossible to tell what they were actually saying.

"Gimme...mo," you tried to mumble. From the way they were still shaking you, the words hadn't reached them.

The blurry figures stepped back, and you became vaguely aware that you were being raised into the air before you finally lost consciousness.

~0O0~

Wincing, you groaned as the sides your head throbbed mockingly. You flickered open your eyes. Right in front of you was a massive white eye, and a wide grin.

"Oh, the strange woman is awake!"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" You scuttled back in shock. Suddenly your hand fell into nothing, and you turned around to see a large drop behind you. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Miss (y/n)! I am so relieved to see that you are alright!"

"QUAAAA!"

"(y/n)! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAAAAAD!"

"SHUDDUP!" You clasped your hands over your very sensitive ears. A familiar rubber arm coiled around your waist and you were thrown forwards as someone catapulted onto your back. Turning around as best as you could in the iron-like grip, you were met with the sight of a sobbing Luffy.

He rubbed his snotty face into your jacket, "D..ugh..DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!"

You smirked weakly, "Do you have that little faith in me?"

" _Oh please,_ I  _don't have that much faith in you, and I've known you since the day you were born."_

You didn't even have the energy to thump your shoulder.

"How did you know, (y/n) was it?" Dorry lowered his hand, with you on it, to the ground.

You stepped off the large hand, Luffy still clinging to you tight like a monkey, bawling his eyes out. Turning to the giant, you raised a lazy eyebrow, "Yeah, I'm Saioney (y/n)."

He stroked his beard, "A Saioney, huh." His eyes widened, "That means-"

"Yes I am part of Kronos, if the black blood didn't give it away." You tried to detach the boy from yourself, but he was stuck like glue.

Vivi frowned, "This still leaves the problem with who did this. Do you think it could have been the other giant, Brogy?"

Luffy stopped his wailing as he glared at her, "No way other giant-gramps did this! That would disrespect the honour of their fight! No giant of Elbaf would do that!"

Dorry grunted his agreement.

"It was Baroque Works," You finally got Luffy off you and immediately took off your now snotty jacket. You winced as you saw your mottled black unhealed torso. That explosive rum really had done a number on your body, and you made a mental note to thank Mello later. "When I got my birds-eye view earlier I saw Miss Valentine on the island." You sighed, "I didn't say anything earlier 'cause didn't want any of you to worry about it. You guys have enough on your plate as it is."

"That makes sense then." Vivi mused, tapping her chin. "This was probably meant for us then."

You nodded in thought, before turning towards your captain, "I need to get back to the Going Merry. Mello won't be able to form because he used most of his energy to stop me from dying, so if there is a fight I'm a sitting duck. No offence, Carue."

"Quaaa."

He nodded, and started to pound his fists together, enraged.

"Will you be able to get back there by yourself, (y/n)?" Vivi placed a calming hand on your shoulder.

You grinned devilishly, "It's only Mello who is out of energy. I can take care of myself, thank you. Ex-assassin after all."

With that you waved goodbye as you walked into the tropical forest.

~0O0~

" _I can't believe you! We have come across a bomb-man already, and you even knew that they were on the island. What can I do to make you understand that although you have superior healing, thanks to yours truly, YOU ARE BY NO MEANS INVINCIBLE!"_

You massaged the sides of your head, "I know, I know. But geez, keep it down okay? My head is killing me without you doing some mental screaming."

" _I think you deserve it."_

"Hey!"

You stopped walking as you heard a volcano erupt. You smiled, "He's going to be able to fight his duel now."

" _Yes...BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU BLEW YOURSELF UP!"_

"That was only because he left me no other option…"

_"YOU COULD HAVE JUST TOLD THEM!"_

"And told them what exactly? 'Oh something's up with this rum but I have no idea exactly what, but yeah don't drink it.' That would have worked if any of the others were there, but Luffy would have laughed it off. And Vivi wouldn't have been able to stop it."

" _Ah...you have a point."_

A twig snapped nearby. You flinched instinctively and silently clambered behind a large shrub.

You heard something with four legs stalk forwards and stop. You held your breath.

"That's odd. I could have sworn that my darling (y/n)-chwan was here. I thought I heard her mumbling something…"

You shot upwards incredulously, "Flirty?"

The blond cook was riding nonchalantly upon a large cat thing. It looked like it had it's face kicked in, and you winced in pity. Sanji still was wearing many of Zoro's training weights.

" _That's a saber tooth tiger, Missy. Not a dinosaur, but part of that era."_

' _Why is he riding it…'_

" _I wouldn't ask."_

"Oh god," He slid off the large creature and dashed over to you. "What the hell happened to you?" The tiger was about to slip off into the jungle, but was stopped by Sanji's glare. He turned back to you, eyebrows raised expectantly.

You waved your hand calmly, "Meh, nothing much. A bomb went off in my stomach, no biggy."

You felt Mello heave with an unsatisfactory sigh.

"YOU ATE A BOMB!?"

"Well I technically drank it…"

"HOW YOU CONSUMED IT DOESN'T MATTER!" He lifted you up gently and seated you on the back of the tiger. He glared at it, "If you so much as let a bump affect the lady, I'm going to let her have a taste of lightly seared tiger meat.

You swore you could see the tiger gulp in fear.

"Flirty...I'm fine."

He tore down some vines and fashioned them into a makeshift bridle. He fastened it to the tiger's muzzle, and held onto the end, beaming at you, "Don't worry, mademoiselle. I, your ever trusty knight will protect you."

You deadpanned, "I'm fine."

He ignored you and walked the tiger off in a direction you hoped was towards the Merry.

After repetitively protesting, you realised that he was oblivious and dancing in his own makeshift fantasy world. Tapping your chin, you sighed, "So what are you doing here Flirty? I thought you would be on the Merry."

This seemed to shatter his dream world. Glancing back at you he frowned, "I was waiting there for hours, and no one showed up." He grimaced, "Not even that stupid Marimo for our hunting competition, but he could have easily gotten lost. I got worried, and went go back to and look for everyone. And that lead me to you."

You frowned, "I dunno bout Mop-boy, but Nami and Usopp are with Brogy and I just left Cap, Vivi and Carue with Dorry not long ago."

"Who are Dorry and Brogy?"

"Giants."

"HUUUUUUUH?! They exist! Are Nami-swan and Vivi-chwan in danger?!"

"Yes they exist, and it's fine, Flirty. They are, quite honestly, safer with the giants then without them." You lowered your voice, afraid of being overheard, "Baroque Works are here."

Turning behind to look at you, Sanji grimaced, "They are, are they? I'm assuming that they are the ones behind that bomb."

"Well yeah."

A fiery aura erupted around the impassioned cook, "I'LL KILL THEM!"

The bridle on the tiger burnt through, and he threw you off before sprinting off into the dense forest.

Dusting yourself off, you glanced up. You raised an eyebrow, "The hell is that thing?"

Sanji turned, and he frowned suspiciously.

Before the two of you was a little white cabin. Shaped like a perfectly proportioned cube with circular windows and the occasional solid drops all over the walls, it looked so out of place in the irregular griminess of the forest.

You stood and walked gingerly towards it. Nothing happened, so you knocked on the walls. You were met with a solid thunk.

" _This cannot be what I think it is…"_

"Wax." You declared, running your finger down the wall, "This entire building is made of wax."

Sanji sauntered towards you, "Devil fruit?"

"Probably." You tapped your chin, "But the only inhabitants here are the giants, and they couldn't even fit in here."

His eyes widened, and he gave a devilish grin, "Then that means…"

You giggled as you surveyed the small building, "We may have just found Baroque Work's current base of operations. And we didn't even have to look for it."


	16. Make it snappy, Crocodile!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realise that I was supposed to post this last week, but sadly some personal stuff happened which made me unable to do so. Thank you so much for your support so far though, the comments that I have had are amazing so thanks to yuimomo, OkaiLokiThen, YaoiDragon, YuYiKenopsia, Ezra P. Foxglove, Tera216 and J_Val and a special thanks to Bookett for that amazingly long and constructive comment! You guys rock!
> 
> I don't own one piece. If I did, I would be a mighty warrior of Elbaf.

Peering out of the corner of your eye, you observed the cook worryingly. Sanji poured the dark liquid into two china cups and offered one to you. He sniffed his cup and sighed contentedly.

He raised it to his lips, "For afternoon tea, Earl Grey is indeed the best."

You eyed your cup suspiciously, before taking a sip. You gagged.

' _I'm not touching that stuff ever again even if it kills me!'_

" _You lack refinement."_

"So, Sanji," You placed the cup down on the tablecloth, "You seem to be very,  _very,_  worried about our friends, don't you." You nodded, "Very worried."

He flinched, before looking around at the wax walls, "OI! Hold on!"

"So you've finally come to your senses?"

Sanji waved his hands in protest, "Nononono! I was perfectly fine, (y/n)-chwan! Haven't forgotten about them at all! I...uh...was just ensuring that you were well rested! Yes, well rested! Because you are injured, aren't you?" His eyes widened, and he clasped his head in horror, "HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT THE LOVELY (Y/N)-CHWAN ATE A BOMB?!"

"Technically I  _drank_ it…"

"AAAAGH!"

You raised an eyebrow at his melodramatic pose.

"But you're right." He stood. "We shouldn't be sitting here drinking tea all stylish-like!"

' _Oh thank Kronos…'_

"Nami-san and the others might be awaiting my rescue!"

Standing up, you stretched, "Well this is a fix isn't it."

He growled at you distastefully, before taking a look around the little wax cabin, "We should probably check this place out first, shouldn't we? If this really is Baroque Works' hideout, we might find some useful information."

"That's what you said before checking out the teapot for 'useful information'."

"I'M BEING SERIOUS THIS TIME!"

"Purupurupurupuru…"

The two of you turned to a vibrating wicker basket.

"Purupurupurupuru…"

Sanji creased his brow, "What the…?"

You crouched beside the basket, "That sounds like a snail…" You opened the basket and sure enough, a purple and moustached transponder snail was placed on the table.

Turning it to the side, you noticed black letters spelling out 'Mr. 3'. You winced, "Oh I really hate being right."

Sanji placed his hand on the transceiver before turning to you, "Should I…?"

"Not sure," You tapped your chin thoughtfully, "There is a chance that this could be...y'know…"

His eyes narrowed, "Crocodile."

You nodded.

To your surprise, he smirked, "I can handle him."

"Caalick!"

You shuffled excitedly next to the cook, as he leant back on the wax chair with the transceiver.

"Hey, thanks for calling, this is the Shitty Restaurant. You wanna make an order?"

Clasping a hand over your mouth, you grinned like a lunatic. You could have kissed him for that, but were too busy trying not to giggle. Your stomach still ached from earlier, so each giggle stang a little.

" _Missy! This is a serious matter, you both should use extreme caution! If that really is Crocodile…"_

"Cut the bulshit. Asshole." The raspy voice dropped the smile from your face, and you shivered slightly.

"Your report's late," the voice continued.

Sanji raised an eyebrow, "Huh? Report? And might I inquire as to who is calling?"

" _YOU IMBECILE!"_

"It's me..."

You gulped.

"...Mister Zero."

" _I TOLD YOU! I SAID THAT IT MIGHT BE CROCODILE AND THAT YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL-!"_

You massaged the sides of your head as Mello continued to rant at you, and attempted to listen to what was going on despite the mental noise.

Sanji had leant forwards in his chair as soon as Crocodile had spoken, a dark look on his face.

" _ONE OF THE SEVEN WARLORDS IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT SNAIL-!"_

He was silenced as the sound of a tapping finger came through the transceiver. "It's been days since I gave you your orders. What the hell's going on?"

Sanji glanced at you inquiringly.

You nodded.

"What's with the silence?" A drink was being poured over at the other snail. "I asked you a question. Have you eliminated Princess Vivi and those Straw Hat Pirates, and obtained Missy Sai?"

Sanji took a puff of his cigarette, "Yeah, mission accomplished." He smirked, "I got rid of those bastards that discovered your secret, so there's no need to pursue them anymore."

Realising what he was doing, you grinned.

"And the weapon?"

You grimaced.

"Oh her? She's been successfully apprehended."

"I want to speak with her. You haven't harmed her have you?"

Turning to you, Sanji raised an eyebrow apologetically, "Of course not. She's right here." He held out the transceiver.

You sucked in a breath, steeling yourself, before reaching out and taking it, "Mister Zero…"

"It's a pleasure, Missy Sai. Or should I say, Miss Hallows Eve."

' _That name really does suck…'_  You thought internally, before frowning in confusion as you realised something, "I thought that the position would be filled by someone else when I refused to join."

He laughed, and you found yourself deeply unsettled for some reason, "We have had a problem with finding willing partners for Mister Two. All of the female officer agents refuse to work with him, even if it entails a promotion."

Thinking back to your encounter with the Okama, you weren't really surprised by that. You laughed softly, forgetting about your tender stomach. You let out a yelp of pain. Sanji rested a concerned hand on your shoulder.

"What happened?"

You shivered at the chilling tone, however as an idea came into your head you changed your voice to an irritated tone, "Your Mister Five pair, that's what happened." You huffed disdainfully, "I think they held a grudge from how I completely annihilated them on Cactus Island, since as soon as they saw me they attacked me head on. Mister Five even went so far as to make me eat one of his disgusting bombs."

"Is that so…"

"Getting your stomach blown up is some way to feel 'welcomed'. If you really want me to join, you have a strange way of showing it." You sniffed, "I don't want to be working with people who attack me like that. I wouldn't know where to turn."

Static tapping emerged through the transceiver.

"They'll be eliminated." The snail grimaced, "They haven't been implicitly following orders for some time now."

You silently pumped your fist in the air. Sanji stared at you incredulously.

"That would be excellent, thank you." Smirking slightly, you rested your head in your free hand, "Have to say, if I knew that you were going to be this accommodating I would have joined instantly."

Crocodile barked out a laugh, "I am looking forward to working with you, Miss Hallows Eve."

You dipped your head, "Likewise...Mister Zero."

As soon as you passed the transceiver back to Sanji, you dropped the smirk. Grimacing, you glanced at Sanji and sighed slightly.

"Good work, Mister Three. The Unluckies are headed towards your location, they will confirm your mission's success and make a delivery."

Sanji raised an eyebrow, "Unluckies? A delivery?"

"An eternal pose to the Alabasta Kingdom."

You gasped, and the cook turned to you in confusion. You waved an arm in to encourage him to keep listening.

Something was clinking over the snail. "You and Miss Goldenweek are to return to Alabasta. The time has come. We will now commence the most critical part of our plan. Await detailed instructions upon reaching Alabasta."

All at once, you could feel piercing glares burn into your back. You turned slowly. A vulture and an otter sat calmly in the window-holes.

' _Oh please no…'_

Sanji frowned, "Who are these two?"

You mimed an aggressive slicing motion across your neck.

His eyes widened as the vulture unfurled her wings and revealed a machine gun. She cocked it in the cook's general direction The otter unclasped both sides of his shell and massive spikes emerged from the top.

' _Nononononono…'_

"Oi!" The snail barked, "What's going on this time?"

Both you and Sanji started to sweat profusely. He bit down on his cigarette, "Oh...Nothing at all…"

"Sure…Nothing…" You snatched up your daggers quickly, grimacing.

The vulture opened her wings and a hail of bullets rocketed towards Sanji. He leapt out the way and the wax chair exploded into small shards. You both ducked behind the table.

The cook stared incredulously at the line of bullet holes trailing up the wall, "What the hell?"

You shoved his head down just as a hail of bullets whistled over the table. All the china smashed into pieces on the floor. Millions of tiny shards rained down on top of you. Hissing, you became aware of a brown blur moving towards you. Dashing to the side, you quickly leant back to dodge a slash from one of the otter's shells. You felt a sting in your side. Too slow.

' _That bomb must have done more than I thought…'_

" _I WARNED YOU!"_

' _You're doing a lot of mental screaming today, are you alright?'_

" _NO I AM NOT ALRIGHT, YOU ALMOST DIED!"_

You managed to avoid the next slash from the otter before a foot slammed into the back of its head. The otter flew into the wax wall, and gently slumped to the floor, twitching gently. You winced as you eyed the weights attached to the cook's legs. That was harsh.

Sanji growled with rage as he turned towards the vulture. His face was littered with small cuts, and you were sure yours looked the same. "No one..." He splayed a hand on the ground and caught the bird's head between his feet, "...Harms (y/n)-chan when I am around!" In an impressive movement, he lifted his entire body off the ground and twisted round. A resonant crack echoed around the small cabin. Sanji deftly touched his feet to the ground and the limp body of the vulture collapsed beside him.

The transponder snail had somehow managed to avoid all projectiles and emerged unscathed despite just being on top of the table the entire time. It slithered round to face Sanji with a frown on its face, "What happened? What was that noise?"

You eyed the fallen transceiver, wincing. You had forgotten that the call was still running.

Evidently, so had Sanji. He ran over to the snail and hastily retrieved the transceiver as it dangled off the table, "Oh...Uh...It was nothing...sir."

The snail gazed at him blankly.

"One of those Straw Hat bastards was still alive." Sweat dripped down his brow, "But it's under control, I finished him off. Rest assured"

"Alive?" The snail's eyes narrowed, "You told me you completed your assignment. Isn't that what you said?"

You exchanged a worried glance. Sanji coughed, "Well, yes…I thought I completed it, yeah. But this bastard was a lot stronger than I expected."

You hastily moved next to him so you could talk into the transceiver, "Yeah...thanks for that one, Three. That swordsman was a menace...I thought he was dead for sure..."

Sanji grinned manically at that.

"In other words...you gave me a false report."

"Well, yeah…" He winced. "If you wanna put it that way...But this time," He turned to the unmoving bodies on the ground, "I'm quite sure I've finished him off. No need for you to send anyone else over here, okay?"

There was a pause.

"Whatever." Crocodile drawled, "In any case, you're to head straight for Alabasta."

You were reminded about what he had said earlier about an eternal pose, and hastily walked over to the limp bodies. It felt weird rummaging through their pockets...if they even had pockets...but it had to be done.

"I'm ending the transmission here." The snail snarled in disdain, "It'd be annoying if the marines got wind of this. I will re-establish communication the same way you have been receiving orders until now. That is all." The snail smiled darkly, "Godspeed, Mister Three."

"Ca-lick"

You caught sight of the pose rolling across the floor, and quickly scooped it up before it got damaged.

Sanji replaced the transceiver, "The line's been cut." He stood, "Just who the hell are these guys?"

"The Unluckies, I think. But it doesn't really matter." Grinning, you gestured to the pose, "We're just lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time."

He puffed on his cigarette, "Why?"

"We have this."

"And just what the hell is it?"

"Right, you weren't there, damn…" You sighed, straightening your legs. You grinned at his confused face as you pointed to the pose, "This is our way off this island."

He took it out of your hand and casually tossed it in the air, "Don't we already have one of these?"

"Careful!" You snatched it in midair, glaring at him, "This is different to a regular pose. It constantly points towards a single island, and isn't affected by magnetic fields."

"But this one points to Alabasta…" Sanji's eyes widened.

You grinned, "Exactly."

He peered curiously at the glass ball, "Even so, why did you say it was our way off this island? Once our pose has set, we'll be able to leave just fine."

"And how long do you think that would take?"

He shook his head, "A day?"

You laughed, "Think a year."

"WHAT?! That can't be right!"

"That's why we need to get this back to the others." You motioned to the door, tapping your chin mockingly, "I wonder how Nami and Vivi are doing against those Baroque Works agents…"

A black blur flew past your face, and you coughed on the residual smoke.

"I'M ON MY WAY LADIES~!"

* * *

Jogging out of the forest and into a clearing, you doubled over gasping for breath. "Geez...huff...you could've...huff...waited…" You spat onto the grass, "Damn you're fast when it comes to women..." Raising your head, you let out a sigh of relief as you saw the rest of the crew and the two giants relaxing without any weird agents to be found.

"Nami-saaaaaaan~! Vivi~chwaaaaaaan~! ...and the rest of you jerks!"

Luffy smiled and waved at you, "Yo! Sanji! And (y/n)!"

As you shuffled closer, you realised that his signature red vest was missing and his body blackened by scorch marks.

" _They all seem to have been burn in some way…"_

Looking around the group, you grimaced as you confirmed that Mello was right. You pouted, ' _What did they do without me! I missed out on the fun!'_

" _THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT?!"_

Sanji sauntered forwards, his arms spread out wide and a ridiculous smile on his face, "Everybody's safe, right!? Thank goodness!" He opened his eyes, finally noticing the two large warriors, "WHAT THE HELL! YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE GIANTS, (y/n)?!"

"Why wouldn't I be…" You slumped next to Zoro on a nearby log. "Maaaaaaan, I'm exhausted."

You smiled lightly as you watched Nami punch Sanji square in the jaw. From what you could gather, her shirt had burnt off, and he was trying to keep her shirtless whilst still being a perfect gentleman. Eventually he gave in and handed her his jacket.

The swordsman raised an eyebrow, "So what the hell were you two up to?"

"Oh, funny story that," you smirked.

Sanji sauntered over and sat on your other side, "We just had a talk with Mister Zero on a transponder snail."

Vivi stiffened, "The Boss!? You talked to him!?"

"Yeah." You propped up your head with your hands, "When I was heading back to the Merry, I ran into Flirty here. Somehow we accidentally managed to find our way to Baroque Works' hideout in the forest." You giggled, "Boy am I glad we did."

"Seems he mistook me for this 'Mister Three'." Sanji puffed out a line of smoke, very satisfied with himself, "So I went ahead and told him that I'd finished you guys off."

Vivi furrowed her brows, "That means he thinks we're dead, right?"

"And that I am going to willingly join Baroque Works, as if that would ever happen." You grimaced, before rummaging in your side pouch.

"Why is it that when nobody's looking for us, we can't leave!?" Usopp wailed to the sky.

You and Sanji smirked victoriously at each other.

"About that..." You bought the eternal pose out of the pouch and dangled it in front of you.

The look on their faces was magnificent. Even Zoro's jaw dropped. You giggled.

"It's an eternal pose to Alabasta!" Luffy whooped and punched the air, "We can set sail!"

The two giants grinned down at the mini celebration that your crew started.

Vivi ran up and hugged you tightly, "Thank you so much, Miss (y/n)! For a moment I thought all was lost."

You winced, "Thanks Vivi...But can you please let go, I'm not fully healed up."

"Ah! I'm so sorry!" She jumped back as if stung, "I completely forgot!"

After reassuring her that you were alright, she moved on to thank Sanji. He was more than happy to take your portion of the attention.

"Healing up?"

Turning, you smiled gleefully at Zoro, "Yeah, I drank a bomb. No biggy." Instantly you had to grasp your head as Mello decided to continue his mental screaming. "Stupid scythe…"

The swordsman glared at you suspiciously, "You drank a bomb?"

"Yeah," You returned his gaze evenly, "You got a problem with that?"

"Nah." He smirked, "You'd better not wimp out on training."

You grinned, "As if I'd do that."

"Good." He stood up. Your eyes were drawn to the deep gashes across both his ankles, but you decided to say nothing. It was probably a pride thing.

Sanji watched him stalk off, before frowning aggressively, "Oh yeah,  _you_. You haven't forgotten about our hunting contest, have you?"

Your ears pricked up, "A hunting contest?"

"Nope." Zoro didn't even turn to acknowledge the challenge, "And I won, by the way. I got a rhino THIS BIG."

Sanji scoffed and sauntered casually over to confront him. The argument rapidly started heating up to the point of exchanging blows.

You tapped your chin thoughtfully, ' _A contest huh?'_

" _Oh I don't like where you're thinking, Missy…"_

* * *

"I win!" You giggled as Zoro and Sanji gaped at the very large and very alive creature you were sitting on. Their own catches looked tiny in comparison compared to what you had managed to bring in. Didn't Mello call it a broccoli-saurus…

" _It's a Brontosaurus._ Brontosaurus _, Missy."_

' _Eh, same thing.'_

" _NO IT'S NOT! YOU'RE NOT MUCH BETTER THAN ZORO, THAT THING IS NOT A RHINO!"_

You looked down at the horned dinosaur the swordsman was standing on, ' _Kinda looks like a rhino.'_

" _IT'S A TRICERATOPS!"_

' _Fine, fine.'_  You pouted briefly before beaming down at the two incredulous men, "I win, right?"

"Of course, (y/n)-chwan! You are always the winner of my heart~!"

"She hasn't even killed it-"

"If I say (y/n)-chan wins, then she wins you filthy marimo. I just abdicated my victory to her."

" _Your_  victory, you stupid love-cook? Last I checked, my rhino is WAY bigger!"

"Just look at it! My lizard wins!"

You felt Mello fizzle with rage beneath your skin as they bickered below. " _I've had it with those two. Are they so uncultured that they don't know the simple names of those creatures. I have had to put up with a lot today; you didn't know a thing about dinosaurs, you almost_ died _, the cook was an idiot talking to CROCODILE OF ALL PEOPLE, but THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW!"_

' _...should I punch them for you?'_

" _PLEASE DO!"_

You slipped down off the long-necked dinosaur and absentmindedly thumped them both over the back of their heads with the butts of your daggers. To your shock, they slumped to the ground instantly. You hadn't even hit them that hard.

" _Thank you."_

Checking your daggers, you noticed a black sheen slowly vanish. You eyed your left shoulder suspiciously.

' _What did you do?'_

" _Nothing you need worry about."_

"Oh thank God they've stopped," Nami sighed as she leant on the railing of the Merry, "It's not like all of it will fit on the ship anyway. Just cut off what we need. We're ready to set sail."

"Alright!" You beamed at her and waved goodbye to the long-necked dinosaur. It moaned and casually shuffled back into the forest.

After cutting up as much of the usable meat as you could, you slumped exhausted against on the front deck with an unconscious Sanji and Zoro either side of you.

"SET SAIL!"

The sails fell, and the caravel started to happily sail down the river.

Nami checked the eternal pose, "They said that if we continue on this route, we'll come out on the west side of the island."

"Oi. Couldn't we get any more meat onboard?"

"Cut me some slack, Cap. I did my best."

"Are you trying to sink the ship?" Nami slapped his pouting face.

Sanji stirred next to you, "You're so strong, mademoiselle..."

Zoro groaned, rubbing the back of his head, "What the hell'd you do that for?"

You sighed, "I'm really sorry you were out so long. Blame Mello, not me."

They stared at you incredulously, before exchanging tired glances.

"WOAH!" Luffy pointed a finger out in front, "It's the two giant-guys! They came to see us off!"

Sure enough, as the Merry approached the mouth of the river the two massive warriors were pretty much impossible to miss. Neither of them faced the boat as it slowly approached them.

The giant you now knew was called Brogy dipped his head, "For all the humans that have come to this island…"

"...the biggest reason they could never reach the next island lies ahead." Dorry finished.

"Eh?" Nami, Usopp, Vivi and Carue paled.

Dorry smiled, "You guarded out honour with your lives."

You crossed your arms, "Damn straight…"

"And so," Brogy grinned, "we shall do the same, no matter what kind of enemy there may be."

"A friend's honour must never be tarnished, no matter what the cost!"

"Believe in us and continue straight ahead! Whatever should appear, do not stray from your course!"

Luffy smirked, "I got it! WE GO STRAIGHT AHEAD, NO MATTER WHAT!"

The Merry sailed out of the river and back into the Grand Line, passing the feet of the two giants.

Simultaneously, they produced their weapons from within their cloaks.

Brogy turned to face you, "This is farewell."

Dorry dipped his head slightly in respect, "We'll meet again."

"Without a doubt."

Nami screamed, "Look! Up ahead!"

Your eyes widened, "Oh sweet Kronos…"

Even compared to everything you have seen before, the sight of a creature the size of a small island erupt from the waves in front of you was enough to shock you into silence. That thing must have been at least half the size of Little Garden, minimum.

You heard Dorry grimace, "So you've surfaced, Island Eater."

"We will have you let them pass," Brogy growled, "upon the name of Elbaf!"

Two battle cries rose up from behind, but it was hard to tell with all the screaming that everyone was doing on the Merry.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"

"Some sort of...goldfish?" You questioned yourself as you said it. There was no way something that big was just a goldfish. ' _The giants did call it Island Eater…'_

"A goldfish…" Usopp gulped, "W-where have I heard of that before?"

"Turn the helm! Hurry, or we'll be eaten!" Nami screamed up at him.

He shook, "I...I can't!" Clenching his fists, a look of determination passed over the sniper's face, "We're going straight ahead! Right Luffy!"

Luffy calmly nodded, "You bet!"

You giggled as the goldfish opened its gigantic mouth in front of you, "This seems fun!"

"Are you insane!" Nami shot a frantic glare at you, "That thing isn't like Laboon!"

Zoro smirked, "Of course she's insane. She's our ship psycho after all."

You giggled louder as Nami stared at you helplessly.

Luffy threw something at her, "Have the last rice cracker."

"I don't want it!" She caught the round cracker without damaging it, "We've got to turn the ship around! We're all gonna be…!"

"We're gonna be fiiiiine. Trust me on this one, I  _am_  psychic after all."

"I CAN'T TRUST YOU WHEN YOU'RE GIGGLING LIKE THAT!"

"Nami, give it up." Zoro elbowed you, smirking, "She's never been wrong so far."

Defeated, she bit into the cracker with tears running down her face.

"Luffy," Sanji grimaced, "we can trust those guys, right!?"

"Yup!"

"Seriously?" Vivi looked at the rest of the crew incredulously, "Are we really going to sail straight into that monster!?"

"To late nooooow!" You grinned, giggling harder then ever, "We've already sailed in."

Darkness fell over the Merry as the mouth behind you snapped shut.

"STRAIGHT AHEAD! S-STRAIGHT AHEAD!"

"What're you talking about! We've just been eaten!" Nami screeched at Usopp.

"STRAIGHT AHEAD! STRAIGHT AHEAD!"

Sanji turned to you, "I know these guys are warriors and all, but why do Luffy and even Usopp of all people trust them so much."

"If you'd seen them duel," you smiled at the memory, "you'd understand."

Zoro smirked, "Must've been quite a fight."

"It was-" You were cut off by an oncoming whooshing sound. Eyes widening, you grinned like an idiot as twin beams of blue and red light rocketed over your head in a spectacular light show. Gasps rose up around you as the two beams spiralled together and blasted clean through the massive goldfish, throwing the Merry into the air towards the distant hole.

"WARRIOR NATION!"


	17. Nom nom nom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, I'd have Dr. Kureha's secret for eternal youth.

You were cut off by an oncoming whooshing sound. Eyes widening, you grinned like an idiot as twin beams of blue and red light rocketed over your head in a spectacular light show. Gasps rose up around you as the two beams spiralled together and blasted clean through the massive goldfish, throwing the Merry into the air towards the distant hole.

"WARRIOR NATION!"

"We flew through!" Luffy grinned with delight as the Merry shot out of the fish like a rocket.

You laughed with delight as the water droplets hung suspended in the air around you. Even though you had already felt this feeling at the top of Reverse Mountain, it still felt magical as you flew through the air. You wouldn't give this up for the world.

"No turning back!" Luffy punched the air with both fists, "We're going straight ahead!"

Running over to the side, you grinned as you saw the deep dip in the surface of the ocean from the giants' blast, "This is so awesome!"

Usopp stood next to you, snotty tears dribbling down his excited face, "They even pierced the ocean itself! This is the true strength… of an Elbaf Warrior!"

"You wanna be like them?"

He nodded enthusiastically.

"You've got a lot to live up to then," you grinned.

The Merry bounced slightly as it touched down into the water before smoothly sailing off.

"NOW FRIENDS!"

You turned behind as a large sword blade and half an axe splashed into the ocean.

Brogy and Dorry thrusted the remnants of their weapons forwards, "GO FORTH!"

Their laughter echoed around the Merry a long time after the island had vanished from view.

* * *

After waking up from what you called a well deserved nap, you were surprised by the lack of noise on deck. Hopping down from your tree, you only found Zoro sitting on the railing with his weights.

"Nice of you to finally join us, Missy." He didn't even turn to look at you as you approached.

"Psh! As if you can talk." You picked up the abandoned eternal pose next to him, "So where is everyone? Why're you not with them?"

"Nami's sick. I'm navigating."

"Wait, what?!" Whipping your head back, you stared at him incredulously.

Zoro grimaced a little, "I know. I really hope she gets bette-"

"No not that." Glancing at the pose, you groaned. As you feared, the needle was pointing a completely different direction to the path the Merry currently sailed. Your head hit the railing with a thud, "Why did they think it was a good idea to let you navigate?"

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Well you've hardly done a great job of it."

"Eeeeh? What is she talking about...Zoro?" Raising your head slightly, you caught sight of a pale, sweaty, and very pissed off navigator. She tiredly jabbed a finger into Zoro's chest, "Just what the hell have you been doing?"

He lowered his weights with a crash, crossing his arms indignantly, "Now what's your problem? The ship's going straight, isn't it?"

"Yeah, straight in the wrong direction! What about the pose, huh?"

"I don't have to look at that thing."

You thumped your face into the railing once more, "Don't tell me that you were using something like a bird as a guide point."

Zoro scoffed, "Those move, you idiot. We've been heading for the biggest cloud over there the entire time."

Thump!

"I need a drink."

His face perked up.

"Not you."

He scowled.

Nami clenched her couldn't be sure whether the flush on her cheeks was from her illness or her rage. It probably was a combination of the two. "Clouds MOVE and CHANGE SHAPE, don't they?!" She turned away, holding her head in her hands, "I can't take this anymore. I'm getting a headache."

You straightened up and placed a hand on her shoulder. Heat radiated off her in waves, it was clear she was sick, "Get some rest. I'll take over navigation duty."

She smiled weakly, "That would be a great help, thanks."

Nodding, you slipped Nami's arm over your shoulder so you could support most of her weight. You felt her stiffen, but she didn't complain. Just as you were about to lead her inside, you felt a familiar twinge in your gut.

Nami frowned, raising her free hand to her forehead, "The air's changed..."

"Eh?" Zoro stared at her strangely, "It's been sunny all day."

"Mop-boy." He raised an eyebrow at the alarmed tone in your voice. "Call everyone out here and change our course! And do it quick!"

He grimaced, before yelling out to the rest of the crew, who came filing out onto the deck.

"What the hell?" Sanji scowled as he exited the galley, "I ain't gonna take orders from you."

"Just shuddup and get to work!" Zoro jerked his thumb towards you and Nami, "They're the ones who gave the orders."

You frowned, "Pivot the sails to catch the port-side wind. We need to get out of here fast! Right Nami?"

She nodded slightly, "A large wind is going to hit us head on. I think…"

A long arm stretched up to place a hand on her forehead. It sizzled, turning beet red.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!" Luffy recoiled his burnt hand, "You're burning up! We need to stop the ship and get you to a doctor!"

Nami huffed, "Just mind your own business! This is my normal temperature! Quit fooling around and man the ropes already!"

Sanji held out his arms pleadingly, "Nami-san, I know that this is for Vivi-chan's sake and everything, but…"

"Flirty, shut up and get to work already."

"Eh? (y/n)-chan?"

Zoro's eyes narrowed as he looked at you, "Gut feeling?"

"Yeah," you winced, "It's screaming for us to run."

"Damn…" He grimaced.

Usopp scratched his nose, "But it's only a gut feeling, right? And Nami is really ill, so she might be wrong."

"Oh yeah, ignore the warning from the  _psychic_. Reeeaaaaaaaally good idea Usopp."

"...point taken."

The crew ran off to their respective positions without much prompting after that. Nami collapsed slightly, and you shifted her weight more towards you.

She sucked in another shallow breath, "Man, what's coming at us? It doesn't seem like a storm."

Holding up the eternal pose, you grimaced, "Possibly a small cyclone, they're quite common here. The only thing is," you raised an eyebrow at her, "no regular person is able to detect them. You really are something…"

Nami chuckled slightly as she watched the needle shifted until it pointed straight ahead towards Luffy on his 'special seat', "A cyclone, huh? I read about those, so I'm glad we avoided that..."

The door to your left opened, and Vivi stepped outside, a newspaper in her clenched fist, "I have a request to make!" She sighed, "I realise this is a lot to ask after being allowed to ride on your ship, but right now my country is falling to a terrible fate. Therefore, I want us to hurry forward! I can't afford the slightest delay! I need this ship to continue on to Alabasta at its maximum speed!"

You grimaced, not liking what she was implying.

' _I get her situation, really I do, but Nami is really sick. I'm not sure she can even hold out to Alabasta.'_

" _Agreed. Her future is vanishing at an alarming rate; this is a serious illness and cannot be left untreated."_

Nami grinned weakly, "Of course. We promised you, didn't we?"

Vivi smiled, "Well them, let's go and find an island with a doctor!"

You felt Nami twitch.

"We must get Miss Nami cured as quickly as possible, and then head to Alabasta!" Vivi glanced down to Luffy, "That's this ship's 'maximum speed', isn't it?"

He grinned, "That's right! Doesn't go any faster than that!"

"Spoken like a true princess," you giggled.

"You sure about this?" Usopp winced, "As a princess, you have a million people to worry about, right?"

Vivi squared her shoulders, "That's right! That's exactly why we must get Miss Nami well as soon as possible!"

"Well said, Vivi-chan!" Sanji smirked, "I'm in love all over again!"

"She's got guts."

Nami tried to wiggle herself out of your grasp, but soon gave up. She smiled at Vivi, "I'm...sorry about this." She tilted her head to look up at you, "Sorry…(y/n)...I think I might be in a little trouble here…" Her eyes rolled upwards and she slumped against you.

"Miss Nami, hold on!"

"I've got her." You quickly swung the unconscious navigator into a carry.

"WOAAAH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?"

Following your captain's shaky finger, you gazed upon the cyclone that had formed where the Merry would have been if you had kept to the same course as before. You gave a strained smile as a bolt of lightning crashed down close to the small caraval, "So we were right…Not really surprised at this point. THIS IS WHY YOU LISTEN TO THE NAVIGATOR AND THE PSYCHIC YOU GUYS!"

"Got it!"

* * *

"Can you see a doctor?"

" _That fool. As if it is possible to merely_ see  _a doctor."_

"Not yet, Cap!" You called down from the crow's nest, before raising a hand over your eyes, ' _We can't really see much in this snow, let alone a doctor.'_  Raising the binoculars to your eyes, however, gave a different story.

"Uuuh...guys?"

"Yeah?"

"You're not going to believe this."

"Eh?"

"I can see someone..."

"YAY WE FOUND A DOCTOR!"

"WHAT! NO WAY!"

"...but he looks like he's walking on top...of the...ocean..." you trailed off in confusion, eyebrow twitching.

From the deck, the confused faces of Luffy, Usopp and Zoro peered up at you. You pointed at the strange man in the green-blue jester-like costume in front of the Merry.

They gawked at him.

Usopp and Luffy rubbed their eyes comically, before leaning forwards.

"My, it's cold today," a plaintive voice rose up from the front.

You froze with the binoculars in your hand. ' _Eh…?'_

" _That statement...seems unnecessary…"_

Luffy turned to Usopp, pouting slightly in confusion, "Yeah. It's very cold today."

"It's cold alright, real cold. Really cold today."

The strange man smiled weakly, "You think so, too?"

You gulped, and judging from the bobbing of their throats your crewmates did the same. Along with the strange jester.

' _Ok, so what on earth is going on? I'm confused.'_

" _I...have no idea for once."_

' _Oh that's just fan-'_

A massive spherical dome rose up from beneath the surface, creating a massive tidal wave. Not expecting this change of events, you found that you were quickly bucked off the Merry and into the sea. Swimming to the surface, you spat out a stream of water, "Well that's just lovely isn't it?"

" _It's hardly as if the cold affects you. Even so, this temperature would kill a regular human. If it was anyone else, that could have been problematic."_

"No kidding. But I would have been the only person who would have been thrown o-" A rush of water entered your mouth as the swell from the spherical ship continued to wash over you.

' _This sucks, I don't think I can swim back in this swell. Mellontas, Grapple and Retract!'_

" _Aiming will be problematic, yet I will attempt to connect with the first solid thing I can find!"_

The scythe appeared in your hand, before extending off towards what you hoped was the general direction of the Merry.

" _I've found something. Hold on!"_

With a jerk, the shaft retracted and started to reel you in. You closed your eyes tightly shut as salt water whipped past your face, holding onto the scythe for dear life. Eventually the motion stopped, and you opened your eyes with a sigh of relief.

"Missy...what...the hell?!"

"Eehehehe…Sorry about that Mop-boy…" You used a free hand to rub the back of your neck, dangling from the horizontal shaft one handed. "When Mello said a 'solid thing', I was expecting more like, oh I dunno, THE MAST?! PART OF THE SHIP?! SOMETHING NOT LIVING?!"

" _I mentioned aiming would be problematic, and he seemed solid enough for our purposes."_

Since Zoro hadn't been thrown overboard from the force of Mello retracting you in, despite having his arms trapped to his sides by the blunted blade, you silently agreed.

The swordsman growled, his face darkening, "Just get it off already!"

"Good grief, I just got thrown into a freezing ocean. Gimme a break." You lowered your feet to the deck, recalling Mello with a flash of light.

" _I refuse to be referred to as an 'it'."_ The scythe grumbled under your skin.

You flicked your left shoulder, looking towards the thing that had caused your little ocean swim, ' _We have bigger things to worry about right now then correct grammar.'_

The sphere had transformed itself into a large ship, sailing a jolly roger you didn't recognise and sporting a figure head shaped like…

"A hippo?" You raised an eyebrow. ' _Each to their own, I suppose.'_

Zoro grimaced, "We're too busy for this."

A loud booming laugh drew your focus back towards the hippo ship, "Surprised, aren't you!? This is my Giant Diving Ambush Ship: The Bliking!"

"Oi! What's going on?" Sanji emerged from the door behind you. Glancing around, he sighed. Lighting a cigarette, his lip curled as he puffed a cloud of smoke, "Well? You gonna answer me?"

"Oh we're being attacked. Our ship that is." Luffy calmly stated, despite being surrounded by gun barrels.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. From the look of it."

You sighed frustratedly as you observed the men that circled you, your eyes finally settling on a large, round figure who you assumed to be the captain of this crew. Wearing a white animal skin and metal plating, there was an air of self righteousness about the metal jawed man that made it obvious that he was someone who was used to being in command.

" _Missy...We've met him before. I'm sure of it."_

' _I thought so too,'_  You tapped your chin, ' _But when?'_

The large man took another bite out of the meat on his knife, "Are you lowlifes really pirates? You're just a bunch of weirdos. Looks like there's five of you."

You raised an eyebrow as he cleanly bit straight through the knife the meant was skewered on.

"No matter how you look at it," He growled amists the crunch of metal, "that's just not enough for a pirate crew." He tossed the remnants of the knife absentmindedly into his mouth.

"What's this guy's problem? He's eating a knife!" Recoiling, Luffy stuck out his tongue.

Usopp's arms still raised in surrender as his eyes scrunched up, "It hurts just watching him!"

You kept a straight face.

' _Devil fruit?'_

" _Almost certainly."_

"Ah well...might as well ask." The strange man continued to chew casually, turning to Sanji "We're headed to the Drum Kingdom. Would you happen by chance to have an eternal pose, or even a log pose on you?"

The cook shrugged, "Ain't got one. Ain't never heard of any place called that either."

"There! That's all, right? Now get outta here already. We're in a hurry. Ain't got no time to waste with you."

The round man waved an arm in the air, "Ah, don't rush your life so much. If you don't have one, that's that." He grinned darkly, "However, I'll be taking your treasures and your ship."

Luffy growled.

"But before I do…I'm feeling a mite peckish."

A bead of sweat dropped down your face as the metal jaw enlarged, and bit off a large hunk of the Merry.

"What the hell is he!?" Usopp wailed.

Luffy lent over the railing, "Don't eat our ship!"

"Hold it right there!" A gun promptly rammed into his chest, "Lord Wapol is enjoying his meal!"

"Oh!" You snapped your fingers, eyes widening, "I remember now! You're that bastard king!"

"Eh?! Don't talk like that about Lord Wap-" Rubber fists slammed into the soldiers either side of your raging captain.

"That little twerp, now he's done it! FIRE!"

Zoro smirked as he watched the onslaught of bullets around Luffy, "We should've done this from the beginning." He whipped off his blanket, throwing it behind him.

"Oh, can I kick 'em now (y/n)-chan?" Sanji's face lit up with an almost childish delight as he untied the scarf around his neck.

You giggled as you span a dagger round your finger, "You hardly need my permission, Flirty!"

"Wait! I'm sure we can talk this over!" Usopp crawled around the mast like a lizard, effectively avoiding the gunfire raining down from above him.

Jumping on his head to get a boost, you dashed up the mast and into the crow's nest. The two men in there turned to you, alarmed. Slamming the butts of your daggers on the backs of their heads was all it took. You jumped down with a backflip and landed in the middle of a small group of soldiers. You giggled at their terrified expressions, shoving the chin of the closest person down onto your knee. Taking his rifle, you swang it in a circle above your head, effectively knocking the rest out.

Resting a hand on your hips, you stuck out your bottom lip in a childish pout, "I thought you guys would be a little more entertaining. Boooooooring."

"L-Lord Wapol! These guys…"

You raised an eyebrow, " _Lord_ Wapol? Not  _King_ Wapol?"

" _Something must have happened to his kingdom."_

' _Maybe they kicked him out. He is a massive jerk after all.'_

" _I would not be surprised if they did. His personality does not befit a king."_

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

You stepped back to avoid the person Luffy just sent flying. Your captain stormed forward, winding up his arm for an attack, "You're still eating!?"

"This ship ain't half bad," Wapol mused as he tore of large pieces of the Merry and shoved them into his mouth.

"Hey you!"

The round man turned round to face Luffy, eyebrow raised.

A man on the ground by your feet grinned, "Fool! You're no match for Lord Wapol! You'll be eaten alive by the power of the munch-munch fruit!"

You deadpanned.

' _Munch-munch fruit? Really?'_

" _That sounds so ludicrous I neglected to consider it."_

"Luffy!"

A chomping sound bought you out of your thoughts. Luffy's head seemed to be inside Wapol's mouth, the only thing signalling that he was still alive were his two arms stretching off into the distance.

The cabin door swung open, and an anxious Vivi emerged. Glancing around at the piles of incapacitated men and the elongated limbs, she recoiled, "W-what...?"

"Ah, Vivi-chan. How is Nami-san's condition?" Sanji re-lit his cigarette, sighing softly.

She stared at him incredulously.

Wapol sneered, "This guy's a chewy one."

"Why you…!"

The round man's eyes widened as two hands rocketed towards him. Colliding with him square in the chest, Wapol got catapulted high into the air.

"GET LOST!"

You felt a great satisfaction watching him vanish off into the distance. The men on your ship panicked at the loss of their leader and scurried off quickly.

As the hippo-ship sailed off in the direction of their captain, the jester man that had set this whole thing in motion jabbed a finger towards you, "Remember this well! We shall return for retribution!"

His partner's eyes bulged out in anger, "REMEMBER...US!"

"Remember well!"

"PLEASE! REMEMBER US! PLEASE!"

Watching them go, you scratched your head, "Why were they asking us politely?"

"J-just who the hell was that?" Usopp pointed towards the receding ship, "It sounded like they called him 'Wapol' or something."

Sanji shrugged, "Who cares who he was. Forget him. Just your run of the mill idiot. Nothing to bother yourself about."

"Missy," Zoro turned to you, "didn't you call him a king?"

You grimaced, "Yeah, the worst kind of king. You should know him, Vivi."

She tapped her chin, "Really?"

"Think back to Mariejois."

Her eyes widened, "Oh…"

"Yeah...that bastard."

She gritted her teeth, "So selfish…"

"I know," You placed a hand on her shoulder, "but in this case, Flirty's right. We don't have the time to worry about him.

Clenching her fists, she nodded, "Miss Nami needs us to stay strong, and hurry her to a doctor."

* * *

"Why can't we see anything?"

" _Missy, cease your whining. It's degrading."_

You pouted, "I know. It's just that I'm worried about Nami, and sitting up here doing nothing just sets me on edge. That's all."

" _We are not doing 'nothing'. We are keeping watch for an island, which is a job of high importance."_

"Yeah I get that, but still."

" _We are doing a job of high importance which we are the only people able to excel at, due to the abilities of Kronos…"_

Your eyes sparkled, "That's a great idea. I can use you to spot an island faster. Mellontas-"

He appeared in your hand with a flash, grumbling the entire time, " _This is a terrible idea to do on an unstable ship, especially from the crow's nest…"_

"-Extend!"

And suddenly the deck disappeared from beneath your feet as you got carried high into the air. Mello was right, inevitably. It was quite hard for you to keep your balance the higher you traveled. Thankfully, you didn't have to go so far up before an icy crag of land appeared in your sight. You grinned, "Yes! ISLAND HO!"

"EH?!" Usopp screamed up at you.

Retracting Mello, you touched down on the deck next to the sniper. You beamed, "It's a winter island! Two o'clock!"

A smile widened on his face, "On it!" Dropping his tools he sprinted to the helm to adjust the course.

You took this time to animatedly circulate the news around the Merry. Everyone was relieved, and you were really glad that you didn't sail past accidentally. Finding an island here without a Log was nothing short of a miracle.

After Luffy was certain that Nami was alright to be left with Carue, he sped up to his 'special seat', "AN ISLAND!" He grinned, "White! It's so white! I bet it's snow! An island of snow!"

Sanji held out a hand to restrain him, "Luffy. I shouldn't have to tell you this, but we can't go on an adventure this time. We're here to find a doctor! After he's taken a look at Nami-san, we're gonna be leaving right away!" He frowned as the rubber boy didn't react, "Oi! Oi, Luffy!"

"Snow's so fuuuuuun…It's so whiiiiiiiite..."

The cook sighed, "No use, he ain't listening."

"H-h-hold on now, is this safe? If there's snow, couldn't there be snow monsters or something?! We don't even know if there's gonna be people here or not, isn't that the biggest problem!?"

"It's alright." You nodded sagely, "My Kronos-future-sensors say yes it's safe."

Usopp looked at you with tears of joy in his eyes, "Really?"

"Of course not. They don't work that way." Tapping your chin, you giggled, "In fact, I have a hunch that something's supposed to happen here. Something about a blue-nose…"

"Noooooooooo!" He shook your shoulders violently, "Why would you lie to me like thaaaaaat?!"

"I wonder why…"

"OH NO. My Must-Not-Get-On-This-Island-Disease is acting up again."

"Just as well we're going to find a doctor then, isn't it."

"Snow...I love snow 'cause it's so white…"

Sanji sighed, "Guess I'll go prepare to dock."

"So much snow...I'm so happy…!"

The cook tilted his head, "But this place is something else. Get a load of those mountains."

You had to agree with him. This place was unique, even for the Grand Line. Many large cylindrical mounds rose up out of the ground, and everywhere you looked was white snow as you sailed up the thin channel. The rest of the crew was awestruck.

Usopp shivered, "By the way, Luffy…(y/n)...aren't you guys cold wearing just that?"

"The temperature is -10 degrees centigrade! At that temperature, bears start getting ready to hibernate!" Vivi looked at you despairingly, "Just looking at you show so much skin makes me feel cold."

Luffy stared at her blankly for a moment.

"I-It's so cold!"

"COULD YOU  _BE_  ANY SLOWER!?"

You giggled, "Thanks for the concern, but I'm fine just like this. Freaky black blood an' all that…Besides, I did get thrown into the ocean earlier. That was way colder."

"THAT'S MESSED UP!"

You rolled your eyes, "Tell me about it…"

Vivi pointed to the waterfall ahead, "I think we can dock the ship somewhere around here."

"Okay. Someone has to go look for a doctor." Zoro frowned slightly, "Actually, we'd better find some people first."

You giggled, "I don't think we need that last part. The people seem to have found us." You pointed at the angry mob on both banks.

"That's far enough pirates!"

Vivi clasped her hands over her mouth.

"Damn it, Missy." Zoro grimaced, "Could've mentioned it sooner."

You placed your hands on your hips, "And what would that have done exactly? We're not here to fight, and stealth is hardly what we're good at. This would've happened sooner or later." You frowned, "We also are at a disadvantage, we are basically begging them to help some pirates."

"The mademoiselle has a point…"

A wide shouldered man in green stepped forwards from the ranks of people. He eyed the crew suspiciously, before squaring his shoulders, "Pirates. We hereby demand that you depart this shore, immediately!"

" _That is Dalton, isn't it?"_

' _Yeah, I think he was also at the Council.'_

" _He's a good man. He accompanied Wapol very reluctantly."_

' _Wapol…'_ Your eyes widened, ' _So have we accidentally stumbled across this Drum Kingdom he mentioned?'_

" _It is highly probable, yes."_

You gritted your teeth, "Oooh this is bad."

"Huh, (y/n)-chan?" Sanji raised an eyebrow, "Is something the matter?"

A man on the bank squeaked, raising a pistol, "Keep your mouth shut!"

A gun sounded, and a bullet embedded itself into the Merry's deck by Sanji's foot.

He growled, "You'll regret that…"

The person who had fired trembled vigorously.

"Watch it, Flirty!" You moved in front of him just in time. The bullet only entered your shoulder. Grimacing, you slapped your hand over the hole instantly. There was no need to further complicate the situation.

"(y/n)! WHY YOU!" Luffy's eyes narrowed into slits.

"TAKE AIM!"

The rest of your crew reached for their weapons.

"I'm fine guys," You glanced up at Dalton pleadingly, "We don't want a fight here. We just want you to help our sick friend." You dropped to your knees, "Please!"

"We mustn't fight because of this." Vivi knelt beside you, before bending over and bowing deeply, "As you wish, we will not dock here. But  _please_ , will you summon a doctor? Our nakama is suffering with a severe illness. Please help her! I beg of you!"

Luffy stared at her in shock.

"You're a failure as a Captain, Luffy. Acting rashly all the time solves nothing!"

You leant forward into a bow, clutching your arm, "She's right, Cap. There's a time for fighting and there's a time to negotiate. Knowing when to do which is important."

She lowered her gaze, "If you fight them, what will happen to Miss Nami?"

Luffy glanced at the two of you for a moment. "I'm sorry. I...was wrong." He knelt down next to you in an equally deep bow. His straw hat gently rolled off his head before settling on the deck. "Please call a doctor. Please...save my nakama."


	18. Walking in a winter wonderland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, Wapol probably wouldn't exist. (Because out of all the characters I hate him the most. He's scum.)

You kept your forehead pressed up against the deck, clutching your 'injured' shoulder. Out of the corner of your eye, you looked at the trembling princess next to you with a strange feeling of pride.

' _She really is something, huh.'_

" _Considering how she got that boy of all people to apologise, I would have to agree."_

' _No kidding.'_  You smiled gently, ' _If everything goes to plan, she'll be a great ruler one day. We need more people like her.'_

" _Definitely. In addition, if you think that I am willing to overlook the fact you deliberately moved into the path of an oncoming bullet, you have another thing coming Missy!"_

' _...oh shit.'_

"I'll lead you to our village."

It took you a moment for the statement to register. Gasping, you tilted your head up to where Dalton was standing.

His eyes narrowed as he turned, "Follow me." He marched off without even waiting for you.

Vivi sighed with relief, smiling at Luffy, "See? They understood."

"Yeah." He glanced thoughtfully at her, "You're really something else."

You giggled as you shakily stood to your feet, "Why is always me getting the near-death experiences?"

"(y/n)-CHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

You deadpanned as you were immediately accosted by a hysterical Sanji.

"I AM SO SORRY! IT WAS MY FAULT THAT YOU GOT HURT! I SHOULD HAVE GOT SHOT INSTEAD!"

"Geh, it's a pity you weren't."

"WHAT WAS THAT YOU FILTHY MARIMO?!"

You calmly held up a hand, "Sanji, just cool it for a moment." Shrugging your jacket off your shoulder, you pointed to the bullet hole. Or rather, the lack of bullet hole.

The crew blinked slowly.

"I'm a freak, remember? I've got a good healing ability for small stuff like this. How'd you think I managed to survive a bomb going off inside my stomach?"

"A BOMB IS NOT SOMETHING SMALL!"

You straightened your jacket, "Well, whatever. We should probably go follow those guys before they leave us." You pointed at the receding figures as they trudged away into the snow.

"OI! TELL US THIS SORT OF THING SOONER!"

"Eh? Don't leave without us! You guys!"

"I'll get Nami-san! You can watch the ship you useless moss-head!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU FILTHY LOVE-COOK?!"

"Can you also stay behind please, Carue?"

"Quaaa!"

You giggled as the crew dashed back and forth around the deck, before eying the hole in your jacket. You huffed. It had held up pretty well considering it was from the East Blue, but you really needed something sturdier.

' _Remind me to do some shopping in Alabasta.'_

Mello chuckled softly, " _I have a feeling Miss Nami will drag you to the shops even if you refuse."_

' _Yeah…'_

You took a look at the ginger girl Sanji was attempting to get onto his back. Completely limp, her body hung over the worried cook like a wet rag. Nothing Sanji did managed to hold her in place

You moved towards them quickly, "I'll take her Flirty."

"Eh?" He gaped at you, "Are you really going to be okay with that, (y/n)-chan?"

"Of course I am." Raising your left arm, you summoned Mello and held him with both hands at your lower back. You gave a strained grin, "Us girls have to take care of each other after all."

' _I'm going to make sure she's alright, even if it's the last thing I do.'_

* * *

With Nami safely resting on your back and Mello, you, Vivi, Usopp, Luffy and Sanji managed to keep up with Dalton's group. Many of the soldiers flinched when they saw your scythe, and as you walked, murmurs and stares soon followed.

"I should warn you." The large man glanced over his shoulder towards you, "Our country has only one doctor, a witch."

Usopp winced, "A witch?"

"What the hell? This country sure is weird." Next to you, Sanji placed a hand on Nami's back. Even though you finally convinced him to let you carry Nami, he refused to leave her side. He looked from side to side, "What the hell  _is_  this country anyways?"

Dalton faced forwards again, so you couldn't read his expression, "This country does not yet have a name."

"A country without a name?" Vivi mused, "Can there be such a thing?"

"UWAAAAAAAAAA! A BEAR!"

"Yeah yeah, I see it," you monotoned. The fluffy looking grey bear currently approached your group on its hind legs, an ice pick in its hand.

"Everyone, play dead!"

There was a wet thump as Usopp promptly swan dived into the snow.

"A Hiking Bear. It's not dangerous. Just bow to him politely." Dalton demonstrated, his subordinates quickly mimicking him.

The most you could do with the injured girl on your back was dip your head, but the bear accepted your attempt and moved on.

You smirked briefly at Usopp's moans of discomfort, before frowning at Dalton's back.

Instead of the typical snowy wasteland, small and stout red brick buildings stuck out from the landscape. Looking around, you noticed the bustle of people and animals as they went around their daily lives.

Dalton spread out an arm, "This is our village, Bighorn."

"There's some pretty weird animals walkin' around here…" Luffy dashed forwards, raising a mittened hand above his eyes.

Usopp ran off to join him, adjusting his eye pieces, "Just what you'd expect from a Snow Country!"

Sanji smiled, "Look Nami-san! We've reached civilisation! We've found a village!"

Hearing Dalton mutter something, you twisted round towards him.

"...thank you everyone. Anyone not on lookout, please return to work." He grinned kindly at the men who had accompanied you all.

One with a green scarf frowned, "But will you be okay by yourself, Dalton. They  _are_  pirates after all."

The large man paused for a moment, "I do not think they mean us any harm. Call it an old man's intuition." He raised his head, "Trust me."

Watching the men mutter about themselves, you glanced at Vivi.

"Then, Dalton. We'll leave it to you."

"Just keep an eye on them, Dalton."

"Call us again if anything happens."

She stared at Dalton in awe as the citizens dispersed, and you couldn't help but smile.

As he looked back towards you, Vivi tilted her head, "I guess they aren't your country's armed forces."

He smiled, "They are civilians." He motioned forwards, "You can come to my house for the time being."

"Ah! Dalton!" A kindly round woman waved to him as she shuffled over, "I heard some pirates have landed, is everything alright?"

You squinted at Usopp and Luffy.

' _Why are they bowing?'_

" _There are some mysteries that cannot be solved."_

' _Like the insides of their heads?'_

" _Precisely."_

"Yes, everything is under control. There is no need for concern."

As soon as she left, another elderly man hurried over, "Dalton! I'm looking forward to the election in two days! Everyone is saying they're going to vote for you!"

"Y-you shouldn't!" Dalton started waving his hands worriedly, "Not someone like me! I am a man of too many sins!"

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Vivi's brow furrow. You smiled softly.

Gesturing inside a house, Dalton sighed, "Apologies for that. Please use the bed over there for your friend, I'll get the room warmed up."

The building he showed you into was modest, with very little furniture and no grand ornaments displayed anywhere. With Sanji's help, you released Nami from your back and laid her gently on the single bed. It was slightly rickety, but it'd do for the moment. Vivi knelt next to her, pulling up the covers.

"Well," You recalled Mello, watching the large man's face change, "You haven't changed a bit have you, Chief Royal Guard Dalton?"

Everyone stared at you.

" _...That may not have been the most opportune moment, Missy."_

"Oi, (y/n)..." Usopp raised a shaky finger at you, "You know him?!"

"And what's this about a Royal Guard?" Sanji grimaced.

Dalton blinked a couple of times before frowning, "I would like to know how you know me as well. I would think I'd remember meeting an assassin as ruthless as  _you_."

You winced internally at the statement, but continued on, a fake smile plastered on your face "I'm wounded, Dalton. We met at the Council of Kings six years ago, don't you remember?"

"So that was you…" He placed a hand on his chin, "But what were you doing as a guard?"

"Long story short, the world government are assholes."

Vivi scratched her head, "I'm afraid I don't follow. How do you know him, Miss (y/n)?"

"My last job for the government was acting on guard duty for the Council of Kings six years ago. Both Dalton and Wapol attended, and afterwards I had a little chat with Dalton because I was, y'know, bored." You griggled, "That's how I recognised them."

Dalton's eyes widened in shock. He muttered so softly you barely heard him, "Wapol…?"

"And because you have photographic memory-"

"Near-photographic. It isn't perfect."

"-you remember them even now!" Sanji grinned, stretching his arms in the air, "That's amazing mademoiselle!"

Vivi sweated as you grinned at her. You had a feeling that she knew that's how you also recognised her.

Dalton frowned, "That is correct, and you must forgive me for not introducing myself earlier. My name is Dalton. Currently I am this island's Captain of the Guard, but as Miss…(y/n)...said, I used to be the Chief Royal Guard here." He frowned as he started to take off his winter gear, "Please excuse our hostile reception." Glancing up at Vivi, he narrowed his eyes, "If I may ask you something, I believe I have also met you somewhere before?"

She hurriedly turned away, babbling quickly, "I-I'm sure it's just your imagination! More importantly, can you tell us more about this 'witch'?" Her posture drooped slightly, "Earlier, Miss Nami's temperature rose to 42 degrees centigrade!"

Dalton gasped, mouthing the number.

"Her fever has been rising steadily for three days now."

He rushed over towards Nami, holding a hand gingerly above her forehead, "If it rises any higher, she will surely die."

You sat on the floor by the bed, "Her future's disappearing really quickly now, I'm not even sure she'll make it through tomorrow."

Sanji and Vivi shot alarmed looks at you.

"If I told you earlier, we would've panicked." You winced, "I am sorry, believe me I am, but right now we need to keep level heads."

"You're right," Vivi straightened, her face filled with worried determination, "We don't know what's causing her sickness, or how to treat it."

Sanji growled, clenching his hands, "It doesn't matter, there's a doctor here! Where's this 'witch' of yours!""

"The witch?" Dalton raised a suspicious eyebrow at you as he walked towards the window.

You pouted, ' _Rude.'_

"Do you see the mountains outside this window?"

"Yeah, those freakin' huge-" Sanji quickly recoiled from the abomination peering in through the window.

' _What is that?'_

" _It appears to be a snowman, Missy. A very unartistic one built by your captain."_

' _...what's a snowman?'_

" _A representation of a human figure created with compressed snow. Usually with added components, such as...that...wooden barrel...on its head..."_

' _That looks like fun! Can't wait to try it out after Nami's cured.'_

Sanji didn't seem to agree with your opinion as he screamed at Usopp and Luffy. After their 'snowmen' were destroyed by the furious cook, they trudged inside Dalton's cabin.

After pouring everyone tea, Dalton told you about the castle on the highest peak of the tallest of the strange cylindrical mountains and the doctor who lived there, Dr Kureha. The doctor herself apparently was a 140 year old, free spirited woman who descended from the mountain occasionally in search of patients. After the treatment, she took whatever she wanted from the patient's home as payment. What really got your attention, however, was the reported fact that she got down from the mountain in a flying sleigh pulled by a strange creature.

Your eyes widened, "Do these eyewitnesses remember anything in particular about this 'creature'?"

Dalton shook his head, "Unfortunately, I myself have never seen the beast, so I cannot say."

' _Damn,'_ You tapped your chin, ' _That would have explained why 'blue nose' popped into my head.'_

" _It is not yet ruled out as a possibility."_

You paused for a moment, before nodding your agreement and returning your focus to Dalton.

He sighed, "As it is, all we can do is wait for the next day she decides to come down from the mountain."

"Oh no…" Vivi's eyes widened in horror.

Sanji glared out the window, chewing his unlit cigarette,"If what (y/n)-chan says is true, then we don't have time to just sit here and wait! And from my experience," He glanced your way, "She's always correct when it comes to this sorta thing."

You curled up into a ball, "I'm so sorry…I wish I was wrong about stuff like this..."

Vivi's hand reassuringly patted your shoulder, "It's hardly your fault," she smiled, "At least this way, we get a prior warning."

"Eh?" Luffy tilted his head at you, "What're you guys talkin' bout? Did psycho (y/n) predict something again?"

"...Psycho?" Dalton scratched his head in confusion.

A bead of sweat rolled down your head. This was the last person you wanted to tell. Who knows how panicked Luffy was going to be once he found out his crewmate might die within the next day. You giggled nervously, "Ah, Cap..."

"Oi." SLAP "Nami." SLAP "Nami." SLAP "Nami." SLAP "Can you hear me?" SLAP

To both your relief and dismay, he had completely forgotten about what you were previously talking about, instead moving beside Nami on the bed and slapping her face hard whenever she couldn't answer him. Which, you sweatdropped, was all the time, considering she was feverous and unconscious.

"HEY!" Usopp, Sanji and uncharacteristically Vivi gritted their teeth in fury, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!"

He ignored them, his face at once opening up into a grin, "Oh! You're awake!"

The rest of the crew, you included, instantly crowded around Nami in worry and concern as she groggily blinked at you all.

You smiled painfully, ' _She's alright for now...that's good!'_

Luffy held up his arm, a calm expression on his face. He looked down at Nami "Listen, you can't see a doctor unless we climb a mountain. So we're going mountain climbing."

"Are you insane!?" Sanji glared at him, "What are you trying to make Nami-san do!?"

Luffy stood, "It's okay. I'll carry her."

"That will only worsen her condition!" Vivi clasped her hands together pleadingly.

Luffy scratched his head, "What? The sooner we see the doctor, the better, right?"

"He's right. Quite frankly, it's the best plan we've got," you grinned, giggling slightly, "And considering this crew's damn luck, it might just work."

"Even you, (y/n)-chan?!"

"I have to...get better soon."

Everyone lent in to try and catch the breathless words.

Nami smiled, "Soon...for Vivi's sake." She brought out her hand from under the covers, "Take good care of me, Captain."

Vivi gasped.

"Nami-san…"

You smirked.

Usopp stared incredulously.

"Heh!" Luffy grinned as he slapped her outstretched hand, "You got it! Leave it to me!"

* * *

"Listen here, Luffy." Usopp prodded him on the forehead, "If you trip and fall even  _once_ , Nami will die."

"Eh? Even once?"

"Wait," Vivi glanced up at him, "stay still for a moment. I need to tie this tight." Her fingers worked at the knot securing Nami to Luffy's back. Eventually, she stood, "I think you're ready." Back outside in your 'winter gear', the snow was still falling quite heavily. You and your crewmates huddled together, Dalton observing from the side at a polite distance. Smiling, Vivi dusted the snow off her knees, "I'm going to wait for you here. I'd only slow you down if I came along."

"ME TOO!"

You giggled, "You really shouldn't be so proud of that, Nosey."

"Eh, are you not coming, psycho (y/n)?"

"She is not a psycho, you idiot…" Sanji glared at him momentarily before turning to you, "He has a point though. Are you joining us or not? We could use the manpower, not to mention your agility."

Shaking your head, you jabbed a thumb towards Dalton, "I'm sure this guy wants to interrogate me more, so I'm not going." You frowned minutely, "And in terms of distributing the manpower, I'd be better off here. We ran into Wapol not too far from here after all, and if Dalton is here then that means the Drum Kingdom the bastard was searching for is this place."

"WHAT!" Dalton burst out in alarm, "YOU MET WAPOL NEARBY?!"

"Exactly," You crossed your arms, "Which is why I'm staying. Judging Wapol's character and the state of the country now, I'm assuming that you don't want him back, and quite rightly too. If that's right, well, you're going to need help, and a lot of it." You grinned at Luffy and Sanji, "But you two don't need to worry about anything other than getting Nami up that mountain safely, you hear?"

"Got it!" Luffy glanced over his shoulder to look at his navigator, "Okay then, Nami, hold on tight!"

Dalton's brow furrowed, "If you are truly serious about this, I will not stop you. But please ascend from the slope opposite this one. The path from here is inhabited by Lapahn. They are a ravenous species of rabbit. If you were to encounter a pack of them, you would surely die."

Vivi and Usopp's eyes bulged out.

"Rabbits?" Your captain tilted his head, "But we're in a hurry."

You waved your hand lazily, "Meh, they'll be fine. Don't worry about it."

"Shishi! If our psycho says we'll be okay, then we'll be just great! Let's go, Sanji! Before Nami dies!"

"Eh! Don't say such a goddamn ominous joke, you shithead!"

"Shishishi!"

You smirked as you watched them take off towards the gigantic mountain. Wincing slightly, you realised that Mello couldn't even extend to the top of that thing.

"Will they really be okay?" Dalton moved next to you, squinting at the disappearing figures.

Usopp sighed, "Well, you don't need to worry about those two guys, but…"

"The real concern is whether Miss Nami's strength can last long enough. I...hope they make it safely."

The four of you stood there in silence for quite some time watching after them, even after they had disappeared from sight. You gritted your teeth. This was the last shot you guys had to make Nami well again. All your hope rested on Sanji and Luffy's shoulders now.

' _Good luck you guys.'_

Eventually, Dalton opened the door to his house. Noticing the rest of you weren't following him inside, he raised an eyebrow, "Is something wrong, you three? You should come in, it is quite cold outside."

Vivi held up her hands politely, "I'm fine! I'd rather stay out here."

"M-m-me t-t-t-too!"

"I'm just peachy, thanks." you grinned, "I can deal with this sort of temperature no problem."

With that, the three of you turned once more towards the large mountain. Your other two friends had pink noses from the cold and shivered slightly. But you had no doubt in your mind they wouldn't move inside until Nami's health had been returned.

"I see." The large man shut the door, and instead sat down in the snow, "Then I shall remain here as well." He smiled gently, before shooting you a suspicious glance, "You were right. I would like to talk to you if I can."

You smiled, before moving over and sitting cross-legged opposite him, "Not a problem, but first, can you tell us why this country's king is roaming the seas like a pirate? I still haven't quite figured that one out yet."

" _Excuse me? I am doing all the deducing here!"_

"Huh?" Usopp blinked at you, "You mean Wapol is this country's king? That fat guy?"

Dalton paused before nodding, "That man is indeed our king, to our misfortune." He bowed his head, "This country, not less than a year ago, was completely ravaged at the hands of a pirate crew."

Vivi gasped.

"The whole country!?" Usopp's eyes widened.

"Well that explains the friendly reception we got." You grimaced, "I thought it was worse than it should have been."

"Yes. The citizens here are not yet ready to hear the word 'pirate' again. You must excuse their behavior." Dalton pinched the bridge of his nose, "It was a pirate crew of only five members. Their captain called himself…'Blackbeard'..."

"Gah!" You clasped your head in your hands as a migraine shot through all your thoughts. An image. You were getting an image...of a man...Extremely tall...Massive round body...Spindly limbs...Big mouth with many missing or broken teeth...Small piggy eyes, laughing mockingly...A pronounced crooked nose...Very large and hairy chest and torso...Long, thick, woolly black hair reaching down the back of his neck...A scruffy black bandanna...And a small scruffy black beard.

Blackbeard.

You shivered. Those eyes gave you chills.

' _What is that monster…?'_

Mello was just as terrified as you, " _We've never had this response before. And this was merely from mentioning his name. Just what sort of future does this man possess?"_

' _I...don't want to find out…'_

A hand tapped on your shoulder. Not expecting the contact, you flinched.

"Are you alright, Miss (y/n)?"

You realised Vivi, Usopp and even Dalton were eyeing you worriedly. You smiled, and even to you it felt fake, "It's nothing you guys. Just a headache."

Vivi and Usopp exchanged concerned glances.

"Anyways, Dalton," You whipped your head back to him in an effort to draw their attention away from you, "This really strong group of pirates attacked and completely destroyed the country, right? Even some of the buildings round here area in tatters."

"They did, not a single place was left unscathed." He sighed, closing his eyes, "However, some would say it was good for this country."

Vivi growled, "How can the wreckage of your country be a good thing!?"

"Yeah! Who can possibly say that!?"

"You may be surprised. There are many countries out there where the citizens of which would want nothing more to be freed from their country. Trust me, I've seen them. But," you grimaced, "not like this. A pirate raid of that magnitude should never be treated as a 'good thing'."

Dalton raised his head to smile at the three of you, "Thank you. The fact that you all think so negatively of this act is pleasing to hear. But while what you have said is true, until that time, the monarchy of this country had been causing misery for the people."

You gritted your teeth, "That damn Wapol!"

"Correct." Dalton clenched his fists, a crease forming between his brows, "He was the worst king imaginable." He turned to you, "You said that you met him as a pirate somewhere around here, didn't you."

You nodded.

"He's using piracy as a temporary camouflage. Wapol is drifting around at sea, trying to make his way back to this island."

Tapping her chin, Vivi's eyes widened, "So then, the people on his ship must have been those chased away because they couldn't stand up to the Blackbeard Pirates that attacked your island."

Cringing a little at the headache from Blackbeard's name, you couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter, "Wapol? Trying to stand up to pirates that strong? To defend his country? You're kidding, right?"

She stared at you incredulously.

"She's right." Dalton's face darkened, his entire body trembling with rage, "Back then, Wapol's forces did not even  _try_  to fight back!"

Jaw dropping, Vivi clenched her fists. Her entire body shook from head to toe.

"The moment he became aware of the pirates' strength he immediately abandoned the country! Wapol was the  _first_  to flee to the ocean and escape! That was what caused the country to fall into despair. Is that how a country's-"

"IS THAT HOW A COUNTRY'S KING SHOULD ACT!?"

Eyes widening slightly, you glanced over your shoulder at Vivi's furious face.

"How hideous…" She wrinkled her nose, "A king that abandons his people."

"Vivi…"

Knitting your eyebrows, you stared determinedly at Dalton, "Let me guess, you guys don't want him back."

He grimaced, "The one thing we fear most is Wapol's return. The restoration of the monarchy. With the people so insecure, we must prevent that in order to realise a new country of peace."

Cracking your knuckles, you smirked, "That's where we come in. Now if you don't mind..." You stood up, summoning Mello under your breath. When the scythe appeared, you rested him on your shoulder, "...I'm going to scout the island for a bit. I want to be familiar with this place if and when Wapol comes. Besides," You scratched your chin with a finger, "the villagers would probably be more than a little bit wary of me, so it's best I get out of here."

"Eh? You're sure (y/n)?"

"You will be careful, won't you?"

You giggled, "Of course! I'll be fine, don't you worry! Well then, let's go Mello!"

" _Whenever you're ready!"_

"Extend!"

The look on Dalton's face as Mello's shaft extended was priceless. You couldn't stop giggling even until you reached the maximum height.

" _Please stop Missy. You look most undignified."_

"To who the wind?" But you stopped, before looking around you with a hand above your eyes, "Damn it's hard to see in this snow...so how about it? Left, right, straight ahead or behind?"

" _How about in a 5.30 direction."_

"Ooooooh classy. Alrighty then," You smirked, leaning backwards and letting gravity do its work, "Let's do this thing!"

Using Mello's Retract and Extend technique, you zipped around the island for some time, avoiding the area by the cylindrical mountains. The order was the same each time; land, explore around the area for a bit, extend Mello, go to new area, repeat. This was the tenth place you explored, and it was very much the same as the others. Snow and snowy pine trees.

"Seriously, is there no diversity here?"

" _Well what do you expect? It is a winter island."_

"Oh come on, we've been to winter islands more excit-" You stopped dead as a crunch of footsteps in snow drew closer. Your hands tightened on Mello's shaft apprehensively.

"Huh? Missy? Man am I glad to see you!"

You gaped, "Mop-boy? What the hell are you doing here, you were supposed to be on the Merry. And more importantly WHY ARE YOU SHIRTLESS!?"

" _I must say...he does have a very fine physique."_

' _Oh yeah...Yeah he does...HANG ON THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR THAT DAMN IT MELLO!'_

Recalling Mello, you whipped off your jacket and offered it to the shivering swordsman, "It won't fit, but it's better than nothing."

"What about…"

"I'm a freak of nature, I'll be fine."

Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"Your pride will get you nowhere if you freeze. Just take it already."

He accepted the jacket gratefully, slinging it over his shoulders like a makeshift cape, "...Thanks."

You sighed, putting your hands on your hips, "So lemme guess. You were doing some training and got lost."

He stared at you in shock.

Pounding your fist in the air, you whooped, "Hell yeah, got it in one!"

"So…" He looked around, "Do you have any idea where the Merry is? Everywhere looks the same here."

"Actually, I don't for once. And I don't think I can use Mello to find it," Raising your hand in the air, snow settled in your palm, "This snow is falling way heavier than earlier; I'm not sure I can see in this at that height."

Zoro pointed behind you, "Then why don't we ask her?"

Turning round, you gasped. Behind you was a stationary wooden sleigh, pulled by a reindeer in trousers and a pink top hat with a white cross. Seated in the sleigh itself, an elderly looking woman drained the contents of a purple bottle with ease. To your shock, her body looked like it belonged to a twenty year old, not matching her face. She grinned at you, her two pairs of glasses gleaming.

You gulped, "Doctor Kureha, I presume."


	19. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, I would have enough bellies to make Nami drool.

You gulped, "Doctor Kureha, I presume."

The woman grinned. "Why, who else would I be?"

"Hang on!" Your eyes bulged out as you pointed at her, "Why are you not at home!?"

The reindeer growled at you.

" _Missy! He's got a blue nose!"_

' _Oh whoop-dee-doop, let's just focus on more important things here!'_

"Huh?" Zoro turned to you, "What're you talking 'bout?"

"Easy Chopper." She took a swig of her bottle, "I don't stay up there all the time, y'know. A young, too young, lady like myself needs to earn a living."

Zoro snickered, "A young lady huh? I think you're going senile, old bat!"

You glared at him panicked, "Not the time!" Facing the woman, you bowed low, arms stuck to your sides. "One of our friends is very sick, and she really needs a doctor. She doesn't have much time left! We thought you would be in your castle, so two of my nakama are heading up there right now with our sick friend. So please can you hurry up to the castle and save her!" You babbled manically, the words coming out in a rush.

Zoro's breath hitched, "No way! This is bad!" Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him bow next to you. Your jacket fell off his shoulders. "Please help our friend."

"Heeheeheehee!"

Glancing up, you saw Kureha take another swig.

"Oh this is all very touching," she grinned, tilting her head, "but we need to discuss the matter of payment. My services don't come cheap after all."

Your eyes widened, "Well…we don't have any money…"

The old woman cackled, "Well that's a shame then isn't it. I'm afraid I can't help you then."

The reindeer, Chopper was it, blinked in confusion.

Gritting your teeth, you straightened. ' _Okay, so I have an idea, but you're not going to like it.'_

" _You are correct. I do not like this idea. It is quite foolhardy."_

' _Tough, because it's the only thing we've got.'_

" _As much as it pains me to say it...I agree."_

Taking a dagger from your side pouch, you winced. Quickly, before you had second thoughts, you slashed it across your other wrist. Blood welled up almost immediately.

"Hey!" Zoro snatched the dagger away from you, eyes wide, "The hell're you doing Missy?! Are you insane!?"

You giggled sadly, "Of course I am." You held your cut wrist up towards Kureha to show the black blood trickling down your arm. "You can use me as a test subject, I won't resist or anything." Grimacing slightly, you watched the cut close up, "As you can tell...I'm a freak of nature. My immune system is way better than normal humans', so you can probably test out more things on me than you can on other people." You winced, "I'm used to it, don't worry."

"Missy…"

You felt a hand gingerly touch your shoulder. A wonky smile wormed its way onto your face, "Hell,  _I_  don't even know how my body works, so you would probably know more than I would in the end." You bowed once more, "So would that be enough to pay for my friend's treatment? I'm begging you, please!"

Kureha crossed her arms. Tilting her head, she stroked her chin, "So you're willing to sell off your own body just for your friend...Most interesting…" She smiled at you, "This friend of yours must be very important to you."

"Of course she's important, she's our nakama!" Zoro frowned at her, before turning to you. Frowning, he crossed his arms, "That's why there is no way in hell that I'm letting you do this. You're our nakama too-"

"Which is why I need to do everything I possibly can to help protect you guys!" You pointed towards the tallest mountain, "Luffy and Sanji are risking their lives right now to get Nami up that mountain. The least I can do is use this freakish body of mine to make sure that she gets treated. They're my friends too dammit, so let me do this! Besides, how much of a choice do we have here?"

He grimaced, "I still don't like this."

Kureha leant forwards towards him, "You should respect her wishes, boy."

He growled, "Shut up granny, this is our problem! Stay out of it!"

"...You should watch what you say."

You gulped as her arm flew out to connect with Zoro's jaw. The swordsman soared through the air into a patch of snow a few meters away.

The doctor clenched her fist, "I'm still in my young, too young, 130s!" Grabbing your wrist, she effortlessly dragged you into the sleigh. "Let's go, Chopper. We have a patient to see."

The reindeer sped off towards the mountain at a fast pace, leaving Zoro far behind.

"HEY HOLD IT! GIVE MISSY BACK YOU HAG!" He tried to give chase, only to trip and fall face first into a pile of snow.

You winced, "Sorry Mop-boy."

"What an rude boy." She grinned at you, grabbing another bottle, "Have to say, I'm looking forward to investigating you, Missy Sai."

"Yeah yeah, of course you know who I am. But I'm actually looking forward to it too." Rubbing your head, you giggled nervously, "As I said, I have no idea how I actually tick. If you don't mind, can you please tell me what you find?"

"Heeheeheehee! What sort of doctor would I be if I didn't tell my patients what was wrong with them."

"Thanks. By the way, do you have any alcohol I can have? It's been a long day..."

Grinning wider, she held out her bottle.

Without even blinking, you took it and drained the entire contents. "Bwah! That's some good plum sake! Boy I needed that, thanks!"

She cackled, "You have good taste, kid."

"So I've been told."

"So." Straightening her glasses, Kureha got out a notebook and pencil, "Care to tell me about your superhuman healing and black blood?"

You flinched, "If you don't mind, can we wait until we're at your castle. I'm a government secret, so the fewer people who know about this freakshow, the better."

The rhythm of hooves faltered slightly.

"We can keep secrets, can't we Chopper?"

The reindeer dipped his head slightly.

"Heeheeheehee! Don't mind him, he's a bit shy around humans."

Leaning on the railing, you sighed, "Well I barely consider myself human anymore, so he's got nothing to be worried about."

* * *

"I see. Most interesting," A devilish grin flitted across the 'young' 139 year old's face. She pointed her pencil towards you, "So you say that you have another consciousness residing within you, and he manifests himself as a weapon."

"Yeah, a scythe." Leaning out of the sleigh, you watched the trees and villages disappear into tiny pin pricks. ' _Have to admit, I'm impressed.'_

" _Gondola cars linked to the castle, quite a feat of engineering. Equally awe inspiring is how this reindeer and sleigh are comfortably running on the cables."_

"No wonder they thought you were a witch," you giggled. "To anyone else, it'd look like you were flying!" Pursing your lips, you watched the avalanche of white snow wash over the trees, ' _I hope they're alright.'_

"Did you want to know about my secret of eternal youth?"

You hung your head, "For the last time, NO! I'm enough of a freak as it is without the immortality thanks."

Chopper snorted.

"See!" You gestured to the reindeer, "He understands!"

The smile on Kureha's face faltered slightly, "I'm sure he does. But back to my original question, can I meet this consciousness? Or at least see him in scythe form"

"Unfortunately those are two different conditions. Either Mello is in scythe form and only I can communicate with him, or our consciousnesses swap places." You shrugged, "There's no middle ground really, so which would you prefer?"

"I see…" She tapped the pencil on the paper, "Then can you 'swap consciousnesses'." Cackling, she tilted her head towards the reindeer, "I must say that we never thought we would be examining an ancient weapon today, did we Chopper?"

A squeaky, youngish voice came from the front of the sleigh, "No, Doctorine. I personally am curious about her blood. The consistency looked slightly thicker than regular blood, so I was wondering whether she had a higher concentration of haemoglobin."

You blinked. ' _Did that reindeer...just say something? Have I drank too much sake again?'_

" _I did mention the blue nose earlier. You should have realised that he was important."_

' _Oh yeah, because having a blue nose gives you the ability to talk. That sounds about right.'_  Scratching your head, you gulped, ' _Have to admit though, you have a point.'_

" _Of course I do."_

' _Devil fruit?'_

" _Either that or a mink. Although finding a mink here would be highly improbable."_

' _Oh imagine Luffy meeting him!'_

" _If the poor creature isn't eaten first, I am positive that he will do his best to make him join the crew."_

You hummed in agreement, turning towards Chopper, "Just to be sure, I didn't just imagine you saying something did I?"

He stumbled slightly, head whipping towards you, The sleigh rocked precariously on the wire. "Ah! Well...yeah, it must have been your imagination! I can't talk, you dummy!"

Sharply exhaling, Kureha pinched the bridge of her nose.

You raised an eyebrow, "Right, my mistake."

Chopper's mouth fell open, "Ah! No! I mean-"

"That's so cool!" You grinned broadly, "I don't get why you're so worried about it."

He blinked, "Wait...you're not afraid of me?"

You laughed, "Why would I be? I'm not exactly normal myself, if you haven't noticed."

"Why don't you introduce yourself, Chopper." Kureha grinned, reaching down for another bottle of plum sake.

He gulped, turning his head forwards once more. "My name's Tony Tony Chopper. I'm training under Doctorine to become a doctor. It's nice to meet you." Each sentence was spat out harshly. You could see what Kureha meant when she said that he didn't trust humans.

"I'm Saioney (y/n), otherwise known as Missy to those who hate me. Also known as freak, monster, demon and so on, take your pick." You leant forwards slightly, resting your head on a hand, "So why exactly would I be afraid of you? Either you've eaten a devil fruit, or you're a mink. Nothing to it. I mean, you don't look like you'd hurt a fly."

"Oh I ate the human-human fruit, but that's not why you should be repulsed by me." He dipped his head down, "I have a blue nose, that's why."

"Oh I see." Draped over the side of the sleigh, you smiled weakly at the white scenery below, "You got rejected from your herd. I'm guessing the devil fruit didn't help matters either."

His face lit up, "Are you magic?! That's so awesome!"

' _That sounds familiar.'_  You winked before sighing in exasperation, "It's a tale as old as time. Anyhow, I actually like your blue nose. It shows you'll be important."

Blinking, Chopper tilted his head to the side. Kureha's brow furrowed, and she raised an eyebrow.

" _You need to clarify, Missy."_

"Well, I explained my visions, didn't I? Before our crew landed here, the words 'blue nose' just popped into my head. That means that you'll be important in our future." You grinned, "I may have a slight hunch about what that role might be, but I'll leave that one for our captain to decide."

The female doctor cackled, "I think I know what you're getting at, girl."

"Huh?" Chopper blinked his eyes at you, "I don't get it."

" _Oh dear lord, he's adorable."_

' _I don't need you getting mushy on me you stupid scythe.'_

"Ah, we've arrived." Kureha grinned as the sleigh drew up in front of a snowy castle, "Now where are these friends of yours?"

Vaguely registering the fantasy castle, you raced out of the sleigh, "Luffy! Sanji! Where are you guys!"

Leaving Kureha and Chopper calling your name, you dashed off towards the ledge. "You'd better be alive!"

Amidst the whistles of the wind, a muffled but familiar voice rose up from beneath your feet.

"...(y/n)...?"

Eyes widening, you glanced down the mountain side. Crouching down onto the snow, you screamed, "LUFFY!"

The boy looked up towards you, clinging on far down below you on the mountain side. You were relieved to see Nami was still strapped across his back, but the sight of Sanji hanging limply in the air was worrying to say the least. Only carried by his jacket, clamped in Luffy's mouth, even from that distance you could tell he had been beaten up badly.

"Hold on, I'm coming! Mellontas!"

" _Leave everything to me!"_

The scythe formed in your hand, before extending down quickly towards the three people. Something dribbled out of your nose as he extended far greater than his maximum length.

"Don't you dare die!"

Blade dulled, he rapidly wrapped around them all while making sure not to unnecessarily aggravate their wounds.

" _I'm done."_

"Got it." Gripping the handle as tightly as you could, you dug your feet into the snow as Mello retracted his shaft. Your vision blurred as something filled your eyes. You couldn't tell if it was blood or tears.

"You can't...You just can't!"

Biting your lip, you tasted rust. You barely registered it as your arms screamed with the effort of keeping hold of the scythe.

"I CAN'T LOSE YOU GUYS!"

With one final heave, Luffy, Sanji and Nami spilled over the ledge and collapsed on top of you. You recalled Mello, gasping for breath.

"...(y/n)..." Luffy slowly shifted above you.

You felt your breath get caught in your throat as you eventually registered his appearance. Somewhere along the journey he had lost his winter coat, leaving his body blue with cold and covered in bruises and scratches. Something dripped from his fingers onto your shoulder. Tilting your head, you saw his worn down fingers and toes, bloodied and raw.

"Oh Kronos," Sitting up, you hugged him tightly, "I should have gone with you! Why the hell did I stay behind? It's my fault, I should have seen this coming!"

"...(y/n)..."

Your eyes widened as Luffy's face lit up into a lazy grin, his gaze not focusing on anything.

"...made it…(y/n)...doctor…" His eyes rolled backwards and he collapsed into your arms.

"You sure did, Cap…" Finally breaking down into hysterical sobs, you clutched him tighter, "You...made it…"

* * *

"Doctorine, there's an antibody response."

The crushing of herbs.

"Yeah. As there should be. So what is the origin of the disease? Can you tell me?"

Something bubbled merrily.

"Kestia."

Jars clinked together.

"That's right. It's a Kestia. You look after the girl. We can't examine a depressed patient, it alters the blood flow."

"Okay." You heard Chopper potter out of the little room and stop in front of you, "Uh...Miss (y/n)...?"

"Just call me (y/n)..." you mumbled. Crouching in a corner, you held your head in your hands.

Two tiny hooves tentatively stepped forwards, "Are you alright, can I get you anything?"

You shook your head loosely, "I'm fine. I just...got a scare. That's all."

Something was put down, and your head was tilted up by Chopper's hoof. He peered at you suspiciously, placing a hoof on your forehead. The sight of his short two-legged transformation didn't phase you, you had seen him transform into a giant to carry your friends inside. He also had been forced to carry you, because you wouldn't stop crying.

Biting your lip, you winced at the memory.

"There don't seem to be any symptoms of shock." He opened one of your eyes fully, shining a light towards it. You flinched at the sudden brightness, "Your pupil are dilating as normal at least, and your skin isn't clammy…"

"I'm fine, Chopper." You smiled weakly, "But thanks for checking up on me."

"You looked like you cared a lot for them." He tilted his head to the side, "Your friends I mean. You must have known them for a long time."

You chuckled, "Not really. It's been about a month and a half since I first met them. Heck,  _I_ didn't even think that I cared for them so much until I saw them almost dead on that mountainside."

Almost unbidden, memories flooded into your head. Luffy standing up for you in front of Crocus. Sanji sitting with you in a tree after that awful, awful vision. Zoro telling you how freakish you were as a human being. Usopp racing you to try and stop Zoro from reaching the helm. Nami screaming at how worn down your clothes were, before shoving you in the direction of the crow's nest. Vivi screaming at you to not use Carue as sea king bait.

Everyone smiling and laughing together as you reached the top of Reverse Mountain.

"They're family. They...complete a part of me that I had no idea was missing." As soon as you spoke, you knew the words were true. Mello on your back hummed in agreement. On a whim, you summoned him and hugged the shaft tightly. "When I was part of the government, all they did was remind me that I was created for the sake of justice." Your grip tightened, "I wasn't a human or a person to them, I was a weapon that they could use as they pleased. A monster that they could place all the blame on."

A cloven hoof touched your hand. Chopper's wide eyes glistened.

Babbling now, you couldn't stop the words flowing out, "I was alone for so...so long, always doubting if I even deserved to live. When I first met Luffy, I don't know what I was thinking. I respected his confidence, and I guess that boosted my own to give me the courage to actually  _do_ something. I thought that they would throw me off almost immediately as soon as I said I was a government secret. But those guys just...accepted me without even blinking. Well...Usopp might not have immediately..."

You grinned, "I can never repay them for that. Somehow they've become the family me and Mello have never had." You leant your head against the scythe, "I'm sure he'd agree with that."

You felt his blade gently caress your head, " _I couldn't have said it better myself, Missy."_

Realising just how much you'd said to a stranger, you sheepishly scratched your head, "Sorry about that. I just needed to get that off my chest-"

A large sniffle made you look up.

Chopper let out a sob, tears pouring out of his eyes. "Do you think...hic...something like me...hic...could find a family like that too…?"

He looked so distraught you didn't know how to act. Settling for patting his pink hat, you leant down towards him, "I think you already have found one. You have Doctor Kureha, don't you. She obviously cares for you a lot. Besides, if  _I_ can get a family, then you definitely can."

"Can...you...hic...be my family too?"

His pitiful voice broke your heart. You scooped him up into a hug, muffling your voice, "Do you even need to ask?"

Finally throwing his arms around your neck, Chopper bawled into your shoulder. You squeezed him tightly. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Mello slowly circle round both of you protectively. You smiled amist Chopper's fur.

"Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realise it's shorter than normal, but this seemed a natural, place to end the chapter.
> 
> As a quick question, do you prefer Missy as a reader-insert, or do you think I should turn her into an OC and write this in third person? Genuinely curious here, so please let me know what you think. Reviews and comments make my day :D


	20. A new little brother?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, I would probably be drunk. There are far too many people who love drinking in one piece.

"BIG SIS (y/n)!"

Blinking open heavy eyelids, you slowly sat up from the cot, "Huh? Big...sis…(y/n)?"

A brown ball of fluff catapulted itself into your face, "SAVE MEEEEEEEE!"

"Gwah...Is that you Chopper?" Detaching the bipedal reindeer from your face, you stared at him until the stars left your vision.

' _My head...I get that my body isn't affected by normal anesthetics, but hell. What did that damn doctor give me? '_

" _Concussion."_

' _Oh…'_  Glancing at Chopper trembling on your lap, your eyes widened, "Hang on, save you from what."

Your head flipped towards a loud crash which...sounded like someone...or something...had just run into the wall…

"WHERE ARE YOU, MEAT?! I WANNA EAT YOU!"

"NOT BEFORE I PROPERLY COOK IT YOU IDIOT!"

You blinked, "Ah."

"HUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAH!" Luffy, minus his trademark hat, and Sanji sprinted through the narrow door. Or at least, they attempted to. Unless getting stuck in the door and grappling with each other frantically was their plan, in which case they were doing that just fine.

"Oi Sanji, you're in the way!"

"I was here first, you dumbass!

Halfway through shoving his hand in Sanji's face, Luffy glanced up to finally register you. He raised an eyebrow, "Oi (y/n)? What're you doing here? I thought you stayed behind."

"(y/n)-chan?!" Sanji kicked the hand away, face lighting up at the sight of you, "Were you so worried about your handsome knight that you followed me up here, mademoiselle~?"

Amidst the tangled limbs, you saw how both their bodies were covered with layers of white bandages. Your brow twitched, before you gave an exaggerated pout, "Well damn, you saw right through me, Flirty."

His grin widened goofily, "Really?!"

' _Now I can be really really mean here...'_

" _Just let him have his moment. This is the first time his affections have been reciprocated after all, even if it was laced with sarcasm."_

' _Ouch, that's cold... But I guess you have a point. I don't think he'll take me saying that Luffy is my 'handsome knight' well.'_

" _Why would you ever think that…"_

' _You were saying about sarcasm?'_

Luffy took advantage of Sanji's moment of weakness, placing a hand in the cook's chest to shoot himself forwards. He landed as a crumpled mess on top of the cot in front of you grinning wildly, "You caught the meat! Awesome, now gimme!" Drool pouring out of his mouth, he stretched his arms towards you.

Chopper squeaked.

"HEY YOU BASTARD, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" Sanji stormed in, dusting debris off his shoulder, "ME AND (y/n)-CHWAN WERE HAVING A MOMENT!"

Giggling, you flicked Luffy's head, scooping Chopper to the side, "You can't eat him, Cap."

"THAT'S RIGHT!" The reindeer snapped, "SO DON'T EVEN TRY!"

"Wait…" Luffy's jaw dropped, "YOU CAN TALK?!"

Sanji froze mid step. "Oh yeah…" he mumbled, "and it was walking upright…"

The two faced each other in horror, "MONSTER!"

Both you and Chopper flinched.

You winced, "Okay now that was uncalled for..."

"W-what is it!?" The rubber boy jumped off the bed, flailing his arms, "If it walks on two legs."

"...and it looks like a reindeer…"

"...and it's furry…"

"...and it's short…"

"...and then it gets big…"

They both gulped, "...IT'S A MONSTER!"

You pinched the bridge of your nose, "Wow guys...I don't know whether to applaud your stupidity or your insensitiveness. Cap I knew about, but Flirty? I expected better."

Glancing towards the little reindeer, you frowned. His arms had dropped limply to his sides, head buried in your arms. You gave him a tight squeeze, glaring at your crewmates.

Slowly, Luffy's head turned towards Chopper with an all too familiar sparkle in his eyes. "I like him! That's so cool!"

Chopper blinked.

"Sanji! (y/n)!"

"Oh no…" You sighed tiredly, "I know that look…"

Sanji smirked, "It's not like we can really do anything to stop him."

Luffy clenched his fists, a large grin plastered on his face, "Let's make him our nakama!"

Shifting in your arms, Chopper turned to look at him incredulously, "You...aren't afraid of me?"

Poking his head, you giggled, "They put up with me, don't they?" Leaning down next to him, you whispered into his ear, pointing at Luffy, "And if you want my opinion, I think Cap here's much more of a monster than you or me."

Chopper giggled with you at that, "Big sis (y/n)...I don't think that's…"

"Well yeah, I like monsters!" A head stretched towards you, "So you wanna be my nakama? I really really like you!"

"HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The little doctor scampered out of your grasp to 'hide' behind you, "HIS NECK!"

You shrugged, "Devil fruit, same as you."

"Hang on…" he pointed at himself, "Me? Nakama?"

Luffy's head grinned, "Yeah! You'll be a pirate!"

You felt the back of your top get scrunched, "I don't give a damn about pirates!"

"Oi Cap!" You flicked the head back to its owner, the neck recoiling with a snap, "Give him a break. You've been chasing Chopper around the castle for I don't know how long calling him food, and now you want to call him nakama instead? I'm not against the idea, but it's a bit much to take in after all." Glaring at Sanji, you crossed your arms in a huff, "And you, Flirty! I'd expect this from the rubber brained idiot, but you should know better!"

"But you must forgive me, (y/n)-chan," Sanji knelt next to the cot, gesturing at Chopper, "I just wanted to make a venison dish to celebrate Nami-swan's full recovery."

"EEP!"

"Wait," Flipping your head to Chopper, a massive grin filled your face, "Nami's awake? That's awesome!"

The reindeer nodded. "I was just coming to tell you when these two idiots decided it would be a good idea TO EAT ME!" Facing Sanji and Luffy, he growled.

Sanji had the decency to turn away, rubbing the back of his neck. Your captain, on the other hand, just met Chopper's gaze with large sparkly eyes, "A talking tanuki, that's so cool!"

"I'M A REINDEER!"

"Are you sure?" Luffy frowned, a hand on his chin "You sure don't look like one."

"OF COURSE I'M SURE, YOU DUMBASS!" Glaring at you, Chopper crossed his hooves, "Tell them, big sis (y/n)."

If it was even possible, Luffy's eyes started sparking more, "(y/n), you never told us you were half tanuki! A half tanuki psycho with a freaky weapon! So cool!"

You opened your mouth to object, but before you could even say a word a hand chopped him on the head, "That's because she's none of those thing, you idiot!" Spinning towards you, Sanji's eyes morphed into hearts, "(y/n)-chan is the very image of perfection!"

"Pfffft!" Clasping your stomach, you doubled over in a fit of giggles, "Perfection huh? Thanks Flirty, I needed a good laugh!"

"Deformation of the auditory region. Quite peculiar." Something tapped you on the back, "Big sis (y/n), is this a common occurrence?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, he does this a lot." Wiping your eyes, you tilted your head questioningly at the pensive reindeer, "I meant to ask earlier, what's with the 'Big sis (y/n)' stuff? You can just call me (y/n), it's fine."

Chopper immediately found great interest in his own hooves, "Well...you said you could be my family...uh...so…and...uh...I've always wanted a big sister...so I thought...uh...you...you could be…"

"Awww." Luffy pouted, "So you're not half tanuki. Boooooooooring."

"I'M A REINDEER!"

"Oh ignore him," Sanji grinned childishly, pointing at himself, "I haven't introduced myself yet, have I. I'm Sanji, but you can call me 'Big bro Sanji', alright!"

"OOOOOH! I wanna be a big bro too! Big bro Luffy! That sounds cool!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE THE MENTAL AGE TO BE CALLED THE BIG BROTHER TO ANYONE!"

Chopper looked at the two of them as if they were something he had scraped off his hoof.

You giggled as your two crewmates squabled between themselves.

' _I'm so glad they're alright.'_

" _They definitely gave us quite a scare."_

Smiling softly, you reached round to ruffle Chopper's fur.

' _...yeah.'_

* * *

"Doctorine! Big sis (y/n)! HELP MEEEE!"

"Just join our crew already! It'll be awesome! Everyone'll love you!"

Nami sighed as she shifted her position on the cot, "Are those two still at it?"

Slamming your head onto the nearby table, you groaned as the reindeer and rubber man duo screamed their way round the castle for the hundredth time that day, "This is getting ridiculous, and from me that's saying something."

"No kidding. I just want some rest." Shaking her head, Nami chuckled limply.

Turning your head to properly look at her, you smiled. Whatever Kureha had given her had worked wonders. Despite her tiredness, Nami's skin was slowly getting back to it's usual colour and she didn't look so clammy.

Noticing the attention you were giving her, Nami arched an eyebrow, "Is there a problem?"

You grinned, "I'm just...really glad you're alright!"

"Oh?" She huffed dramatically, crossing her arms, "I heard from Sanji that you predicted my death. Looks like you didn't have that much faith in me."

"I never  _predicted_ your death." You raised a finger pointedly, "Your future was just disappearing at...a worryingly fast pace…" Wincing slightly, you curled your head up in your arms, "And from what Doctor Kureha told me...if we hadn't found her when we did…"

You trailed off, not needing to say the rest. Nami turned away, biting her lip. Giggling weakly, you sat back on your chair, "Well, at least this means that I can be wrong, huh? I don't know about you, but I find that reassuring."

She grinned at you, "I wouldn't be so sure. It really is handy to have someone who at least has a hint of what's coming. God knows what would have happened to us so far if you weren't there." She ran a hand through her hair, "Especially in Little Garden. Dorry was a massive help, and he would have been unable to fight if you hadn't interfered."

Ignoring the angry throbbing coming from Mello, you giggled and rubbed the back of your neck, "That really means a lot, thanks!"

"But!" She jabbed her finger towards you, "That doesn't mean you're off the hook, Missy! You still have to do your best to make sure we make our way out of this mess alive, got it? Or I'll cut your allowance."

"I have an allowance?! Like, actual money allowance?!"

Her lips met in a fine line.

"Ah...Y-yes Ma'am!"

"Oh Nami-san!" Sanji gracefully kicked open the door, arms laden with two trays, "In order to help you regain your health, I've prepared an extra special meal for your enjoyment."

"Oh, thank you Sanji."

Setting one before Nami, he turned and placed the other tray on the table in front of you, "Forgive me (y/n)-san, but I thought that the last time we spoke you looked quite exhausted. Therefore I took it upon myself to make you a special something to energise you."

You deadpanned, "You just wanted to impress me, didn't you." However, as you glanced down at the large array of desserts on your tray with your meal, your eyes lit up, "But you know what, I don't care! Thanks a bunch Flirty!"

" _Honestly Missy...After consuming so many of the cook's sugary delicacies, you would think you would have a little more restraint."_

Your only response was to flick your left shoulder as you drooled.

"Unbelievable." Kureha clicked her tongue as she leant on the wall, "When did you decide you could use the kitchen?"

Sanji smiled over his shoulder, "Madam, the roast in there is high in protein and will rejuvenate-!"

Nami calmly raised her tray to avoid the well placed kick that sent Sanji flying across the room. You ducked as he sailed over your head and crashed into the wall behind.

"I am not a 'madam'." Nudging the twitching body out of her way, Kureha stalked forwards, scowling, "I am an unwed flower. Still too young, far too young."

"139, right?" Nami cut into the meat on the tray in front of her.

"HEY! Doctorine, Big sis (y/n), SAVE ME!"

A brown ball of fur flew past you and threw the door, leaving a 'Chopper shaped' hole.

"Hold up! Oi, wait, WAIT!"

A red, blue and yellow blur soon followed. You winced at the loud smack your captain made when he collided with the door. He didn't have much time to recover as Chopper sprinted out of the room, several large jars rolling out behind him. The reindeer wisely chose to hide behind him mentor, clutching onto her leg.

Luffy, not realising the danger he was in, grinned down at the small reindeer, "I've got ya cornered!"

You, Nami and the newly recovered Sanji sighed as the two chased each other around the unamused doctor.

Nami rubbed her head, "You should just give up, Chopper. Our captain is a little...thickheaded."

"That's putting it mildly," you mumbled as you took another bite of your meal.

"Yeah!" Luffy's eyes sparkled, "This guy's gonna be our newest nakama!"

"I never agreed to that!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

Kureha glared down at them "You two are giving me a headache."

Gulping, the two stepped back slowly before sprinting to another room.

The 'too young' doctor's eyes narrowed as she watched them go, "Nakama, eh? You have no idea how deep a meaning that word holds for him..."

' _That's my cue to leave.'_

Chair scraping against the cobblestone floor, you stood up holding your empty plate, "Thanks for the meal, Flirty. Excellent as always. I'll...just go clean this up…" Leaving the room, you paused for a moment to nod knowingly at Kureha.

"If you can catch him, go rescue Chopper from that idiot captain of yours," she quietly muttered into your ear, "We found some...interesting data from our experiments. I think you'll be quite interested."

Your lips tightened to a fine line, and you stepped out of the room.

' _I originally left because I didn't want to hear Chopper's story, but that's got me curious.'_

" _Agreed. I suggest after we've returned this plate, we collect Chopper to find out immediately."_  A wave of curiosity rippled through your skin, " _But...why did you not want to listen?"_

' _The way he reacted earlier… and his broken antler...It's probably far to similar to ours for comfort, but maybe with an added loss of a loved one. Or two.'_  You frowned. ' _I...just can't listen to another story like that.'_

Mello hummed with agreement, and you walked the rest of the way to the kitchen in silence.

* * *

Catching the two sprinters as they zipped all over the castle actually wasn't as bad as you had originally thought it was going to be. All it took was a bit of that roast that Sanji had prepared, and Luffy was stopped dead in his tracks. The only problematic thing was it took Chopper a while to realise that no one was chasing him anymore. But once he finally noticed, the reindeer slowed down and collapsed against a wall, panting.

Not missing the opportunity, you jogged up next to him, "Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Huh? Big...heh...sis...(y/n)?" He slowly turned to you, tongue hanging out his mouth, "Sure...what'd you...heh...want?"

You leant down and repeated what Kureha had told you.

The reaction was instantaneous. Hopping back onto his feet...or hooves...Chopper started to purposefully potter off, "Follow me."

The walk wasn't long, and you soon found yourself inside the laboratory next to the room where you woke up earlier. Hopping on a bar stool, Chopper stretched up to grab a stack of papers and a flask with your blood inside from a shelf. You drew up a chair from the other side of the room and sat opposite him as he leafed through the papers.

"Here it is!" Chopper held up a sheet triumphantly.

"So what is it? C'mon, the tension is killing me!"

He frowned, holding up a hoof, "You mentioned that you were born with this tattoo, correct?"

Raising an eyebrow, you glanced at the black lines, "Well, yeah. I've had this thing on my back ever since I could remember."

"Well Doctorine found that suspicious, so we decided to inspect that first. It is quite strange to be born with non natural elements, and even more curious was you said you could, what's the word you used, 'reform it'?"

Tiny needles pricked all over your body just remembering how that had felt in Loguetown. Wincing, you rubbed your left arm instinctively

Chopper tilted his head, producing a pencil from a band on his hat and scribbling something on a small notebook, "I'll take that as a yes. Therefore with all this in mind, we decided to investigate the tattoo." He gestured at you absentmindedly with the pencil, "Did you notice the dressing on your back?"

Your hands instantly grappled round to your back until they hit a fabric lump secured by surgical tape. You froze.

"Well that was from where we scraped-and in this scenario I mean  _scraped_ , the scalpel barely touched the skin-you lightly with a scalpel. Keep in mind that this was merely a scalpel, no extra chemicals." Glancing up from his notebook, Chopper calmly met your incredulous gaze, "And you almost died of blood loss."

"Hang on, what?!" Eyes widening, you leant forwards hurriedly, "I heal small cuts within minutes and I almost bled out from just a scratch?"

He nodded, "That healing ability is what saved your life. If you had a regenerative system like the everyday human, you would have died in about…" He scribbled down a quick calculation, "Ten minutes."

You gaped.

Chopper continued on impassively, "From this, I deduced that what you thought was a tattoo, was in reality a major blood vessel. Therefore, whenever you 'reform' this 'tattoo'," he gazed at you in genuine curiosity, "you are performing a previously unobtainable act of completely re-shifting your internal structure. It's so cool!"

"H-hang on just a sec," You waved your arms frantically, "What are you trying to say here?"

" _...That you are subconsciously in control of every molecule of your body…"_

You glanced down at your shoulder, ' _You sound surprised?'_

" _I am...I...never knew…"_

"So, lemme get this straight," Pinching the bridge of your nose, you exhaled sharply, "I can...control my entire body."

Sighing, Chopper reached for the flask, "Incorrect. From what I investigated from the blood sample we got, instead of haemoglobin you have an unidentified black substitute." Swirling the flask, he watched the contents spin around the inside of the glass, "Most likely from your ancient weapon heritage. This substitute is what makes your blood black, and is probably what allows you to re-organise your bodily tissues."

"Tissues?"

"What makes up your organs and muscles, so your brain, ligaments, skin and so on. Your bones and skeletal structure would therefore not be affected, so to have some sort of framework I guess."

"Right…" Your brain was swimming with the influx of information. You sat bolt upright abruptly as something popped into your head, "But what about Mello? What does this mean for him?"

" _I would like to know that as well."_

Chopper placed the pencil back in his hat, "We haven't run any tests on him yet. As I'm sure you can understand, Doctorine and I have had more pressing matters to attend to."

Guilt washed over you as you slumped back into your regular sitting position, "Right...sorry. Just got a bit excited there." You smiled softly, "Thanks for telling me though, it was really useful. It's awesome you managed to get so much in such a short time."

"Hahaha!" Chopper stood on the stool, swinging his hips back and forth in a strange dance, "It was nothing! It's not like I'm pleased or anything, you bastard! Hahaha! Jerk!"

Turning away, you held a hand over your mouth to hide the oncoming giggle fit.

" _He appears to have a problem with taking compliments…"_

' _...no duh!'_

Suddenly Chopper froze mid hip wiggle, nose twitching.

You frowned, recognising the horror in his eyes, "What is it?"

"T-this scent..." He slowly turned to meet your gaze, "It's Wapol!"

Cursing under your breath, you scooped the reindeer into your arms and sprinted out of the room.

"No, let me! WALK POINT!" Leaping out of your grasp, Chopper transformed into his four-legged form. Jumping onto his back, the two of you dashed off into the castle, way faster than you could have ran.

"DOCTORINE! DOCTORINE!"

Bursting through the doorway where Nami, Sanji and Doctor Kureha still were, you dug your fingers into Chopper's fur, "Bad news people!"

"Doctorine! Come quick!" Chopper's gaze darkened under his hat, "Wapol has returned!"

Nami and Sanji blinked obliviously. Quite understandable, considering that they had no idea how bad this really was.

But surprisingly, the only reaction Kureha gave was a knowing smile, "I see." Getting to her feet, she grinned, and not for the first time you saw why she was called our king, "Why don't we give our dear old king the welcome he deserves, eh Chopper? Heeheeheehee!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, sorry for the late update. I'm about to go into an exam period for about a month, so I have no idea whether I will be able to update this as often as I want. If you have any questions, please comment. I love hearing what you think. I'm not kidding when I say it makes my day every time a new comment is posted!


	21. I think Wapol needs a new dentist...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, there would definitely be fewer fans. :(

"Maaaaaahahahahaha! Behold, everything is exactly as I left it!" Wapol outstretched his arms, metal lips curling upwards to form a triumphant smile. Gazing upon the snowy building, his eyes glinted, "This is MY castle. The Drum Kingdom will now be revived! Maaaaaahahahahaha!"

Standing in the shadows beside you, Kureha clicked her tongue. Chopper growled, still in walk point. Sanji bit his cigarette. The cook had insisted on coming, despite Chopper and Kureha's warnings about his injuries.

The two men either side of the bastard flinched as they fixed their eyes at a point at the top. You recognised the confused jester from your previous encounter, but the other man was new, as well as the white furry hippo thing.

" _A White Walkie. An animal that has adapted, if not overadapted, to life in snowy alpine regions."_

_'Neat.'_

"Please wait, King Wapol!" The jester shakily pointed upwards, "Look on top of the castle tower…!"

Following the finger, Wapol gritted his teeth, "What's that ugly flag doing up there? What happened to the Drum Kingdom flag!?"

"You two, stay here," Kureha mumbled as both she and Chopper stepped out of the doorway and into the light. Cackling, she flicked a pair of glasses down from her forehead, "That old thing? I burned it."

Sanji crossed his arms, "Shouldn't we go help them? If it comes down to a fight, they'll be quickly overwhelmed."

"This is their old king after all. They of all people deserve to deal with that selfish idiot." Slumping back against the wall, you grinned at him, "And you'd be surprised. Chopper is more capable than you give him credit."

The round king grimaced, pointing an accusatory finger "There you are, Doctor Kureha! The last survivor of my great Doctor Hunt."

' _Doctor Hunt?'_  You raised an eyebrow at Sanji. He shrugged, "It's your fault for walking out on the explanation."

"That's fair."

"This castle isn't yours anymore." Kureha lowered her arm, "It's no place for a bunch of spoiled brats like you. Get out of this country! Drum Kingdom is no more!"

Wapol bristled, "...What?"

"WAIT!"

Flipping your head behind, your eyes widened, "Oh Kronos, not now Cap!"

"Luffy you idiot!"

The two of you weren't fast enough to grab the rubber boy as he sped past and out of the castle. Raising back his arm, Luffy glared at the round man, "I'm gonna kick his ass! GUM GUM PISTOL!"

His fist connected squarely with Wapol's chest, sending the large man high into the air.

You facepalmed, and from the sound of it Sanji did the same. Giggling defeatedly, you slid the hand down your face, "Well, guess we have no choice in the matter."

Straightening the collar on his jacket, Sanji groaned affectionately, "That fool never thinks things through."

"That's our captain for you. And we follow the idiot anyway..."

"Wouldn't have it anyother way."

Summoning Mello, you swung him over your shoulder as you and Sanji sauntered out to behind Luffy.

Much to your disappointment, Wapol had not fallen off the edge of the cliff. It was a close one, his two henchmen being the only thing that had saved him from an inevitable death.

"You guys really screwed us over last time." Luffy gritted his teeth, "It feels like you just keep getting in our way again and again."

You and Sanji exchanged confused looks.

A dark cloud over his face, Luffy clenched his fists, "I was taking care of injured people back then, so I had to run. But now," Grin widening, he leered at the three people glaring at him, "I don't have to hold back anymore~! Shishishi!"

"You fiend!" The man you didn't recognise shook out his fist. "How dare you approach the King of the Drum Kingdom, and commit such a henious, violent act!" He didn't look all that threatening with the large, fluffy balls on his hands.

"I think the word you're looking for is 'heinous'," Sanji smirked, "and you shouldn't use big words like that, he won't understand you."

"Yeah, who cares!?" Luffy grabbed his mouth, stretching his lips far out to the side as a ridiculous gesture, "You guys just piss me off!"

Something shifted behind you, "Hey, kid. You know them?"

"Yeah! He's a big-problem-mouth! A big-problem-mouth pirate." He stomped back and forth, "All he does is cause me problems! Eating my ship, chasing my friends, he's not gonna get away with it anymore!"

Sighing Sanji held up a finger, "Wait for it…"

Luffy blinked, before whipping his head back towards the recovering Wapol, "Did he just say he was a King!? I thought he was a pirate!"

"Wait for it..."

Ball-man scoffed, "You've finally realized your rudeness. King Wapol is the King of the Drum Kingdom. When first we met, he was only indulging in piracy temporarily, for his own reasons."

"Oi! It's cold out here!"

"There we go."

"Well what did you expect Cap, coming down without a jacket. Dummy!"

"It's minus 50! Big sis (y/n) can handle this, but you can't!"

Wapol growled, flipping his massive body to his feet, "Now...I'm angry. Straw-hat...I'm gonna eat you alive!"

"Uh," Sanji raised his arm apologetically, "could you wait a sec? Luffy just went inside to get his jacket."

"HE'S GOOOOOOONE?!"

Doubling over, you let the wave of giggles rush out, "Man I love this crew."

"(y/n)-chwan is so sexy when she giggles uncontrollably~!"

"No."

"Especially when she's glaring!"

"Oh dear Kronos please stop. Remind me to actually get you some flirting lessons."

"ANYTHING FOR YOU MADEMOISELLE!"

"...If you keep making goo goo eyes at me, I will slap you."

Kureha gaped at you, "We're in the middle of a national crisis, and you're flirting?"

"Oi!" You pouted, "How the hell am I flirting? This is hardly my fault!"

"(y/n)-chan is never at fault!"

"I warned you," Using Mello, you catapulted the infatuated chef into the air.

Kureha's eyes followed the path Sanji took until he collided with the ground, "I would appreciate it if you didn't harm my patients, but I thought you said a slap."

"Oh I did," you snickered, "but I never said what with."

She cackled as she kicked you over the back of the head.

Rubbing your new lump, you turned to see Chopper morph into his heavy point form.

Clenching his fists, tremors ran through his body, "This is Doctor's grave! I won't let you defile it!"

"Mahahahahaha!" Wapol sneered, "Grave? That stupid quack's? Mahahahahaha!"

The reindeer growled, "You...will not enter this castle...EVER!"

"Uuuuh, King Wapol," Jester frowned, "He's…"

Ball-man snapped his fingers, "That's right, he's the monster that was chasing after the idiot doctor that day!"

You flinched. Tightening your grip on Mello, you glared at the trio.

Chopper didn't react, "That flag is Doctor's conviction. I'll never let it be taken down! EVER!"

"Show no mercy!" Wapol waved forwards, "We're going into the castle! Leave none of them alive!"

Sanji sauntered next to you, "Hey, you gonna fight too Grandma?"

The throbbing lump he received was twice the size of yours.

"If you guys can't handle it, I'll come save you."

"Thanks a lot…"

" _I have to admit, what else did he expect."_

"King Wapol," Ball-man grinned savagely, raising his fist, "leave it to me! I'll dispense with these infidels at once!" He punched the air, and you gaped as a fluffy black ball got fired towards…

"DOCTORINE!" Chopper screamed.

A black leg intercepted the ball just before impact. Sanji scowled, "Hey, big man with the afro. Didn't your mother tell you it isn't right to strike a lady, especially a hot young one."

Kureha smirked, "I think you finally get it."

' _Something's not right…'_

Eyes widening, you turned your head towards Ball-man. Instead of being upset his attack didn't work, his smirk was just growing wider.

"It's stuck."

"Huh?" Sanji gulped, shaking his leg violently to attempt to dislodge the ball, "What the hell is with this afro!? Static electricity?"

"Precisely," Ball-man laughed, reaching up into his afro to produce another ball, "and there's many more where that came from. ELECTRIC MARIMO!"

Sanji frowned, whipping his head back and forth, "Wait that stupid swordsman is here? And what's this about being electric?"

Two more balls flew into his arm and side. He grimaced, flailing around "What the hell are these They're so freakin' GROSS!"

Chopper raised a hand, moving towards him, "I'll help you out!"

"Oh no you don't!" Standing in his path, you clambered on top of Mello to flick his nose, "You should know better Doc. If you help, those things are going to stick to both of you. Your fur is static central." You shook your head, "It's best just to wait until the static lessens."

"(y/n)-chan! How cruel!" Sanji panicked, his eyes focused on something behind you, "Crap! He's gonna burn the afros!"

Glancing at Chopper, the two of you nodded before sprinting off towards the two soldiers.

"Oi! Where the hell are you going!?"

"The Decoy Plan!" Chopper explained.

"D...decoy Plan...? I'M THE DECOY!?"

"Actually," you sniggered as Chopper veered off to the side, "I am!" With that, you sliced the arrow that fired from Jester's bow cleanly in two.

The two cronies scowled, "Why you…"

"Mellontas, EXTEND!"

Extending to the side, you swung the weapon in an arc, scooping the two men off to the side. Chopper dashed up behind them, arms ready to crush the quivering Jester.

"Move!" Wapol shoved his henchman to the side, his mouth extending larger.

"Oh Kronos, MELLONTAS-!"

" _Got it."_

The blunted blade wrapped around Chopper's torso and pulled him out of the way. Unfortunately, this left you directly in Wapol's biting range. Within seconds, all you saw was the inside of a grubby mouth with many cavity filled teeth.

You grimaced, "Eugh!" From the breeze you felt on your hands and legs, only your torso had actually been 'eaten'. Your hand holding Mello was still outside. Thinking for a moment as you failed to shove yourself out of Wapol's mouth with only one hand while he chewed you, all at once you realised that Mello was retacting himself to about the size of your fist.

" _Don't panic, Missy. I'm going to get you out of there."_

You sighed in relief, ' _Oh thank Kronos…'_

" _Do you trust me?"_

The smile dropped from your face. ' _Yeeeees…?'_

" _Good. Now bring me inside Wapol's mouth."_

Raising an eyebrow, you assessed your options, ' _Well, I guess whatever you're planning is better than nothing. What the hell.'_  Bringing in your hand containing the now tiny weapon was easy, Wapol just slurped it inside. ' _I hope this works.'_

" _Oh ye of little faith."_ As soon as the scythe was inside, he extended against the two metal jaws surrounding you, forcing them wide open.

The good news was now you were out of that disgusting place and had no  _instant_ fear of being digested. The bad news was now you were dangling in mid air on a thin pole above Wapol's massive gaping mouth, with a  _potential_ fear of being digested. Also everything above your hips were covered in something sticky you did not want to think about. You shrugged, "Hey I'll take it."

"Huh? (y/n)? What're you doing over there?" A figure shuffled out of the castle picking his nose.

You giggled, "Oh hey, Cap. Just trying not to be eaten, y'know."

He stopped dead, "That bastard's still alive?" His fists clenched, "I thought I warned you about hurting my nakama."

Wapol couldn't really respond to that as his mouth was being propped open by...well, you, but the grunting noises he made sounded angry.

A familiar arm snaked its way around your waist. You giggled down at the round man, "Well I would say it's been fun, but it really hasn't. Bye bye now!" Retracting Mello, you shot out of his mouth just as the jaws snapped shut. You barreled into Luffy, knocking him flat. "That was...far too close than I'd like to admit. Thanks Cap!"

A small brown blob came up to you, "Are you alright?"

"Hahaha! Juuust fine," you grinned as you watched the world spin around you, "Juuuuust a bit light headed is all~"

"She was in there for a while, it could be that she's a bit oxygen deprived," The Copper-blob wiped a bit of the sticky stuff off your arm, "But this also isn't regular saliva either…And I guess your body has not fully recovered the excessive blood that you lost earlier"

"Nah~! I'm fiiiine~!"

Suddenly everything went black

" _The hell you're fine. Allow me."_

Something slammed into the side of your head. You blinked wildly, "Woah I was out of it. Oh hey, there's only one of everything now. That's nice. Thanks Mello...Whatever you did..."

Luffy stood up, glaring at Wapol, "You tried to eat my nakama!"

The large man laughed, "It is her fate to end up inside my stomach! She should be honoured I decided to devour her first!"

"You...tried to eat...my nakama!" Luffy slammed his fist forwards, knocking Wapol into his furry hippo.

" _It's a White-"_

Sadly, only the White Walkie got sent off the mountain, but you were more than satisfied by the trail of blood dripping from the dictator's nose.

Shakily, you got to your feet, "Right, now let's pummel him."

A swift bony poke to the tiny bandage on your back sent you crumbling to your knees, "You are fighting no one, girl."

Collapsing face first into the snow, you groaned, "But I wanna fiiiiight! I want to help you guys!"

"Such a child," Kureha sighed, and you heard a hand drag down her face, "and I guess you're going to keep whining if I send you inside to rest."

You nodded in the snow.

She chuckled, "Normally, I would use my Doctor Stop, but I guess you'll be fine if you refrain from fighting..." A click of fingers, "Could you by any chance check up on that idiot captain. If this overweight buffoon is up here, that must mean that he was defeated."

"Dalton!" You turned over and sat bolt upright, slapping your forehead, "Oh yeah! I was going to help him defend against Wapol when I got scooped up by you guys. Can't believe I forgot!" Jumping to your feet, you started to run towards the edge of the mountain, waving behind you, "Cap, Sanji, Chopper. Give 'em hell for me."

Smiling softly, Chopper nodded.

Luffy gave a curt nod, eyes fixed on Wapol.

"Oh course we will (y/n)-chan." Sanji gnawed on his cigarette, "I can't believe my negligence almost got (y/n)-chan eaten...EATEN...How disgraceful...She is far too fine a dish to be consumed by such a beast…"

A bead of sweat dropped down your forehead. "Right…Anyhow." Holding Mello out in front of you, you giggled, "I've been wanting to do this as long as I've been up here."

" _Although I do not wish to strain your injuries, this is too much enjoyment to pass up. LET'S DO IT!"_

"Mellontas, CANNON!"

And suddenly the figures on the mountain shrunk beneath you as you got fired into the air and off the ledge into free fall. Stretching your arms out to the side, you laughed as the wind rushed past your face, "YAHOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Thump!

"Ow ow ow ow oooooow!" Your leg twitched as you righted yourself to a sitting position in the wreckage, "Landings...still need a bit of work…I didn't hurt anyone else did I?"

"MY CABBAGES!"

Wincing, you inched away from the distraught salesman, "I uuuh...need to go and find my friends…so if you'd just excuse me..." You sprinted off in a random direction into town, "Who the hell sells cabbages on a winter island anyway? Kronos I hope I find the others fast, but I have NO CLUE WHERE I AM!"

" _Agreed, we...should have thought this through..."_

You snickered, "Worth it though?"

" _Oh most definitely."_

"I think we should go up the mountain after all, Mr Usopp, Mr Bushido."

Skidding to a halt, you whipped your head around to find the source of Vivi's voice.

"We can't just sit here! Not knowing what happened to Mr Luffy and the others after that huge avalanche is worrying me! And we don't know where Miss (y/n) even is!"

"I'm right here, where are you guys," You growled as you tried to locate your friends, "But like hell are we going up the mountain! I just came down from there!"

" _If you extend me now to do a quick search, I don't think I can be used for a while. We've lost too much blood."_

Freezing for a moment, you hurriedly tapped your chin. "I'm gonna recall you for now. We may need you in an emergency."

" _An excellent choice,"_ the scythe hummed as the black lines reappeared onto your skin.

"Miss Nami has a terrible fever...Miss (y/n) even said that… a-and even she's missing…"

Since you were too focused on the conversation, your foot slipped up on a sheet of ice, and you went elegantly careening into a stack of crates. Dusting debris off your body, you glanced up to see a familiar head of green hair lean down above you. You frowned as you clambered on top of the highest undamaged crate, "What's that look of shock for, Mop-boy? You guys were wondering where I was, right? Well here I am. All according to my devious plan."

Vivi, Usopp and even Zoro gaped at you. Sitting cross legged, you eyed them warily, "You don't need to worry about the others by the way, I've seen them and they're perfectly fine."

They blinked.

You tilted your head, "Is something wrong?"

Zoro was the first to react, grabbing your neck and shaking you back and forth violently, "Are you an idiot, Missy? Just casually going off with a complete stranger, and not checking it through with us? Do you have any idea how annoying it has been to hear these two whine about how worried they were about you? And how the hell are you so sticky?"

"Mop-boy, I can't breathe!"

"Hold up," Usopp held up a hand, gesturing at Zoro, "You...never said anything about her  _willingly_  going with a stranger. Just that (y/n) was a complete idiot and she had been kidnapped."

You raised a finger, "I went...doctor...Nami treated…Mop-boylemmegocan'tbreathe."

He loosened his grasp and you rocked forwards gasping for air. Feeling lasers bore into you, you raised your head to gulp at the sight of Vivi glaring at you.

She crossed her arms, "You. Explain everything. Now."

* * *

"I see," Vivi sighed, "Miss Nami's alright. That's such a relief. I was so worried."

Usopp frowned, "You worry too much Vivi. Earlier, you were worrying about (y/n) and Nami, and on top of that worrying about Dalton  _and_  Alabasta too? You need to calm down, so you don't shoulder too much of a burden. Well now you know that your worrying was all for nothing. (y/n) is fine," he glared at Zoro, "and Nami is being taken care of as we speak. It's all fine, I have faith that she will make a perfect recovery."

"Oh," She glanced down, "I see, thank you…"

"Nah, you're just afraid of climbing the mountain," Zoro poked the sniper repetitively in the forehead.

"Well can you blame me?! (y/n) said that Wapol's up there! Not to mention there's Abominable Snowmen and Bear-Rabbits!"

"Then you should have just said that in the first place!"

Drumming your fingers on your face, you grimaced, "The Abominable Snowman? More like the Adorable Snowman, Chopper wouldn't hurt a fly. Heck, if he accidentally smacked it he'd give it first aid treatment."

"D-Dalton!"

"Please wait! You shouldn't go outside!"

The door of the building Vivi leant on creaked open.

Usopp's eyes sparkled, and he ran around the building, "Dalton! You're alright!"

"Dalton," Vivi quickly followed after him.

Zoro scratched his head, "Will somebody just tell me who this guy is?"

Hopping off the crates, you frowned, "When Wapol was king here, Dalton was the only decent member of his court."

"Hang on, that Wapol guy was a king?"

As you rounded the circular house, you gaped. Dalton was strong, you knew that much...so it was horrifying to see the great man covered with bandages and propping himself up with his spade.

He waved the circle of civilians around him away, "Let me by. I will not...allow Wapol to enter the castle...Never again!"

Walking up to him, you bowed deeply, "I am so sorry for disappearing like that."

He blinked at you groggily, "(y/n)..."

"You needed my help," Straightening up, you scratched the back of your neck apologetically, "but I was worried about the lives of my crewmates, and I'm afraid for me at least, they come first. I'm afraid it's a bit of an excuse, and I feel really guilty, but if I had to make the choice again I would do it in a heartbeat. But!" You held out a hand as Dalton started to protest, "You don't need to worry about letting Wapol into the castle." You grinned, "Cap, Sanji and the person who's about to be our new nakama have got that covered!"

He collapsed, raising an eyebrow in disbelief, "But why...why are you helping us."

Giggling, you tilted your head, "You really need to ask? Even if your country wasn't in the state it's it, I think we'd still be willing to fight Wapol. He tried to eat two of our crewmates after all." Smirking, you counted off on your fingers, "Our ship and myself. So although that bastard is the most annoying thing on the seas, he's made the massive mistake of making it personal!" You punched your hand, "Like hell we'd not take the opportunity to beat him up!"

Behind you, Zoro recoiled, "You were...almost eaten? So you were sticky because-" He gagged.

Dalton smiled, "I see. So would you mind letting an old man like myself fight alongside you?"

You giggled, "Can't see why not."

"M-miss (y/n)!" Gasping, Vivi bought her hands to her face, "You, you can't possible mean you're going back to the castle, and bringing Mr Dalton too!"

"In both of your conditions, that's way too reckless!" Usopp shook his head in disbelief, "You'd never make it up there."

"If I do not fight now, then when will I?" Eyes turning bloodshot, Dalton cried out, "If I allow Wapol to regain power, this country will be ruined for all eternity!"

A blue jacketed companion spluttered, "But, you just can't fight in the state you're in!"

"No matter what filthy means may be necessary…" Grunting with the effort, Dalton pushed himself to his feet, "I'm going to end this right now!" Using his spade as a crutch, he took a couple of shuffles forward.

Your eyes widened as Usopp calmly moved to step in front of him. Turning round, and not caring that the man was over twice his size, the sniper crouched down on the snow, "Get on. I'll carry you up to the castle."

Dalton froze.

"No time to hesitate!" Usopp glanced determinedly over his shoulder, "I won't let your determination go to waste!"

Vivi clasped her chest, "Mr Usopp"

You, on the other hand, facepalmed, "Mop-boy…"

Zoro nodded, cracking his knuckles as he stepped forwards. Without breaking a sweat, he lifted the large man onto a shoulder, much to the amazement of everyone watching, "Didn't you listen to Missy? This is our fight too." He frowned at Dalton's incredulous face, "We'll just take you up the mountain. Don't care what you do from there."

"Zoro!" Usopp shot to his feet, red faced, "I was trying to sound cool!" Storming up to him, he aimed multiple kicks towards the impassive swordsman, "Jerk! Jerk! You jerk!"

"Huh, what's that Usopp? It's not like you can carry him."

"Oh you je-OW! JUST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU MADE OF? IRON?"

"Heh, the training must be paying off."

Usopp pouted, shoving his hands into his pockets and sculking off towards the castle, "Right, this calls for my full power to be unleashed! I was saving it to beat up Wapol, y'know."

"Yeah. I know you were."

"OH REALLY?! FULL POWER!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Vivi and you exchanged a tired grin before sprinting off after them. She chuckled, "They really can be foolish sometimes."

"Yeah, but everyone can be dumb sometimes." You grinned as you caught up to them, "But besides, life's just not fun if we don't choose to be complete idiots once in a while."

Blinking for a moment, she turned forwards, smiling softly, "I guess..."

Catching up to the others, you slowed down to a jog and giggled, "Now let's go find that hippo freak, you guys and give him a beating he won't ever forget!"

"Yeah!"

"...I can't believe that you got covered with saliva"

Slap!

"The hell, Missy?!"

"Don't even think about it."


	22. And so the cherry blossoms fell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. I do however own Missy and Mello, so I guess that's something.

You drummed your fingers against your leg as the rickety gondola made its way up the rope. Glancing down, you recognised the same scenery that you saw from Kureha's sleigh. You sighed. That felt like so long ago.

Next to you, Zoro groaned, hands moving to behind his head, "This is taking too long."

"Too right." Usopp stood proudly before in front of him, "The whole thing will be done before we get up there. I won't have a change to show off my ultimate move."

"Eh?" You sniggered into your hand, "Then why do you look so relieved?"

Instead of yelling indignantly in your face like you had expected, the sniper deflated and collapsed by your untaken side, "Yeah, you're right. As always."

You exchanged a pleading glance with Zoro. Dealing with emotional baggage wasn't your thing. Noticing the pleading look on your face, he sneered and shuffled as far away as he could in the small space.

You pouted, ' _Well then. No booze for_ you  _later.'_

Sighing in defeat, you sat upright and turned your head towards Usopp, "So what's up? Is it..." You gulped, "the idea of...well...y'know..."

He hung his head, not saying a word as his eyes bored holes into the floor.

"I see." Facing forwards, sweat poured down your face as you tried to figure out what to say.

' _Help me out here.'_

Mello didn't answer.

Grimacing, you subtly pinched your shoulder, ' _Traitor!'_

"I...don't know how you do it, (y/n)..." Usopp clenched his fists, "You... Luffy... Zoro...Sanji...and even Nami...You just..." He waved a hand in the air trying to get the right words, "do it. You guys go off fighting with great big smiles on your faces, ready to take on the world." Lowering his arm, he slumped forwards.

"But then there's me. It's my greatest dream to be a brave warrior of the seas that my dad can be proud of, but I...can't go out and fight like you guys. I'm not brave. I'm not noble. I'm just someone who lies, to everyone...and to myself." His knuckles turned white, "I couldn't even carry Dalton, proud determined Dalton, up the mountain, Zoro had to do that for me. I don't deserve to go to Elbaf," Leaning forwards, Usopp curled into a ball, muffling his words, "or on this crew."

Exhaling sharply through your nose, you placed a tentative hand on his back, "Well, sorry to ruin your argument, but you're wrong."

"Huh?" Raising his head out of his knees, he stared at you quizzically.

"Well...I've never really thought of myself as brave." Turning away, you scratched your neck, "If I was brave...uuh...then I would have escaped from the world government way sooner than I did. I only ran away when I did...because someone from the outside offered to help me." You mimicked Usopp and curled yourself into a ball, "I wouldn't have even dared to consider it as an option otherwise." Seeing his surprised expression, you smiled, "I guess it really depends on your definition of bravery, but to me, I think you're very brave, Usopp."

He gave a dry laugh, waving your comment away, "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"Please, you of all people should know that I suck at lying," You flicked his nose, "And since when do I of all people lie to make someone feel better? Take the compliment." Stretching your arms up, you sighed, "Defining what it is to be brave is hard, even Mello finds it tough, so I'm not really surprised you just associated it with fighting. Many people do after all."

"B-but, what else could it be?" Usopp gestured frantically at you, eyes wide, "Fighting people who are better and more experienced than you, you have to be brave to do that. And you've done that. I mean, come on, you're THE Missy Sai. Feared the world over, you've completely destroyed many war veterans!

Taking in a deep breath, you straightened your back, "Yeah I fought opponents that were way better than me. Yeah they were way older than me, way more experienced, and I completely pulverised them. But when I saw them defeated in front of me, I didn't feel brave. If anything I felt weaker."

"Why?"

"Well, I only fought so hard to begin with because I was afraid. Afraid of what might happen to me when I loose."

He tapped the side of his face, "But you still fight even now. I mean, you drank a barrel of what you knew was explosive. Even today, you almost got eaten. Eaten, (y/n)! And who would you be afraid of if apart from your enemy. Us?"

' _Well...kinda…'_ You gritted your teeth, "Look...I can't tell you why...but just trust me when I say that I really am not brave." You jabbed a thumb towards yourself, "To me, being brave is knowing and facing your fears. Doing what you're afraid to. Realising why you're afraid. That sorta thing." You grinned at him, "And that's exactly what you've done."

"Eh?" He pointed at himself, "Have I?"

"Well, yeah!" Shuffling back, you counted off one finger, "You're here for one thing. I don't know how or why you joined, but you've managed to hold your ground through all the crazy shit we've been through. That's brave."

Another finger, "You were afraid of me at first, and how the marines could come down on us like a ton of bricks just because I was on the crew, but still accepted me anyway." You smiled, "You have no idea what that meant to me at that time, even more so because it was obvious that you were terrified of me. Then later on, you defended me against Crocus. You overcame your own prejudices, which isn't easy to do. That's brave."

Rolling your eyes, you raised your third finger, "You put up with us. That's brave."

He laughed, "That doesn't really count."

"Oh really?" You raised an eyebrow, "Remember that time you almost 'accidentally' destroyed Sanji's kitchen when making your tabasco stars. Or when you gave Nami fake belly notes to pay off your debt."

"Point taken."

"Thank you," You flipped up a fourth finger, "The number of times you've gone and helped others, be it helping out strangers like Vivi or Apis or jumping in the sea after our idiot captain, even when you've been worried about more important things. That's brave."

You stuck out your thumb, "The lengths you're willing to go through to protect the Merry…"

"Well of course." He puffed out his chest, "That ship was given to us from my hometown! Kaya herself gave it to us!"

"Weeeell…" Smirking, you playfully elbowed his side, "So there's a girl, eh?"

This lead to a mixed reaction within you. To your utter delight, Usopp dissolved into a stuttering mess. But to your horror, he was not the only one.

" _Excuse me, is this a love scandal you mentioned?! Does Usopp have a sweetheart he is pining for in his hometown?! Are they going to reunite, or are they destined to become star-crossed lovers, each gazing longingly across the seas towards the other?!"_ Mello, the every serious and dependable scythe,  _squealed_  with delight, " _This sounds spicy!"_

' _Hello?! Spicy?!'_ Raising an eyebrow, you glanced towards your left shoulder in both shock and disgust, ' _Where did this all come from?!'_

" _I...well, let's just say I_ may  _have taken control of your body when you were asleep...and Nami has quite the...steamy collection…"_

Groaning, you pinched the bridge of your nose.

Usopp looked on worriedly, his previous embarrassment gone, "Is, uh, everything alright."

"Just Mello being...weirder than usual...a lot weirder..." You ran a hand down your face, "Anyhow, where were we. Oh yeah! The Merry. The number of times you of all people have gone and chewed out those three idiots for unnecessarily damaging something, and even protecting Merry from enemy fire... It's really impressive. That's brave."

"But I guess all those things are nothing compared with the bravest thing you've done," you sighed, scratching your head.

He took the bait, "And that is?"

Tilting your head, you smiled calmly, "You admitted you were afraid. Realising that you are afraid is one thing, but talking about why you are with others and making an effort to deal with it," Subconsciously, your fingers meshed together, "That's scarier than facing an enemy. A lot scarier. Take it from someone who never actually managed it, and probably never will." Glancing at Usopp's blank face, you laughed tiredly, "So lighten up. You'd think I'd just told you the Merry was going to die or something, not how awesome you are."

"Geez," Sighing, he placed a hand on his chin, "as much as you can tell me that, believing what you say is a different story. GAH! THIS SUCKS!" He stretched his hands up in the air in anguish, before they limply fell to his sides, "So what do I do? You're the one who can tell the future, you must be able to get me out of it."

You had started to shake your head before he even finished, "It's not really something that I can fix instantly for you. I can suggest stuff, sure, but you have to make an effort yourself."

"So what do you suggest then?"

Laying back with your hands behind your head, you smirked at him, "Well, what makes you happy?"

"Huh? What makes me happy?" A confused smile played at his lips as he scratched the side of his face, "Well, uh, taking care of the Merry, obviously."

"Obviously."

"And...thinking of new ideas for my slingshot ammunition…"

"So like...the tabasco star?"

He bounced upright, stars in his eyes, "I actually used that against that Mister Five guy on Little Garden! I was so cool then, it worked just like I planned! In fact, I have more ideas I've just been itching to develop, including something for Nami." Glancing at you out of the corner of his eyes, he tapped his chin hurriedly, "She was also worried about being the weakest as well, you see. So she asked me to develop something for her."

"Oh?" You raised an eyebrow, "I'm curious now, what is it?"

"Well, Nami is used to using a bo-staff so it's going to be a three part staff like the one she has already. And, what I thought would be really awesome is if…"

Your eyes glazed over slightly as Usopp chattered on about the intricacies of his new weapon, your focus instead on the little smile on his face worming its way into a massive grin.

"...so after those tests, I realised that rotten eggs would probably mess up the entire dynamic inside the staff, so I settled for a few basic tricks. Y'know, because enemies never see that sorta thing coming. It's how I beat the bomb dude after all. I think that's what Nami wanted anyway. I've even thought of an awesome name for it. It will be called:" He stretched his arm out in front of him dramatically, "The Usopp Tempest Frenzy!"

You made eye contact with Zoro across the car. He turned to the side, hiding his sniggers behind his hand. Beside him, Vivi's face went a beautiful shade of red as she bit her lip to contain her giggles. You weren't so discreet as you burst out laughing, slapping the floor as you doubled over, "Great name you have there! I'm sure Nami will looooooooove it!"

Giggling with you, Usopp rubbed his nose, "Of course! Hehe, that's why I chose it after all!"

"The Usopp Tempest Frenzy with inbuilt party tricks! The ultimate combat machine!"

He stiffened, "Yeah...I may need to check the plans with her beforehand now that I think about it…"

"Make sure to tell us when so we can watch."

You pouted amist your giggles, "That's not very nice now is it, Mop-boy."

"Look! There's someone on top of the castle!"

Getting to your feet, you turned towards the direction of the civillian's finger. You could vaguely see the figure on top of the highest tower, the snow was still falling as heavy as ever so it was hard to tell. But you knew it was Luffy. You just knew. With the two long shadows stretching off behind, him it was pretty obvious after all. You felt immense satisfaction when the elongated shadows collide with something and send it flying off into the distance.

Zoro chuckled in a corner, "So we've missed it all. Damn, we've been useless here."

Dalton collapsed onto his knees, "It's….over?"

"Yeah," Marching over in front of him, you placed a hand on you hip, "so you really don't need that that dynamite, eh."

All the Drum civilians gaped at you, then at Dalton.

"D-Dalton, you didn't...!"

"No way Dalton, we wouldn't have let you do that!"

"We need you!"

"What would we have done without you!"

Standing back to let Dalton get mobbed by his adoring fans, you felt a hand tap your back.

"(y/n)..." Usopp scratched his head "About earlier…"

"You'll be fine."

He blinked, "Huh?"

"Your expression when you talked about the Usopp...heh...Tempest..." You couldn't even finish the name without sniggering, "Nami's new weapon, you looked so happy and excited. Keep doing that, I mean if Nami is coming to you to make her a weapon, it shows that she trusts you to do a good job, right? If you focus on what you do well, as well as your Shave training, you'll be unstoppable. But if you want to get physically stronger, then I'm sure Mop-boy would help you out."

"Hehehe...I think that I'd rather fight Wapol…"

You rolled your eyes at Usopp's petrified expression, before glancing up towards the approaching mountain top.

' _That went a lot better than I was expecting...I thought he was going to call me out earlier for that obvious change in focus.'_

" _It's perfectly understandable for you to want to keep somethings to yourself. Especially that sort of-"_

' _Mello…'_ Narrowing your eyes, you quickly leapt onto the inbuilt platform as soon as it was in range, wanting to get a bit of space, and hopefully a rest, before the chaos you just knew was brewing.

Mello sighed, " _At least being afraid for your comrades is better than-"_

Humming noncommittally, you stormed off.

* * *

"I can't hear him anymore…Looks like he's finally left..."

Blinking open an eye, instead of seeing Chopper's small form all you could see was a layer of whites and greys. You frowned, "Great, not again."

"GYAAA!"

Sitting up dislodged the layer of snow over your face. Yawning, you stretched your arms over your head, "That was a goooood nap!"

"B-b-big Sis (y/n)?!" Pointing a hoof towards you, Chopper gaped, "W-what are you doing up here? And how are you not dying of hypothermia?!"

"As I said," you mumbled, registering the moonlight illuminating the castle roof around you, "I was having a nap. And this place is the only spot I could find where the sound of Cap chasing you around the castle wasn't deafening." You scratched your head in embarrassment, "And I've been buried in snow before, just wasn't expecting it this time..."

"OI! REINDEEEEEER! LET'S BE PIRATES TOGETHEEEEER~!"

"No way…" Sighing deeply, the doctor in training seated himself on the roof next to you, "He's still looking for me...Can you tell him to stop."

Looking down at your idiot Captain as he ran around like a headless chicken, you shook your head, "It wouldn't be Luffy if I could."

"REINDEER! COME ON OOOOUUUT! OH REINDEEEEEEEER~!"

"You don't want to come with us?"

He gulped, voice trembling, "It's not that I don't want to…"

"Ah, now I see." Getting to your feet, you offered out your hand to him, "Do you want to come tell the others then." You grinned, "I'm pretty certain they'll understand if you tell them just what you think."

Chopper's mouth tightened into a fine line. Nodding briskly, he stood and took your hand.

"Right then, you may wanna hang on!" Pulling the squiming reindeer under one arm, you swung yourself off the rooftop and quickly made your way down to the ground, swinging from hand-hold to hand-hold like a monkey.

Hearing the loud thud you made as you finally landed in the snow and let Chopper scamper to his feet, Luffy whipped his head around. "Awesome! You managed to catch him!" His grin widened, "Oi! Reindeer! Let's be pirates together! Huh?!"

Patting Chopper's back one last time for good measure, you stepped forward to join your crew. Zoro raised an eyebrow as you walked past him towards where the girls were struggling with Sanji's 'treated' body. You just smiled, leaning Sanji's weight across your shoulders as you turned towards Chopper.

"I can't." Glancing down, he clenched his...hooves? You tilted your head to the side, ' _How exactly does that work? Oh well.'_

"No it's not! It's fun!"

Usopp glared at your idiot captain, "You haven't even heard why yet!"

"I mean…I mean I'm a reindeer!" Chopper glanced down at his hooves with slitted eyes, "With antlers, and hooves, and...AND A BLUE NOSE!" Straightening his shoulders, he raised his head, "I want to be a pirate, but…" He gritted his teeth, "I can't be a human's friend y'know! I'm a monster! You may have accepted Big Sis (y/n), but someone like me  _can't_  be your crew mate, so…so I'm here…" Calming himself down, he forced a smile onto his face, "I'm here to say thanks. Thank you for the invitation. I'll stay here, but...if you ever feel like it, come back someday and-"

"SHUT UP!" Stretching his arms into the air, Luffy grinned, "LET'S GOOOOO!"

"Since when is 'Shut up' an invitation?" Zoro scowled.

Dissolving into a puddle of tears, Chopper sunk to his knees and sobbed. You smiled, "I told you he'd understand!"

* * *

"What?" Zoro's eyes narrowed cautiously, "Something's going on in the castle."

Nami crossed her arms, "Really, how uncivilized. Can't they keep quiet on a night where two people part ways."

Drumming your fingers on your leg, you sighed as a series of high pitched male screams filled the night. Chopper had only left to see Kureha a few moments ago, but you were starting to get just a little bit worried.

Zoro blinked, "Wait, is that him-HUH?!"

"What is going on?" Nami squinted through the snow, before openly gaping, "She's chasing him!"

"Oi!" Usopp and Luffy emerged from the underground passage, "The ropeway's all ready to-"

You grinned, "No time you guys!"

Chopper sprinted towards you in his four-legged form as if the devil herself was after him, "EVERYONE GET IN THE SLEIGH! WE'RE GOING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAT….!?"

You blinked at them as you shrugged Sanji's limp body unceremoniously over a shoulder, "Well come on then, unless you want to be left alone with that."

Screaming like a banshee, Kureha chucked a mace-like flail towards the sleigh.

Immediately everyone scrambled and somehow managed to get into the vehicle as it hurtled past. Chopper was going so fast down the ropeway that Usopp and Vivi needed to grab onto you and Luffy to keep you both from soaring off into the distance. They almost flew off themselves. The ride was short and sweet, and before you knew it the scenery around you was snow and pine trees once more.

Luffy giggled as Zoro finally pitched in and pulled him into the sleigh, "That felt great! Let's do it again!"

Nami scowled, "Idiot, we're leaving!"

"I...thought I was gonna die!"

"You could have helped us out earlier, Mister Bushido."

"Mister Bushido! Hey! That really suits you, Mop-boy!"

"Geh...I should have just let you fly off…"

"It's not my fault I weigh-"

"Huh, where the hell am I?"

"Oh, Mister Sanji, are you finally awake?"

His answer was drowned by the deafening sound of multiple cannons firing one after the other.

"UAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SHE'S FIRING AT US NOW!"

"Oh come on, she's too far away. You know that, Mister 'Oh I am the best sniper and probably should have been captain'."

"Really (y/n)?  _Really_?"

"Yeah, I'm the captain!"

Suddenly and silently, everything around you became bathed in a soft pink glow.

Grinning as you glanced behind, you leant over and tapped the reindeer's back, "Chopper. I think you'll want to see this."

"What are yo-" His mouth hung open as he turned his head. Disconnecting himself from the sleigh, he transformed into Brain Point and quickly scurried towards the sight of the main castle enshrouded in luminescent pink petal-like snow. This combined with the sleek, white, cylindrical mountain lead to something out of one of those fairy tales Mello always told you about.

"Awesome…" Luffy breathed.

You could only nod as you stared transfixed at the amazing cherry tree as it bloomed in the snow.

"Hic...Doctor…!" Chopper's shoulders shook as he hunched over, "Doctorine…!" Rubbing his eyes, he threw his head back and bawled for the second time that night. His wails that rang around the cherry blossom Drum Rockies weren't all sad. ' _Quite the opposite actually,'_  you smiled softly, ' _He's free now.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people, I'm still alive! Only just, because physics and maths exams are soul destroying! Whoop!
> 
> Anyhow, between revision, I've been thinking about what I asked you guys earlier, and have come to a conclusion. Missy is going to remain a reader fic, and I'm going to focus more on the family and friendship between the Straw-hats than the romance. (Because as I've been writing I realised Zoro has the romantic awareness of a...well...marimo. Or a dead slug, that works too.) That isn't to say that I'm going to just forget any ideas or romance, I still might include some romance later on if you guys want it, and it works with what I've built up with their relationship with Missy, and the plot.
> 
> As another heads up, some of you may have noticed that the first chapter 'The Gold Roger' has vanished. This is intentional. When I started writing this, it was something I wanted to start sooner rather than later, and if I'm honest I hadn't really thought through what I wanted Missy to be like. So I did a bit of editing, and merged the first two chapters together to create a better base for Missy to build off. The essential elements are still there, it's just a few tweaks. I'm aiming to rewrite the other chapters at some point, but yeah I don't really have the time right now because exams. :(
> 
> Thank you so much for reading Missy! You're all awesome for sticking with it, and I love you all!


	23. Mysterious Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, why would I write a fanfic about it?

"This is so cool!" Chopper's eyes glistened as he sat by the figure head, drum island now far behind, "The ocean is huge!"

Luffy giggled, "Course it is! Having adventures on a huge ocean is what being a pirate's all about!"

Nami grinned, "I guess that we didn't really need to worry about him fitting in."

"I'm pretty certain it's just going to be us, considering how much partying he did last night," you huffed, crossing your arms, "You have no idea how stressful it was making sure that he didn't drink any alcohol. Especially when idiotic swordsmen are trying to get him drunk!"

Zoro scowled, "He's a pirate. What sorta pirate doesn't enjoy their booze?"

"He's underage. He can't drink!" You glared at him. "Chopper looks up to me as his older sister-"

"Which is a really stupid idea by the way. Also," He raised his finger declaratively, "it's good life experience. I first got drunk when I was-"

Thump!

Vivi smiled peacefully down at Zoro's twitching form as she dusted off her hands.

You blinked.

She beamed, "I'm tired, worried out of my mind for my people, physically exhausted from your training regime and I am this close," A tiny gap remained between her fingers, "to getting a migraine. Not to mention Mister Bushido's pig headed attitude was grating to say the least. Besides, I've been meaning to pay him back for a while for letting Carue follow him into that river." Her face fell at your surprised expression, "Oh I'm sorry, did you want to hit him?"

You waved your hand, "Nah, that was satisfying enough…"

' _Remind me not to piss her off on a bad day…'_

" _I'll do everything within our power to make sure that does NOT happen…"_

The recently thawed out duck hammered his beak at Zoro's head, before glancing up as a shadow fell across the Merry.

"Huh, what's that!"

Raising a hand to block out the glare, you shrugged, "Oh that's just a large gull. No worries."

"Large my ass!" Nami cried, shaking you viciously, "It's half the size of Merry-"

"Huh, that's smaller than I thought. Neat."

"-and heading straight for us!"

Deadpanning, you pointed at the sight of Luffy screaming for Sanji to cook up the immobilised bird.

"I don't know why I bother sometimes," she growled as she stormed off towards the others. Clapping her hands, she jerked a thumb over her shoulder, "You guys! The ship's going to land at Alabasta any minute now. I know (y/n) called off training, but we don't have time to be playing around! Come on!"

"Y-yes ma'am!"

Vivi chuckled weakly, "She really can pull her weight when she wants to."

"Well, so can you." Zoro groaned as he sat up, "Did Nami give you lessons or something?"

"Uh, excuse me?" Chopper tapped Vivi's leg quizzically, "What's Alabasta? I thought it was a rock..."

She giggled, "No that's 'Alabaster', silly."

"Ah," Chopper rubbed his hooves together.

"Alabasta is a country Vivi's father rules." Nami grinned as she twirled her new weapon experimentally around her finger.

"This evil guy called Crocodile is trying to take it over," Usopp chipped in as he sat down on the steps just behind the doctor. He glanced up at Nami, "How the Clima-Tact holding up for you?"

She shrugged, "Not too sure yet. I'll need a proper fight to test it out."

"Uh, excuse me, but why is a crocodile trying to take over a country?"

"Whoo boy." Squeezing the bridge of your nose, you exhaled sharply, "This is going to take a while…"

* * *

Tapping his foot hurriedly, Sanji took the cigarette out of his mouth, "Tell me what you know."

Luffy turned his face away, sweat dripping down his face.

"Hey." The cook snatched his cheek, "What's with you turning your face away? Look at me dammit!"

You giggled, rolling backwards to recline against the railing, "How in Kronos' name is Mop-boy sleeping through this? The stuff this crew gets up to is way funnier than any transponder sitcom."

" _Oh indubitably! The comedic timing is immaculate! You'd think this was scripted."_

Snapping out of his grasp, Luffy pouted and waved his hand from side to side, eyes focusing on anything  _but_ Sanji, "No, no. I reeeally don't know what you're talking about."

" _And that expression is so trustworthy."_

"I mean, c'mon." You cocked an eyebrow as you glanced to your left side, "At least we know when he's lying."

Sanji growled, "Okay then, I'll ask you directly. How is it that the rations I prepared to last the nine of us until we reached Alabasta suddenly disappeared in the middle of the night? Including all the meat that (y/n)-chwan kindly prepared from that gull yesterday?" He growled, pinching the rubber boy's cheeks "Don't give me that attitude! You'd be terrible at poker!"

Luffy scowled.

" _Actually, I may be able to be of assistance here."_

"Huh, really?" You shrugged, "Should we swap then."

" _That would be ideal. It's been a while since I've been willingly leant your body"_

You closed your eyes and as you exhaled you let Mello take control of your body, " _We still need to talk about Nami's books by the way…"_

He chuckled, opening and closing a fist experimentally, "Afterwards, Missy." Getting shakily to his feet, Mello ambled over towards the interrogation, "If I may, I should be able to add some insight here, Sanji."

"Oh, it's you you stupid scythe." Sanji's face, initially ecstatic to see you walk towards him, fell into a scowl, "What do you want."

' _He does realise I'm still here, and can hear him, right.'_

Mello crossed his arms, "I'll ignore your blatant rudeness for the present. What I wished to tell you is that I know perfectly well who consumed the food. I was awake the entire time after all."

Luffy gulped.

Sanji laughed mockingly, "Oh please, I already knew who the culprit is." He blinked slowly, gesturing at his mouth, "Uh Luffy, there's something around your mouth."

"Ah crap! Leftovers!"

"SO IT  _WAS_ YOU!"

The kick span your captain spinning across the deck and into the side of the women's cabin.

' _I should tell Flirty to remove the weights at some point…'_

"Not so fast, Mister cook," Mello wagged a finger, "Your conclusion is partially true. But rather, instead of a single culprit," Smirking, he shot a glance towards the three shaking individuals sitting on the ledge, "consider the possibility of multiple offenders."

Usopp gulped something down, his hands tightening around his fishing rod, "W-well then! We have to catch some fish for Sanji..."

"Qwa!"

"He says 'Sure thing.'" Chopper translated hurriedly.

' _I expected better from you, Chopper.'_

A vein tensed on Sanji's forehead, "Is that so…" he grinned darkly, before stepping behind the trio with an amicable tone, "Oh, is it going well?"

They flinched sharply, large exaggerated smiles covering half their faces.

"O-OF COURSE!"

Placing his hands either side of the three, he slammed their heads together before letting them collapse backwards onto the deck. "Geez, I can't take my eyes off you for a second." Spinning on his heel, he marched back towards Mello and placed a hand on his shoulder, "I appreciate the help, Mello. Now can (y/n)-chwan pleeeeeeease come back." He shivered, "It's quite disconcerting to be talking to a woman who sounds like a guy."

' _Still here...'_

"How disrespectful…" Mello huffed, but he begrudgingly made the switch.

Blinking open your eyes, you scratched the back of your head nervously, "I need to see if we can get you to talk without using my body."

" _That would be excellent, thank you. I would enjoy being able to speak my mind to those idiots."_

"(y/n)-chwan!" A pair of arms got wrapped around your waist and a cheek rubbed against your hip, "It's so good to hear your dulcet tones once more~"

Shoving his head away, you glared at him, "Flirty, no touchy. We've talked about the flirting thing."

"But (y/n)-chwaaan..."

"I wonder if we can talk to Chopper about this," you mused aloud, stepping over to stand in front the dizzy reindeer, "He knows more about how we work than we do. Although we don't have to be a test subject anymore, I think he wanted to talk about running a couple of experiments if we were okay with it."

Mello sighed, " _It's the best lead we have currently."_

"(y/n)-chwan…"

"NO Flirty."

* * *

"I think it should be possible," Chopper closed the thick book and glanced up at you, "I would like to run a couple more tests first to confirm my hypothesis though. It's not like we have any evidence to base this off of."

You grinned, "Wait really?! You could do that?! That would be awesome, you're the best little brother ever Chopper!"

Waggling his hips, he giggled, "Saying stuff like that doesn't make me happy, you jerk! Asshole!"

In the middle of making a mental note to keep Zoro and Sanji as far from Chopper as you physically could, Vivi burst in through the galley door.

"Miss Nami, there's something wrong! Come quick!"

Nami glanced up from across the table and set down her quill, "Alright, what is it this time."

Following her outside, you stepped aside to let Chopper see the cloud of steam in front of the ship.

Hopping up onto the railing, his eyes sparkled, "Oooooh, what's that?"

"Nothing to worry about," Nami smiled down at him, "Just some steam from an underwater hotspot."

Luffy frowned from where he was fishing, "What's that?"

Nami beamed as she started to explain the intricacies of underwater volcanoes, both Chopper and Sanji hanging on her every word for completely different reasons.

You slowly inched your way back into the galley as she talked. The Merry was going to sail straight through the hotspot soon, and you didn't really want to reek of sulphur thank you very much. You would have grabbed Chopper, but your heart melted at the happy look on his face as he gazed up at Nami, and you decided to let it be. Sitting with your back to the wall, you could still hear everything that was being said outside.

"Catch anything yet?"

"Quaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"MISTER LUFFY! WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT USING CARUE AS BAIT!"

"But I ate the bait...Oh Sanji! I'm hungry. Go make me something."

"...There's nothing I can do about you, is there?" Refined footsteps drew closer, and the galley door half opened, "I'll search the galley top to bottom and see if there's anything left."

As soon as Sanji entered, you dashed forwards to shut the door. The sudden noise made him turn. His face lit up, "(y/n)-chan! I didn't know you were in here." Eyes flickering to the door, his grin widened, "Could it be you wanted some alone time wi-"

"Not a chance," you huffed as you collapsed back down, "Just give it time…I'd say in about three...two..."

"GWAAAAAAA! IT STINKS"

Raising an eyebrow, you gestured outside through the porthole as the muffled sounds of your crewmates coughing and choking filled the air.

Both of you dipped your heads in a moment of silence for your comrades.

Sanji shivered. Moving quickly into the kitchen area, he opened a cupboard and started to rifle through, "Can I get you anything mademoiselle?"

"Nah, I'm good thanks."

"You sure? It'd be my honour to whip up something sweet-"

"Flirty. I'm fine."

He blinked at you questioningly, before shrugging it off and rummaging through the cupboards for a scrap of anything edible.

Getting up, you retrieved a bottle of your usual from the store rooms, poured yourself a glass and sat back at the table.

"Tsk. Those brats," the cook growled as he finally slammed the fridge shut, "There's less left than I thought. Like hell I'll make something for him!"

You grinned, "So that's why you're already preparing something."

He smirked as he poured a splash of oil into the frying pan, "Why of course."

"Well," you swirled the drink around your glass, "Cap's really not the sort of person you want to say no to."

He hummed in agreement, sprinkling seasoning onto the sizzling pan, "I actually declined his invitation to be on the crew, y'know."

"What? No way!" Setting the drink aside, you rested your head on your hands in anticipation.

"Yeah." Sanji crossed his arms and pouted in a crude impression of Luffy, "'I refuse your refusal!'."

You giggled, "Oh no he didn't!"

Grinning himself, his eyes barely left the food in front of him, "C'mon. It's Luffy, what else would he do?"

"Fair 'nuff!" You raised your glass towards him, "I accepted the offer before he even asked me."

He snorted, "He must have loved that."

"Yeah I don't really think I've convinced him that I'm not magic yet." You grimaced, "If he wants me to pull a prank or something, he just screams for the psycho or the magic woman..."

"I'm just surprised he doesn't call you a 'Mystery Woman' already."

Your eyes met.

Sanji snorted.

You squeaked.

Throwing back your heads you both burst into peals of laughter.

"I am...THE Mystery Woman!"

"Ah yes! THE Mystery Woman! I did not recognise you there, how do you do mademoiselle?" He mock bowed with the frying pan.

You twirled your hands and glass in a gaudy manner, "I'm quite fine thank you, kind sir. Now if you don't mind, I've got plans to be mysterious and don't want to be late."

"Why are we still laughing? It's not even that funny!"

Stifling your giggles, you raised a finger, "Maybe it's a...mystery."

This, of course, set the two of you off again into another fit of giggles.

"WHY!" Sanji glared at you, but it had no real force behind it because of the massive smile on his face, "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" You eyed your shoulder suspiciously, "I'm not drunk, right?"

" _Miraculously, no you are not. Although that would explain a considerable amount in the current situation."_

Pouting, you flicked the tattoo.

Now that you had stopped laughing, you finally registered the sounds of excitement coming from outside.

You sighed, getting to your feet, "What the hell're they playing at now?" Sauntering towards the porthole by the door, you peered through.

To your horror, you recognised a man in a pink overcoat, white ballet shoes and blue medieval clothes linking arms with Luffy, Chopper and Usopp. White wings spread out from his shoulder blades, two swans curved to form an upside down twos.

Gulping, you hurriedly crouched down under the porthole, "Oh this is bad."

Quickly but carefully placing his freshly made food onto a plate, Sanji rushed over towards you, "What's the problem." He looked out the porthole and almost gagged on his cigarette, "Who the hell is that?!"

"Bentham." You grimaced, pearing gingerly through the glass, "Better known as Baroque Works' Mister Two Bon Kurei."

Sanji cursed under his breath, making for the door.

Hissing, you grabbed his hand pulling him back down next to you.

He glared at you, "What're you doing!? We need to warn them!"

"No. We need to stay right here." You flicked his forehead, "Benny has clone-clone fruit powers. If he touches someone, he can become a perfect copy of them."

His eyes widened, "He's probably already touched all of them."

You nodded, "So us going out there now won't do anything. In fact," you winced, "just me being there will make things worse…"

"Because we said that you were with Mister Three on the snail…" Sanji gritted his teeth as he slumped down next to you, "And they don't know my face yet..."

"Well, apart from Chopper, but that ship's sailed." You drummed your fingers on your chin, "Not to mention what he could do with your face…Using the face of a Vinsmoke could destroy countries..."

Sanji stiffened next to you.

Slowly turning, you took in his stupefied expression. "...Was I...not supposed to know or something?"

He blinked.

"Cause I mean, it's kinda obvious to those who have actually met them, curly eyebrows, brightly colored hair and all..." You chuckled nervously, trailing off when his expression didn't change. Taking his hand, you gave it a quick squeeze, "But I guess that's a conversation for another time." Taking a quick glance through the porthole, you stood up, "Well we should go back outside; Benny's gone."

You made for the door, only to have your arm dragged back.

"Can you, uh, not tell…" Sanji's hair fell across his face, shielding his expression.

You smiled softly, "Now why would I do that? In case you hadn't noticed, I've been keeping secrets my entire life. One more won't hurt."

He sucked in a breath, dropping his hand limply to the floor.

You opened the door, letting in a stream of light and laughter. Before you stepped through, however, you turned to him, "Y'know that talk we had earlier, Sanji, before all this? It was nice. We should chat like that more often."

Not waiting or expecting a reply, you went out to rejoin the rest of your friends playing in the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I'm more than a little frustrated by the lack of plot this chapter; I had no idea how hard it was to constantly stop-start writing in between bits of revision. That and Sanji was jumping up and down trying to get noticed, and I couldn't help but write about him. He's growing on me.
> 
> I also come bearing some bad news I'm afraid. A week ago I found out that my Grandmother has unfortunately passed away. Thankfully, I'm holding up a lot better than I expected I would be, but it just means that I've lost a lot of my focus. This, along with the fact that I still have exams to study for, just means that it takes me just a bit more effort to get a chapter out, especially if I want to make it a good one. That won't stop me trying though! I love writing this, so it's going to take a lot more than that to keep me from continuing Missy's story!
> 
> Thank you all so much for the kudos and the comments! I cannot say enough how much it makes my day to read each one. If I don't reply to any comment, it's because it'd just get too repetitive. To all of you once again, thank you!


	24. Wait, how is HE your brother!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this at the top of every chapter...it's getting harder to think of these

“I have to say, Mop-boy,” you smirked as you tightened the white cloth over the black cross on your arm, “This is actually a decent plan.”

_ “I’m impressed  _ he  _ of all people was the one who came up with it.” _

You snorted, earning a suspicious glare from Zoro.

“I can see the island!” Luffy whooped from his ‘seat’.

Vivi’s face lit up as she saw her homeland finally come into view on the horizon, “We’re going to stop at a port called Nanohana. We’ll have to hide the ship, did you have any visions, Miss (y/n)?”

Leaning on the railing, you shook your head noncommittally, “Not anything useful at any rate.”

“Oh come now,” she smiled at you, “I’m sure if  _ you _ of all people know something, it will be very useful.”

“Well...I did get a word.”

“And that was...?”

“Sand.”

“Just sand?”

“Just sand.”

Her face fell, “I see.”

Luffy pouted, “I don’t see what’s so bad about sand...”

You groaned, hanging your head, “Oh just you wait...”

* * *

“Ah.” Usopp stroked his chin, glancing around at the large sand dunes in every direction, “I think I see what you mean…”

“No shit,” you mumbled, “Some use I am…”

“Fooooooooooood!”

“Oh be quiet and listen for once, Luffy.” A hand clapped down on your shoulder. Nami smiled encouragingly at you before her eyes narrowed as she faced the rest of the crew, “Listen up everyone, ‘cause I’m only going to say this once. I expect you all to be on your best behavior at all times.”

“Okay, Nami-swan~!” Sanji grinned, waving both his arms wildly in the air.

You flinched slightly,  _ ‘That’s a little too much, even for Flirty, right?’ _

_ “I can’t really tell. But can you really blame him?” _

_ ‘Guess not.’ _ Glancing down at the black ‘metal’ currently snaking round your wrist, your eyes narrowed,  _ ‘Are we going to be alright if you stay like that, Mello? We’re not going to collapse or anything if we keep this up for too long?’ _

The bangle wriggled for a moment before fixing into place,  _ “Oh Doctor Chopper said we should be fine if I don’t move too much. Being like this means that there’s lots of skin contact, and it is far more inconspicuous than the usual tattoo.” _

“If you’ve had enough time talking to that freaky blood thing, Missy…”

You stuck out your tongue.

Zoro scowled, “...The guy we have to worry about ‘being on best behavior’ the most already took off.”

“FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!”

“HEY HOLD IT!! LUFFY!!!” Nami growled, clenching her fists as she watched the cloud of dust vanish into the distance.

Usopp gulped, “He’s completely inhuman...”

“Ha. That’s funny.”

“Really funny.”

“I was expecting this from you, (y/n)...” he sweatdropped, “but you’ve corrupted Chopper  _ already _ ?”

“Problem?”

“Oh Missy you hypocrite.”

“Ooooh look at Mop-boy using his big, fancy words!”

“Mi-”

“It is astounding that his brain can keep up with this new vocabulary. How fascinating, I’ll have to run some tests...”

“CHOPPER?!”

“What should we do?” Vivi wrung out her hands, ignoring your squabble.

“Eh, don’t worry.” Sanji smirked as he stepped up onto the railing and hopped gracefully down onto the shore, “Just go to the noisiest place you can find. That’s where he’ll be.”

“That or the nearest restaurant,” you giggled, vaulting after him.

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Usopp sighed.

Nami placed a hand on her head, “Geez, I wish he’d remember that he’s got a bounty on his head. Especially in a country this big.”

“Oh just let him be,” Zoro grumbled as he climbed down the rope ladder, Chopper calmly perched on his head and knocking on the swordsman’s skull, “He’ll be fine. Let’s just go eat already. We’ll think about stuff later.”

Nami grumbled under her breath, before pointing a finger at you, “And (y/n)! What about your bounty, huh?! It’s almost ten times as much as his!”

“Pffsh,” you waved your hand casually from side to side, “That was six years ago. I’m sure they’ve forgotten all about that. It’ll be fiiiiine.” You scratched your head, “Besides, I’m planning on camping out in a restaurant to wait for Cap. So shouldn’t be that much of a problem, yeah?”

She exhaled sharply, “What about the fact Baroque Works is LOOKING FOR YOU!”

“Ah, point taken. Speaking of Baroque Works by the way, that wouldn’t be Mister Three’s ship over there would it,” You pointed towards the odd shaped ship, “It has all ‘threes’ all over it and all, but I hadn’t really met him so…”

Vivi gasped, clapping her hands to her mouth.

“Well, that’s all the answer I needed.”

Sanji bit down on his cigarette “So he’s here.”

“That means trouble.” Zoro grimaced, “We’ll be recognised.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan!”

Your face fell as you watched Usopp cackle down at you, “I am not getting a good feeling about this…”

“You don’t have to be psychic to tell that, Missy…”

* * *

“Okay everyone! The coast is clear!” Usopp cried, throwing off the dust sheet.

Zoro grimaced, “We already took it off.”

“Looks like no one noticed us!”

“ _ That _ would be a miracle...” Nami groaned.

“Oh come on, it wasn’t  _ that _ bad you guys.”

“Do you have any pride, (y/n)?”

“Excuse me? Ex-assassin here? I’ve been crawling through a literal sewer before. A dust sheet, not so bad.”

Usopp blanched, “I did not need that mental image.”

“Vivi-chan, you’ll be safe from prying eyes here for the time being.”

She stared blankly at the ground , clearly not registering Sanji’s words.

“Vivi-chan?”

“Aaah! Y-yes? Yes, yes, what is it?”

Sanji lowered his voice, “What’s wrong?”

“I...I’m sorry.” She shut her eyes, clenching the dust cloth tightly, “I was just thinking...At least, while I was looking at the city…” She smiled weakly, “Everything still seemed to be fine. And though I can’t truly be at ease...I think it can be saved.”

“You know what, I think it can,” you smirked.

She blinked at you in confusion.

“So Vivi,” Zoro stepped up behind you, “You said you had forces to suppress the rebellion, right?”

She nodded slowly.

“Then what’s the next step? What do we have to do?”

Raising her head, Vivi’s eyes widened.

Zoro crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, “If we can still save them, we have to take action soon.”

“Y-yes that’s true. B-b-but you only promised to take me as far as Alabasta and, and-”

“Enough!” Nami gently punched the babbling princess in the middle of her forehead, “I can’t believe you’re still talking like that!”

“Yeah. We’re here aren’t we? Might as well help you out. Besides,” you placed a hand on your hip, “If you think that we’re just going to leave you to deal with this by yourself after all we’ve been through together, then consider me offended.”

“They’re right Vivi.” Usopp piped up, “Don’t get all distant on us now.”

“And I’m pretty interested in this Warlord…”

“And now the true motivations are revealed.”

“Dammit, Missy!”

Nami growled.

You and Zoro shut up.

She sighed, turning back to Vivi, “In any case, quit over-thinking this!”

“And of course, everyone except me is being hunted, too.” Sanji chuckled nervously, “That’s just how it is.”

“And if this country is crushed,” Nami’s face darkened, “I won’t get my fee for escorting you here. Understand?”

“Y-yes.”

And in that single word, the cloud over the navigator’s head was gone, “Good, you understand!”

“And now the true motivations are revealed; part two.”

“Yeah, she’s going to Hell.”

“Why thank you (y/n), Zoro. And Zoro, don’t think I haven’t forgotten your debt either.”

He bristled.

“I’ll get it from you,” she sniggered, “even if I’m a ghost!”

“...bitch...”

“Eh, what was that? Couldn’t quite hear you there. Sanji darling, could you hear what he said?”

"HOW DARE YOU CALL THE GORGEOUS NAMI-SWAN SUCH VULGAR NAMES, YOU FILTHY MARIMO!"

Clearing her throat, Vivi quickly laid out her goal to find the rebel base at the Yuba Oasis and stop the rebellion that way.

You raised a hand, “No offence Vivi, but that plan sucks.”

Nami slapped you over the head “It’s a great plan; the hell’re you talking about?!”

“Well that’s easy.” You groaned, rubbing your tender bump, “How do we know how long your ‘friends’ are going to stay there? They’re rebels after all, and only complete idiots would stay in the same place for long.”

Vivi lowered her head, “I know, but I’m willing to take the risks...”

“Not to mention that if Baroque Works is as big as you say it is, and let's face it it's probably bigger, who’s to say that they haven’t got operatives planted in the rebel army, huh? They’d make it impossible to meet with the leader.”

She clenched her fists, “Again, I am fully aware of that-”

“Really? You sure? Because I don’t think that you’re looking at the bigger picture here.”

Usopp gingerly prodded your back, voice warbling, “Uuuh, (y/n)...Keep your voice down...You’re going too far…”

Spinning on your heel, you glared at him, “No, I don’t think I’ve gone nearly ‘far’ enough, actually. There are way too many unknown variables that we just don’t know about. Hell, there could even be operatives placed in the royal arms and the King’s guards. The more the merrier, eh?”

Nami thwacked you again, harder and on the same spot as before, “Show some sensitivity!”

“And what good would that do? Spare someone’s feelings?” You raised your arms casually behind your head, “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re in the middle of a civil war.”

She growled, “That’s the entire point, and you’re just trying to make things difficult.”

You laughed disjointedly, “ _ Me _ ? Difficult?  _ I’m _ the only one here who’s actually experienced infiltrating a country like this, Miss I-Don’t-Care-For-Anything-But-Money, so don’t  _ you  _ tell me that  _ I’m  _ being difficult.”

_ “Which is precisely why you should calm down and explain yourself to them-” _

“I think I’m doing a fantastic job of explaining myself to them, Mello.” Raising your right arm to gesture vaguely at your crew, you raised an eyebrow at the bangle on your left, “We’re planning. Isn’t this how it’s normally done when people plan? By immediately pointing out all the flaws in a suggested plan? It's what we normally did.”

_ “NO! That was just CP9-I’d thought you’d have realised that by now! Now if you can please just take a deep breath-” _

“Fine then,” Vivi snapped her head up and marched towards you, prodding you in the chest, “What do  _ you  _ propose then, Miss Ex-Assassin?”

Tilting your head back, you crossed your arms, “Simple. We go straight for Crocodile. He goes down, entire organisation goes down. Problem. Solved.”

Nodding slowly, Zoro grimaced, “She’s got a point…”

“I’ve actually been thinking that’s the best option for a while now.” Sanji mumbled, rubbing his head in embarrassment, “Apologies, Vivi-chan, but I’m with Miss Mysterious.”

You snorted.

He winked.

_ "Now's really not the time you two." _

Chopper hopped up onto a section of the collapsed wall, “Big sis (y/n)’s right…That option seems the most efficie-”

“BUT THAT WON’T STOP THE WAR!”

Usopp gaped, “Vivi...”

Pointing a finger in your face, she sharply lent forwards towards your face, “And what happens in wars, Miss ‘Ex’-Assassin? People die. I am not sacrificing a single one of my people for a pointless war; that is my entire reason for spending my time rotting in that horrible organisation. You may be correct-”

“Of course I’m-”

She pulled your face towards hers, “Oh I’m not quite finished! You may be correct in your line of reasoning. But you, as you have been so very kindly keep pointing out to us, were an assassin. Or in other words, a  _ murderer _ . Your line of reasoning doesn’t  _ care  _ if innocent people get killed. What’s one more to your extensive death toll. And I’m wondering if you really are an ‘ex’-assassin as you say you are, and if you truly regret your actions. You made a promise never to kill again, correct. As much as that is admirable, are you really going to stick to it? Because I think that you’d break that promise without a second thought.”

You grimaced.

“Uh, Vivi…” Usopp stepped in between you, waving his hands frantically, “This is getting out of hand. You don’t know anything about what (y/n)’s been through…”

She shoved him aside without a glance, “From how you’re currently acting, I’d say that mentally you’re returning to your previous profession. Not caring about the blood that gets spilled, as long as the job gets done, is that correct? A true psychopath…Actually, that’d be a compliment for some...someTHING like you.” She turned away, “I know you want people to see you as a _person_ rather than by your actions, but if you don’t respect life, and can talk about ending someone without so much as batting an eye...I don’t see how you possibly could be considered  _ alive _ , let alone human.”

Breathing heavily, the princess of Alabasta met your gaze with no hesitation.

A pause.

“Is that it?” You barked out an unamused laugh, “Are you quite done telling me that my life’s goal, the entire reason I’m even  _ here  _ right now, is completely pointless and I should just give up already? Because if you’re not finished, please continue and smash the rest of my hopes and dreams to bits.”

Vivi paled, “Oh my gosh I’m so so-”

“‘Oh my gosh I’m so sorry, I had no idea’.” You deflated, smiling softly, “Spare me the lies. Because guess what, you’re absolutely right.”

Zoro frowned, “Missy…”

You raised your arms, shrugging, “It’s as you said...that’s just how I work. I’m no saint y’know. I’m a weapon, it’s literally in the name. And as much as I may have convinced myself otherwise...I guess that’s all I’ll ever be.”

Shoving your hands in your pockets, you stalked past your friends and onto the street, “I’m going to find that restaurant now. I’ll come back when I find Cap, so no one needs to come with me. Go plan without me, obviously I make things a lot more difficult than it needs to be.”

“(y/n)-chan...”

“I said no one, Sanji.” Brushing off his hand, you waved limply over your shoulder, “Just...gimme a bit of time, ‘kay?”

* * *

“GAH! Kronos I’m such an idiot.” You whined as you thumped your head on the bar top.

Gulping, the waiter put down your drink and inched away as fast as politeness would let him.

_ “Now now, it is not your fault.” _

You rolled your eyes at the metal bangle, “Yes it is. If I hadn’t just shown a little sense and not gone off on Vivi like that, she wouldn’t hate me right now.”

The metal buzzed,  _ “Oh don’t be foolish, she doesn’t hate you. Everyone knows that you have as much tact as a steel mallet.” _

“Okay that was uncalled for.”

“Well someone must have had a rough day to end up talking to themselves.”

Flipping your head to the side, you glared up at the stranger.

“Woah, easy.” He chuckled, holding up his hands as he sank onto the stool next to you, “Just trying to be a good guy, y’know. Geez, it’s like your eyes are lasers.” Propping his head on gloved hands, he grinned warmly, “I’d buy you a drink, but I’m pretty certain that I’m going to end up broke in about 5 minutes.”

You raised an eyebrow, quickly taking in the appearance this weirdly confident stranger. For all you knew, he could be a Baroque Works agent.

He wasn’t from Alabasta, that much was certain by his clothes. The long desert headscarf was nowhere to be seen, leaving short, spiky, unkempt hair fully on display with a long black cord the only thing keeping it out of his face. It was a little strange that his hair colour was similar to yours, if not a little lighter, but you shrugged. It's the Grand Line after all, any possible colour of hair can randomly show up.

Frowning slightly, you sat up from the bar top, “Sorry, but do I know you from somewhere.”

“You know what,” He grinned, rubbing the back of his neck, “I was actually wondering about that myself. I just saw you over here, and i dunno, something in me told me to talk to you.” He winked, “Guess it’s fate, huh?”

A hand thwacked into the back of his head.

“So this is where you’d run off to. Some friend you are, dumbass.”

You gaped as Fire Fist Ace,  _ THE  _ Fire Fist Ace, slumped onto the available stool on your right.

Rubbing his head, Spiky-Hair grimaced, “I seriously thought you were right behind me. Narcolepsy musta kicked in or something...”

Ace rolled his eyes, “Right, I just think that you wanted to at least have a try with the ladies before I entered the room.” He tipped his neon orange cowboy hat discreetly towards you, “I’m really sorry if he disturbed you.” Taking in your appearance, he raised an eyebrow, “Damn you two look similar. You related or something?”

You shook your head shakily, eyes glued to the massive Whitebeard tattoo on his back.

“Nah dude! You know I don’t have a sister.”

“Shame. She’d be the only woman who’d ever actually care for you.”

“Apart from you, obviously. You’re too much of a sissy to be a real man after all.”

You blinked blankly as the two continued to banter on aimlessly over the top of your head, _ ‘That can’t be Fire Fist can it? Not really. Naaaah...’ _

_ “No...it is most certainly Portgas D Ace. The tattoos and the trademark hat makes it undoubtedly Fire Fist.” _

_ ‘Right...So how did I get in this situation again?’ _

_ “I’m afraid that I have no clue, Missy.” _

_ ‘Just checking…’ _

“Hellooooo,” Someone waved a hand in front of your eyes, “Anyone home in there?”

You grimaced.

“So tetchy,” Spiky-Hair giggled, before jerking his thumb towards his companion, “If you can stand it, I’d actually scoot over this way a bit if I were you. Ace, powerful as he is...really isn’t the tidiest of eaters.”

Eyes boggling at the large array of dishes and the smirk on Ace’s face, you hurriedly moved the stool as far as you could.

The fire user pouted, “I am so not a messy eater.”

“Nah you are,” Spiky-Hair rolled his eyes, “You just don’t realise it.”

Grumbling menacingly, Ace snatched up his cutlery and started to attack his food.

Although he ate fast, you noticed, he still managed to get everything into his mouth. You shrugged, “He’s not that messy. My captain’s way messier”

“Oh you just wait for it,” Spiky-hair held up a finger, stifling giggles.

“Oi, shuddup you dumbass! I said I’m no-”

Thump!

You snorted into your drink.

The sight of Fire Fist Ace face planting into his food mid-speech, arm outstretched to eat another morsel, was enough to drive anyone to fits of laughter, let alone an emotionally unstable ex-assassin.

It worked for Spiky-Hair, Slapping the bar top repetitively, he just howled at the sudden food debris strewn along the counter, “I told you didn’t I?! Such a messy eater!”

“Have to admit, that’s pretty bad,” you giggled, raising an eyebrow, “he’s so quiet though... And what’s with his arm”

Everyone else in the Spice Bean quickly backed away from the limp body. The chef  hurried forwards gingerly to tap you and Spiky on the arm, “You do realise that your friend here may have unwittingly eaten a type of spider called the Desert Strawberry. It’s a poisonous breed of spider which resembles a strawberry. If you happen to eat one, you’ll just suddenly die a few days later.”

You rolled your eyes, taking a grateful sip of your drink. Alabastan alcohol wasn’t that bad, if not a little dry. And quite frankly, it’s just what you needed.

“Eh, just give him a bit,” Spiky droned impassively, swiping Ace’s glass and downing the entire contents. “Sweeeet, that hit the spot! But the dude’s tired, just let him rest.” Whistling to himself, he slid one of the many plates of food in front of his friend towards him, “I’m actually going to get to eat something! Score!”

The chef blinked, “Well, that’s the problem, your friend is at the point of eternal slumber.” He took off his hat, holding it to his chest, “I am so sorry for your loss, but I recommend the two of you vacate the premises immediately...Now that he has passed, the Desert Strawberry’s highly contagious poison will spread from the corpse, immediately affecting anyone in close proximity...”

“How the hell is he keeping this thing upright?” You flicked Ace’s arm experimentally, curious to see whether it would flop to the side.

As soon as your finger touched his arm, everything went blurry. You gripped the bartop as hard as you could to stop yourself from keeling over backwards. For a split second, all you could hear was screaming, sobbing and an animalistic guttural wail before a burning sensation erupted in your chest and…

It stopped.

Gulping, the poor chef stumbled off, complaining shrilly about ‘the common sense of tourists’.

Someone prodded your back.

Breathing heavily, you wiped the cold sweat off your brow, glancing gingerly to the side.

“You alright?” Spiky drew back his hand hurriedly, his face strangely pensive.

You nodded slowly, reaching for where the fiery heat had burned through your chest.

_ ‘The hell was that Mello…’ _

_ “I think you know as well as I, Missy.” _

Ace took this very opportune moment to abruptly sit bolt upright once more.

“HE CAME BACK TO LIFE!”

“HE PASSED THE TOXINS OVER TO THE GIRL!”

“Wait...can he do that…?”

Spiky rolled his eyes sarcastically as Ace blinked the last bits of sleep away.

A serving girl cautiously stumbled closer, making sure to avoid you as best she could.

Ace slowly turned to face her as she got closer.

“A-are you okay?”

She shrieked as he simply picked up her skirts to wipe the remnants of food from his face.

“Man…Damn...” Cocking his head towards Spiky, he shovelled another mouthful of food into his mouth as if none of that had ever happened, “Yo Cas, I fell asleep again, didn’ I…”

“Yup. Like a baby.”

“YOU FELL ASLEEEEP!?”

“T-that’s not possible! In the middle of a meal and conversation!?”

“And he just starts chewing again…”

“Oi!” Spiky-Hair-now-known-as-Cas glared back at them, “The guy’s narcoleptic, alright? Knock it off, this woman is actually in tro-”

“I’m fine.” You grinned, massaging your temples as you eyed Fire-Fist warily, “Just...got a little scare is all.”

Cas’ eyes narrowed as the crowd grumpily dispersed, “That was a pretty intense reaction for ‘just a little scare’.”

“Huh? Are you alright, miss?” Ace glared at Cas, “You didn’t do anything  _ funny  _ when I was asleep, did you dumbass…”

“Oh please, everything I do is funny.”

Ace narrowed his eyes, still shovelling food into his mouth at an alarming rate.

“It wasn’t his fault.” You giggled, motioning to the chef for another glass of whatever, “As I said, just a little scare.”

“And I’m still calling bull!” Cas pushed back his empty plate.

_ ‘Hang on. When did he eat that?’ _

_ “If he has to compete with  _ that _ fiery powerhouse, I’m truly not surprised.” _

“Aaah!”

True to Mello’s word, Ace dropped his cutlery down onto his amazingly large pile of empty plates.

He groaned, leaning back with his arms behind his head, “I’m full! Oh,” His eyes widened as he bought a sheet of yellowing paper out of his pack and placed it in front of you, “This guy hasn’t come to this town, has he?”

You blinked.

“A pirate wearin’ a straw hat...you seen him?”

_ ‘That’s Cap…’ _

_ “Congratulations for stating the obvious, Missy.” _

_ ‘No but I mean, what do they want with Luffy?’ _ Your brow furrowed,  _ ‘This could end badly.’ _

“I guess you don’t have a problem with eating in public.” A very familiar voice droned, “Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates, Second Division. Portgas D. Ace.”

You almost spat out your drink, letting your head thump down onto the counter.

Thump.

Hurried murmurs rippled through the bar.

Thump.

“As per usual, you’ve got your right hand man, ‘Dreamweaver’ Caspar, with you.” Smoker continued, “What business do infamous pirates like you have in this country?”

Thum- _ ‘Hang on a second, did he say Caspar?’ _

Your jaw dropped.

Whipping your head up, you stared at Spiky. Now that you thought about it, Ace did have a point earlier, the two of you really did look similar. And the black cord through his hair… _‘Oh Kronos I’m such an idiot.’_

_ “No..I can confidently say we could not have seen this one coming…” _

_ ‘Hang on...he said he didn’t have a sister though…’ _

A familiar tendril of smoke twirled around your face.

You giggled nervously as you turned on your stool, “Oh hiya...Smokey…Fancy seeing you here.”

Smoker growled, “I see you got rid of your tattoo again. What are you doing here Missy?”

“Eh,” You shrugged, trying your hardest to calm your nerves, “They have good booze here. And the company’s not bad.”

Ace smirked, dipping his hat.

“M-Missy…?!” Caspar raised a shaky finger at Smoker, “You called her Missy, yeah? Not, like...y’know...THE Mis-”

“Her name is Missy Sai, deadly assassin.” Smoker pinched his nose in disdain, “I won’t ask you again, (y/n). What. Are. You. Doing. Here.”

Caspar giggled nervously, and boy was that sound familiar now you’d made the connection, “Aaaaace...”

“‘sup?”

“Sooo...you know we came here to find your little brother…”

“Woah woah woah,” Waving your hands hurriedly, you snapped your head towards Ace, “ Luffy , have I got that right,  _Luffy_ ...is your little brother?!”

His face lit up, “You know him?! Where is he?! How’s he doing?! Has he got a crew yet?!”

“Woah woah woah,” Caspar mimicked your action, staring incredulously at you the entire time, “I know you’re excited and everything dude, but for Kronos’ sake let me say this dammit!”

Ace stopped his babbling to glare at him, “Yeah? Then spit it out already! This is the closest I've ever got to hearing about my adorable little brother in years!”

Caspar sucked in a tired breath, “So you know we came here to find your little brother, yeah?”

“Yeah. So what?”

“Weeell...We may have accidentally found  _ my  _ little sister instead…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty then, who saw that one coming when you started the chapter? Good on you if you did. I have to say though, I noticed many things when writing this chapter:  
> 1\. Sassy Chopper gives me life  
> 2\. Angry Vivi is surprisingly easy to lose control of  
> 3\. Sassy Chopper gives me life  
> 4\. Missy is a dense idiot (I'm sure you guys aren't really, but she is)  
> 5\. Sassy Chopper gives me life  
> 6\. Ace is an awesome character to write even if he doesn't say anything
> 
> Speaking of Ace, I am super excited to announce that I'm working on an ASL x Reader fic! It's going to have a slightly different reader personality to Missy, so check it out when it's published! Working title is currently 'Broken Faith' (oooh, chiched, whoooop), and I'm actually hyped to get started, it's going to be a lot of fun to write. Hopefully I'll see you all there!
> 
> Hang on a second, I forgot something in my list.  
> 7\. Sassy Chopper gives me life


	25. Who needs brothers anyways...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own one piece. If I did, Caspar would be in the actual story. He's my spirit animal.

“Everyone,” You gestured to the man at your side, “This is the oldest of my brothers, Caspar.”

Caspar raised a hand, “Yo!”

Vivi, Usopp, Nami, Zoro, Sanji, Chopper and even Carue blinked in dismay.

“Huh?”

“I thought you were going to get Luffy.” Nami groaned.

Rubbing the back of your head, you giggled, “Weeeeell...About that...We had a tiny run in with Smoker...And we found Cap! He just sorta...crashed into Smoker’s head…”

“And Ace was kinda pissed...since Smoker then flew into him and then tried to arrest his brother, soooo...we thought we should get out of there…” Caspar chuckled weakly.

Zoro groaned, “Oh God, one Missy was bad enough...”

“Hang on a sec,” Usopp scratched his face, “If you guys really are related, doesn’t that make you a part of-”

“Yup!” Caspar bowed mockingly, “The first third of the ancient weapon Kronos, the bearer of Parelthon the blowgun of past, at your service.” He stuck out a hand.

Sanji eyed the bare hand warily, “If you’re anything like Miss Mysterious over there, then I feel that enabling skin contact would be a terrible idea.”

“Damn it,” Caspar sighed, pulling on his gloves, “And here I thought that you were a bunch of moronic idiots.”

The cook’s cigarette snapped in two.

Everyone froze as a bunch of marines ran by. As soon as they had passed, the Straw-hats glared at you and Caspar.

“What?” You shrugged, “This is hardly my fault.”

“And it really isn’t mine.”

“HALT, STRAW-HAT!”

“GYEEEEEEEEEE!”

You exchanged a glance with your brother (man it was weird to call him that) before raising an eyebrow at the dumbfounded crew.

Zoro grimaced, “I mean, come on. What did we expect…”

The straw-hatted figure turned his head to the side, changing his direction straight towards you, “Yo, Zoro! Woah, everyone’s over there! Hiya (y/n)!”

“IDIOT! Don’t come over here until you’ve lost them!”

“It’s the Straw-hat pirates and Dreamweaver Caspar of Whitebeard’s Second Division! We’ve sighted them!”

Caspar jerked his thumb towards the oncoming marines, “I can take care of them if you’d like.”

“No! Don’t do that!” Vivi moved in front of him, outstretching her arms, “That would just draw Crocodile’s attention to us, and that is the last thing we want right now.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Oookay? I don’t really know what you’ve gotten yourself into, but I guess I’ll help out.” Marching over to one of the packs, he shrugged it onto his shoulders. He grinned, “Well then? Where are we running to, your ship?”

“What’s taking you so long?” Luffy moaned as he dashed past, “Let’s get going!”

“Sure thing Cap!” Snatching a sack from the pile, you sprinted off after him with Caspar hot on your heels.

“YOU MORONS!”

Both you and your brother giggled gleefully.

“Everyone fall back! Straw-hat and Missy are mine!”

Caspar grimaced, “It seems you have an admirer, my dear little sister.”

“Kronos, don’t call me that.” You winced, “But yeah, Smoker is...an old friend.”

“I need to beat his face in.”

Recoiling a little, your eyes widened, “Wait, you can’t really mean that?”

He instantly grabbing your shoulder so you faced him, “I have been looking for you my entire life.  _ My entire life _ , (y/n). And I’m not about to lose you now, not to anyone.”

_ ‘I’m getting a bad feeling about this.’ _

_ “Yes, but can we have this bad feeling when we are not being pursued by marines?” _

“WHITE BLOW!” Smoker yelled out from somewhere behind you.

_ ‘Ah, good point.’ _

Luffy sprinted faster, screaming his heart out.

You were doing very much the same, just with more swearing involved.

“HEAT HAZE!”

Caspar sniggered, “About damn time, you jerk!”

Slowing to a stop, you turned to gaze in wonder at the impressive fire show you were now witnessing. You weren’t the only one; the entire Straw-hat crew stood transfixed by the flaming wall that had erected itself between you and the marines.

Caspar merely crossed his arms, obviously used to this over the top display.

Before long, the orange flames once licking the sky reformed themselves into a human figure.

“You again,” Smoker growled, slitting his eyes.

Ace’s grin widened as his flames encompassed his body, “Give it up. You may be smoke, but I am fire. With our abilities, this fight would be pointless.”

“Blah ba blah ba blah, just quit the poetry and kick his butt already.”

Grimacing, Ace glared daggers over his shoulder, “Cas…!”

“If you ask me,” Caspar ignored him, nudging your side, “He’s just showing off to impress Luffy.”

You barked out a laugh.

“QUIT IT!”

“Ace…” Luffy gaped, “It’s Ace! You ate a devil fruit!?”

“Yeah, the flame-flame fruit,” the currently flaming man replied, all smiles once more, “You never change, Luffy.”

“Yup. Definitely showing off.”

“I’LL KILL YOU CAS!”

“Eh, you love me really.”

Gritting his teeth, Ace reluctantly snapped his head back towards the regrouping marines, “As much as I’d really like to punch you in the face, we can’t really talk like this. I’ll catch up later, you guys run for it. I trust you’ll take good care of them, you dumbass.”

Caspar saluted mockingly, “Aye aye, Division Commander Sir. If you die, I’ll make sure your hat goes to a good cause.”

“That’s the best I’m gonna get, isn’t it?” Chuckling weakly, Ace slid back a foot in preparation to strike, “I’ll keep these guys busy! Get going already!” 

Luffy nodded even as he sprinted away, “Let’s go!”

“But Luffy,” Nami moaned as she hefted her oversized bag off the ground.

Sanji gave her a hand, easily slinging his own onto his back, “Who the hell is that?”

“Missy,” Zoro glared, “Answers. Now.”

“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeell…”

Luffy giggled, “Oh Ace is my brother.”

“What Cap said.”

“EH!! BROTHER?!?!”

“Oh come on, none of you reacted like that for me…”

Sanji’s eyebrow twitched, still in shock, “Well...that sort of resemblance isn’t hard to see.”

Vivi pinched the bridge of her nose, “So this Ace...It wouldn’t be  _ Fire Fist _ Ace by any chance. Wait, that is ridiculous-”

“Well yeah!” Caspar snickered, “How’d you guess.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she snapped, “the blazing fire tornado...THING behind you may have given me a clue!”

Glancing over your shoulder, you gave a low whistle, “I was wondering why the temperature went up.” 

“Ah, Big Sis (y/n)...You wouldn’t have even noticed.”

“Eh, point.”

“Hang on, the reindeer can talk?!”

* * *

“Are you sure about this?” Chopper inquired as he swung his feet aimlessly on the railing, “Setting sail without Luffy, I mean.”

Nami grimaced slightly, “The marines will be swarming the harbour pretty soon. We have to hide the ship somewhere.” She then turned to Vivi, who began pointing out potential locations.

“(y/n)-chwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan…” Sanji wailed, a black garment draped over his arm, “Why won’t you wear your dancer outfit I picked it out for you…?”

You groaned, slumping back against the mast, “It's not good for fighting in, Flirty. Too wavy and floaty and uugh…Nami and Vivi can wear that sorta thing, they look good in it, just...not me, okay?”

The cigarette wobbled around violently as the cook’s lips trembled, “B-b-b-but (y/n)-chwan…”

“She said no, so back off.” Snatching up the fabric, Caspar eyed it suspiciously, “My darling sister would never be caught dead in something as trashy as this. She has class!”

Zoro cackled as he paced worriedly up and down the deck, “Like hell she does!”

“As much as it pains me to admit it, Mop-boy has a point. I only ever wear a tube top and leggings, and maybe a jacket if I need to hide Mello’s tattoo,” you shrugged, “And it’s not like I’m the most civil person on this crew by a long shot.”

Caspar frowned, raising a finger towards Vivi and Nami in their own dancer outfits, “At least you’re better than those...those  _ harlots _ .”

“You just called the crown-princess of Alabasta. A harlot. Congrats.” Shaking your head, you gave your dumbfounded brother the slowest of slow claps. “But that’s really who you shouldn’t be worrying about.”

“Excuse me...”

“I just heard someone call me something very unflattering,” Nami leered over his shoulder, “Perhaps you could remind me.”

He gulped as her hand dug down on his shoulder.

Although watching Nami tear into someone else but you was the highlight of your day, you took this very opportune moment to change into the discarded outfit in the girls’ room.

_ “Now you’re just being petty.” _

You hummed in agreement, admiring yourself in the mirror. You had to hand it to Sanji, he could really pick female outfits. Even better, he hadn’t got you one of the skirt things that the others were wearing, instead opting for some loose silk trousers. You high kicked experimentally. Oh yeah, you could fight in this. And it even matched Mello in bracelet form, which in a weird way made you quite satisfied.

_ “You’d made up your mind to get changed into this as soon as he said you were not permitted to wear it, hadn’t you.” _

_ ‘Yup.’ _ Sniggering, you threw open the door and sauntered out, “Yo Flirty, this is awesome! I didn’t think you’d put this much effort in!”

He winked, “Anything for Miss Mysterious. But I have to say,” he smirked, “you look divine.”

“Yeah, you almost look female, Missy.”

“Big Sis (y/n), you look awesome!”

A figure stepped in front of you, “HOLD IT!” Caspar spun to loom over you, “I am not letting you prance about dressed like  _ that  _ in front of these men. Who knows what they might do to you? Get changed. Now.”

“No,” you pouted, crossing your arms.

“I said  _ ‘now’ _ .”

“And I said  _ ‘no’ _ .”

“NOW!”

“NO!”

“It’s for your ow-”

“ _ NO! _ ” A vein throbbing in your temple, you marched over and slapped him, “As you said,  _ Caspar _ , we’ve been separated our entire lives. So don’t pretend you know what’s best for me when you barely know me.”

He froze, “(y/n)...”

You stepped back, “I appreciate that you care about my well being, and trust me I feel the same way about you even if I don’t show it as much, but being over protective isn’t the same thing as caring.”

Everyone’s head snapped to a hand that had now grabbed the side of the Merry.

The expressions of the other Straw-hats soon morphed into varying degrees of horror and panic as they shuffled out of the intended trajectory.

Caspar still stared at you blankly, a hand inching up towards where you’d slapped him.

“And you shouldn’t insult Mop-boy, Usopp, Cap or Sanji like that.” You glared, crossing your arms, “I’d trust them with my life.”

“I’m...baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!” Luffy grinned, rocketing into Caspar and collapsing in a heap on the deck.

“Oh Mister Caspar…” Vivi gasped, rushing over to his unmoving form, “Are you alright?!”

Zoro pinched his nose, “Not again.”

“Perhaps the trauma to the skull would be beneficial...Isn’t that right, Big Sis (y/n)?”

“Chopper, I have taught you well.”

Luffy giggled, “Sorry Ace’s-friend!”

“Do you even know your own strength?” Sanji groaned.

“A better question, do you even know how much trouble you’ve caused us?” Nami growled, slamming a fist into Luffy’s head, “Act a little more like a captain.”

“Sorry...Oh yeah, Ace!” Scrambling off the groaning Whitebeard pirate, Luffy frantically scanned the shoreline.

You yawned as your captain prattled on and on about how strong his brother was. It was only natural that one of Whitebeard’s commanders would be stronger than a nobody from the east blue. Which is why you rolled your eyes as Luffy boldly announced how he could beat Ace as he was.

You didn’t even think you could beat him.

A figure nimbly hopped into the air from behind Luffy, “And just who can you beat?”

The rubber boy tumbled out of the way to let him perch on the railing behind, “Oh Ace, these are the nakama that I was telling you about.”

“Oh?” Hopping onto the deck, Ace dipped his hat respectfully, “Why hello everyone.” He smirked at you, “We’ve met.”

“When you weren’t asleep that is,” you winked back, 

He ignored you, “I trust my little brother has been in your care.”

“Yes. He has.”

He grinned at the long faces, “He has no manners, so he’ll probably end up burning your hands a few times.”

“Yes. He has.”

“I’ll entrust him to you.”

Pouting, you crossed your arms, “Well, aren't you the ideal brother.”

“He’s a bit of a handful, isn’t he?” Ace laughed, lighting Sanji’s cigarette with a flick of a finger. Noticing Caspar still on the deck, he frowned and crouched down next to him, “What happened?”

Since no one else spoke up, you sighed, “He got knocked over by Cap.”

“Yeah, and?”

“I slapped him.”

His eyes widened, “Ah shit. You okay there, Cas? Talk to me, buddy...”

“But she only slapped him. I’d be more worried that Luffy landed on him if you ask me,” Usopp pointed out, nodding pensively.

“That’d be if he wasn’t an ancient weapon, you idiot!” Ace sucked in a breath, “Look, I’m sorry for raising my voice like that, but he’s my best friend. He knows me better than I know myself.”

You felt like you’d been punched in the gut, “He sees the past of anyone he touches.”

He nodded.

And you’d slapped him. On the face. With your bare hands. “What exactly-?”

“Everything. Memories, emotions, inner thoughts, the lot.” Ace barked out a tired laugh, “Completely freaked me out first time I met him. After a single hand shake, he told me-” He froze, scrutinizing your face, “But you should already know this stuff…”

“(y/n)...”

Ace leant over, “Dude are you alright?”

Moving over, you crouched over by the other side, “Caspar I am so sorry! I was just so frustrated that I forgot-”

“You idiot, I should be apologizing to you.” Leaning up, he quickly trapped you in a hug.

_ ‘What.’ _

“I’m pathetic. What I saw, it’s just… No one should have had to go through what you did alone. You should have had someone there to protect you. I’m your big brother, even if only by two hours. It’s my job to do that, and I wasn’t there to help you.”

“Well how-”

Tightening his grasp, Caspar chuckled softly, “Just let me finish, ‘kay? Then you can yell at me as much as your heart desires.” He sucked in a breath, “Although I was looking for everyone ever since I could walk, well I… I actually thought that you were somewhere safe like me until I accidentally ran into Moko six years ago.”

You stiffened.

“Yeah it was a massive shock to see him just randomly show up on the Moby Dick, lemme tell you that. Ace will tell you every single detail about how I completely freaked out, I’m sure. But you know what he can do. So yeah, I found out you were Missy Sai, but by that point you’d vanished and everyone thought you were dead. That...that was...rough...I’d kinda lost all hope at that point. Ace, thanks for sticking with me through that. I needed it.”

Ace lightly nudged him on the shoulder.

“But still, when I found out that the little sister I thought grew up happy and carefree somewhere where people loved her, instead got emotionally manipulated into being a scapegoat...I just wanted to curl up and die. I felt so...guilty. I still feel guilty...I now know how you felt back then, but I always hated myself that I didn’t search harder. If I’d found you sooner...maybe you’d have some time to grow up happy...”

“Does it look like I’m unhappy now?”

He blinked.

Raising an eyebrow, you cocked your head to the side, “I’m pretty certain that you didn’t see some of my memories from the past four years or something. Since I’m pretty certain that I’m not as miserable as you’re saying I am.”

“Well, yeah. But still…”

“So quit blaming yourself. Yeah my past is messed up, I get it already. But trust me, there are people out there who have worse. What’s more important is how people deal with their messed up pasts. Look around you, and ask yourself this. Does it look like I’m unhappy here? Does it look like I’m trapped? Does it look like I’m being emotionally manipulated?”

Glancing around to your crewmates, Caspar slowly shook his head.

You grinned, “I’m as happy here as I’m sure you were with Whitebeard. It’s a bit late, and I'm still having to catch up on bits from my childhood that I missed, but like hell I’m not going to have a great time while doing it. Having a tragic past doesn’t really stop anyone from living life to the fullest, as almost everyone here would agree. And besides,” You smirked, gesturing to Mello on your wrist, “It’s not like either of us are ever really alone.”

That made him laugh, “I guess not. Parel never shuts u-OW!” He let go of you to grasp his head band, “Parel what the fu-OKAY OKAY I’M SORRY ALRIGHT!”

Tension averted, you heard many chuckles and sighs of relief as you contentedly watched your brother tear at the black cord around his head.

_ ‘That looks familiar.’ _

_ “Agreed. Much to my disdain.” _

“Well, that’s over at least,” Ace laughed, rocking back onto his heels, “I thought that’d end in tears for sure. You’re too emotional, Cas.”

He bristled, sitting bolt upright, “Like hell I am! You were the one with a fragile enough ego to start showing off as soon as his little brother enters the room.  _ ‘You may be smoke, but I am fire. With our abilities, this fight would be pointless. Neh neh neeeeeh. _ ’ I mean, c’mon what was that?”

“I do  _ not  _ sound like that!”

“Nah, your voice is a little more high pitched.”

Coughing discreetly, you held up a hand, “As much as I hate to ruin the bromance here, we have more pressing matters to attend to.”

_ ‘If looks could kill…’ _

“As in the fleet of Baroque Works Billions that have been sitting over there for five minutes already. Why they haven’t started firing at us already is beyond me.”

_ “I believe these are more appropriate to be labeled ‘Killer Stares’.” _

“WHY DIDN’T YOU MENTION THIS SOONER!”

“DAMMIT MISSY! DO YOU WANT TO GET US KILLED?!”

“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO MY SISTER WITH THAT TONE!”

“ _ WHY IS EVERYBODY SHOUTING _ ?!”

* * *

“This is great! Ace and Caspar are our crewmates now! CHEERS!”

Ace pouted grumpily at Chopper, Luffy and Usopp, “Who ever said I’d be on your crew?”

He was the one who actually dealt with the fleet, not to anyone’s surprise, with Caspar teasing him about showing off the entire time.

“Yeah,” Caspar shrugged as he nudged you with his tankard, “It’s good to see you again, (y/n), but I belong with Whitebeard.”

“Pffft! Don’t worry about it. I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t let you go,” you winked.

Nami grinned, “Oh you don’t need to worry ‘bout them. Those guys are always looking for an excuse to party.”

Ace rolled his eyes, before downing the rest of his tankard, “Speaking of partying, this is an impressive selection of drinks, and tailor made to each person too. Who organizes all of these? Zoro?”

The rest of the straw-hats did a spit take before breaking out into peals of laughter.

“Mister Bushido?!” Vivi wheezed, clutching her sides, “If he were the one to organise everything, the ship would run out of spirits within the first day!”

Zoro smirked, “Make that the first hour.”

“At least you’re self aware, Mop-boy.” Giggling, you tossed him another bottle, “but nah, I manage the booze here.”

Caspar grinned, throwing an arm over your shoulder, “Look at you! My sister is so talented! It’s just as well Pops didn’t see you first, otherwise you’d be forced to come join us!”

“So Big bro Caspar,” Chopper padded over with a mouth full of rice cracker, “Are you really not going to be a part of our crew?”

“Nah. I’m really out here to help out Ace. Finding (y/n) here was awesome, but that’s the main reason I’m here.”

All eyes locked onto Ace as he crossed his legs on the barrel, “I’m in pursuit of a man.” He took another swig. “He’s known as Blackbeard.”

The name once more was enough to make your temple throb.

“He used to be a member of the Whitebeard pirates, second division. My subordinate.”

_ ‘I thought the first time was weird, but again?’ _

_ “I’m worried Missy.” _

_ 'That's worrying in itself.' _

Ace continued, lowering his head, “That is, until he committed the greatest crime you can on a pirate ship.”

“He killed someone,” Caspar growled, “He killed one of our fellow crewmates and then ran off like the coward he is.”

“As his Commander, I have to find him and finish him off.”

“No.” The word had left your mouth before you even registered it.

Usopp narrowed his eyes, “I dunno, (y/n). I think I speak for all of us that we’d all react the same way if that happened to one of us.”

You put down your tankard, focusing on massaging your temple, “Nah, I agree with that part. It’s just... this guy is bad news.”

“Well yeah,” Caspar glowered, “He killed one of his own; of course he’s bad news!”

Zoro frowned, setting his own tankard down, “Gut feeling?”

“It’s more than that this time.”

Caspar’s expression froze, before he became lost in deep thought, “I see. So that’s how it is.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Ace blinked, “I’m a little lost here…”

“In case you’ve forgotten, I’m also an ancient weapon.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Well yeah, you’re Cas’ sister so of course you are. You also see the past, yeah?”

Cocking your head to the side, you glared at your brother.

“It’s not my fault.” Caspar held up his arms in surrender, “He fell asleep whenever I tried to explain.”

Sighing, you pinched the bridge of your nose and hurriedly recounted everything you knew about Kronos.

“So. Kronos is in three parts.” Ace pressed his hands together in an effort to understand.

You and Caspar groaned, “Yes,”

“You,” He pointed at Cas, “See the past.”

“Yes.”

“And you.” He pointed at you. “See the future.”

“Yes.”

Ace nodded his head slowly, “Okay...But what’s the big thing with Bla-”

Grimacing, you felt the beginning of major migraine forming, “Please don’t say his name. I get a headache whenever I hear it.”

“That’s odd even for us,” Caspar mused.

“Yeah, that’s what Mello said,” you mumbled, massaging your temple once more, “But my gut is telling me that he’s way too dangerous to be taken lightly.”

Ace shrugged, “So what’s the big deal with a gut feeling?”

“If Missy ever gets a gut feeling about anything, she’s usually bang on,” Zoro hummed, “Never been wrong so far.”

Sanji nodded, “So if  _ she  _ thinks something’s wrong, then you should treat that with some degree of alarm.”

“But still,” Caspar frowned, “Is this also about what you saw when you flicked Ace in the restaurant?”

You nodded, sucking in a breath.

Ace smirked, “So you saw my future eh? What did you see; me watching Pops become king of the pirates?”

Luffy didn’t even blink. He just stood there limply with wide eyes, staring right at Ace. You suspected that he already knew what you were going to say.

“Did I...get injured fighting Bl-”

Caspar glared at him.

“...fighting, uh, You-Know-Who?”

You shook your head.

Ace laughed, whipping his head around at everyone, “Okay...so it’s worse than that. I’m not really sure what to think then. Nothing else really can happen.”

No one met his gaze. Not even Luffy, whose eyes bore holes into the deck. You felt Caspar stiffen next to you.

Sucking in a breath, you slowly looked up to meet the Second Division Commander’s eyes, “I saw, or rather felt…”

“Yeah? Out with it already.”

“I saw you die, Ace.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Somehow, just somehow, I had a bit of free time in between packing, and was able to get this chapter out before I went! So you guys get an extra chapter that I wasn't expecting! :)  
> I just want to say another big thank you to everyone here for the support this has been getting, I am so happy so many people are commenting and reading this thing!  
> As I said in the announcement, I will be doing some editing for the earlier chapters when possible, so I can up the standard as much as I can. It's the least I can do for you guys. You're all awesome!  
> To end on a positive(ish) note, I was writing the chapter and suddenly a random thought popped into my head.  
> What if Ace and Caspar were a couple?  
> And it's a little hard to stop shipping them after that. I'm not even a fujiyoshi, but I really love the relationship they have with each other. Personally, I think they'd make a good pairing, but that might just be me.  
> You can love it, you can hate it, but I'm just throwing it out there.  
> #Cace


	26. Here's a little lesson in trickery...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't own one piece. Nothing changed over six weeks.

Wincing, you rubbed your tender skull, “Naaaaaami...Did you have to hit so hard?”

“Yes,” she growled, “Because if you had just told us something useful like, oh I don’t know, WE WERE MAKING A POINTLESS JOURNEY TO YUBA AND WE WOULD BE BETTER OFF STAYING IN NANOHANA, but noooooooooo the only thing you predicted was SAND. Well, guess what,” she gestured to the vast desert around you, “YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE SAND!”

You tsked, “I mentioned it in Nanohana, in case you’ve forgotten…”

The monotonous golden sand dunes were getting old fast. The dead tree in front of the group was the first interesting thing you’d seen for quite a while, and it didn’t even feel like you were getting any closer. Not that the haze rising off the sands helped at all. It would have been so much easier to cross if Carue was there, but he was off delivering a message to the palace in Alubarna.

You just hoped he could get there in time.

Caspar whistled, putting his arms behind his head, “Don’t be too harsh, it’s not like she really can control what she sees.”

“And besides,” Zoro grumbled, “It’s not like you’re doing any walking.”

Nami pouted from her seat on Eyelash the camel ( _ Eyelash, what a name _ ), “I don’t see what that’s got to do with it. The longer we’re out here, the faster our resources get used up, no thanks to a certain  _ someone _ ,” she glared at Luffy’s drooping form with disdain, “loosing our supplies to a bunch of  _ birds _ .”

Vivi chuckled nervously as she walked beside the camel, “Miss Nami, you should calm down...”

“Well on the bright side, me and Cas don’t really need anything,” You smirked, swinging your blissfully bare arms from side to side, “So at least there’s two fewer people to share between.”

_ “It’s ‘Caspar and I’, Missy. Please be more attentive with your grammar.” _

You tsked,  _ ‘Same thing.’ _

Usopp took another tired step forwards, sweltering under his desert robes. “Honestly, it’s not fair...you just get to walk about and do whatever, no matter where you go...what can’t you do?”

Caspar scratched his uncloaked head self-consciously, “It’s honestly kinda crazy what our limits are...I had no idea we don’t burn in the sun.”

“Yup,” You span on your heel to face him, “Not to mention we can go without water for two or three weeks, without food for four months, and are pretty much immune to any natural diseases.” Shrugging, you scratched your cheek sheepishly, “We’re not invincible though…Electricity  _ hurts _ .”

“I’m...not sure I want to find out just how you know all that stuff…”

“Trust me, you don’t wanna.”

Sanji grinned lecherously, “I’m just glad she’s still in that lovely outfit!”

Your brother growled at him.

“That’s all very well and good,” Ace grumbled, “but Cas, what are we still doing here? We need to go after Bla-”

“Aw c’mon!” A pair of arms wrapped their way around you, “First time meeting my little sister in, I dunno,  _ ever _ ! Lemme help her out at least!” He pouted, batting his eyes rapidly, “ _ Please _ ...”

Running a hand down his face, Ace sighed, “Fine…”

“HELL YEAH!” Cas sprinted over and knocked him over in an enthusiastic hug, “You’re the best, dude!”

“CAS GET THE HELL OFF ME!  _ DON’T MAKE ME BURN YOU AGAIN _ !”

Everyone chuckled for a while at the sight of the two Whitebeard pirates squabbling in the sand. You couldn’t blame them for being so tightly wound. Seeing Yuba and meeting Toto had been...depressing to say the least, not to mention Vivi’s recollections about how the country had lost faith in their king. And it wasn’t like fruitlessly trekking across a desert was wildly entertaining. Any attempt at humour was more than welcome.

And Ace…

You shot a look at the Commander, merrily ruffling Cas’ hair as he dragged him along.

_ ‘I saw you die.’ _

Quite surprisingly, Ace himself was the least affected by the news. Perhaps because he didn’t fully believe you. Perhaps because he thought too highly of his own abilities. Either way, he’d just laughed it off with a wave of his hand, never giving it a second thought.

_ “You were right to tell him.” _

You blinked, turning to your bracelet as it glinted in the hot sun,  _ ‘Was I though? It didn’t seem to do anything.’ _

_ “No,”  _ Mello chuckled,  _ “In some respects, it impacted the two people who have the greatest chance of stopping him.” _

Cocking your head in confusion, you turned to your captain. He’d been slightly more subdued than normal, and according to Sanji he hadn’t been eating as much as he normally would. Not that you would have noticed, the way he kept shoveling food down his throat. Looking at him now though, there was a set line in his face that just hadn’t been there before. But you couldn’t tell if this was because of your news, or the Civil War you were about to crash.

_ “True. That could have been mere speculation on my part. But what about Parelthon’s bearer?” _

It took you a lot longer than it really should have to figure that one out,  _ ‘What about Caspar?’ _

Your brother seemed fine to you. Unlike Luffy, he was still as bouncy and smart mouthed as ever. Then again, you remembered, you’d only known him for a few days.

_ “Precisely. However, I feel his act is more than a little bit forced. He’s too excitable.” _

Caspar, as if sensing your scrutiny, turned and waved jauntily.

_ ‘You have a point.’ _

_ “Of course I have a point!” _ He spluttered indignantly,  _ “As you should have realised by now, I raise many excellent points-” _

You giggled as Mello went off on yet another rant inside of your head. For a weapon that strictly speaking was about 900 years old, he could be quite endearing sometimes.

_ “I RESENT THAT STATEMENT!” _

“(y/n).”

The mutter was just low enough for only you to hear. You dipped your head, slowing your steps to match his, “What is it, Cap?”

His hat shielded his expression, “Do you still believe in what you said before.”

“Before?” You raised an eyebrow, “Which part?”

Luffy said nothing.

_ ‘Is he talking about Ace?’  _ Sucking in a breath, you nodded.

He straightened, “I see.”

You frowned, more than a little bit confused.

The skeletal tree, that a moment ago was so far away, was now passing the main group. Luffy sucked in a breath, before decidedly planting himself at the base. Sitting himself down, he lay back with his arms behind his head in what should have been a relaxed pose. Instead, it was tensed and brimming with pent up energy and emotion.

Stopping by the tree, you looked ahead at the rest of the group as they carried on. You weren’t sure what to do, or what you had done, “Uuh...Cap?”

Usopp, hearing your hesitation, turned behind. He bristled, “Oi Luffy, what the hell are you doing!?”

The rest halted in their tracks to turn back towards you.

Luffy closed his eyes, mouth pulled down into a look of dissatisfaction.

“Luffy?” Nami questioned as Sanji helped her down from Eyelash.

Everyone had stopped now. “What’s wrong, Mister Luffy?” Vivi stepped forwards, “Are you perhaps feeling unwell?”

“I quit.”

Jaws dropped.

“Quit?”

“Mister Luffy, what do you mean?”

Usopp groaned, “Come on, Luffy. We don’t have time to cater to your whims right now.”

“He’s right, Luffy.” Ace groaned, “Get up already. Your friends need you.”

 Chopper tilted his head, “We’re going back, aren’t we?”

“Damn straight we are!” Sanji pointed in the direction you were travelling in, “We’re going to retrace our path back to Katorea and stop the Rebel Army.” He stormed over to Luffy’s impassive face, “If 1 million of this country’s people clash, it’s all over y’know!?”

The words flipped a switch on inside your head.  _ ‘So that’s his game.’ _

Mello hummed,  _ “What should we do?” _

“I don’t care.” Luffy tossed Sanji to the side as if he weighed nothing.

“WHAT THE HELL’RE YOU DOING?!”

“Vivi.”

She recoiled at his serious tone, “Yes?”

Luffy’s brows furrowed, “I want to beat the crap out of  _ Crocodile _ !” He spat out the last word with disdain, “So what if we stop all those rebels; will Crocodile stop? Even if we reach Katorea, there’s nothing we can do. We’re pirates. You’re better off going there without us.”

_ “Impressive. It seems that occasionally he does have the capacity to think.” _

You hummed absentmindedly. You already knew that. Not sure how, but you did.

“That…” Vivi trembled forwards, “That isn’t…”

“All you want is for no one to die in this battle.” he continued, “You told (y/n) that back in Nanohana. Not the people of your country. Not any of us. You’re taking on a Warlord in a battle over a million people are preparing to fight in. And all you want is for no one to get hurt.” He sighed, opening his eyes to glare at the princess, “That’s naive.”

Vivi still shook, but you were sure that it wasn’t because of fear. Her eyes confirmed that, along with white knuckled fists.

“Wait Luffy,” Nami started as an attempt to diffuse the thick, thick tension, “can’t you try to understand Vivi’s feelings?”

Sanji instantly held his arm in front of her, “Nami-san, wait.”

“I think...he understands them perfectly,” you mumbled. She stared at you incredulously.

The purple hood that shielded the princess’ face from the sun slid back, “What’s wrong with that!? What’s wrong with not wanting anyone to die?”

“People die.”

It was only a quiet murmur, but by the expression on Vivi’s face you would have thought he’d screamed the words at her. You saw the slap coming, even though your companions reacted with various degrees of shock.

Luffy didn’t dodge though.

“Stop talking like that!” She pleaded, shaking her head to get the idea out. Shoulders heaving, she stood over Luffy’s prone body in the sands, “I’m not going to let you say that again! That’s exactly what we’re trying to prevent! Not the rebel army, not the royal army; no one in this country is at fault! So why does anyone have to die!?”

You twitched, wanting to say how over a thousand people die each day and there was nothing she could do to stop death. But this wasn’t your fight.

She hunched over, gritting her teeth in pure hatred, “It’s all  _ Crocodile’s  _ fault!”

A rubber fist connected with her face.

“Then why are YOU risking your life!?” He stumbled to his feet, hat long since knocked off.

“Oi Luffy, that’s going too far!”

“Dammit, Luffy! Why’d you hit her!”

You smirked.

Vivi prodded the tender skin experimentally, before flying at Luffy and pinning him to the ground.

He didn’t even flinch, “From looking at this country, what needs to be done most…”

“WHAT OF IT?!” She screeched, punching and slapping his face like a cornered animal.

“...is even clear...to an idiot like me!”

The girl clenched her eyes shut, shaking her head. Not wanting to hear it. Hiding.

“You think risking your one life is going to be enough!?”

“Then what am I supposed to risk!? What am I-”

Luffy caught her arms before they stuck him. He stared at her.

She deflated, all her fight gone, “I have nothing else to risk… _ Nothing _ ...”

He grimaced, throwing her off him, “Try risking our lives along with yours! WE’RE YOUR FRIENDS!”

Vivi’s face drained of colour as she brought her hand to her mouth. Wide brown eyes began to water.

“We’re your friends, aren’t we?” He sighed, dusting off his straw-hat, “So you do cry…”

His answer was a piercing wail. She hid her snivelling face in her hands as Nami rushed over to comfort her. You moved forward to do the same, before hesitating. 

_ ‘She probably still hates me from Nanohara.’ _

“You’re the one suffering the most, and you want to beat the hell out of him more than anyone.”

_ “Perhaps… But judging by the boy’s argument, that would be because you’re too lax about your own safety.” _

You straightened, making eye contact with each of your crew in turn.

They inclined their heads. Something had changed. The mission was the same, but the air was different. Even  _ Usopp  _ looked almost heroic. Everyone had become prepped for a fight.

And so, it seemed, did the two Whitebeard pirates. Ace’s usually relaxed posture was nowhere to be seen; it had morphed into something straighter, more alert. More tensed. Cas, unknowingly or not, shifted his position to stand behind him. A second in command awaiting orders. His eyes were unfocused, you guessed he was talking to Parel.

Vivi suddenly remembered they were there, “You don’t have to, we’re not friends...”

“Oh we are,” Ace declared cooly, “There aren’t that many people out there who care as much as you do. Even fewer royals.” He pulled down his hat, “It would be wrong to let a royal family like this one get snuffed out.”

Cas grimaced, “It’d be a disgrace to our honour as Whitebeard pirates if we just left you now.”

“Besides,” The fire user smirked, “My little brother is a great judge of character. Any friend of his is a friend of mine.”

“And I just follow the Hot Head,” your brother giggled.

Luffy nodded, slamming his hat on his head, “Now, Vivi, tell me. Where is Crocodile?”

* * *

“Now (y/n), I love you an’ all, but why are we back here and out of the action?” Caspar moaned, resting his head on his hands as he reclined back behind the crates. “I wanna do shit!”

Ace rolled his eyes down at him, “He’s got a point though, for all his whining. The others went to Rainbase to face Crocodile already, but we’re stuck in Nanohana.”

You pinched your nose as you leant around your hiding spot, “I told you already. I got a gut feeling that something was going to happen here.”

“A gut feeling? Not even a prediction? Ha!”

“Well to be fair on (y/n), it’s hardly as if we needed to come with her.”

“I can’t let my sister take on...whatever this is alone! Even if it’s a ‘gut feeling’ it could be something dangerous. Besides, we need the bonding time.”

“The bonding time. Are you serious?”

A sigh. “You’re just jealous I ruined your efforts to impress Luffy.”

“ _ Excuse me _ !?”

You whipped your head around, “I can’t believe  _ I’m  _ being the mature one, but can you keep it down? We’re  _ trying  _ to hide here.”

Cas waved his hands, “ _ He _ started it.”

Ace snorted derisively.

_ “Kronos help us we’re surrounded by idiots.” _

_ ‘Agreed. _ ’ You perked up when your ears picked up metal clinking, “Heads up everyone.”

Cas gleefully flipped onto his feet in an instant, reaching for his headband. Ace flexed his fingers in anticipation as he moved behind you.

“So, (y/n),” Cas whispered as the armoured people marched on in droves, “from your memories, I take it these are the Alabastan Royal Guard, correct?”

Ace frowned questioningly, before deciding not to ask.

You inclined your head, “That’s what it looks like.”

A shout rose up from ahead, “MAKE WAY FOR THE KING!”

“Now I don’t know much about war strategy or politics,” Cas mused, “but I take it that he’s not supposed to be here.”

Ace tilted his hat up, “It  _ is _ a little odd that a King would abandon his palace during a time of civil war...”

“Especially without the Tsumegeri Guards, Chaka  _ or  _ Pell,” you agreed, “A king would never take an escort of just regular guards on a good day.”

Cas nodded, “So what now?”

“Now,” Ace motioned upwards, “we follow them.”

The problem with desert countries, you thought, was that their rooftops were severely lacking when it came to hiding places. The large, colourful domes helped a bit, but you felt naked without any shade to disappear into. It did make tracking the commotion a little easier, though.

Ace cursed as he crouched over the edge, “That’s a lot of guards for a royal escort too…(y/n) was right, this situation  _ screams  _ that something’s wrong.”

“And you boys doubted me,” you rolled your eyes, focusing on the figure in purple robes standing at the head of the platoon as he addressed the crowd in front of him.

A bespectacled man gasped, “Y-your Majesty…”

“What…,” a vendor in purple sweated slightly, “did you say…?”

“You heard correctly.” The dark haired man stated, “I have a sincere apology to make. It was I who stole this country’s rain; the King of Alabasta, Cobra!”

“That’s not Cobra,” you and Mello mumbled in unison.

The two Whitebeard Pirates stared at you in surprise.

“Are you sure?” Cas frowned, “Because it sure looks like him…”

“He doesn’t speak the same way. Too flamboyant.”

Ace’s eyes widened in realisation, “Baroque Works have someone who can mimic what people look like…”

“Shit!” Cas gripped the end of his headband, “Then we need to go down there-”

You held out your hand to stop him, looking your brother right in the eyes, “Do you guys trust me?”

The looked at each other in confusion, before nodding.

“Then stay out of sight,” you commanded as you leapt into a nearby alleyway.

Cas growled, “(y/n)!”

But by then you were stepping out into the crowd.

_ “I take it you have some sort of plan?” _

_ ‘A vague one,’  _ you conceded as you pushed past a weeping mother and child,  _ ‘But it relies too much on if Benny’s personality has remained the same for seven years. And if it even  _ is _ Benny; it could be someone else.’ _

Mello thought on this for a moment,  _ “It’s the best we’ve got without starting a fight.” _

You hummed in agreement, before stepping out into the ‘king’s’ eye line.

A glimmer of recognition flashed through his steely eyes, and his lips twitched as if they wanted to smile with glee.

Which was very telling, considering you’d never met Nefertari Cobra; and even if he had heard of you, smiling would be the last thing he’d do.

You smirked,  _ ‘So it is Bentham.’ _

_ “Yes, but he’s hardly running to you with open arms.” _ Mello scoffed,  _ “That part was a little far fetched.” _

Lowering your head, you made a circling movement with a finger somewhere Bentham couldn’t see.

Judging by the movement from the rooftops, they’d figured out what you’d meant. Great, that made your life easier.

A crooked grin suddenly split the face of the ‘king’, “Ah yes, my loyal assassin, how excellent of you to join us.”

Your jaw twitched.

His ‘guards’ grinned, evidently knowing your role in Baroque Works’ hierarchy.

The crowd parted instantly, leaving murmurs in their wake.

“T-that’s Missy Sai!!”

“She’s working for the king?!”

“Isn’t she worth 200,000,000 bellies?”

Everything you’ve heard before. You sighed, moving to take a step forwards.

“No, her bounty changed a couple of weeks ago. She’s worth 400,000,000 now.”

You almost fell flat on your face. ‘ _ WHAT?!’ _

Mello grimaced.

_ ‘400,000,000...Isn’t that a little excessive?! 200,000,000 was high enough, so  _ double  _ that...’ _

_ “They’re getting worried.” _ he mused, thinking quickly, _ “You’ve become a member of a pirate crew, so they’re assuming, and correctly so, that you’ve told them everything.” _

Your jaw twitched, but you continued forwards towards the false king,  _ ‘So it probably was…’ _

_ “That slip of paper Crocus had, correct.” _

_ ‘And we didn’t know because we were inside Laboon when the bounty was issued.’ _

_ “That’s most likely.” _

By now you were face to false face with Bentham.  _ ‘Plan B.’ _

_ “You had a plan B?!” _

You ignored him, instead plastering a look of calm worry over your face. Which, for once, didn’t look fake. The bounty had been a surprise, but it meant your expression was genuine.

After all, you knew full well that you sucked at lying. Which meant that you were going to have to get through this with a lot of half-truths.

_ “We’re doomed.” _

You leant by Bentham’s ear, “Sorry for joining you late, but I’ve got news from the Boss.” You frowned, “Bad news.”

He stiffened, raising a hand to the public, “Please, I will properly give my apology in just a short moment, I must listen to this first.” Motioning to the ‘guards’, he kept his eyes on you as the many armoured bodies shielded you from view.

As soon as the last person fixed into place, the stern faced king broke out into a massive grin and enveloped you into a hug, “AAAAAAAAAH! Missy-girl, it’s been too long!” Stepping back, Bentham pouted at you, “But I thought you were with the Straw-hats…Mister Three said he hadn’t seen you at all...”

Damn, so he had survived. You grimaced, again a natural emotion, “I was with this idiot who  _ said  _ he was Mister Three, but really was one of the Straw-hats. We rang the boss together, and I thought I would be travelling with him to Alabasta.” That was true.

_ ‘Sorry Sanji for calling you an idiot.’ _

“Crocy  _ did  _ say that he had been given a false report in Little Garden…” Bentham gasped, “But I was on their ship! And I didn’t see you-I could have rescued you!”

Ah. This was getting a lot harder than you’d thought it would be, “I was...kept out of sight.” Kind of true. “But once I was off the ship I set off as fast as I could to find you guys.” Eh, that one was pushing it a bit.

But it looked like it had worked. Wiggling his hips to the side, Bentham clasped his hands to his face, “Oh, how hooooooorrible~! You poor thing! But you’re here now,” he winked, giving a thumbs up, “So tell us your report from the Boss, Miss Hallows Eve.”

So he bought it so far. But the hardest part was still to come.

“You need to head back to Rainbase as soon as possible,” you murmured, doing your best to keep a straight face, “The Straw-hats and the princess are storming Rain Diners as we speak, and the Boss needs reinforcements.” You  _ hoped _ that one was true.

Bentham wasn’t convinced, “But I was given a mission here...”

“Then hurry it up,” you growled, “Since  _ you _ know our orders after tha-”

You span to the side to avoid a pointed kick to the stomach.

“And the Boss said that Rain Diners was a decoy.” Mister Two Bon Kurei narrowed his eyes in horror, “Which means that you’re lying, you naughty girl.”

Instantly, many pointed blades turned in on you and a gun barrel nudged the back of your head.

You sighed, “Well that’s just great. And here I wanted to give you a nice surprise-”

“Yes, well it’s absolutely lovely to see you again, Missy-girl, but I have a job to do.”

“Especially,” you smirked, “After I went to so much trouble as to finding out where your Queen was…”

_ ‘Plan C.’ _

Mello chuckled as the Okama’s face slackened,  _ “It seems that I’ve finally rubbed off on you, Missy.” _

You smirked, feeling a wave of pride well up inside of you.

“Y-y-you found Queen Iva?!” At once the King’s face was dropped, and Bentham’s usual makeup coated face beamed down at you as he shakily gripped your shoulders, “Wha...How...WHERE?!”

“The how doesn’t matter.” You’d combed those prisoner files for ages trying to find anything, “I made a promise to you the last time we met. I wanted to make good on it.”

He picked you up and span you around in a circle, “Oh you fabulous, amazing, wondrous, gentle, stupendous-”

“Uuh...put me  _ down  _ Benny…” Dusting yourself off as he set you down, you wagged a finger at him, “But seriously, your chances aren’t that good. He’s in Impel Down; level 5 if I remember correctly.”

Bentham gaped, and instantly pirouetted in panic, “But  _ why _ ?! Our precious Queen is nothing short of an  _ aaaaaangel _ , there was no reason for her capture!”

_ “Other than Ivankov’s association with the Revolutionary Army, an organisation that’s primary goal is to overthrow the World Government and end all political oppression. That, I feel, is a sufficient reason, is it not?” _

You snorted.

At this point the fake guards were glancing at their leader anxiously, not knowing what to think.

Which was exactly what you’d hoped for.

“Th-THE KING TRANSFORMED!” A young boy staggered back from the circle of ‘guards’, “HE BECAME A WEIRD BALLERINA!”

Bentham’s expression froze as he slowly turned towards you.

You raised a finger, “Now in my defence, I can’t lie. So it isn’t  _ really  _ my fault...”

“He-he-HE TRICKED US!”

“But yeah, it sorta is…” You grinned, “So how have you been?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another chapter!! It felt so good to get this out, and quite frankly I'm amazed I wrote this so fast.
> 
> On another note, I received my very first fanart! It was posted by 'roseilles' for Broken Faith, but I thought I should mention it here. I'm planning on doing a fanart compilation for both my stories on Quotev (I also post there; I'll add the link here once it's made if you want to check it out), and will start making a cover as soon as I post this. I love seeing how people interpret the characters, so if you want to send anything please do! It can be anything related to the stories, be it the characters, the scenes, or any ships you favour.
> 
> Send anything to sagidraconis@gmail.com, and I might even add some of my own stuff!
> 
> I look forward to see what you guys think of the coming chapters, as well as Missy's new bounty, and thanks again for waiting so long for a new chapter, you have no idea what it means to hear your support!
> 
> Also did anyone get the title? No? Oh okay then, I'll go back into my writer hole now...


	27. The Dreamweaver

“Th-THE KING TRANSFORMED!” A young boy staggered back from the circle of ‘guards’, “HE BECAME A WEIRD BALLERINA!”

Bentham’s expression froze as he slowly turned towards you.

You raised a finger, “Now in my defence, I can’t lie. So it isn’t _really_ my fault...”

“He-he-HE TRICKED US!”

“But yeah, it sorta is…” You grinned, “So how have you been?"

And once again you were encircled by those bladed spear things ( _‘Fan axes! That’s what they’re called!’)_

“You tricked us,” one of the fake guards growled, jabbing his axe ( _“Are you confident those are axes?”_ ) further into your back. In doing so, the drapes covering his shoulder shifted to reveal the familiar colours of Baroque Works's logo.

You pouted, “Well no, but really yes...”

Another guard gulped, “Uuuuh...Mister Two Bon Kurei sir...what should we do…?”

“Hmmmmmmm……I’m not sure……”

“Well I do,” An agent hefted a shotgun to eye level, aiming at the boy, “We do what we came here to do.” His finger tensed on the trigger.

The boy recoiled. He tried to run but it looked like his legs shook too much. 

You moved before they could so much as blink. Amist cries of alarm, you ducked under the poles of the fan axes and sprinted through the sea of legs. You had just reached the boy and scooped him into your arms when the crackle of a gunshot filled the air.

You smirked, ignoring the sudden heat seeping through the sleeve of your dancer costume, “Oh you really shouldn’t have done that…”

“Why?” The one with the gun grunted, “What’s a girly like you gonna do?”

Bentham clutched at his shoulders frantically, “YOU’VE GOT NO IDEA WHAT SHE’S LIKE!”

“Nah, _I’m_ not the one you should be worried about…”

“WHO WAS THE BASTARD-”

At once more cracks split the air. But it wasn’t gunfire. This sounded more like the air itself was snapping.

“ _WHO SHOT MY SISTER_?!”

A fireball erupted from close behind, “You don’t know if she was the one who was shot, you idiot!”

"IT WAS HER! I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES!”

“Uuuuh...Cas?”

More cracks, accompanied with wails and screams. To the side, a building collapsed. Neatly sliced in two.

“ _CAS_! CAREFUL WITH THAT THING!”

“Uh...they can deal with them. Maybe,” you sighed, turning back to the boy, “Now then, what’s your name, kid?”

He glared at you.

You sweatdropped, “I mean sure, it's not like I saved your life or anything...” Noticing a flighty couple staring at the boy with worry etched into their faces, you jerked a thumb at them. “Those your folks?”

They twitched as your finger rested on them.

Hesitating for a moment, he nodded.

You made to step forwards.

As one, the citizens flinched.

Oh.

Setting the boy down, you put a hand on his shoulder before he could run off, “What you did was brave, and may have just averted a war.” You grinned, crouching down to rub his head fondly, “You should feel proud of yourself, kid! That was pretty cool!”

_“Oh pish posh! He did nothing!”_

_‘Without him, the plan wouldn’t have worked...so I think he deserves it. Also...‘pish posh’?!’_

_“I was frustrated.”_

Jaw gaping, the boy looked up at you with shining eyes.

You smiled kindly, eyes hopefully looking calm and gentle and betraying nothing, _'PISH POSH?! Mello you really…'_ You trailed off as a wave of heat erupted from behind you.

Something had changed in the air.

The flaming wall crackled deceptively merrily, but couldn't quite mask the piercing screams from behind.

Something...bad.

You stood slowly, "You'd better get back to your parents, kid…" Not waiting to see if he did as you asked, you sprinted towards the flaming wall.

As you approached it parted dutifully, before snapping tightly behind. 

Ace’s voice echoed next to you, but you didn’t turn to him, “Sorry about that, it's just... _Cas_ ,” His breath hitched, “It's...well...He’s...completely lost it. I just wanted to protect the citizens from... _this_.”

You felt like someone had punched you in the mental gut.

All the agents had been incapacitated; that you had expected. What you didn’t anticipate was the way they were all _screaming_ and scrambling around on the ground. Walking above one of them, you noticed his eyes had unfocused.

“N-n-n-noo! D-uh-don’t leave meee...” He latched onto your hand like a safety line, “I won’t drink again...just please stay… _please_ Becky...”

Delusional. He was delusional. You frantically disentangled yourself, before staring blankly at the chaos.

A minute ago, these agents were prepared to shoot a child in cold blood.

What a change had occurred.

Many of them were near catatonic, burbling nonsense and snatching frantically at their own faces. A few just lay collapsed on the ground, chests heaving with gulping sobs. But the worst were those who didn’t say anything, just curled into balls with tears dribbling past their petrified faces.

Their eyes, they were _too_ familiar for comfort.

A living hell. 

Your head turned, “What happened?”

"Isn't it obvious," Ace sighed, sweat slowly dripping down his brow. Whether that was from maintaining his wall or out of worry, you couldn't tell. He turned to you over his shoulder, “ _Cas_ happened.”

Your face slackened. Your brother? The over excited happy person from earlier? The one who complained he was bored?

Ace tilted his head down, raising another hand to feed his wall. The extreme shadow cut through his expression, rendering it unreadable, “It’s...never been this bad before. _Never_ . And we’ve gone through hell and back. Really. But I can’t move from the barrier, so I-I-I can’t…” He sucked in a breath, “Please... _help him_ …I think you're the only one who can right now.”

 _Kronos_ , he sounded so lost.

You clapped a hand on his shoulder, "You're a good friend, Ace. He doesn't deserve you."

He snorted, smiling despite himself, "Oh that idiot's helped me through worse patches than this-but I swear," His jaw tensed, "this time he just _snapped_."

"I know." Nodding, your eyes narrowed, "I guess this really is my fault for being dumb and getting hit. I’ll sort this out."

 _“I had hoped Parelthon wouldn’t let him go this far…”_ Mello muttered in disgusted awe, _“But then again, she’s always been one for rash thinking.”_

Grimacing, you glanced down suspiciously at the bracelet.

Mello sighed, _"Just, look. You'll understand soon."_

Your feet moved by themselves, taking you further and further into the smoky haze. Broken garbles and disjointed mumbles echoed all around you.

Oh, the _mumbling_ . It was horrifying just how _familiar_ it felt. It really took you back six years. Fifteen years that you never wanted to experience again.

“I didn’ _mean_ to; I swear! Jus’ don’ kill my Benny...”

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’ms-”

“So many... _why are there so many_ …”

“Go away...I don’ wanna remember…”

 _‘Remember?_ ’

You grimaced as it dawned on you.

“They’re experiencing their pasts…”

Mello fell silent. _“Correct. And from their reactions...I would expect that what they are currently viewing are the things that they’d rather wish they forgot.”_

“The Dreamweaver. That’s his epithet, isn't it.” You barked out a humourless laugh, “Appropriate.”

Head snapping up, you scanned the firelit scene for Cas.

He wasn’t that hard to find, being the only figure with enough sanity remaining to stand on their feet. Not that _that_ really said anything in this situation.

He was tired, that much was evident by the slow heaving of his shoulders. But even so, he raised his arm once more to strike the limp man in his grasp.

However emotionally unstable you were, you still noticed something was off, _‘Remind me Mello, what is Parel supposed to be again?’_

He frowned, _“A blowgun if I remember correctly.”_

 _‘Well.’_ Your eyes trailed down the thin black whip glinting in the firelight, _‘That’s not a blowgun.’_

_“Indeed.”_

Cas’ head whipped round as you shuffled closer. His eyes widened, "(y)-(y/n)?! You're alright, yeah?"

“Yeah.” You clenched your fists as the initial horror faded. Rage kindled in your gut.

A smile flickered weakly across his face. “Oh thank Kronos, I was so worried.”

The man dropped to the ground with a thud. It was hard to tell with all the bloody lines slashed into his face, but you were confident it was the guard who’d shot you. It had to be. He looked like the only one who’d been actually targeted. He had the most slashes cut into his skin.

A foot smashed onto his face, "It was your fault!" Cas hissed, "You...you _hurt_ her, and she doesn't deserve to be hurt any more!"

You glared at your brother, “We’ve established that I’m okay already, so you can stop now.”

“Stop?” He stared at you with disbelief as his boot twisted into the already destroyed face, rubbing it into the dust, “ _Stop_?! HE SHOT YOU! WITH A GUN!”

“And I’m fine.” Pushing aside the silky drapes that made up your top, you pointed to the fresh skin, “See; already healed.”

His arm twitched, “But you still hurt...you felt pain...”

“Pain?!” You scoffed, "Please, don't insult me. I've felt way worse."

"So, you shouldn't ever feel that way again. An-an-and I _need_ to protect you-"

"I'm fine, Cas."

“Fine…” Cas stumbled towards you, all his anger deflated, “You’re fine…finefinefine...you're...fine…” Trembling arms slowly inched around yo-

Your hand whipped across his face.

He gaped, completely losing his balance and collapsing to the ground.

“Do you...have _any_ idea what you’ve done?” Moving forwards, you enveloped him in an embrace, “No one should ever feel like that, bad guy or not.” You pointed at yourself, “I know how scarring memories can be. Hell, _you_ know how scarring they can be after reading mine. And you still put them through that...I mean you could have…”

You held your head in your hands, leaving the unspoken hanging in thick, smokey air. Not that you really needed to say it. How their minds could have completely broken, never to be repaired. How close that could have been, and how irreversible the damage was.

His eyes finally unclouded as he properly took in his surroundings for the first time. He clasped both hands to his mouth, the whip moving to wind around his head to form his headband from earlier, “Oh _Kronos_ ...I’m sorry I was just…so _angry_ …I’m sorry Parel... (y/n)... Ace-” he jolted his head up abruptly, “Shit, Ace! Did I do anything to-”

“He’s fine too.”

Cas visibly sagged, “Good. Th-that’s good. I dunno what I’d do if I’d...y’know...”

“I know,” you smiled, getting to your feet.

He took your outstretched hand a little hesitantly, but still pulled himself off the ground.

Elbowing him, you gestured to his head band, “So what’s the deal with the whip.”

He smirked despite himself, “You really need to ask? A blow gun is a bit old fashioned for a popular guy like me, so I gave it a revamp.”

“You? Popular?” You rolled your eyes as you sauntered back towards Ace’s silhouette, “As if!” 

The figure straightened in relief and snapped his fingers to slowly dissipate the wall. Instantly he started to jog towards you.

“Is that any way to talk to your big bro?” A glove clad hand slung itself over your shoulders, “I’ve got a bounty of 500,000,000 y’know, and Ace has one of 550,000,000.”

“Aww, you beat me…” Even so, you smiled. _‘He’s perked back up again at least.’_

Mello hummed absentmindedly as Ace caught up with you and swiftly grabbed Cas for a playful but worried noogie.

_‘What’s on your mind, Mel?’_

_“It’s Parelthon,”_ The bracelet shifted its position slightly, _“I’m just a little concerned about her. To be precise...her lack of restraint...”_

 _‘What do you…’_ You trailed off as a large shadow swiftly started to rise on the horizon, “Uh...guys?”

Cas wiggled out of Ace’s headlock. Twisting round, he leapt gleefully onto Ace’s shoulders.

“Guys?”

Ace chuckled menacingly, letting his torso suddenly morph into flames.

“Guuuys…”

Cas shrieked as he fell through his friend’s body.

_“Oh sweet Kronos…”_

“GUYS!”

Angry that their spat had paused, they glared at you expectantly.

“Sooo,” You pointed at the large shape casually, “Either I’m hallucinating, or that’s a large ship about to crush us all...which is it?”

Cas’ face paled as he scrambled to his feet, “HOLY _SHIT_ THAT THING’S HUGE!”

“(y/n)...tell us when stuff’s about to kill us next time!”

“I just did.”

“Ha ha, _you know exactly what I meant_!” Ace sprinted forwards, igniting flames in his palms.  Both you and Cas followed not far behind. “I’m gonna try and burn that thing to cinders; Cas, (y/n), help evacuate the citizens.”

“Aye sir.”

“Sure thing Hot Stuff.”

Cas slapped you over the head.

“Sorry not sorry.”

“DAMMIT!” He gritted his teeth, scooping a bawling child under his arm as he ran.

The child took one look at you.

You grinned encouragingly, “We’re gonna find your parents, don’t worry.

Crying intensified.

 _‘I was afraid of this.’_ You groaned, slowing to a stop, “Cas, I’m gonna have to step out of this one. The citizens, they’re...” You couldn’t finish the sentence as a sharp pang ran through your gut.

His rhythm faltered a little, but he kept moving forwards, “Do what you can, then.”

You nodded pensively at his retreating figure. _‘But what_ can _I do? I’m more of a hack ‘n slash person myself so...’_

If Mello had eyes, he would have rolled them, _“(Whilst I would most definitely appreciate eyes at some point, now is not the time.) Missy, consider the matter at hand in full. You’re more versatile than you give yourself credit for.”_

You didn’t really believe him, but hey. He had a point.

The Baroque Works agents incapacitated by your brother still lay moaning on the floor. Bentham had vanished, you grimly noted, but it wasn’t worth chasing after him now. If he was anything like the person you met long ago, he was long gone already.

Ace had the incoming ship handled. He wasn’t a second division commander of the Whitebeard Pirates for nothing. So you couldn’t really do much to help him out.

Unless… Your eyes widened as intense heat flicked your back. Turning, you winced almost instantly and had to throw up your arms in front of your face.

Ace was fine. He could handle it.

_“Really Missy? Take a closer look.”_

_‘Sure, I really wanted to fry my eyes today.’_ Even so, you lowered your arms. You weren’t kidding, you could practically feel your eyeballs sweating. It wasn’t the heat, but the light. So blinding. But it made the falling debris much easier to spot.

Hang on...debris…?

_“Shall we?”_

You smirked, twirling the scythe into your hands, “You really need to work on your attitude.”

Mello gasped comically, _“_ Me _? Never.”_

“Mellontas, Cannon!” As you shot through the air, you quickly surveyed the blackened lumps falling towards the panicked civilians. Most were just unburnt scraps of wood, broken off before properly disintegrated. You used Mello to cut those into tiny flakes that blew away with the wind.

You latched onto a shop awning, using your acceleration downwards to catapult you back into the sky.

Your nose twitched. Something stank, and no that wasn’t metaphorical. It was as if the entire town of Nanohana was having a barbeque…using out of date meat.

_“To your left.”_

Using Mello to propel yourself off another building, you collided with the smoking lump and skidded with it onto a roof.

 _‘Well,’_ your nose wrinkled as some baked flesh slowly slid off the corpse’s body, _‘I guess we’ve found the source of the smell.’_

 _“Indeed.”_ Mello hummed, fixing back into bracelet form to conserve energy, _“But at least he was already deceased.”_

You nodded, rubbing a finger of some deep cuts that hadn’t quite burnt off, _‘This is done by professionals. At least that means that it’s unlikely anyone was alive before Ace lit the whole thing up like a bonfire.’_

_“That implies that this soaring boat is no accident...This was staged, most likely by Baroque Works judging by the professionalism.”_

You reflexes made you reach up and grab something before it hit you on the head, _‘I love seeing the future sometimes.’_

_“You see? Versatile.”_

Giggling at his intense tone, you bought your arm down to see what you’d caught. “Well well well,” you whistled lowly, “ _this_ … is interesting.”

“Is it to your liking, Miss Hallows Eve?”

You did your best to not react to the cool female voice, “Not really. Semi-automatic Seaking Alexanders are hella cheap as is, but this particular make takes the biscuit. You’re gonna get a lot of barrel failures with these, Miss...”

“Doublefinger.” Clacking heels cooly stepped up behind you, along with a more heavyweight plod.

“The Mister One pair, come to see little old me.” You glanced over your shoulder, “I’m flattered.”

Miss Doublefinger laughed, humour not really reaching her dark green eyes. Everything about her screamed slick, from her curvaceous body to her tight, revealing outfit to her accentuated hip swinging as she walked...but that couldn’t really be called a walk.

_“Sashay?”_

_‘No idea what that means but I like the sound of it.’_

The only part of her that broke her tidy persona was the cloud of deep blue friz that haloed her head. You winced. That looked a pain to brush.

Her partner on the other hand reminded you of Zoro. The same self confidence flickered in his eyes, and it was clear from his bulking form that he wasn’t unused to fighting. Mister One, like his lesser counterparts, had his number on his person. Literally. An archaic character for ‘one’ was literally tattooed on his chest. Because that was _smart_.

You reached for Mello, certain that there was going to be a fight. There had to be; you’d just foiled Bentham’s plans. Not to mention that they almost definitely know that you were part of Luffy’s crew.

“Why so tense?” Miss Doublefinger crooned, “We’re not going to hurt you. In fact, we’re here to congratulate you.”

Both you and Mello blinked. “Huh?”

Mister One raised his monobrow, “You’ve completed your mission.”

“I have…?!”

“Yes, dear. You couldn’t have done it more stylishly if you’d tried.”

_‘Mello?’_

_“I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT’S GOING ON EITHER!”_

“Convincing the citizens that you were hired by the king was a stroke of genius,” Doublefinger gritted her teeth, swinging her hip to the other side, “I’m impressed that your _partner_ went along with it.”

 _‘Oooh…’_ You nodded enthusiastically, “I wasn’t sure that he’d follow my lead, but it all turned out well in the end.”

“And you used the two Whitebeard pirates to distribute our guns further than we would’ve otherwise. Just one thing,” he narrowed his eyes, “Did you have to eliminate the billions?”

“Uuuuuh…”

“Of course she did,” his partner snapped, “To keep up appearances with the Whitebeards and the Strawhats. How could you be so foolish, Mister One. That sort of thing is second nature to us assassins.”

_“If only she knew just how ‘adept’ you were at infiltration…”_

You nodded thoughtfully, _‘It went down so bad that I’m not even gonna yell at you for bringing that up.’_

He sniggered.

Mister One dipped his head, “I see. Bounty Hunters are different.”

_‘Mop boy’s brother from another mother!’_

_“Yes, there definitely are some similarities.”_

Clapping your hands together, you smiled as sheepishly as you could, “So what now then? Be...uh...Mister Two Bon Kurei ran off without me, so I dunno what to do about this development.”

“Just as well we were in the area,” Miss Doublefinger purred, “Plans have changed. We’ve heard that the Straw-hats are planning to attack via Alubarna’s western gate, but I feel that the Boss has a different mission for you.”

You stiffened, “What sort of different?”

Her smirk doubled in size, “The sort only an Ancient Weapon can provide, _Kronos_.”


	28. The plot thickens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own One Piece. If I did, I wouldn't need a reason to write fanfic (but probably would anyways).

"AAAAAAHH!" You shrieked as you doubled over, "What're we gonna do, Mello?! We're screwed!"

_"Missy."_

Leaning back in the alleyway, you frantically scratched your head, "They actually know we're part of an Ancient Weapon!"

A sigh, _"Missy…"_

You abruptly halted, "If you're gonna tell me just how deep the shit we're in, Mello, don't bother. I know already."

_"You seem emotionally distressed."_

"Uh, hello?! The world's about to discover just how freaky I am, which will be yet _another_ thing they hold against me, OF COURSE I'M EMOTIONALLY DISTRESSED," you groaned, digging nails into your scalp, "How the hell did they _know_? I thought the World Government wanted that hushed up!"

He hummed pensively, _"You have a point, I'm curious about that as well. What worries me, however, is how those two Agents trusted us implicitly. I would have suspected them to be more cautious than they acted."_

That made you think, "Point. I thought they were professionals, but they just walked off expecting me to go to Crocodile's side of my own accord. They even gave us a lift to Alubarna on the back of that turtle thing."

_"They even made it seem as though they were doing us a favour."_

"Yeah exactly. And let's face it, my alibi was super weak. But they still bought it." You tapped your chin, "Something's off...really off..." Squaring your shoulders, you marched out of the narrow alleyway, "But I've gotta do something to help Vivi. We may have stopped the full force of the rebels, but I'm still pretty confident there are gonna be some Baroque Works grunts mixed in to cause a conflict."

 _"That is quite a high possibility."_ Mello's form loosened, and the bracelet began unwinding into the familiar weapon, _"Crocodile's already proven that he has sufficiently high strategic capabilities. If he truly wanted to succeed, planting moles is guaranteed."_

"So what now?" You skipped forwards a couple of paces to avoid a neatly cut slab that collapsed from the bridge above you, "Good grief...Mop-boy's really going at it huh? At least I hope that's Mop-boy." Your lip curled upwards, "Guess I've gotta get a move on. Shall we do the usual?"

 _"That would be recommended."_ Mello extended upwards to get a better view. _"The clock tower appears to be a good vantage point, second only to the palace itself."_

"Perfect."

Mello launched you without you telling him to. Using the air time to your advantage, you quickly scanned the ground to try and find where the others were. Another bridge got shredded behind you, which you really hoped was Mop-boy. You didn't want to think about what would happen if your enemies had that sort of destructive power.

Chopper and Usopp were nowhere to be seen, yet come to think of it there had been some sort of commotion outside the walls… But maybe you were being optimistic. Two separate clouds of dust rose into the air on opposite sides of the city. Your eyes narrowed. That was probably Sanji and Nami. Hopefully. Luffy, if everything had been going to plan, would be at the palace with Vivi kicking Crocodile's butt.

But when did anything ever got to plan?

And everywhere, simply everywhere, the clashes and yells of armed combat echoed through you. It seemed what you'd done in Nanohana hadn't been quite enough to stop the rebels.

Gritting your teeth, you said nothing as you pointed Mello towards the clock tower. He took the hint and extended towards it, connecting with a solid clunk. Before you'd realised it, the clock face on the tower rocketed towards you. 

"Ah shit."

Glass shattered everywhere, splintering into little scratches on your skin. Part of your trousers tore, leaving a flapping piece of fabric gusting around your ankle.

You groaned, "We really should have thought that through a little better…"

_"Agreed."_

"Ribbit ribbit ribbit, what do we have here Mr Seven?"

You recoiled, "Is someone really saying ribbit? Like...seriously?!"

_"How vulgar."_

You looked around for the voice, but was met by an obstacle, " _Kronos_ that's a cannon…Why the hell did it need to be so big..."

"Oh, it appears to be Miss Hallows Eve, Miss Father's Day," a high pitched nasal voice proclaimed. "

You moved towards the sound a hand over the metal, "Yup, just...y'know...checking in. Seeing what you're up to...The usual..."

"Ah, that makes sense."

_"ARE ALL BAROQUE WORKS AGENTS IDIOTS?!"_

"So how does this thing work exactly?" You mused aloud, flicking Mello as an afterthought, "I'm sure you two are experts at thi-KRONOS WHAT THE HELL?!"

You'd made the unfortunate choice of looking directly at the Mr Seven pair. Mr Seven himself looked like he'd been put into a stamping press as a child while Miss Father's Day... _ugh_.

She cocked her head, "What's wrong."

_"How someone can be that obsessed with frogs is beyond me."_

_'Maybe she's half frog...she does ribbit after all…'_ Rubbing the bridge of your nose, you pointedly looked away, "O-oh it's nothing. Nothing at all. I was just s...uh...surprised is all. So how does this thing work again?"

"Ooooooooooh, it's nothing really." Mr Seven raised a lighter, "We just aim the cannon at the square and light this fuse." He held up the end triumphantly.

Running a hand over the Baroque Works symbol painted on the side of the sleek metal, you smirked, "I see. D'you know what you're firing?"

The exchanged a shrug. "Just a regular cannon ball I think ribbit."

They didn't seem to be lying, but the light ticking noise you faintly picked up said something different.

 _'He's planning to bomb the main square.'_ Your eyes narrowed, _'And when it comes to explosives, size is proportional to power, which means…'_

_"I think you would phrase it would be, 'we're in deep shit', correct?"_

_'Exactly. And neither of us know how to diffuse a bomb. But,'_ your eyes lit up, _'there is one thing we can do.'_

Mello chuckled, _"If you're talking about cutting the fuse, I've already done that."_

You raised an eyebrow. _'Nicely done.'_

_"Please, consider who you're talking to here. I leave the rest to you"_

"Well then," you clapped your hands together, "It seems you guys are doing a, uh, great job here. Yup, simply fantastic. Couldn't have done it better myself."

"You know," an arm draped itself over your shoulder as Miss Father's Day leered at you, "If this goes as planned, you may find that we take your position, Miss Hallows Eve. Ribbit ribbit ribbit!"

Mr Seven recoiled, "M-M-Miss Father's Day! Y...uh...you can't say that!"

 _'Well yeah, because you'd die if your task went perfectly. I wouldn't put it past the bastard.'_ Even so, your foot shifted backwards ever so slightly, "Now correct me if I'm wrong, but are you saying what I think you're saying? Because if you are, well then," you giggled, "you just pissed me off."

She aimed the barrel of her gun at you, "Try me, ribbit ribbit." Pouting, she glared at her quivering partner, "Raise your gun, Mister Seven we can take h-"

Before she had even finished you'd swept Mello in a wide ark, catching both her and Mister Seven straight in the chest. Grunting at the effort, you managed to fling them through the clock face without them gaining so much as a scratch.

You whistled, more than slightly impressed as they soared down over the rooftops, "That takes care of that problem." Your face fell slightly, "But we are quite high up...I hope they don't…y'know...die."

_"I'm sure they didn't, Missy. As much as they failed to act like it, they were trained assassins after all. A fall from this height cannot do much."_

You nodded blankly, more for the effort of convincing yourself than anything else.

_"Well then. I believe we should let the rest of the crew know about this development, no?"_

"Yeah…" You slapped yourself to attention, "We should probably head to the palace."

Mello hummed, _"That would be the direction the cannon is facing."_

You placed a hand on the appropriate clock face and instantly had to flail your arms about to stop yourself from falling off the ledge.

_"So it's a door hm…? Well I wasn't expecting them to fire a potentially volatile explosive through a clock face I suppose."_

"Coulda told me about it sooner..." You mumbled, straightening yourself up to stare out of the large hole, "That sorta shock takes a decade off your life, y'know. But at least we don't have to bust through any glass this time." Turning, you gazed into the barrel of the large cannon to look at the ticking bomb, "I do feel kinda bad about just leaving it here, though…"

_"We cannot do anything as of yet. I doubt you can even lift it even if I strengthen your arms."_

"Yeah…" Aiming yourself towards the palace, Mello shot you into the air once more, "Remind me to ask Mop-boy for some basic strength training after this is all over. May not do much good, but it'll be useful at least."

Mello hummed in agreement.

Because you were high up anyway, the journey to the palace seemed to fly by. ("Heh. _Fly_ by." _"Please Missy…We've talked about the puns."_ "Yeah, like, seven years ago.") So it took very little time for you to land in the lush green lawns of the palace courtyard. "Have to say, for a country in drought, this grass is very well watered," you mumbled absentmindedly.

_"Vivi explained about the Dance Powder, yes?"_

You grimaced, "I know, I know, this is Croc's doing. Just making a comment is all."

You moved to step forward when you were circled with a ring of fan axes, "Halt assassin! How did you get in here?"

"Oh Kronos, not again...It's like they lack originality or something."

"Miss (y/n)!"

Grinning with relief, you flipped yourself over the ring of (probably genuine) guards and sprinted towards the waving figure, "Vivi! Man is it good to see you!"

"Princess!" The large man next to her instantly moved forwards with a hand on his sword, "This woman is a demon, please stay back!"

_'Ouch.'_

She shoved him aside, "Miss (y/n) is my _friend_ , Chaka. She's one of the people who helped me get here safely." Eyes narrowed to slits, "I'd _appreciate_ it if you weren't so rude to her."

He nodded his complacently, but still his eyes lingered apprehensively on you. Nothing you weren't used to, yet it still stung.

At this point, you managed to get a clear look at Vivi's face. At all her scrapes and bruises. You slowed to a stop in front of her, "What happened?"

Vivi was already shaking her head, "Doesn't matter right now, other than Mister Luffy is battling Crocodile as we speak. What about you? Was your hunch correct? Where's Mister Ace and Mister Caspar?"

"Well, I'm glad we went." You briefly outlined what had happened, and just how lucky you'd been, "I couldn't tell Cas or Hot Stuff before I went…"

"I'm sorry, _'Hot Stuff'_?"

You blinked at her incredulously, "Ace, duh… He runs about shirtless and shoots literal fireballs at people, how could I _not_ call him Hot Stuff. But more importantly there's a bomb in the clock tower."

"What?!" Her eyes boggled, "There's a bomb?!"

"Yeah, in the clock tower. I took out the two number agents who guarded it, so that's good at least. Not that they were worth much. The bomb itself is pretty damn big, so I couldn't really do anything about it, but Mello cut the fuse of the cannon it's in. Both of us are pretty sure it's on a timer though…"

She bit her lip, "That's bad, but at least we know about it...and Mister Ace and Mister Caspar should quell the situation in Nanohana. I had wondered why there were so few rebels here, I must thank them both later."

"There's, ah, one more thing…"

"A-All preparations are done, Princess Vivi!" A battered guard saluted, "We await your orders to light the fuses."

You frowned, finally taking in all the rope fuses hanging from the walls and the guards holding lit torches, "Vivi, care to explain?"

"We're blowing up the palace."

"I see..." You shrugged, "I'd be lying if I said I was okay with it, but I'm sure you have your reasons…I trust you know what you're doing."

She nodded her thanks before gazing lovingly up at the ornate doors, "This palace has soaked in 4000 years of Alabasta's history. I have so much pride in it. But," her fists clenched, "if I destroy the palace, the people should stop fighting and look up to me! I will be able to tell them with my own words!"

_'I take it back, that's a terrible reason.'_

_"Then why don't you voice your concerns aloud, Missy."_

You remained silent. You knew full well why you couldn't. Because this was the only option Vivi had, and she wouldn't have chosen this if there was an alternative.

Her fists shook a little, but her voice remained strong, "Now, LIGHT THEM!"

The only hint you got was the wind picking up. Before you could react, a sandstorm howled into life before your very eyes. Which you quickly closed to avoid the typical tiny stabs by each individual grain of sand. Which, to your shock, never came. Sand raged everywhere, but a single grain never touched you, Vivi, or that Chaka guy.

_'Something's off.'_

But you couldn't think about it for long. You were having enough problems as it was trying to keep yourself anchored to the ground in this gale force wind. Thankfully, Mello hadn't yet been recalled, and he instantly wrapped his blade around a nearby sculpture. The guards weren't so lucky, tossed mercilessly into the air like lifeless dolls.

Any flame didn't stand a chance. As _he_ had probably planned.

Since once all the guards were airborne, the air whispered to a stop. One by one they fell, slamming heavily into the ground.

Vivi rushed towards them, "Are you alright?!"

You rolled your eyes as you scrambled back to the ground, _'Bit of a stupid question if you ask me.'_

"The…sand..." the poor man managed to cough out. His head lolled to the side shortly after.

Something triggered in your head, _'Sand...Dear Kronos so I was right...'_

_"We always are."_

"Geh...so much trouble…"

You recognised that voice. True, it had been tinny and at the other end of a transponder line, but there was no mistaking that slow, mocking tone.

"So it's a devil fruit, is it?" you mumbled as the sand gathered together, slowly building a man high up on the rooftop. "Sand-sand fruit...who'd have thought…"

"You're being rather rash, Miss Wednesday" Crocodile smirked, the horizontal scar across his nose contorting with the action.

You'd never met him before, but you'd been shown the bounty poster. Nothing much had really changed since he'd become a Warlord, but one thing the poster cut out was that impressive golden hook.

_'It's a little pretentious...'_

He cocked his head to the side, "This is going to be my house, you know."

_"I guess that it's ideal then."_

_'Yup. What a prick.'_

Another figure gracefully flipped down beside him.

Despite knowing she was an enemy, you felt relief balloon within you, "Nico Robin."

"It's a pleasure to see you again, Miss Hallows Eve. I look forward to working with you," she crooned, tossing a limp figure over to her boss.

"Your Majesty!"

"FATHER!"

"Uuuuh...when did the King get captured?"

"The palace isn't half bad," Crocodile mused, cackling disjointedly in a way that made you shiver all over, "I have a great view of all those little shits down there. You should come up here, Miss Hallows Eve." He cocked his head expectantly, "It is your rightful place after all."

"She works for them?!" Chaka growled. Was it just you, or was the sound almost canine?

Either way, you made to stand behind Vivi, "My place is with my captain and my friends, you cocky bastard. I wouldn't work with you if you begged me."

His brow twitched, heavy lidded eyes flicking towards his partner, "I thought you said that she'd join willingly, _Miss All Sunday_."

"And she will," She hummed, unperturbed by his warning growl, "As soon as she finds out your goal, I am confident that she will be," Her lips curled as she inclined her head towards you, " _very_ motivated to help us."

"W-where is Mister Luffy?" Vivi hissed with trembling fists.

Now that fully had your attention. Vivi had said that he was fighting Crocodile, but how could he have fought an enemy he couldn't touch.

Especially since Crocodile himself looked unharmed, "Eh? Straw-hat?" He scoffed, "Such a worthless excuse of a rookie."

Knuckles tightened around Mello. The weapon was hot to the touch, not that you were expecting otherwise. Mello expressed his anger differently to regular people.

"He's dead."

Everything inside you went dark. Hollow.

Vivi's shoulders tensed momentarily, an animalistic growl slowly emerging from her throat.

Memories of Drum flashed back to you. Of your blood streaming down your face as you pulled your friends up a mercilessly vertical cliff. Of what you'd said.

_"I CAN'T LOSE YOU GUYS!"_

"You're lying."

His eyes laughed back at you, "I can assure you I'm not."

"You're fucking lying," Something wet dribbled down your cheek, which for once wasn't your blood, "Like hell he's dead."

"But he is. Straw-Hat is buried beneath the sands at Rainbase."

"You can't have killed him." Marching forwards, you brandished Mello at him, "You know what I am. You know what I can do. What I can see.  And I _never_ saw the future king of the pirates being brought down by scum like you!"

Pale blue hair flipped past your face, "She's right, someone like you couldn't kill Mister Luffy!"

"Well, _you're_ only brave enough to yell at me because those pirates are willing to give their lives for you, Miss Wednesday." His eyes flitted to you, "Even those who should be giving them to me."

"Fuck off! I said no!"

A vein bulged on his forehead, "Miss All Sunday…"

She dipped her head obediently, crossing her hands in front of her, "My apologies, Miss Hallows Eve, but it is for your own good. Seis Fleur!"

"Huh?!" You recoiled as your vision got obscured in a cloud of cherry blossom petals. Something grabbed your arms and legs, forcing you to the ground with arms pinned to your side. You inclined your head to get a better look, "Are those... _hands_?!"

Miss All Sunday cocked her head to the side, "I'll be taking your weapon now."

"No!" You frantically wiggled from side to side to avoid the final pair of arms reaching towards Mello. He instinctively started to recall himself into your body, the shaft getting smaller and smaller at a rapid speed. Miss All Sunday's extra hands grasped at thin air. You let out a sigh of relief at the sensation of the black lines filling out on your left side. _'Nice one.'_

_"That...was far too close…"_

_'Damn right.'_

"Now now, Miss Hallows Eve. That was unruly; you've left me no choice but to do this. Clutch!"

You grunted as your entire spine arched over backwards until the crown of your head touched the ground. It hurt, that was inevitable, but still, "I prefer this to dying of blood loss, thanks."

A tentative hand prodded your shoulder, "Miss (y/n)!"

"I'm fine Vivi, but please don't touch," you winced, sweat starting to drip out of every pore, "My body's working overtime to make sure my spine doesn't snap like a twig."

Crocodile chuckled, "Good...keep her like that, Miss All Sunday, until she passes out."

"As you wish, sir."

It was going to happen sooner rather than later at this rate. It didn't matter how much you wiggled and squirmed, Miss All Sunday's grip was absolute. Crocodile had done his research. You were trapped.

You cursed under your breath as the wind picked up yet again, tendrils of sand flickering in and out of your vision. Sure, the upside down sight of the clock tower was nice, but you kind of wanted to see what was going on.

Especially when you heard two loud thuds that definitely sounded like something piercing through bone. You'd had the experience to tell the difference.

"F- _FATHER_!"

Oh please no.

Chaka marched forwards out of your line of sight, "Release the King, Crocodile!"

"Really now, do you _really_ think I would go through the trouble of immobilizing him and let him go just because you say so?" A click of a cigarette lighter, "Good grief, use your brain a little, will you?"

A new voice rose up, tired yet determined, "Forgive me, Vivi. I wasted the opportunity you risked your life to obtain."

Vivi whimpered. You could only imagine what was going on over there. _'I wanna see dammit!'_

"Damn," Crocodile drawled, "is that what a father says to his daughter when they're finally reunited? But now, Miss Wednesday-"

"DON'T EVER CALL ME BY THAT NAME!"

"First off, I have no intention of letting either of you two live. It's only natural for the Royal Family to fall along with its Kingdom. Don't you agree?"

You grimaced, "You're...sick!" Black spots started blipping in and out of your eyeline.

_"Keep going, Missy."_

_'Well it isn't like I can do much else, is it?'_

"But before I take the throne, I have a question for you, the former king." Slow footsteps retreated away from you, "Miss Hallows Eve can also answer it, I guess. But I'll confirm it with her later."

You didn't have the energy to respond to that, mentally or otherwise.

"From the very outset, I have held this as my final objective. Cobra."

You didn't have the energy to do much else at this point. Your head swam in circles, before everything faded to black.

"Where is Pluton?"

* * *

When you came too, you found without much surprise that you were dangling semi-suspended mid wall. Metal nails through the elbows and knees included. Glancing to your left, you turned to see a man hung in much the same position you were, but only with nails through his elbows, "I take it you're Vivi's dad, Cobra the king of Alabasta, yeah?"

He gaped at you, "You have…. _black_ blood!"

"Yes get over it already."

"When you get wet, you can't turn into sand." Luffy smirked, dousing himself in water, "You're scared of water. That's why you stole the rain."

Hang on… "CAP?!" A smile split across your face, "Oh thank Kronos you're alive!"

"(y/n), you're awake!" He grinned over his shoulder, "I'm gonna go kick his ass now, and then get you off there, 'kay?"

You smirked, noting the fine lines of blood dribbling from Crocodile's mouth, "Take your time. I'm not really in a hurry here."

_"Yes we are. I do not fancy passing out from blood loss, thank you."_

At once your eyes widened and you blocked out the sight of Luffy flying towards Crocodile, "Oh Kronos, the tattoo! The nail must go straight through it!" And Kureha said that you'd bleed out if that thing got so much as a scratch too...

_"I'm in bracelet form, Missy."_

"Huh?" You could barely tell thanks to the dark black blood trails dripping from your wound, "Oh yeah…"

 _"Honestly…"_ He tutted, _"If it weren't for me, you would be lying dead in a ditch long ago."_

"And I wouldn't be hunted down like this if I wasn't part an Ancient Weapon, you stupid scythe. So I think we're even."

"Uuh...Excuse me…"

You flopped your head to the side to raise an eyebrow at Cobra.

He gulped, "F-uh-forgive me for inquiring, but would I be right in assuming you are one of the Ancient Weapons?"

You mentally facepalmed at your carelessness. Mello triggered a migraine for good measure. "Yeah, part of one anyways. And if I remember correctly, Croc said something about Pluton?"

Cobra slowly turned back to face the fight, "He asked for the location, but I do not know where that monstrosity lies." His lips tensed, "Nor do I want to."

"That is what he wants you for, Missy Sai."

You had to crane your neck around the corner of your pillar thing to see her, "Oh, hey Robin. That hold really hurt y'know."

The only reaction you got was a slight smile, "Mr Zero wants you to read his future to tell him where he will find the Ancient Weapon Pluton. Oh!" Her eyes flickered inquisitively to your face, "You _are_ Kronos, are you not?"

"Yeah, kinda…" You cocked your head to the side, "But I have to wonder, how the hell did you know? That sorta stuff is a government secret, after all."

Her expression darkened. 

Not really expecting a serious answer anyways, you tuned back into the fight. Luffy's hat had been thrown to the ground a while ago, but the actual fight hadn't even started yet.

"Who cares if you're one of the seven warlords?" Luffy abruptly proclaimed, clenching his fists, "Then I must be the eighth warlord!"

You couldn't help but giggle at that one, especially at Crocodile and Cobra's faces, "You tell 'em, Cap!"

"Who is that man?"

"A pirate," Miss All Sunday replied back without even glancing the king's way. "Perhaps you haven't heard. It seems the Princess has narrowly escaped death once again."

You gaped at her, "Hold up, 'escaped death'?! What did I miss?"

"Then he's the one who bought Vivi here?"

Robin didn't answer him, her blue eyes trained on Luffy with gleam of anticipation.

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL HAVE I MISSED?!" You hung your head in defeat when it became clear that no one was going to answer you.

They had a good excuse not to, the fight raging between Luffy and Crocodile was pretty intense. You were impressed that Luffy could even hit the Warlord, let alone hold his own. Perhaps it was something to do with that water barrel on his back. But still, you smirked as you let yourself dangle in the most relaxed position you could (which was tough but you managed), you had full confidence in your captain. Crocodile wasn't going to stand a chance.

* * *

You strained in vain against your bindings, jaw slack.

The palace had become one with the desert country it ruled over. That vivid, green grass now lay buried under a thick layer of gold. A colour just as bright, but in a much harsher and much darker way.

A different gold compared to the lonely straw hat as it drifted aimlessly down to the square below.

"The-there's no way…" Words tumbled out of your mouth. You couldn't stop them if you tried.

You could only gape at the shaky silhouette that had dropped it. His skin's elasticated shine had completely vanished. In fact, it almost looked like it would flake right off him to leave only bone. If there was any skin left at all.

The two people next to you didn't say a word. You wished they would. It would make you snap out of this dream. Since that's what it was, wasn't it? A dream? It couldn't be anything else. It didn't matter that you could still feel the slow ebb of pain through your elbows and knees. Nothing mattered now. Not as much as this.

"This...can't be real..."

The fur lined cape fluttered in the light breeze, unyielding as its wearer held the twig thin body suspended over the large drop down to the square.

"He...he didn't really…did he?"

Even Mello didn't know what to say, and he always, _always_ knew what to say.

"Cap... _lost_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Goodness, that was depressing. I find cliff hangers like this so dull, Miss Author; you really should find better ways to end your chapters."
> 
> Uh, Mello? The hell are you doing here? Am I more tired than I thought I was? Must be if I'm hearing things...
> 
> "Excuse me, how rude! You are most definitely not hearing things! I just felt that your Author's notes were getting boring, so I decided to lend you my aid. You truly are getting too sloppy to be properly trusted to handle this."
> 
> I meant more HOW you're here, but fine. I can accept that. For now. What do you want?
> 
> "Just look at your comments. There is a clear divide..."
> 
> Yeah, between those who think Cas' whip is kinky and those who are crying about Ace. (I feel you people, I feel you) And everyone else who just seems to like the chapter.
> 
> "And they have a point. The whip, as much as it pains me to admit it, is...a little kinky. I do not see what was wrong with the blowgun to begin with."
> 
> *sigh* I know it is. That poor misguided soul, it's not like I made him do that, y'know. He made a fool of himself on his own. Now if that's all, can we wrap this up? I need to work on Broken Faith still, AND pack for uni. I'm stressed out enough as it is...
> 
> "I guess that's acceptable. I may stay around actually, it's surprisingly relaxing here. Not to mention we are having the finale to the Alabasta arc next chapter, which should be rather enjoyable to watch."
> 
> Great. Just great.


End file.
